You are currently browsing the archives for 10 January 2010

My 2 year old daughter has always drunk alot since coming off baby milk & is quite pale,could she be diabetic?

  • Posted on January 10, 2010 at 10:08 pm

diabetes isnt in mine or her dads family & our other 3 children dont have any signs.She does wee alot but wev put it down to drinking so much?! We want to start potty training but she is constantly weeing so thought we should check it out?!

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Do you care about drunk driving – I have an invention. Please help me evaluate by answering the following..?

  • Posted on January 10, 2010 at 8:32 pm

First know:

My invention is a breathalyzer interlock – fail breathalyzer = no start car.

My invention cannot be tricked by an air compressor or a so called sober friend. No need for random tests.

My invention costs $100 to $300 retail depending on the features. Competition is around $1000.

It can be programmed to only test subjects at certain times.(ie 8pm – 2 am.. party times)

?’s:
Have you been affected somehow by a drunk driver?

Under what conditions would you buy my interlock device for yourself or your loved one?

A: court mandate
B: if I have a son/daughter/relative/spouse I am concerned about
C: when king kong decides to shave.

Would you buy a breathalyzer interlock system for yourself or a loved one if it costs $300 or less? Do you feel $300 is reasonable?

Do you feel it intrudes on your vehicle if the device is placed between the driver seat and the center console(shift lever, parking brake location). What if stored in glove compartment?
I know it already exists, but mine is better supposedly.

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Criminology,Criminal Study,Criminal Behaviour,Criminal Science

  • Posted on January 10, 2010 at 8:07 pm

Criminology “The scientific study of crime and criminal behavior”

By Falak Sher Khan

A few days back, there were a bundle of articles on conditions of jails and the mistreatment done with the inmates in jails. During that particular period, I took interest in the issue and went to Attock jail for a better understanding of the whole issue but to my amazement, the situation there was not as dire as I was expecting. The inmates were not being tortured or ill-treated in any way. Neither were the prisoners in any of the conditions as portrayed in some of the articles that I went through earlier. After being granted permission to observe 302 Murder (Death Sentenced) convicts, two experienced officials briefed me thoroughly about the system and structure of jail and afterward guided to me to the death cells. The inmates were getting ready to say their prayers and we waited for them to be done. After about fifteen minutes, I started my interview from them one by one regarding the behavior of the administration. They expressed briefly that administration is very cooperative and no one mistreat us but our captivity place is too crammed to lie down easily. One of the prisoners was very young and really good looking with gleaming blue eyes, I asked for his act of penalty, he replied that a friend of his abused him verbally and, getting provoked, he fired three shots on him, thus ending up in death cell. He further revealed that he was merely seventeen years old when he committed the crime and now after 7 years, he is 23 years old. Another shocking case was about a young boy about 22 years of age who killed his own father with a dagger and it was about a week or so that he had been in custody, yet he had not changed the Kurta (Shirt) that had the blood stains of his father all over it. These incidents of very young individuals taking such drastic steps were beyond me. Subsequently, it raised a query in my mind that what could be going on in the mind of an individual or culprit that he takes such dire steps. It is difficult for a normal person even to see someone getting hurt rather than actually killing someone and to be able to live with the burden of a guilty conscience is a perpetual torture in itself. What can be the reason of one man killing another man was a question revolving in my sub conscious endlessly. A close friend of mine advised me to study the subject of Criminology, which is defined as the scientific study of crime and criminal behavior. Criminology is an advanced, theoretical field of study. It is the study of crime, the cause of crime (Etiology), the meaning of crime in terms of law and community and the reaction to crime. Theory is a complex subject in its own right and criminological theory is no exception. Criminals do not just take any step or decision. They are individuals, like us, but are affected, directly or indirectly, by their surroundings in one way or the other, mostly facing negative scenarios. According to research on criminal behavior, there are varieties of rational decisions that a criminal would make in the process of committing a crime. In criminology, criminologists keep in mind the factor that is free will but they eliminate some aspects such as background and situational factors that might incline someone towards committing a crime. In 18th century, criminology arose as social philosophers gave thought to crime and concepts of law. Over time, several schools of thought have developed. Two prominent schools were Classical & Positivist. In the Classical school, philosophers argued that people have the free will to choose how to act, all behavior is guided by hedonism (pleasure/pain calculation), all crime is the result of free will and hedonism, all punishment should fit the offense (equal treatment under law) and bad people are nothing more that the result of bad laws. It is important to note that the classical school was not very much concerned with criminals. They rejected retribution-based punishment because it focused too much on individual criminals than crime, crime control, the reform of the criminal justice system and the making of good laws. Second was Positivist School, Positivist school of thought assumes that criminal behavior is the result of internal and external factors outside of the individual’s control. The part of Positivism that referred to as “positive” was the forward-looking attitude toward social and personal betterment (the perfectibility of both society and human nature), Positivism is the search for other, multiple factors as the cause of human behavior. It represents a distinct shift from a focus on law and crime control to the inner workings of the criminal mind, and what makes it tick. Positivism can be broken up into three segments mainly biological, psychological and social positivism. Biological theory treats the defects and protects society from the untreatable. Psychological theory, predicts, prevents and therapeutically intervenes. Intervention therapies include psychoanalysis, group therapy, counseling, family therapy, drug treatment, and reconditioning. Psychoanalysis involves correcting childhood problems. Cognitive therapy involves learning new ways to think, tendency to do better with sexual and violent crimes, but ignores situational factors and has some untreatable assumptions. Sociological positivism claims that societal factors such as poverty, membership of subcultures, or low levels of education can incline people to crime. There is a term in psychology namely “Motive”. Motive is the psychological feature that arouses an organism to action towards a desired goal, the reason for the action that which gives purpose and direction to behavior. Criminology covers the concepts of motive to a vast extend. Criminology studies the motives behind any crime that takes place but motives alone is usually not sufficient explanations by themselves. There may be facilitating or triggering factors like presence of a gun and victim provocation. There are mainly to date 67 motives and to understand these motives same number of theories are developed. Some of them are mostly common in people of Pakistan, briefly written here are some of them to understand the reason behind crimes. Anti Social Personality disorder are one of the main factors behind crime and is very common problem in Pakistani society, it includes individuals who cannot contain their urges to harm people physically or mentally, repeatedly for no apparent reason are  to suffer from some mental illness. They may be choosing not to control their urges, they know right from wrong. Antisocial Personality Disorder (APD) main traits are that they are impenitent, Apathetic to others, blameful of others, Manipulative and conning, affectively cold, socially irresponsible, disregardful of obligations, nonconforming to norms, Irresponsible. The occurrence of APD is twice as high for inner-city residents as compared to people of rural & five times higher in males than in females. It affects people in all social classes, but if someone with APD is born into a family of wealth and privilege, they will usually manage to seek out a successful business or political career. They further fall into one of two types that are sociopath or psychopath. Sociopath is a person who has something wrong with his or her conscience. Sociopaths only care about fulfilling their own needs and desires. Their selfishness and egocentricity know no bounds. Everything and everybody else around them are just objects used as footholds to fulfill their own needs and desires. They often believe they are doing something good for society or at least nothing that bad. Psychologists and sociologists frequently use the term “sociopath” alike in referring to persons whose character is due primarily to parental failures (usually fatherlessness) rather than an inherent feature of temperament. Common Sociopaths are the largest subtype and have a weak or unelaborated conscience. They are not ashamed by the same things as you or I would be. Common sociopaths would be like undomesticated children growing up, taking pleasures and gratifying impulses at every opportunity or temptation. As teenagers, they are often runaways. As adults, they are often geographically mobile, living in shelters, or taking advantage of welfare systems. They are experienced shoplifters. Nevertheless, they seem genuinely happy with their lives, unburdened by any sense of negative self-worth or the fact that they have not been a functional, contributing member of society. Alienated Sociopaths never develop the ability to love, empathizes or socialize with individuals. They will show more emotion toward their pet or a personal artifact than toward a person or they may hate animals and live out their emotional life by watching TV. They will not get along with the neighbors or colleagues. They have a cold, callous attitude toward human suffering or any social problem in the society they live in. Most of them believe their behavior is justified because they feel betrayed in one way or the other by society.  Most of them will be more than happy to rant and rave about it to anyone who listens. They are chronic complainers. Aggressive Sociopaths derive strong, yet non-perverse satisfaction from traumatizing others. They like to hurt, frighten, tyrannize, bully, and manipulate, they do this for the sense of power and control. They polish their aggressive, domineering manner in such a way to disguise any intimidation others might feel. They seek out positions of power such as bureaucrat, supervisor or police officer. Control theories take the opposite approach from other theories in criminology. Instead of asking what drives people to commit crime they ask why, do most people not commit crime? Control theorists generally argue that there is no problem explaining why people commit crime since all human beings suffer from inborn human weaknesses that make them unable to resist temptation and this theory focus on restraining or controlling factors that are broken or missing inside the personalities of criminals. Inequality & unemployment are also among factors that cause individuals to take drastic action resulting in a dire consequence, unemployment & inequality does cause crime among people. One of the things about the Pakistan economy is the constant widening of the gap between rich and poor, thus also creating a negative psychological gap among the informal & formal groups.

