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Should I allow my kids, ages 10 and 12, to visit their father who is currently under house-arrest?

  • Posted on March 19, 2011 at 1:22 am

My ex-husband is serving 36 days under house arrest and another 10 in jail for a second drunk-driving charge and a hit & run accident. He wants his regular visitation, which is every other weekend, but I’m hesitant because he shows no remorse for what he’s done wrong and he still seems unstable.
My daughter refuses to spend the night there although she will see him during the day. My son is okay about going. My ex-husband called me today and threatened that I had better not call the courts to check on his driving status. I don’t care what he thinks but I am concerned with sending the kids into such a volatile situation.

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Suggestions for helping to raise step-daughters ages 8 and 11?

  • Posted on July 28, 2010 at 7:22 am

I love my step daughters very much and they love me ;however, their mother is very jealous of me ( I am 11 years younger than her and she was married to my husband for 12 years). The children often say mean things to me that they have heard from their mother. I have been married to their father for 3 1/2 years.My husband attempted to get custody immediately after their divorce and was awarded joint custody;however, their mother has recently been arrested for conspiracy to manufacture amphetamines, so we are trying to get custody again. This has agitated the children because their mother has convinced them that their father had her arrested and is trying to “take them from her”. It is a sad situation.
My step-daughter’s mother is by no means an example. I realize she’s their mom and they will always love and protect her, but at the same time she is hurting them mentally and emotionally in many ways and I am asking how I can help. Also, my husband has never said a bad word about their mother in their presence. We have talked to the girls about our concern for their well-being and ensured them that they will be allowed to see their mother anytime they wish. The woman peels out in my drive-way and has threatend me several times in the children’s presence. I haven’t mastered the art of being the bigger person , but I am pretty darn good. As far as not worrying about how this affects me, I have a two year old daughter with my husband. She idolizes my step-daughters and that is what is causing my concern with the way they talk to me and disobey me. I don’t want my own child to think that behavior is okay.

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