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Dear Dad Joke..???

  • Posted on September 30, 2010 at 10:28 pm

A father passing by his teenage daughter’s bedroom was astonished to
see the bed was nicely made and
everything was neat and tidy. Then he saw an envelope propped up
prominently on the centre of the pillow. It
was addressed “Dad”. With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope
and read the letter with trembling
hands:-

Dear Dad,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I’m writing you, but I’m
leaving home . I had to elope with my new
boyfriend Randy because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you.
I’ve been finding real passion with Randy
and he is so nice to me. I know when you meet him you’ll like him too
- even with all his piercing,
tattoos, and motorcycle clothes. But it’s not only the passion Dad, I’m
pregnant and Randy said that he wants
me to have the kid and that we can be very happy together. Even though
Randy is much older than me
(anyway, 42 isn’t so old these days is it?), and has no money, really
these things shouldn’t stand in the
way of our relationship , don’t you agree?

Randy has a great CD collection; he already owns a trailer in the woods
and has a stack of firewood for!
the whole winter. It’s true he has other girlfriends as well but I know
he’ll be faithful to me in his own
way. He wants to have many more children with me and that’s now one of
my dreams too. Randy taught me that
marijuana doesn’t really hurt anyone and he’ll be growing it for us and
we’ll trade it with our friends
for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we’ll pray
that science will find a cure for
AIDS so Randy can get better; he sure deserves it!!

Your loving daughter,
Rosie.

At the bottom of the page were the letters “PTO”.

Hands still trembling, her father turned the sheet, and read:

PS: Dad, none of the above is true. I’m over at the neighbor’s house. I
just wanted to remind you that
there are worse things in life than my report card that’s in my desk
centre drawer. Please sign it and
call when it is safe for me to come home.I love U
Star if you like :}

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I think I am addicted to plastic surgery…?

  • Posted on September 30, 2010 at 10:23 pm

I am 20 years old, I have a 2 year old daughter and I love plastic surgery. During my pregnancy I gained 60 pounds, going from 145 lbs to 205 lbs. I wanted it off without going through all the trouble of excersice so I had liposuction in my abdomen and the doctor removed 7 liters of fat……3 months later I had another lipo in my abdomen. Now I am desperate to get more, my doctor told me I need to get my arms, back, inner thighs, and chin done. I really want to get them done SOON! I am now 180 lbs and not happy with my body, I would also love to get breast implants. Any advice or comments would be appreciated, but my question is do you think I am addicted to plastic surgery?

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what do you think as a mother i should do about this?

  • Posted on September 30, 2010 at 7:19 pm

my daughter just told me her friend is doing and has been doing drugs. She and her friend are 13. I don’t know where she got them or how she’s been hiding them, but she is addicted. my daughter has tried to help her and is very worried about her, but can’t seem to do anything and has come to me for help. i know this girl and she comes to my house often. i don’t know how to handle the situation, please help.

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Is a reconciliation in the offing for traditional Catholic Mel Gibson?

  • Posted on September 30, 2010 at 7:19 pm

Sometimes one has to fall into the pit of sin to find repentence and resurrection. Mel Gibson, producer/director of the 2004 traditional Catholic epic, The Passion of the Christ, has certainly fallen to a nadir like that of David, the King of Israel, who committed adultery with Bersabee and arranged to have her husband killed in battle. Some recent reports indicate that a turnaround may now be in the offing.

The divorce filing that Robyn Gibson made on Easter Monday 2009 has not been finalized by the parties. Gibson fell off the wagon in more ways than one, not only taking an adulteress, but publicizing his adultery while praising publicly on television his mistress, who was little more than a loose woman, having already racked up two “husbands” while taking a third.

Recently there has been the spectacle of a disputed audiotape that his mistress made, purportedly showing Gibson threatening and even striking her. On the other side, the mistress’s dentist said that there is no evidence of her allegations, and the tape may be trumped up in a scheme of the mistress to extort 10,000,000 U.S. dollars from the megastar. Mel seems to be relearning the moral of this story: sticking with the traditional Catholic principles that he espouses when has not yielded to his manic-depression and binge drinking.

The “saint,” if you will, in this story, is Mel’s devoted wife of 30 years. Mel always said that she was his best friend and would chastise him when he fell off the wagon. This woman, whom our sources at the traditional Catholic church that Mel built in Agoura Hills, California, describe as a classy lady, has now come out to support her husband in a sworn declaration to a California court that he never hit her or the children during their marriage. It seems to have been Robyn’s declaration that swayed the court in a July 15, 2010, decree to confirm Mel’s right to visitation and time with his illegitimate daughter by the mistress.