One of the theories that revealed a true form of our society was the Labeling theory, it dictates that labeling and reacting to offenders as “criminals” or “worthless” has unexpected negative consequences, deepening the individual behavior and making the situation worse.  Labeling theorists believe that the criminal justice system is dangerous in the sense that it is “casting the net” of social control too widely. We will often observe in our surroundings that unemployed youngsters face humiliation by their parents on day-to-day basis sometimes. The process of tagging, defining, identifying, segregating, describing, and emphasizing any individual out for special treatment becomes a way of stimulating, suggesting, and evoking the very traits that are complained of.  A person becomes the thing rather than a human being. Being useless or a criminal becomes a person’s status.  It controls the way they identify or what they think of them self.  Others do not consider their other statuses — that of spouse, parent, or worker — only that they are superficially a useless thing or a criminal.  Sometimes this public scrutiny might scare or shame a person into conformity, but most likely, it has the effect of pushing the person to the point where they forfeit all further attempts at conformity.  An identity change takes place where the person’s self-concept loses any further stake in conformity, and because a deviant self-image is now in place, there is pressure to behave consistently as nonstandard.  Furthermore, people who get labeled nonstandard tend to lose contact with their conformist friends and start associating with similarly labeled nonstandard deviants. There are also theories in criminology that believe that criminality is a function of individual socialization, how individuals have been influenced by their experiences or relationships with family relationships, peer groups, teachers, church, authority figures, and other agents of socialization.  These are learning theories, and specifically social learning theories, because criminology never really embraced the psychological determinism inherent in most learning psychologies. There are plenty of negative test cases showing that not everyone who associates with criminals becomes a criminal. Biological conditions or Hormones also have an enormous impact on criminology. One of the first things you will notice about psychobiological criminology a branch of criminology that deals with psychological problems relating biology of human, is its inordinate concern for violent, aggressive crime. Not only are there certain organs inside the body that produce aggression, but aggressive stimuli outside the body will trigger bodily reactions producing a hefty amount of neurologically high hormones. Hormones are chemical messengers produced by the endocrine glands, the brain, gastrointestinal organs, sex organs, the kidney, the heart, the pineal gland, the skin and the hair.  They exert a strong influence on behavior, principally by inducing brain events that prompt people to behave in certain ways to environmental stimuli.  Hormones not only influence reactive or conscious behavior after environmental cues, but they also influence anticipatory or unconscious behavior by knowing what the body needs beforehand, hormones make a person think they want something before they see it. Criminology has many other theories and sub branches that need to be examined thoroughly if we want to understand the increasing ratio of crime and frustration in our society, one or two pages would not even be enough to write all the names of the sixty-seven contemporary theories. Government is not doing any serious efforts to improve the current conditions of our jails or society. One would be amazed to know that the government of Pakistan does not offer any psychiatrist services to the inmates in jails. There is only one officially hired psychologist in Punjab that resides in DIG office Lahore, I cannot understand the reason behind it but it seems that stress of work in DIG office would be more as compared to work in jails of Pakistan. Criminology is yet to given any proper status as a subject of interest in our society. Improving police and jail conditions can be temporary measures to suppress criminals but we should understand the reason that why ordinary individuals become criminals. Why does a father cut the throats of his own daughters? Why would a man molest an innocent child and cruelly incinerate the body in acid? Why would a person rape a six-year-old when he has daughters of the same age? Why would a pregnant woman be thrown in front of a pack of hungry dogs? Why does justice has to wait years, rotting in files?  These “Whys” remain and will remain if we are not ready to question ourselves that how much are we a part of this “Why”. Maybe Criminology can help us in understanding the criminal concealed in us.

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Advice on my daughter getting an underage drinking Wisconsin?

  • Posted on January 10, 2010 at 8:07 pm

My 15 year old daughter was ticketed for underage drinking. I am told this will be sent in the mail. What is my best options? What happens, what are the penalties. She is a 3.5, honor student. She will also be taking drivers ed this September. Can someone enlighten me, give me advice ? Appreciate it!

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The Chocolate Princess

  • Posted on January 10, 2010 at 8:07 pm

The older I get the more determined I am to not have to settle. When I was young I always could pick out the most expensive item in a store, at least that is what my mother says. Not much has changed in 50 years. My desire for quality has simply grown more quality conscious.

Although I wasn’t born with a silver spoon I never wavered from my standards. Sure, over the years, I have had to settle at times. For example, at one time I owned an older Mercedes Benz, but at least I owned one. I say owned because it didn’t take me long to figure out that the repair bills were higher on my Benz just for the name.

My taste in clothes is much the same. I have been happily inducted into the fashion police club. I remember fondly the year I spent working for Chase Manhattan Bank in the executive wing in Tampa, Florida before they merged with J.P. Morgan. There were three of us that hung out together. We would rate the way the other employees were dressed and sometimes it was pretty bad. We weren’t cruel or rude, we just quietly giggled over lunch.

I also remember well a visit from my baby brother, Steven, down from Atlanta, Georgia. I met him at the Tampa Airport and when he saw me again for the first time in six years he exclaimed, “Wow sis, you are gorgeous!” That made my millennium for sure!

