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What’s with a$$holes these days??/?/?

  • Posted on August 1, 2010 at 1:24 pm

I have generalized anxiety disorder. I also have emetophobia and depression. Each one of these things FUELS one or both of the other 2.
(use Google or Wikipedia if you don’t know what any of these are.)

So, the problem i am facing is, my fiance’s parents are giving him shit, telling him to ‘get rid of her(me)’ that all i am doing is using him and i am a lazy good for nothing.

The reality is, i panic, a lot. I can’t go to public places very often because of this. i literally can’t breathe and can’t stand up for very long. yes this is serious Yes i have been to a DR. They want to put me on xanax. a highly addictive narcotic.

I, of course, refused that treatment because i have personally known people that have taken Xanax either for a short period, or a long period of time and have had the following:

1.) Major life changes, not always for the better. Mostly personality. The drug seems to make them a completely different person. A lady i knew in my old neighborhood was on xanax for 15 years. before she got on xanax things were going alright (she had mild anxiety, couldn’t ride in a car and became agoraphobic.) till her husband interjected and asked her to go get help. years later, he ended up leaving her several times because “she just wasn’t the same person she used to be… i don’t now what happened (it was the drugs)” He later committed suicide. Some more years later, the same lady ran into financial problems, and was forced to come off her high-dose of xanax too quickly. she had a nervous breakdown and nearly died of heart problems in a rehabilitation facility. I was there at her home with her daughter the day she came home. She was a completely different person. there was a different look in her eyes. She was off the xanax. Her daughter even looked at me and said quietly “She doesn’t look ‘ok’…” The lady then started going off about how her daughter and i had let the house ‘go’ (as in, it was not clean according to her standards, which, it was actually worse before she left. in an effort to make her feel better and have a somewhat different environment when she got home from rehab, i helped her daughter clean up the house and re-arrange and re-decorate.) and cleaning things out of the refrigerator, just random things. yelling, cussing, so on…

I would have never imagined her to be like this, and i had never seen her like this before. it was scary. so i left there, moved away. (not because of her, just because i had to)

now, her daughter tells me frequently that her mother has changed so much. she hates everything and everyone and she doesn’t ever want to be left alone. She is scared to say it, but she almost wants her back on those terrible drugs.

2.) Xanax can kill you if you do not follow directions and abuse it, like 40% of the people who have the prescription for it.

3.) it obviously does not ‘cure’ what ever mental ailment is burdening you. it only masks it for a short while until your body becomes immune to it, causing your DR to raise the dosage….you can see where this is going.

you’re supposed to have therapy of some sort along with these medications to aid in ‘recovery’ That costs money and lots of it. I don’t blame them, i would want to get paid to hear people talk about their lives and help them find a way to solve their problems. The only real problem is the money. I can fight through claustrophobia and sit in a session with a therapist, but i can’t pay for it. Why?

I love to work. I love to help people. i love helping people find solutions to their problems and making them happy. it makes me feel great knowing i have helped someone.

but for 4 years now, i have helped no one. I cannot work around people. soon as someone talks to me, i start feeling it in my throat, my throat closes up and i can’t speak. my chest gets tight and my stomach starts to churn. then i feel immediately as if i will vomit.

how is that going to work at a customer service job? or any job for that matter? Constantly having to excuse myself from work because i am not sure if i am going to throw up or have diarrhea, or just not be able to breathe very well. I know there are jobs that don’t require much customer interaction, i just haven’t found it yet. I have also looked into working from home, which, that’s a complete joke. You can’t work from home unless you have money to start with.

Anyways. my fiance’s parents think i am faking this, and i am a complete joke between them all. (not my fiance)

my question for them is:

Why would i go out of my way to make mine and my future husbands life a miserable hell? (me not working = financial problems = hell.)
Why would i ‘fake’ something like this for 4 FUC KING YEARS, WASTE MY LIFE AND WASTE EVERYONE’S’ TIME.

there is help out there, i just haven’t found it.

any ideas yahoo answers?

sorry so long. If you didn’t read it, don’t reply please. thanks.

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Why can’t his parents get it in their thick skulls damn it!?

  • Posted on July 31, 2010 at 4:26 pm

I have generalized anxiety disorder. I also have emetophobia and depression. Each one of these things FUELS one or both of the other 2.
(use Google or Wikipedia if you don’t know what any of these are.)

So, the problem i am facing is, my fiance’s parents are giving him shit, telling him to ‘get rid of her(me)’ that all i am doing is using him and i am a lazy good for nothing.

