My brother has been an a55hole all his life.
He attempted suicide aged 13 for attention (I was 12).
Our parents divorced mainly because of it, and because of my Dad’s drinking and affairs.
We moved over 200 miles away in UK and I only got to see my Dad twice a year. (I tried and tried to keep my parents together, but to no avail.
When my brother turned 16 he went back to live with Dad. Our Mum didn’t seem to mind.
He returned to our new home when he was 17, disappointed at Dad’s behaviour.
He met a girl and they married when he was 24. Had a girl and a boy. We did everything aunts and uncles do for their nieces and nephews.
I married my first ever love the following year, aged 24. Had a boy and a girl. My brother did nothing for our children.
We really involved my Dad in his grandchildrens’ lives, but his alcoholism got in the way.
My brother had an affair.
Our mother got married to her long term boyfriend in April 2004.
My brother fell out with his our new step father. My mother turned a blind eye to this.
Our real father became ill, got sclerosis of the liver Christmas 2004 and died March 2005.
My brother didn’t let me scatter Dad’s ashes, but selfishly did that by himself. My brother fell out with me for no reason, like he falls out with everyone. I tried and pleaded with him to make it up with me, especially as we were emigrating and our mother would be in the middle of a stupid rift.
My husband and children and I emigrated to Canada in June 2005.
My mother comes over regularly and we have a good relationship and are wanting to sponsor her out here soon.
My brother has just e-mailed me out of the blue – after not speaking to me for over 4 yrs and wants us to be on speaking terms as it’s his daughter’s 21st and our Mum’s 70th in autumn.
I have been ignored on several occasions by him when I have broached the subject before we emigrated, but now that he wants to reconcile, he thinks I should jump to his command.
I am a big softy, and have only ever wanted there to never be a family rift. As I said earlier, I wanted my parents to stay together.
My brother has been melodramatic all his life and done several soul destroying things.
Now, he wants us all to re-unite but won’t apologize for all his mistakes.
My husband and I and our children were actually going to visit the UK this autumn to see my Mum, without my brother’s interference.
What do you think I should do?
I really need outsiders’ opinions to look at this sorry mess objectionally.
Thank you so much for your time, I am sorry it’s so long.
Yours emotionally,
I always wanted no family rift, but he wouldn’t listen all those years ago and now I feel that I shouldn’t just jump when he wants me to.