My taste for fine wine and food is no different than my tastes for anything else. I may not drink $100 bottles of wine every night but I have enjoyed a few. And then there is chocolate; my one true vice.

I have a real love/hate relationship with chocolate. I love it when it is dark, creamy, and rich but as for my hips, well I think you understand. I have eaten all the best chocolates you can name, from Godiva® to Ghirardelli®, from Swiss to Belgian. However it wasn’t until early in 2006 that I discovered the absolutely, unmistakably, most fabulous chocolate you could ever begin to imagine.

The bakery that I discovered that will forever satisfy my chocolate fantasy is located about 12 miles south of Los Angeles in Whittier, California. My Little Taste of Italy is owned by Gloria Mount and her daughter, Liz. From my very first order of Chocolate Chip, Chocolate dipped biscotti I was hooked. Then, late last year Liz came up with a recipe for Cappuccino Brownies that are out-of-this-world! They are so rich and creamy that Jan Verhoeff, another of their loyal customers, has rightly dubbed them, “Orgasmic!” I have yet to try their Bada Bing–chocolate bundt cake but since it has my favorite ingredient in it you know it will not be long before it too passes over my quivering lips.

I don’t know what their secret is, but I, for one, am certainly glad they found it. Gloria has informed me that My Little Taste of Italy uses authentic Italian chocolate in all of their chocolate goodies. I don’t know what else they do that makes them sooooo yummy, but whatever it is I hope they never stop doing it. It’s no wonder to me that they are gaining a reputation for all of their tasty treats not only across America but in foreign lands as well.

Mama Gloria, as Mrs. Mount is known, is working on several taste sensations for the upcoming holiday. She tells me that they have developed two new flavors of biscotti and a new Florentine cookie she calls “Hot Mama”. I wonder what that secret ingredient is.

My Little Taste of Italy recently put together “Docle of the Month Club”. If you want to experience all they have to offer too this is a very good way to do it. Just look at this list:

• January – Hot buttered Rum Muffins (Box of 4 ) Just add a cup of your favorite hot brew for those wintry nights

• February – Chocolate Chili Cookies, (2 dozen) with pinch of cayenne pepper…enough to spice up your love life! Happy Valentines Day!!!

• March – Irish Crème Muffins (box of 4)…for the Irish in all of us!! Happy St. Patrick’s Day!!!

• April – Sicilian Orange/Almond Muffins (Box of 4). Enjoy spring’s fresh burst of orange flavors.

• May – Mamma’s Biscotti (1 Dozen) – Hats Off to all our Mammas. Happy Mothers Day!!

• June – Cappaccino Brownies (10) – Treat your Dad with his favorites, coffee and chocolate. Happy Fathers Day!!

• July – Angelinas – “The Italian Wedding Cookie” (2 dozen). A tribute to Elizabeth’s wedding reception, where the “Angelinas” were heaped on lovely trays.

• August – Thumbprint Cookies (2 dozen); Just like those footprints in the sand, our own thumb print will hold a dollop of jam. Happy last days of summer!!

• September – Chocolate/Blackberry Muffins (Box of 4 ) Cherish the last of the summer’s berries, mixed with chocolate. End of summer “blues”!!

• October – Old World Florentine Cookies (2 Doz) – Perfect fall colors with the crunch of fallen leaves.

• November – White Wine Muffins (Box of 4 ) Bursting with fall spices.

• December – Fiori de D’Eliso- Our buttery snowball as a tribute to Tony & Colly D’Eliso, our parents and grandparents.

Now I am sure you can see this is the cat’s meow! A true feast for the prince or princess in you.

Copyright 2007 Ginger Marks

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Lowering The Bar: Accepting a Less Active Role in Family Life: Matriarchs Handing Over the Reins

  • Posted on January 10, 2010 at 5:24 pm

When we are in our twenties and thirties and have an army of children running riot all over the house, we embrace a chaotic existence with both arms and love every moment of our children’s youth and exuberance – well almost every moment – perhaps we could all do without the novelty hair cutting incidents and the moments when the cat is spray painted.

 

As baby boomers age, they experience a slowing down that is not entirely unwelcome but none the less, some of us have difficulty stepping aside to let younger family members take responsibilities we have been accustomed to over many years.  For matriarch baby boomers, especially those with larger families and armfuls of grandchildren, it is often more difficult. 

 

Naturally, the busier family life has been, the greater the contrast when children leave home to start families of their own.  This silence in the family nest can cause a number of problems, according to psychological articles, such as depression associated with loss; feelings of inadequacy; loss of confidence and any number of emotional difficulties.

 

Baby boomers who are matriarchs with large families find shopping and cooking second nature by the time their children are grown.  For someone who is used to feeding a table of ten, there are certain adjustments to make and scouring cookbooks for meals for two can be a sad affair.  Just when we thought we were getting used to the idea, our daughters start inviting us around for family lunch on Sunday and doing a better job of it than we did! Aaagh!

 

Watching our daughters and sons take charge can be a bitter sweet experience; with our emotions swinging between pride as we realise how well we taught our children the life skills they need to raise a family of their own and sadness that we are no longer a vital part of their new family structure. 

 

Psychological articles that deal with the subject of loss note that this period of baby boomer family life can be among the most stressful, as feelings of uselessness overwhelm our determined efforts to not be affected by our new status of ‘part timer’.

 

Baby boomers who are going through this difficult time will sometimes find the birth of a new grandchild will provide the role they are waiting for.  The transition from Mom to Grandma can be fraught with feelings of being ‘usurped by an interloper’, albeit a much loved one, but in fact taking a backstage role is part of the natural evolvement of family life.

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Men Flock to Plastic Surgery But Need Different Procedures and Techniques

  • Posted on January 10, 2010 at 5:20 pm

Plastic surgery has undergone a change lately. When I first started training 15 years ago, I met only a few men who wanted to go under the knife. Plastic surgery was the domain of young women working on their bodies, and women over 35 refreshing their faces. Men picked up their wives and girlfriends after the procedures.  They stayed away from the operating room themselves.

Not anymore. Last year more than 1,000,000 men had plastic surgery procedures, according the American Society for Aesthetic Plastic surgery.  The number is growing:  I see more and more men every month. Sports Illustrated now sits with Vogue in our magazine rack.

Men are turning to plastic surgery to feel better, look younger, and help with their careers. But just as men are from Mars and women are from Venus in relationships, so too are they different when it comes to plastic surgery. With the wrong procedures, or the right procedures done the wrong way, men wind up looking less like they did when they were in college — and more like their college-aged daughters.

Where women tend to undergo lifts, men steer more toward reshaping and recontouring. Nationally, the top three surgical procedures for men are liposuction, rhinoplasty (nose work), and blepharoplasty (eyelid surgery).  Men are going for Botox and skin treatments as well.  It does seem that plastic surgery for men is here to stay.

Even in-shape guys have love handles that tend to scream “flab.” These areas usually can be eliminated with liposuction. Likewise, many men I see complain of fullness in the chest (and I am not talking pecs here) that diminishes their masculine look. Liposuction provides excellent results here too. This surgery can help bring back the abs men had in college.