Now there may be a reconciliation in the offing; one can only hope. Robyn has stepped forth again as Mel’s best friend, to persuade him that he needs to get away from Hollywood and find peace on his Australian ranch, and she will go with him along with some of the children. Mel has told friends that he will move back with Robyn to Australia, where he lived most of his life. He has already sold his mansion in upstate New York and has his Malibu, California, house on the market.

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I am DEPRESSED about my weight, but if I don’t like to exercise how can I lose weight?

  • Posted on September 30, 2010 at 4:33 pm

Here is a picture of me 17 years ago:

http://s118.photobucket.com/albums/o81/roniceb/?action=view&current=10-5-91.jpg

& here is what I look like now(my daughter-”me”-my sister):

http://s118.photobucket.com/albums/o81/roniceb/?action=view&current=TheVent8-22-08.jpg

I am 5’3 & I weigh 155 lbs & I have congestive heart failure, end stage liver disease & kidney failure due to alcoholism(and NO I was not drinking in that picture, I was there to watch my daughter in a karaoke competition, I haven’t drank in over a year) A little over a year ago I was rushed to the emergency room for heart, liver & kidney failure, I was told I had six months to live, I was put on dialysis & was in a wheelchair & was put in a nursing home, so I was confined to a bed for 3 months. Now that I am on my own again I feel huge & I want to lose 30 lbs, but I don’t like to exercise. So what are my options?

Thanks to everyone for all the advice:) I always worry about being criticized or judged because of how my life has turned out. I received so much information, it is going to take some time for me to read all the information for all the links provided. I do have some limitations on what I can & can’t do because of my medical conditions. I would like to pick more than one “Best Answer” because I believe some of you took the time to honestly evaluate my situation..
I just noticed it’s kinda hard to see the difference in my weight with me sitting down, so here is one of my sister & me standing:

http://s118.photobucket.com/albums/o81/roniceb/?action=view&current=sisters1.jpg

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haha thought this was great what do you think?

  • Posted on September 30, 2010 at 3:22 pm

I’m a little confused. Let me see if I have this straight…

If you grow up in Hawaii, are half African, and mostly raised by your grandparents, you’re “exotic, different.”

Grow up in Alaska eating moose burgers, a quintessential American story.

If your name is Barack you’re a radical, unpatriotic Muslim.

Name your kids Willow, Trig and Track, you’re a maverick.

Graduate from Harvard law School and you are unstable.

Attend 5 different small colleges before graduating, you’re well grounded.

If you spend 3 years as a brilliant community organizer, become the first black President of the Harvard Law Review, create a voter registration drive that registers 150,000 new voters, spend12 years as a Constitutional Law professor, spend 8 years as a State Senator representing a district with over 750,000 people, become chairman of the state Senate’s Health and Human Services committee, spend 4 years in the United States Senate representing a state of 13 million people while sponsoring 131 bills and serving on the Foreign Affairs, Environment and Public Works and Veteran’s Affairs committees, you don’t have any real leadership experience.

If your total resume is: local weather girl, 4 years on the city council and 6 years as the mayor of a town with less than 7,000 people, 20 months as the governor of a state with only 650,000 people, then you’re qualified to become the country’s second highest ranking executive and next in line behind a man in his eighth decade.

If you have been married to the same woman for 19 years while raising 2 beautiful daughters, all within Protestant churches, you’re not a real Christian.

If you cheated on your first wife with a rich heiress, and then left your disfigured wife and married the heiress the next month, you’re a true Christian.

If you teach responsible, age appropriate sex education, including the proper use of birth control, you are eroding the fiber of society.

If, while governor, you staunchly advocate abstinence only, with no other option in sex education in your state’s school system while your unwed teen daughter ends up pregnant, you’re very responsible.

If your wife is a Harvard graduate lawyer who gave up a position in a prestigious law firm to work for the betterment of her inner city community, then gave that up to raise a family, your family’s values don’t represent America ‘s.

If you’re husband is nicknamed “First Dude”, with at least one DWI conviction and no college education, who didn’t register to vote until age 25 and once was a member of a group that advocated the secession of Alaska from the USA, your family is extremely admirable.

I read this and thought it was great what do you think?
i didnt write it first off if you had read the whole thing you would know that. second in my book mccain wouldn’t live through his whole term due to his advanced age so really palin is who you would be voting for if your voting that way.

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how accurate on drug test for meth?

  • Posted on September 30, 2010 at 3:20 pm

my sixteen year old daughter tested positive for meths.. they took a blood sample and a urine sample do they use both to test or just one and if so how accurate are they?

