This past March I lost my beautiful 34 yr. old son to an accidental drug and alcohol over dose. I am left so empty inside. Some days I am fine, JUST fine. I have a 28 yr. old daughter and 2 beautiful grand daughters whom I babysit for regularly. This does keep me busy, and hopefully my sadness is hidden from them most the time, I am one of those grandma’s who will go out of her way to make sure my grand daughter’s are well taken care of and that they laugh often. My oldest grand daughter, she’s 11, tells her friends that I’m hilarious. That is what I want them to think, even though deep inside I am crying. My son had drug and alcohol problems since he was in his early teens and we’ve watched him struggle with this demon for most his life. He was a fighter and when he was sober would sponsor other addicts and we have recently heard of all the love and devotion he poured out towards those who needed help. He had moved about 3 hours from us when he entered a rehab. facility about a year ago and was doing fantastic,. In Feb. his girlfriend was found dead from an overdose and it devastated him! He called countless times asking us to come and help him, he had already started using again, and we didn’t go to him. I, on my own, had no way to get to him, and we really thought, like times in the past, that he’d go back into treatment, but that never happened. On March 17th he died in his sleep. It was ruled an accidental overdose, but since we’ve found out that he was at a strangers house and someone there fed him a prescription drug while he was extremely intoxicated, to get him to “pass out” so this person could run off with the girl they thought my son was with. It is under investigation now, but I am sickened that not only someone took it upon themselves to feed my son drugs, but that my son found it necessary to reach out to a stranger for help and I didn’t go to him. I am drowning in guilt and pain. Will this ever get better, does anyone know?
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