Liposuction often provides desired outcomes that often cannot be achieved at the gym. Localized fat deposits that are hard to exercise away stand as inviting targets for liposuction. I had one patient nickname my liposuction machine his “mechanical personal trainer.” Results like this are improved still more as men head back to the gym after their procedures.  For some men, a Los Angeles tummy tuck provides even better results.  This is especially the case following bariatric or weight loss surgery.

Like rings in a tree trunk, lines reveal our age. In men, they tend to develop around the eyes and forehead. When treated early, Botox smooths fine lines on the face. By weakening tiny facial muscles, it stops the constant pulling that leads to lines on the overlying skin. Though the results only last between three and six months, the changes look very impressive.

When fine lines around the eyes graduate to true wrinkles, eyelid surgery turns back the clock. By removing excess skin and fat of either the upper or lower eyelid, men look refreshed without changing their overall appearance.

Men have different goals from women in seeking plastic surgery. And their distinct anatomy means that simply offering the same procedure to men as women will leave men dissatisfied with the results.

Plastic surgery is no longer for women only, even if some procedures are — such as the Mommy Makeover. Men have great results, just like women. But their bodies, goals, and temperaments are different. So the correct procedures, done in the right way, need to be selected to give men the outcomes they’re looking for.

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Adult Help

  • Posted on January 10, 2010 at 5:07 pm

“Not again!” I screamed silently as my dad’s footsteps careened him into the wall. . . slurring a curse, he stumbled. He was home and drunk – again.

 

“I hope. . . ” I continued my silent plea, “I hope you just keep on going past me. No need to say anything.”

 

The very large house I lived in, gave my embarrassment hiding room. . . the game room, the living room, the den, all places of retreat.

 

Fortunately that night my silent pleas were heard and he staggered to his room to sleep. Not a violent or explosive man, my dad was a rich drunk. He ensured we had the best money could buy. I didn’t know poverty. I knew extravagance. The country club type. . . boat, lake house, horses, pool in the back. . . I had a life most teens envied. I had a secret too that few knew. My dad was an alcoholic.

 

Not realizing it, I started trying out coping skills to see which ones made my life livable. . . as close to happy as I could get. Quickly I found the one skill that kept me going. . . I stayed busy!!

 

I stayed busy to stay away from the house. I stayed busy to distract myself from my hurt. I stayed busy to prove I was a good daughter. I stayed busy so I didn’t have to feel the pain of fear. I stayed busy so I didn’t have to feel. Period.

 

Now as a middle-aged woman, I find myself sometimes going back to those teenage emotions whenever I feel fearful or worried or stressed. As an adult child of an alcoholic, I realize that I have to make choices to NOT react in the ways I learned. I have had to allow myself to FEEL my carefully packed-away emotions.  Sharing. Laughing. Crying…and as I feel, I think. I think about what I would want to say to help you, if you are going through something similar.

 

The first thing is this: You will have to choose to believe the truth in what I am writing. You can choose to not believe what I write but that doesn’t make it false. You know, you can choose to NOT believe in the laws of gravity. You can then jump off a building. . . and you will find out your broken leg hurts just as much. Choosing to believe gravity is false doesn’t lessen the consequences of gravity. Truth is truth no matter what. I want you to believe because I know the truth can help you. . . but I can’t make you believe! You have to choose.

 

The 2nd fact is the wrong/bad/mean/scary/stupid/hard things your parents did, or do are not your fault. Even if you are 50 or 60 or 70 years old. . . those hurts may reach out and haunt you from years ago. Many times I find myself reacting as a teen girl FIRST and then when I realize it, I’m able to RESPOND as the woman I am today!!!

 

Let me speak to that little girl or little boy inside you: “You are not responsible for anybody’s actions but your own. You can’t control anyone but yourself.  Each person chooses to do what they do independently. The adults in your life are human beings. . . and they make the wrong decisions simply because they are human. NOT because of you. You are not at fault!”

 

My dad drank because he chose to drink. Not because I cost too much or wanted too much or was born too late in his life. (He was nearly 40 when I was born.) He chose it. I was not the reason, the excuse, or the problem. So you should know. . .  you did not cause those adults to do stupid things.

 

The last thing for today is you are not a mistake. I want you to think about this. You were born at this time in history because you are supposed to be alive at this time and in this place. There are still things just for you to do and see and experience. You’re alive because you are meant to be alive. I know it feels sometimes like you are a mistake and granted, we all MAKE mistakes in life.  But YOU, just you, are not a mistake. Your life is valuable. Do you know that valuable means? It means “priceless, dear, important, useful, worthy, significant and precious.” If someone else has told you something differently, let me tell you this fact again, YOU ARE VALUABLE!

 

Think about these facts and let them sink deep within your heart.  Believe in yourself because you are unique, gifted and special!

 

We all have much to offer each other. I hope you choose today to believe!

 

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Lucky Chinese Horoscope Gem Stones: the First Six Chinese Horoscope Gems

  • Posted on January 10, 2010 at 5:07 pm

When the Chinese heavenly god and the Chinese earth god decided to create Chinese Astrology and associate Chinese horoscope signs with animals of planet earth, they concluded that each Chinese horoscope sign would need a sort of a powerful material that would not only represent the sign itself, but it would also develop a strong connection, a spiritual relationship with individuals that belong to that sign.

So the great Chinese gods collected the twelve most valuable and powerful gem stones on planet earth. These where: Garnet, Aquamarine, Sapphire, Pearl, Amethyst, Opal, Topaz, Emerald, Peridot, Citrine, Diamond and Ruby. Then by studying the attributes of the gem stones they assigned each gem to a Chinese Horoscope sign. These gem stones would protect and bring luck to the possessor. Let’s talk about the attributes of the first six lucky Chinese horoscope gem stones and their association with Chinese Astrology and culture.

Lucky gem stone: Garnet

Associated Chinese Horoscope sign: Rat

Attributes: Garnet is mostly associated with love, loyalty, passion, mental health and women’s needs. Garnet usually comes in deep red colors, that is why Chinese like to call it “The Blood Stone”. It is a gem stone that is very hard, which makes it suitable for wearing or for decoration purposes. Chinese use Garnet to alternatively cure severe melancholy and depression. Little pieces of Garnet are traditionally given to Chinese pregnant women to help them with their pregnancy. It is also known to stabilize a woman’s menstrual cycles. A Chinese legend claims that if you tie a piece of Garnet in your front door it will protect your house against thieves.

Lucky gem stone: Aquamarine

Associated Chinese Horoscope sign: Ox

Attributes: Aquamarine is associated with peace, tranquility, physical health, women and the spirit of the goddess. Aquamarine has an one of a kind transparent blue color that will bring calmness and mental clarity. According to Chinese legends, aquamarine was created by the great Chinese god of the sea who had the form of a sea monster. Then it was given as a divine gift to the Chinese goddesses of the sea in order to charm them. It is very common for Chinese fisherman to carry a piece of aquamarine to invoke the goddesses to bring them luck and protect them when sailing. Traditional Chinese doctors use it to cure digestive problems by dropping aquamarine jewelry into glasses of water and of course removing them a few minutes later, after aquamarine has acted.