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my son-in-law is hooked on crack cocaine and keeps running in and out of my grand children’s lives how to help

  • Posted on September 30, 2010 at 1:22 pm

my grandchildren have lived with me since they were born along with my daughter. her husband has been in and out of this home because of crack cocaine abuse. I kicked him out 3 weeks ago and he took my grandchildren and my daughter with him he is facing a charge of stealing someones checks and forging them to the tune of $9,000.00!and the kids want to come home. where do I turn to for help!

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bad first date sex .. need help?

  • Posted on September 30, 2010 at 11:26 am

Okay. I am only 25 and a guy. Been married since I was 23, been with the girl I was married to altogether since I was 20. Recently got a divorce. I am an attractive guy, but I guess I have no confidence. Anyways, I met this girl that I know through friends .. she is what I call a “respectable” woman, same age as me. She has a 6 y/o daughter and I have a 2 y/o. Anyways, we kinda hit it off .. never talked on phone, hung out before date like twice. First time, just being drunk at a bar – thats when we hit it off. Second time at a bar and we just talked and hung out. I asked her out on a date, she said yes. We texted like twice. On date night, I took her to a sushi restaraunt and then we went to a bar and I got plastered and I believe she did too. She took me to her house and I stayed the night, right when we got into her bed we kissed for the first time and within seconds we started having sex. Well, sex was pretty awkward because I was plastered drunk and I assume she was too. All she did was lay there and she had it completely dark where I couldnt see my hand in front of me. Well, 20 minutes into it she said we had to stop because she was dry and too tired .. then we started again .. but we both had so much dry mouth we couldnt even kiss then I gave up and said okay because she she had to be up like in 3 to 4 hrs to go out of town to a college football game. Anyways, she took me home and I got her a quick breakfast. I said i had a nice time and we should do it again. She said next weekend she has her kid but next weekend she won’t (i believe). Well, I hadn’t talked to her in 4 days, since then, and I texted her today and said hope you had a good labor day. she said she did and asked if i did. and we swapped like 2 more texts. To the point, what would a girl think in that situation? I mean, I’ve been out of the game for 4 years and I pretty much want some redemption sex to make up and show her I’m not lame in bed and I enjoyed her company besides that. I was shocked I got into bed that quickly with her. But what can I do to get another chance with her. Should I text her and go “we should hang out again but this time i won’t get so drunk” .. I just need advice.

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Legal custody issues?

  • Posted on September 30, 2010 at 11:22 am

I am a mother of a 12 y.o and 14 y.o who has what NY state calls shared parenting custody with my ex-husband. What this means is that the children reside in his home for 1 week and with me the next week. Not that I particularly like these arrangements, it has benefited the children in being able to see both sets of parents for equal amounts of time.

The issue started about 1 year ago when my ex and his current g/f started having relationship problems, which resulted in her verbally abusing my oldest child in retaliation of getting even with my ex. She stooped to levels that no women should when it comes to a child. She began to call her names such as (e.g. Nigger, whore) and went as far as threatening her. Due to these issues our local family court system awarded an order of protection for the kids stating that their father was to remove them from the house when they were in the midst of verbal altercations or if she was targeting the kids in any way. From this day on, there has been further incidents resulting in my daughter deciding that she no longer wanted to reside at her fathers house on her week that she would be scheduled to be there.

She has solely been residing with me and my partner since early December. She has recently broadened herself to explore opening up the doors to a relationship with her father again. She started going there prior to school in the morning and on occasion after school, and this has been fine with me and her father….up until now.

I received a call tonight from an “intoxicated” ex-husband stating “I feel like I am being used when it comes to my daughter. I feel like she comes here when it is convenient for you and I have decided that she is to come back to my house come monday or else I will be arriving with the local police and a copy of the custody papers demanding that she be returned to my custody”. I tried to rationalize with an irrational person that the fact was that she has decided that she did not wish to return to live with him week to week out of fear that the issues will resurface (which time has prooven will occur), but he now states “She better be at my house on Monday after school, or you can be prepared to meet with me and the police.

I have sat down to discuss the options with my daughter, who still states that she does not wish to return on a week to week basis. My plan is to go to file custody paperwork at our family court house tomorrow, but this does not just happen on day one. You have to way for weeks on end until your court date arrives and then you must go to court to argue your case.

I guess my question is…what should I do if he does pursue the police thing come Monday? What are my daughters rights at 14 in telling the police that she does not wish to go back to his house? Can I do anything to expedite a court decision any faster so we don’t have to do any of this battling come next week?

Thanks for any assistance that you can offer,
Sincerely yours,
A mother in despair

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