The reality is, i panic, a lot. I can’t go to public places very often because of this. i literally can’t breathe and can’t stand up for very long. yes this is serious Yes i have been to a DR. They want to put me on xanax. a highly addictive narcotic.

I, of course, refused that treatment because i have personally known people that have taken Xanax either for a short period, or a long period of time and have had the following:

1.) Major life changes, not always for the better. Mostly personality. The drug seems to make them a completely different person. A lady i knew in my old neighborhood was on xanax for 15 years. before she got on xanax things were going alright (she had mild anxiety, couldn’t ride in a car and became agoraphobic.) till her husband interjected and asked her to go get help. years later, he ended up leaving her several times because “she just wasn’t the same person she used to be… i don’t now what happened (it was the drugs)” He later committed suicide. Some more years later, the same lady ran into financial problems, and was forced to come off her high-dose of xanax too quickly. she had a nervous breakdown and nearly died of heart problems in a rehabilitation facility. I was there at her home with her daughter the day she came home. She was a completely different person. there was a different look in her eyes. She was off the xanax. Her daughter even looked at me and said quietly “She doesn’t look ‘ok’…” The lady then started going off about how her daughter and i had let the house ‘go’ (as in, it was not clean according to her standards, which, it was actually worse before she left. in an effort to make her feel better and have a somewhat different environment when she got home from rehab, i helped her daughter clean up the house and re-arrange and re-decorate.) and cleaning things out of the refrigerator, just random things. yelling, cussing, so on…

I would have never imagined her to be like this, and i had never seen her like this before. it was scary. so i left there, moved away. (not because of her, just because i had to)

now, her daughter tells me frequently that her mother has changed so much. she hates everything and everyone and she doesn’t ever want to be left alone. She is scared to say it, but she almost wants her back on those terrible drugs.

2.) Xanax can kill you if you do not follow directions and abuse it, like 40% of the people who have the prescription for it.

3.) it obviously does not ‘cure’ what ever mental ailment is burdening you. it only masks it for a short while until your body becomes immune to it, causing your DR to raise the dosage….you can see where this is going.

you’re supposed to have therapy of some sort along with these medications to aid in ‘recovery’ That costs money and lots of it. I don’t blame them, i would want to get paid to hear people talk about their lives and help them find a way to solve their problems. The only real problem is the money. I can fight through claustrophobia and sit in a session with a therapist, but i can’t pay for it. Why?

I love to work. I love to help people. i love helping people find solutions to their problems and making them happy. it makes me feel great knowing i have helped someone.

but for 4 years now, i have helped no one. I cannot work around people. soon as someone talks to me, i start feeling it in my throat, my throat closes up and i can’t speak. my chest gets tight and my stomach starts to churn. then i feel immediately as if i will vomit.

how is that going to work at a customer service job? or any job for that matter? Constantly having to excuse myself from work because i am not sure if i am going to throw up or have diarrhea, or just not be able to breathe very well. I know there are jobs that don’t require much customer interaction, i just haven’t found it yet. I have also looked into working from home, which, that’s a complete joke. You can’t work from home unless you have money to start with.

Anyways. my fiance’s parents think i am faking this, and i am a complete joke between them all. (not my fiance)

my question for them is:

Why would i go out of my way to make mine and my future husbands life a miserable hell? (me not working = financial problems = hell.)
Why would i ‘fake’ something like this for 4 FUC KING YEARS, WASTE MY LIFE AND WASTE EVERYONE’S’ TIME.

there is help out there, i just haven’t found it.

any ideas yahoo answers?

sorry so long. If you didn’t read it, don’t reply please. thanks.
Also, i’d like to add that i have taken one xanax before. a .25 mg. the next 6 – 8 hours i felt as if i had no muscles and i was so tired i couldn’t see straight. I need to be able to work in order to pay all the medical bills i am about to endure. Hopefully the next time i go they will prescribe me something else. The last DR insisted on xanax and re-assured me that if i followed directions, nothing bad would happen, and if it did, to let her know.

however, that’s not the point. Xanax really, truly is a life altering drug. I don’t want to be healed if i am going to be a completely different person.
And yes, my fiance loves me, understands me and is here for me. He says he doesn’t care what they say but it gets him soooo mad. I think we will just move to canada. I’ll wait 3 more years (to be a citizen) and have it all taken care of free. WTG OBAMACARE!

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If I leave my 6 year old with my mother is it considered abandonment?