Lucky gem stone: Sapphire

Associated Chinese Horoscope sign: Tiger

Attributes: Sapphire is highly associated with guidance, and enlightenment, money, prosperity, peace of mind, leadership, inner strength and self confidence. Chinese use it to send away negative energy and wicked thoughts and bring amiability and fulfillment. Chinese legends claim that Sapphire will open your mind and show you the way to connect with your inner self and god. Sapphire is commonly used in China for concentration and visualization exercises because of its magnificent ability to inspire, and stabilize your mind. Sapphire is a gem stone associated with oracles, dreams and the art of seeing into the past and the future. Chinese call it “The Third Eye Stone” and use it to cure physical eye-diseases or improve their vision.

Lucky gem stone: Pearl

Associated Chinese Horoscope sign: Rabbit

Attributes: The Pearl is associated with purity and purification, innocence and the feminine side of people. In Chinese culture the pearl is really powerful and is considered to be “The Tear From Heaven” or “The Tear of God”. A Pearl is given to young, unmarried Chinese women to help them find their soul mate. It is a gift that Chinese fathers love to give to their young daughters when they reach adolescence to guard their purity. It is also common among wealthy Chinese to drink alcohol with dissolved pearls to cure all kinds of disease and illness. The Pearl is also used as strength and energy booster.

Lucky gem stone: Amethyst

Associated Chinese horoscope sign: Dragon

Attributes: Amethyst is associated with strong intuition, the brain, wealth, peace, protection and spirituality. Chinese use it for many purposes. For example it is common to wear amethyst jewelry if you are about to drink a lot. Amethyst will protect you from drunkenness and will keep you sober. It is also used in many parts of China, against all kinds of addictions like smoking, alcohol or drugs. This magical purple gem stone is also used for spiritual purposes like meditation or divination. Chinese believe that Amethyst will increase your psychic powers and your invocation skills. Many Chinese Mediums and Astrologers (including me) always carry a piece of Amethyst with them as a divination tool. Last but not least, Amethyst is used in China as a natural medicine against insomnia and bad dreams.

Lucky gem stone: Opal

Associated Chinese horoscope sign: Snake

Attributes: Opal is associated with guidance, luck, honor, potency, visions, dreams and mind power. In many western cultures Opal is considered as a bad stone. Chinese though, believe that Opal will bring tremendous luck and abundance to those people who’s lucky gem stone is Opal. It is a strange and highly mystical gem stone with strong occult powers. Chinese legends refer to Opal as “The Invisibility Stone”. It is also used to receive advice from the spirits through dreams. Chinese put it under their pillows to protect them when they enter the dream world during sleep. Chinese Mediums use it for spiritual journeys and to provide guidance. Opals can change their colors from dark to bright according to the mood of the possessor or to give a message to the holder.

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“Unquenchable Russia”, or Forbidden Themes in Nabokov’s Prose

  • Posted on January 10, 2010 at 4:08 pm

“…What I feel to be the real modern world is the world the artist creates, his own mirage, which becomes a new mir (“world” in Russian) by the very act of his shedding, as it were, the age he lives in” . Such an answer Nabokov once gave to an interviewer who was interested in his opinion regarding the modern world and contemporary politics. The book which contains this interview as well as many others, is entitled Strong Opinions, and, indeed, Nabokov is well-known not only for his brilliant fiction but for his original, independent and uncompromising views on creativity, art and the place of artist in the world. Whenever interviewed, he avoided discussion of “general ideas” such as social, political and moral issues and asserted that such global concerns lay outside the realm of art: “A work of art has no importance whatever to society. It is only important to the individual, and only the individual reader is important to me. I don’t give a damn for the group, the community, the masses, and so forth… There can be no question that what makes a work of fiction safe from larvae and rust is not its social importance but its art, only its art . A work of art, for Nabokov, is a world in itself, brought to life by one’s creative imagination. It leads its own independent existence, unrelated to its historical surroundings and realities. In the introduction to his Lectures on Literature Nabokov explains once again: “…The real writer, the fellow who sends planets spinning and models a man asleep and eagerly tampers with the sleeper’s rib, that kind of author has no given values at his disposal: he must create them himself. The art of writing is a futile business if it does not imply first of all the art of seeing the world as the potentiality of fiction” . In this statement, visions of cosmic grandeur and an obvious reference to the story of Adam and Eve reflect a parallel between creator-artist and creator-God. In one of his interviews Nabokov explicitly brings out this comparison: “A creative writer must study carefully the works of his rivals, including the Almighty. He must possess the inborn capacity not only of recombining but of re-creating the given world” .


Nabokov’s position is, to a degree, a reaction to the situation in Soviet Russia, where demands of the state dominated the needs of a human being, where the individual was suppressed by the collective and details by generalities. He asserts once again the power and independence of personal creativity, the ability of one’s imagination to build worlds of its own, and makes a sharp distinction between a work of fiction and everything outside of it, including the personality of its creator. “Literature is invention. Fiction is fiction. To call a story a true story is an insult to both truth and art” .


Nabokov insisted on a specific approach to literature from the readers as well. He renounced the usual tendencies of identifying oneself with a book’s characters, searching for clues to the social and political realities of the time the work was written, or trying to form “general ideas” about a book without absorbing all its specific details. Emotional involvement, he pointed out, could also prevent the reader from objective appreciation of the work “…A wise reader reads the book of genius not with his heart, not so much with his brain, but with his spine. It is there that occurs the telltale tingle even though we must keep a little aloof, a little detached when reading” .


Nabokov avoided formulating his ideas under the famous slogan “art for art’s sake” just as he avoided labels of all kinds, but this well-known phrase can undoubtedly be used to describe his views and attitudes towards literature. In this hierarchy of values, aesthetic concerns dominate all others, and the influence of a great work of art on its reader is limited to a “tingle in the spine”. However, it remains to be seen, to what extent Nabokov’s ideas penetrate his own fiction; whether his novels are entirely a product of his creative imagination or a result of the deep personal experience that saturates them with great intensity.


Nabokov changed countries and languages during his creative life, and it is interesting to analyze whether these changes affected his books. Comparing two of Nabokov’s novels, The Gift, written in Russian mostly in Berlin of the 1930s, and Pale Fire, written in English at a much later date, can provide an insight into these questions.


As Nabokov mentioned in the foreword to The Gift, “the main heroine” of the novel is Russian literature, and the main character is a writer, an emigre author Fyodor Godunov-Cherdyntsev, who shares many autobiographical details with Nabokov. Like Nabokov during his post-Cambridge years, Fyodor lives in Berlin of the 1920s, writes poetry and makes a living by giving lessons in English and French. He leads, for the most part, a solitary existence, devoting his time first and foremost to literature. Happy childhood in St. Petersburg, love of butterflies and chess problems, synesthesia, – all this Fyodor has in common with Nabokov. Description of certain episodes mirrors incidents from Nabokov’s own life, depicted much later in his autobiographical book Speak, Memory, – for example, the story of a childhood illness: high fever, obsession with numbers and a huge Faber pencil, given as a gift by the mother.


Perhaps, the most significant trait that Fyodor shares with Nabokov is passionate love of literary language, faith in the power of the written word: “Since there were things he (Fyodor) wanted to express just as naturally as unrestrainedly as the lungs want to expand, hence words suitable for breathing ought to exist” . Fyodor reflects on his youthful interest in rhyme and meter, analyzing the very mechanisms by which words interact and fit together like pieces of a puzzle to form the harmonious whole of a poem. Fyodor shares Nabokov’s dislike of generalities such as social issues or psychiatry. When he briefly considers the possibility of fulfilling his acquaintance, Mme. Chernyshevski’s yet unvoiced request to write about her son, he explains his aversion to the idea as follows: “I would have become enmired involuntarily in a “deep” social-interest novel with a disgusting Freudian reek” .