  • Posted on July 30, 2010 at 7:24 pm

My 6 year old is violent. I have sought tones of treatment…believe me I have exhausted my resources. She is physically abusive to her 5 year old sister (who is also adopted, but does not have “issues”). She has punched her in the face, slammed her face into a door frame, stabbed her with a fork, kicked her in the stomach…the list goes on and on. As she gets bigger and stronger I am becoming more and more afraid for my 5 year old daughter’s life. I know she is only 6, but it is SEVERE. She is an adopted child who’s biological mother did crack while pregnant. My 6 year old and my mother do beautifully together. She is very good for her grandmother. If I were to leave her with her grandmother and take my 5 year old away to protect her is it considered abandonment?

Understand, I have EXHAUSTED other resources. I have talked with the school system, worked with psycho therapists, had her on special diets and minerals and vitamins, had her try many various prescription drugs, etc. NOTHING works. “Running away” is a last and desperate resort.
I understand that everyone is concerned about the 6 year old…but what about my 5 year old? She is the one who is constantly neglected because I have to give my full attention and time to the 6 year old. My 6 year old has tried to KILL my 5 year old. She has put her hands around her sisters trhoat on several occasions chocking and shaking her. The last time she did it I physically could not pry her hands off of her sisters throat and had to get a wooden spoon and smack her arm to get her to let go. I fully realize the implications of abandoning a child, but what about the implications of NOT protecting my other daughter? What if she ends up dead? Who is to blame then?

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Have you ever lost a child?

  • Posted on July 29, 2010 at 10:23 pm

This past March I lost my beautiful 34 yr. old son to an accidental drug and alcohol over dose. I am left so empty inside. Some days I am fine, JUST fine. I have a 28 yr. old daughter and 2 beautiful grand daughters whom I babysit for regularly. This does keep me busy, and hopefully my sadness is hidden from them most the time, I am one of those grandma’s who will go out of her way to make sure my grand daughter’s are well taken care of and that they laugh often. My oldest grand daughter, she’s 11, tells her friends that I’m hilarious. That is what I want them to think, even though deep inside I am crying. My son had drug and alcohol problems since he was in his early teens and we’ve watched him struggle with this demon for most his life. He was a fighter and when he was sober would sponsor other addicts and we have recently heard of all the love and devotion he poured out towards those who needed help. He had moved about 3 hours from us when he entered a rehab. facility about a year ago and was doing fantastic,. In Feb. his girlfriend was found dead from an overdose and it devastated him! He called countless times asking us to come and help him, he had already started using again, and we didn’t go to him. I, on my own, had no way to get to him, and we really thought, like times in the past, that he’d go back into treatment, but that never happened. On March 17th he died in his sleep. It was ruled an accidental overdose, but since we’ve found out that he was at a strangers house and someone there fed him a prescription drug while he was extremely intoxicated, to get him to “pass out” so this person could run off with the girl they thought my son was with. It is under investigation now, but I am sickened that not only someone took it upon themselves to feed my son drugs, but that my son found it necessary to reach out to a stranger for help and I didn’t go to him. I am drowning in guilt and pain. Will this ever get better, does anyone know?

http://www.myspace.com/until_we_see_you_again

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Obsessive tendencies – why would a man stay w/ & love a woman who has an imbalance that makes her this way?

  • Posted on July 29, 2010 at 1:23 am

My thyroid was removed 20 yrs. ago; hence, something in my brain tends to hyperfocus on certain details. I am getting treatment for this and aim every day to rise above it. However, it comes out when my boyfriend, who says I am the one, are talking. He has a daughter. Wouldn’t a man be wary of exposing a child to this kind of thought process? One detail – his wife died 7 years ago because she did not talk about her problems and overdosed on prescription drugs. I appreciate your advice and comments! Thank you8.

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30 years ago they had a prescription drug for colic, pink color. Anybody know what it was? Need it for my son?

  • Posted on July 28, 2010 at 4:24 am

My mom was able to get a prescription for colic 30 years ago, she can’t remember what it was, but she swears by it. I had EXTREME colic. I’ve asked doctors they have no idea what was given to my mom. It was clearish pink, could have been anti-gas medicine for all I know. My daughter had colic, she is older, however my son has it now. Any help would be appreciated. And I don’t want to hear about happiest baby on the block book, because I had tried everything w/my daughter, and now son, just like my mom tried everything w/me.

Everything I’ve tried drug wise(not emotional wise):
Gripe Water(given to me by a friend/nurse)
Mylicon
Colic Tablets Hyland
Gripe Water w/completely different ingredients

Just need to know what would have been prescribed 30 years ago. I’m very familiar about non medicated treatments, music, etc, just need the name of the drug.

Thank you

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How do I get my 28 year old daughter to get a life?

  • Posted on July 27, 2010 at 7:25 am

She lost her job, her car, her apartment…and her two sons (8 and 11) are living with my other daughter who just bought a big house and has a great job. She has been living on my sofa, half heartedly looks for a job (dressed like a hootchie so I suspect that is why she can’t get hired) and she abuses prescription drugs ( I had her in a hospital for treatment and they sent her home with more than she went in with). I gave her to June 1 to get out but what will it take for her to pull herself together? Any suggestions how to help her?
jamiecd7—you are so right. she blames the economy for the loss of her job, she blames migraines, sore hips, sore teeth, sore ankle and fibroids for reasons to take more meds then is required (borders on hypocondriac), She blames me for everything (weird since I try to help except by giving her money, I won’t do that because god knows where it will really go) and she is mad at her sister because the boys actually like being there ( I suspect because life with an addict mom is not fun)

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Daughter’s drug addiction ?

  • Posted on July 26, 2010 at 10:23 am

My name is Tracey, I have a 21 year old daughter who is taking prescription pain pills I just don’t know what to do so I will try and tell you as much as I know. two months ago is when we learned that she had been snorting oxycontin so we thought we good help her on our own i looked on the internet on things to do to help with the withdraws did what we had to do she does not live at home so we did not give her anymore money I did by her cigarettes I took her to see a counselor at my school she just went a couple of times. I thought maybe she was doing better she was over at our house took money from her brother, so we new she was still using confronted her says she will stop well than yesterday I went to her apt her and her boyfriend had been fighting he had money come up missing and she is still doing drugs from what I have been able to get out of her she started doing pains pill and smoking pot at age 12 . Me and my husband did not raise her to be like this I know she is a good person we have raised are children is church we do not do drugs,smoke, or drink do not allow it in our home as a parent you think were did I go wrong ,,,,,, she was over to the house yesterday being confronted with everything that she has done I have told her she has to make a choice between her family and the drugs that I think she can not do this on her own, she needs treatment we live in southern Ohio very small town with limited resources, she says I don’t want to go anywhere I will not know anyone. I think part of her wants help the last I talked to her last night things were left up in the air I hung up on her told her she needs to make a decision on what she is going to do she does not have any insurance for treatment my husband is a construction worker. I go to school full time, plus I trying to help my sister out she was just diagnosed with cancer so I have been taking her to her treatments and trying to handle things as best I can but I feel like I’m almost at my breaking point. I think there is also more going on with her I think she is taking other pills to and maybe doing things to get the pills I don’t think she is using needles but I’m afraid if something is not done soon that will be the next thing she will try. Imy husbands family over the last two years there as been drug addition he has two sister’s & a brother who are now serving 5to8 years in prison due to drug trafficking and my daughter tells me that when she was 12 thats when it started was with them, so if you can help me and my family in anyway I would appreciate it. Tracey Smith
thanks for the advise I did email jeff VanVonderon from the show intervention he emailed me back waiting on him to call me back.
tracey

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Connecting and Building Relationships with Parents for Better Outcomes in the Children You Work With

  • Posted on January 25, 2010 at 9:20 pm

It’s well known that when professionals who work with children build strong relationships with parents, better outcomes are often the result. But how do you go about connecting with parents to forge meaningful, long-lasting partnerships? It’s not always obvious or intuitive, even to the best or most experienced professionals.

I’ve been on both sides – both professional and parent. In my days as a high school teacher, invariably my students improved in all kinds of ways when I took the initiative to reach out to their parents. Now, as a mother of a child with special needs, I see the wisdom, and the results, of professionals and practitioners who consider their relationship with parents to be just as important as their relationship with the children who are their patients, students, group members, etc.

Part of what I do is help professionals who work with children to refine and enhance their parent-professional relationship building skills. Here are some tips and strategies you may find helpful:

1.  Great communication is key.
How and when can parents reach you if they have questions? Interestingly, the more available you make yourself for questions and discussion, the more comfortable and confident parents will feel about you and your services.

2.  Offer ways for parents to help out.
Parents are often very grateful to you for the work you’re doing with their sons and daughters. If there are some simple ways they can be of help in your organization, practice, or agency, invite them to become involved.