Most clearly, Fyodor’s (and Nabokov’s) views on literature are expressed in Fyodor’s (imaginary) conversations with Koncheyev – a fellow emigre poet, the only one whose work he admires and whose opinions he considers valuable. When Fyodor and Koncheyev leave a literary gathering and walk together down the street, a unique, brilliant dialogue, filled with allusions to various works of Russian literature, takes place between them. “…There are only two kinds of books: bedside and wastebasket. Either I love a writer fervently, or throw him away entirely” , – declares Fyodor, and the two proceed to discuss what, in their opinion, is the best and the worst in the works by famous Russian writers. Both are utterly uninterested in “general ideas” or the moral significance of the writings they talk about (aspects which always attracted Russian critics and gained new importance in the Soviet period), and all they do is lovingly point out purely artistic findings of this or that writer. They praise Leskov’s Jesus – “the ghostly Galilean, cool and gentle, in a robe the color of ripening plum” or “the gray sheen of Mme. Odintsev’s black silks” in Turgenev’s Fathers and Sons. Speaking of dismissed Dostoyevski, Fyodor notes: “In the Karamazovs, there is somewhere a circular mark left by a wet wine glass on an outdoor table”, – and that, for him, is the only thing “worth saving” . As for several writers known for their beautiful depictions of nature, Fyodor ruthlessly criticizes them for mistakes in their descriptions of natural phenomena: “My father used to find all kinds of howlers in Turgenev’s and Tolstoy’s hunting scenes and descriptions of nature, and as for the wretched Aksakov, let’s not even discuss his disgraceful blunders in this field” . All these statements obviously echo Nabokov’s own approach to literature, with his love of detail, his insistence on accurate knowledge of the natural world and dismissal of any other criteria in judging works of literature.


Nabokov’s belief in the power of deception and invention in creating fiction frequently finds expression in his attempts to mislead the reader, to establish this or that false move in the development of the plot, which, after a few pages, turns out to be an illusion, a figment of the character’s imagination. The whole exchange between Fyodor and Koncheyev proves to be such an illusion: “Whose business is it that actually we parted at the very first corner, and that I have been reciting a fictitious dialogue with myself as supplied by a self-teaching handbook of literary inspiration?” However, the significance of this non-existent conversation in the novel is not limited to expression of opinions on art and display of Nabokov’s mystification devices. It shows the extent of Fyodor’s loneliness, the absence of interlocutors with whom he could share his extensive knowledge of literature and love of language: the degree of detachment from the surrounding world. In his book Speak, Memory Nabokov describes the way native Europeans were perceived by Russian immigrants in Germany or France: “These aborigines were to the mind’s eye as flat and transparent as figures cut out of cellophane, and although we used their gadgets, applauded their clowns, picked their roadside plums and apples, no real communication, of the rich human sort so widespread in our own midst, existed between us and them” . The Gift recreates that atmosphere of cultural and human isolation in which Fyodor has to dwell. Deprived of his own cultural environment, Fyodor feels nothing but resentment towards the German-speaking world he is trapped in. “The Russian conviction that the German is in small numbers vulgar and in large numbers – unbearably vulgar was, he knew, a conviction unworthy of an artist” , – and still he cannot help it, as he directs all his irrational hatred at a German who pushes him in a bus (and who, ironically, turns out to be a Russian).


Like Nabokov, Fyodor is trilingual, but his French and English in his current situation serve a purely utilitarian purpose, whereas Russian remains the language of his soul and his art. Riding a bus to one of his tedious teaching jobs, Fyodor thinks of himself: “…there he is, a special, rare and as yet undescribed and unnamed variant of man, and he is occupied with God knows what, rushing from lesson to lesson, wasting his youth on a boring and empty task, on the mediocre teaching of foreign languages – when he has his own language, out of which he can make anything he likes – a midge, a mammoth, a thousand different clouds” . This is why there are hardly any examples of word play and language switch in The Gift.


On the way to yet another hateful lesson Fyodor becomes completely immersed in the memories of Russia and his past life there, – memories ”swift and senseless, visiting him like an attack of a fatal illness at any hour, in any place” . The warm, sunny vision of the Russian countryside after a short summer rain stands out in such a sharp contrast with the surrounding colorless reality and the upcoming encounter with a hopeless pupil, that Fyodor ends up skipping the lesson and going home to his writings. This is another theme expressed in The Gift with great emotional power – the theme of nostalgia, longing for the lost homeland. Whenever faced with the question about Russia during his interviews, Nabokov gave replies such as “all the Russia I need is always with me” or “exile means to an artist only one thing – the banning of his books” . Sometimes, however, he speaks of Russia quite differently: “In the first decade of our dwindling century, during trips with my family to Western Europe, I imagined, in bedtime reveries, what it would be like to become an exile who longed for a remote, sad and (right epithet coming) unquenchable Russia, under the eucalypti of exotic resorts. Lenin and his police nicely arranged the realization of that fantasy” .


References to Russia in Nabokov’s novels, particularly The Gift, bear a trace of an overwhelming and bitter sense of loss, coming, undoubtedly, from personal experience. Like Nabokov, Fyodor transforms his inner world into art, and his poetry, born out of childhood memories, justifies, as he says, the years spent in exile. But even creative fulfillment in literature cannot fully relieve Fyodor of his nostalgia, which sometimes becomes almost a physical sensation: “For a long time he had wanted to express somehow that it was in his feet that he had the feeling of Russia, that he could touch and recognize all of her with his soles, as a blind man feels with his palms” . Again and again, he imagines an impossible return to his familiar and changed country: “And when will we return to Russia? What idiotic sentimentality, what a rapacious groan must our innocent hope convey to people in Russia. But our nostalgia is not historical – only human- how can one explain this to them?” Immediately following these lines is one of Nabokov’s central thoughts expressed through the words of his character and given a somewhat ironic ending: “It is easier for me, of course, than for another to live outside Russia, because I know for certain that I shall return – first because I took away the keys to her, and secondly because, no matter when, in a hundred, two hundred years, I shall live there in my books – or at least in some researcher’s footnote. There; now you have a historical hope, a literary-historical one…”


In this passage, there are two distinct perspectives on Russia, two different ways of perception – that of an artist and that of a simple human being, and it is the more independent, proud and detached position of an artist that Nabokov prefers to present to the world. He always vigorously protested against being identified with his characters, and, perhaps, it was his way of concealing that part of himself, which contained his own human feelings and dreams, often painful, often helplessly irresolvable. Nevertheless, just like in one of Fyodor’s childhood memories colors leak into his vision of letters and irrevocably affect his perception of language, this private and forbidden world of Nabokov inevitably enters his fiction in various guises and through different characters. Besides the theme of nostalgia, there is another highly personal development of the plot in The Gift, and it is Fyodor’s relationship with his father. Konstantin Godunov-Cherdyntsev is an explorer who is also very absorbed in his occupation and uninterested in the major upheavals that occur in Russia. In 1917, despite the troubled situation in Russia, he departs on one of his expeditions and never returns. It is another loss that haunts Fyodor: even though there is hardly any hope of seeing his father again, he keeps dreaming of his return, imagining that one day he would meet his father on the street, or hear a phone call… In one of the most poignant episodes in the novel, the phone rings, after all, in the middle of the night, and Fyodor rushes to the house of his former landlady along the streets of Berlin which suddenly become transformed into a beautiful, mysterious world somewhat reminiscent of St. Petersburg in a white night. Fyodor enters the room and sees his father. “With a moan and a sob Fyodor stepped toward him, and in the collective sensation of woolen jacket, big hands and the tender prickle of trimmed mustaches there swelled an ecstatically happy, living, enormous, paradisal warmth in which his icy heart melted and dissolved” . And again, almost unbearably this time, the whole scene turns out to be one of Nabokov’s false twists, and Fyodor wakes up from yet another dream to a cold and empty morning.


Nabokov denied a work of art any kind of “truth” aside from artistic one, but the episode with Fyodor’s father radiates with human truth: warmth, longing, vulnerability, the void of shattered hopes… One just has to remember the tragic death of Nabokov’s own father, to understand where all this is coming from.


In The Gift, covers are often transparent, and its hero is presented from multiple angles. He is not just a writer who “treats life as a possibility of fiction”, he is a human being who sees the world through the prism of his own experience, his own joys and sorrows.

The Gift was the last novel Nabokov wrote in Russian. In 1940, he immigrated to the United States and, since then, wrote his major works only in English. The change, as he said, was not easy: “My complete switch from Russian prose to English prose was exceedingly painful – like learning anew to handle things after losing seven or eight fingers in an explosion” . Pale Fire, one of Nabokov’s English novels, was written partially at the end of his stay in America, partially in Switzerland, where Nabokov spent his later years. The novel has important structural and thematic similarities to The Gift. Like The Gift, where a whole separate chapter is devoted to Fyodor’s biography of Chernyshevsky, a book on its own, Pale Fire contains a work of literature within it – a long poem written by an American poet John Shade. The rest of the novel is a commentary, which for the most part has nothing to do with the poem itself. It is an elaborate story of remote Zembla, whose king has been swept off the throne by the revolution and fled the country. Gradually, it becomes clear that Charles Kinbote, Shade’s neighbor and the author of the commentary, is himself the fugitive king. Therefore, as in The Gift, there is a theme of exile and a theme of creativity, though in Pale Fire they take quite a different development.


As Kinbote explains, “the name Zembla is a corruption not of the Russian zemlya, but of Semblerland, a land of reflections, of “resemblers” . Zemblan language resembles several European languages at the same time. There are obvious traces of Russian in it, and some words are borrowed almost unchanged: for example, there is a picture of bogtyr (bogatyr’ in Russian) in a Zemblan history book, and there are “stone-faced, square-shouldered komizars” (Russian: commissar) maintaining order on Zemblan streets after the revolution. Besides, French and German can be vaguely discerned in other phrases. “Minnamin, Gut mag alkan, Pern dirstan (my darling, God makes hungry, the Devil thirsty)” , – a Zemblan nurse says to Kinbote, and one hears, besides the Russian “alkat’” and, possibly, the English “pernicious”, “mon amie”, “Gott”, and the first person of the German “mochten”.


Nabokov in his interviews stressed that Zembla is not Russia, and, indeed, there is another Russia in the novel, a totalitarian state that contributes to the Zemblan revolution. Kinbote talks about “the tainted gold and the robot troops that a powerful police state from its vantage ground a few sea miles away was pouring into the Zemblan Revolution” . Kinbote’s constantly talks about Zembla, but his memories of it lack that depth of human feeling, which marks Fyodor’s nostalgia. Even though Kinbote repeats again and again “my Zembla”, “dazzling Zembla” , tenderness that shines through the best pages of The Gift, is missing from his story. It is essentially a story of himself and his escape from the country. For a king, Kinbote shows a remarkable lack of interest in the revolution that struck his country and the possible causes which led to it. He is more preoccupied with aesthetic and literary pleasures and calls the whole business of politics “a tiresome subject” . As for the revolution, all he can say about it is that it was “tedious and unnecessary” . In Kinbote’s attitude, there is some of Nabokov’s own indifference towards social and political issues. On the whole, the theme of exile is treated in the novel with certain coldness and detachment, but there are passages, which by their warmth and profound lyricism can be compared to The Gift. For example, Kinbote comments on his roommate who gets up early in morning and plants flowers with a very curious name: Heliotropium turgenevi. “This is the flower whose odor evokes with timeless intensity the dusk, and the garden bench, and a house of painted wood in a distant northern land” . Even aside from the reference to Turgenev, it is clear that this land, for Nabokov, is no other than Russia, – not the monstrous police state in the vicinity of Zembla, but the real, immortal, beloved Russia of Nabokov’s memory. And this short passage retains more emotional freshness and power than colorful descriptions of Zemblan mountains that have no counterpart in the author’s childhood recollections.


It seems that, to Kinbote, being in exile means not so much the loss of the homeland as the loss of his name and title (which he now has to hide), and thus partially the loss of his identity, and in this way his isolation and detachment is more complete than that of Fyodor in The Gift. One of the critics of Pale Fire interprets his behavior as follows: “…he is trying to get the poet John Shade to confirm his identity, to validate the Zemblan reality which is his hope of salvation by turning it into a poem” . With maniacal persistence Kinbote keeps talking with Shade about Zembla: “I mesmerized him with it, I saturated him with my vision, I pressed upon him, with a drunkard’s wild generosity, all that I was helpless myself to put into verse” . Kinbote calls his relationship with the poet “friendship”, but, in fact, he cannot care less about Shade as a human being with his own hopes and sorrows. While commenting on the poem, he utterly neglects the parts about Shade’s wife and daughter. Sybil Shade, who protects her husband from his neighbor’s intrusions, for Kinbote, is just as annoying obstacle in the way, and to him, the tender lines that Shade devotes to his wife are nothing but “embarrassing intimacies” . Kinbote haughtily deals with the theme of Shade’s daughter, Hazel’s, suicide, obviously a very painful and personal subject for the poet, as if it was merely a stylistic device: “The whole thing strikes me as too labored and long, especially since the synchronization device has been already worked to death by Flaubert and Joyce” . When Kinbote feels lonely and afraid in his empty house, he wishes that Shade had a heart attack, – just to have an excuse to come over and escape loneliness and fear. At the end of the novel, when Shade has been mistakenly shot by the assassin, his “friend” is in no hurry to call for help: instead, he rushes to hide the poem, which, he thinks, contains the story of his own life.