3.  Invite parents into the classroom.
If you work in a classroom setting, make parents feel welcome to visit. This may be an open invitation, or a list of dates and times parents can choose from. Parents love to visit and see their children in action!

4.  Invite parents into therapy sessions whenever possible.
What they learn from observing you will make it easier for them to follow through at home.

5.  Be open to parent research and ideas.
Parents of children with special needs and special health care needs often do their own research and talk with other parents. They may bring you a copy of a study they found interesting, or they may ask whether a certain type of therapy, treatment, or classroom intervention might be appropriate for their child.

6.  Give parents copies of relevant articles, and recommend books you think they should read.
Even if they don’t read these right away, parents appreciate not only the information you’re giving them, but also the fact that you value their intellectual side.

7.  Don’t be afraid to say “I don’t know.”
As a professional, parents often see you as the expert. Constantly trying to live up to that expectation can be stressful and draining! If a parent asks a question and you aren’t sure of the answer, it’s okay to say you’ll look into it or do some research and then get back to them. Parents will appreciate your thoroughness.

8.  Acknowledge parents’ fears, worries, and hesitations.
Parents of children with special needs often have been through a lot with their children, and may be reluctant to try things that are new or different. Transitions are often difficult as well. You can help them along their learning curve by validating their feelings.

9.  Speak and write about the good stuff, too.
In your conversations with parents, and in your progress notes, always mention the positives. Tell of the child’s strengths, of some nice moments … find SOMETHING positive to say, even if on some days it’s a stretch! Parents of children with special needs are so used to hearing about what’s wrong with their child – they’ll be grateful for your insights into their child’s good points, too!

10.  Be a resource.
Especially for parents who have just received their child’s diagnosis, if you can recommend some local resources for them – such as a support group, organization, or agency, you will be doing those parents a HUGE favor. Often, these parents are too overwhelmed to find these resources on their own.

11.  Ask parents whether they’ve run into any obstacles to implementing your recommendations at home.
If they have, brainstorm with them some possible solutions. Based on your own past experience, as well as experiences of other families you’ve worked with, you may often know of some simple solutions that might not occur to parents. And any time you can help parents find ways to follow through on your recommendations, the result is more successful outcomes for the children you work with.

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How One Can Cope With Baby Blues

  • Posted on January 25, 2010 at 2:21 pm

Postpartum depression, or peripartum depresion occurs after a woman gives birth. Within a few hours of giving birth the amount of the two female hormones, estrogen and progesterone, return to their pre pregnancy levels. Many researchers feel that this drop in hormone levels, much like the smaller changes in hormone levels can affect a womans mood just before her menstrual cycle, is one of the causes of postpartum depression.

In some women the levels of thyroid hormones decrease as well. This decrease in these hormones can lead to symptoms of depression too. Some of these symptoms include a depressed mood, a loss of interest in daily things, problems sleeping and fatigue, irritability and weight gain.

Another factor that can lead to postpartum depression is genetics. This type of depression can be passed down from mother to daughter. There is also a correlation between postpartum depression and women who suffer from severe premenstrual syndrome.

Postpartum depsression is also known as the baby blues and one in ten new mothers suffer from this to one degree or another. In addition to the drastic changes in hormone levels, the presence of a new baby in the house is also a major factor in postpartum depression. A new baby can be a major stress on a new mom and this can factor into becoming depressed. Some of these factors include:

Having less free time then before the baby was born and an inability to control the time needed to get things done. The baby demands all the mothers attention, leaving little time for herself.

Going through labor is extremely stressful and tiring for a new mom. A new mom does not have time to regain her strength post delivery because of the demands and needs of the new baby. Just getting a good nights sleep is nearly impossible with late night feedings and diaper changes.

Many new mothers question their own ability to be a good mom. They become overwhelmed with the care the new baby needs and start to worry that they aren’t providing the care their baby needs.

For new moms, postpartum depression can occur with a feeling that they are no longer who they used to be. Their old schedule and ways of doing things have been replaced by the needs of their new baby. They can also feel like they have to do it all and try to take care of the new baby while doing all the things they used to do. This can be very overwhelming because chances are the care of the new baby will not allow them to accomplish all that they think they should.

New moms can also become disconnected from their partner and family. They find that their time is limited and they just don’t have time to spend with the rest of their family.

For most women the “baby blues” will usually go away as their hormone levels get back to normal. But for some women the depression associated with a new baby does not go away and can steadily get worse. It is very important that women who experince any kind of depression after child birth talk to their doctor right away. Most cases of postpartum depression can be dealt with with medication and some counseling.

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