In comparison to Kinbote, John Shade appears to be a much more appealing character, and he possesses some traits that bring more human warmth into his image: he can be lazy, he likes hearty meals, brandy and wine; he loves his wife and daughter and is generally more tolerant towards people who are not as bright and talented as he is. Nabokov gives his character some of his most cherished thoughts. For example, Shade, who is also a teacher of literature, expresses his views on teaching: “First of all, dismiss ideas, and social background, and get the freshman to shiver, to get drunk on the poetry of Hamlet or Lear, to read with his spine and not with his skull” . However, since Shade’s personality is seen in the novel only through Kinbote’s uncaring eyes, his inner world is more or less concealed from the reader. It is only through Shade’s poem that one can glimpse into the questions, which preoccupy the poet. The poem, on the whole, is a painful, difficult search for meaning, an attempt to make sense of the whole puzzle of human life and death, to find a way of transcending one’s mortality. No human thought or emotion can relieve one from being trapped in one’s own finite world. Everything fails except art: art for its own sake, art that contains a unique, perfectly harmonized inner reality, which can be perceived as a reflection of a greater pattern:


I feel I understand


Existence, or at least a minute part,


Of my existence, only through my art,


In terms of combinational delight…


“Combinational delight”, indeed, is important not only in Shade’s poem but in the whole novel. As in The Gift, artistic detail is a focus of concentration in Pale Fire, but here attention is focused on an even subtler level where language itself is analyzed. Pale Fire is an example of extremely dense prose where individual words are more than just carriers of meaning: they become, in a way, themselves a subject of the novel. One of Shade’s warmest images of his family together is a memory of the evenings when both he and Sybil helped their daughter to understand really obscure words from her English textbook. A difference of one letter in the words “mountain” and “fountain” becomes crucial in the story of Shade’s attempt to penetrate the mystery of the hereafter. The book is filled with examples of word play, often involving several languages, and references to numerous works of literature (some of which are likely to be Nabokov’s own inventions). In Shade’s poem, there are such peculiar combinations as: “Fra Karamazov, mumbling his inept all is allowed” , which is a mixture of Alyosha Karamazov, Raskol’nikov, and, perhaps, Italian painter Fra Angelico with his intensely spiritual religious art. But nobody in the novel is more involved in digging into words than Kinbote. He is constantly preoccupied with deciphering literary allusions, musing over interplay of words, meanings, rhymes and sounds. Nabokov mentioned in his lectures that a dictionary should be a necessary attribute of a good reader, and, ironically, Kinbote, who can hardly be called a good reader, dutifully follows the lines of Shade’s masterpiece with his dictionary. For the most part, he is obsessively searching references to Zembla and his own life story in the poem, but sometimes he simply takes aesthetic pleasure in certain lines of it:


“Lines 131-132: I was the shadow of the waxwing slain by feigned remoteness in the windowpane.


The exquisite melody of the two lines opening the poem is picked up here. The repetition of that long-drawn note is saved from monotony by the subtle variation in line 132 where the assonance between its second word and the rhyme gives the ear a kind of languorous pleasure as would the echo of some half-remembered sorrowful song…” Shade’s commentator genuinely enjoys the magic of words, and so does Nabokov, whose multilingualism, artistic sense and incomparable mastery of language found full expression in the creation of the truly marvelous poem, as well as other parts of the novel.


Perhaps, the refined world of literature allows Kinbote a way of escape from his troubled personal reality, and so it does for Shade, and, to a degree, for Fyodor in The Gift, and, ultimately, for Nabokov. In his commentary, Kinbote recounts an episode when someone in the presence of Shade tells a story of a mad railroad worker, who “thought he was God and began redirecting the trains”. “That (“mad”) is the wrong word”, – he (Shade) said. – “One should not apply it to a person who deliberately peels off a drab and unhappy past and replaces it with a brilliant invention” . Still, comparison of Nabokov’s novels shows that the most “brilliant invention” becomes truly alive only if the light of one’s own human experience, however “drab and unhappy”, illuminates it from within. In Pale Fire the walls sheltering Nabokov’s private world of memory and feeling are thicker than in The Gift, and the novel follows more closely Nabokov’s ideas of art as elegant deception, an entirely invented world which should be approached on aesthetic rather than emotional grounds. This is the major difference between Pale Fire and The Gift.


Time is likely to be one of the factors behind this change: Pale Fire was written almost twenty years later than The Gift, as greater and greater distance separated Nabokov from his Russian past with which he had stronger emotional bond than with the years spent abroad. Another important factor is, probably, language. Nabokov was very proud of his English works and repeatedly called himself an American writer, but sometimes he provided his readers with unexpected revelations such as: “My private tragedy, which cannot, indeed should not, be anybody’s concern, is that I had to abandon my natural language, my natural idiom, my rich, infinitely rich and docile Russian tongue, for a second-rate brand of English” . In another interview, when asked which language he considered the most beautiful, Nabokov replied: “My head says English, my heart, Russian, my ear, French” . It is possible to say that for him Russian conveyed emotional power, while English had more of an intellectual appeal, and this is one of the reasons why Pale Fire, written in English, appeals to the brain more than it does to feelings.


One of the most striking confessions that bridges Nabokov’s inner world with his public self exists in a poem. An Evening of Russian Poetry, written in English in 1945, is a rhymed presentation of a public lecture which Nabokov gives to an audience of American students, predominantly female. Russian poetry is the theme of the lecture, but Nabokov approaches it in the way typical for him: he does not talk about schools, trends and periods. Again, he speaks of letters, shapes, individual intricate details, and hidden tenderness shines through his words, staying invisible for his listeners. They ask him questions about his favorite trees and stones, echoing that insensitive critic from The Gift, whose “discussion of Koncheyev’s book boiled down to his answering for the author a kind of implied questionnaire (Your favorite flower? Favorite hero? Which virtue do you prize most?)” In Nabokov’s discussion of Pushkin and Nekrasov everything merges and melts together: the sky and the grass, the beauty of verse and human feeling, – and inevitable theme of exile. Nabokov speaks of memories, saying openly: “I must remind you in conclusion that I am followed everywhere and that space is collapsible” . His private tragedy is lost on his young listeners, whose innocent inquiry prompts what becomes the most remarkable ending of a poem:


How would you say “delightful talk” in Russian?


How would you say “good night”?


Oh, that would be:


Bessonnitza, tvoy vzor oonyl i strashen;


lubov moya, otstoopnika prostee.


(Insomnia, your stare is dull and ashen,


my love, forgive me this apostasy.)


All of Nabokov’s carefully hidden private world that, he insists, “cannot, indeed should not, be anybody’s concern”, is suddenly revealed in these poignant lines: long nights, loneliness, the feeling of guilt over abandoning one’s language and nostalgia for inaccessible, unforgettable, “unquenchable Russia”.


Bibliography


1). Kernan, Alvin B. “Reading Zemblan: The Audience Disappears in Nabokov’s Pale Fire”. Vladimir Nabokov (Modern Critical Views). Ed. Harold Bloom. Chelsea House Publishers, 1987. 101-125.


2). Набоков, Владимир. Дар. Москва: Правда, 1990.


3). Nabokov, Vladimir. The Gift. New York: Capricorn Books, G. P. Putnam’s Sons, 1970.


4). —. Lectures on Literature. Harcourt Brace & Company, 1982.


5). —. Pale Fire. New York: Quality Paperback Book Club, 1993.


6). —. Poems and Problems. McGraw-Hill International, Inc. 1970.


7). —. Speak, Memory. New York: Quality Paperback Book Club, 1993.


8). —. Strong Opinions. McGraw-Hill International, Inc. 1973.

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