You are currently browsing all posts tagged with 'betrayal'

How do I get past the emotional devastation my mother has imposed on me with her betrayal?

  • Posted on September 9, 2010 at 1:26 am

I am 37 years old with 2 children and one on the way. Let me give you a bit of background…From the age of 12 – 16 my step father sexually abused me…my mother says after 10 years of counselling she was the victim and I am to blame ( she says I should not have worn bikinis to turn him on!!) It took years to get over but I did…with the help of drugs.( A couple of years ago I fell into a drug addiction (stupid…not proud) with Ecstasy.) I used it as a psychotherapy tool to release the hurt from my past but when it became a problem quickly got off!!! I told my mother at the time about my problem with Ecstasy hoping for support but instead was told I was the worst mother in the world. I never used around my kids…only when they were at Dad;s (joint custody). Oh yeah she told me I was a failure too when I left the Dad even though that had been the plan for 5 years. (He slept on the couch for 5 years straight!!!) I got married 2 years ago and just finished a 2 year Architectural Interior Design program.My husband and I had gotten clean, he got a great job, I got an education and we have a gorgeous house. My ex had been demanding for 6 months I give him joint custody and every second weekend off in the same breath or he would go to child services about my past drug use. I told him to go ahead. He had his girlfriend call me with the same threat. I told her to fuck off. In june I had a friend tell me my mother and my ex were going to try to take my kids away and put me in rehab. (My mother assumed I was still on drugs because I told her I had taken Jesus into my heart.) The day I finished school they called child services saying I was a drug addict, abused alcohol in front of the kids, emotionally abused my daughter and had mental health issues. None of these were true!!!! Child services bamboozled me into signing a “safety plan” while they “investigated” and then helped the ex get an ex parte granting him temporary sole custody. Child services had proof of 4 clean drug tests, 2 psychiatric evals saying Post traumatic stress disorder due to the sexual abuse and lots of letters validating my character (even one from my daughter’s teacher). The child protection worker lied to me repeatedly and lied to the judge on stand about many issues. I lost custody. The children are now pretty much home but I still don’t have custody returned. I find it appalling that child services, my ex and my mother would put my children and myself through such hell!!! I am now 25 weeks pregnant and have no intention of speaking to my mother ever again or letting her meet her third grandchild. I am left reeling that they would do this to our lives when we had made such great strides to make it. Any suggestions on how to get over the loss and pain and feelings of betrayal and abandonment?

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If you want a happier, more fulfilling life, let go of unhealthy relationships

  • Posted on July 2, 2009 at 7:15 am

Have you ever felt drained after being around a certain person? Maybe you feel like you’re walking on eggshells trying to cater to their ever-changing mood. Or for the most part, you have to go out of your way to explain your actions to them so they can understand your good intentions. Maybe they say they understand how you feel, but yet, their actions are contradicting. Whether or not their behavior is deliberate, bottom line is: you feel drained when you have to deal with them. Could it be that this relationship requires more care and maintenance than you’re prepared to give?

People with whom you surround yourself can make you, or break you. You may have been led to believe that the longer the friendship, the better the friend. Yet, that’s not always the case. Yes, some friendships can be like fine wine—growing in richness with time—but some, just aren’t meant to have a very long shelf life.

Recognize that regardless of how long you’ve been together, if it’s an unhealthy relationship, it can be a kind of toxic in your life; it can be a roadblock in your life preventing you from moving ahead to where you want to go. And if you allow it to continue, your mood will suffer in a way that not only sacrifices your own well-being, but also the well-being of others around you.

It can be hard to part ways with a friend or a partner, even when their behavior warrants it. While betrayal or seemingly deliberate attempts to be hurtful are clear signals that it’s time to move on, sometimes the signal of the end of a relationship isn’t that obvious. Furthermore, sometimes an unhealthy relationship can brew from two people who truly want to be kind to one another, but somehow along the way, they ended up on different pages; they don’t agree with each other, and tension rises. This can be just as unhealthy. So what do you do? I guess this is where you have to use your better judgement.

If after a fair amount of consideration, you feel strongly about maintaining a relationship with this person, then be assertive and communicate honestly with them about what is working and not working for you in the relationship. Give it your all and kindly speak your truth, and allow them to do the same. And after this, if you still don’t see any progress, at least you know you did your best and you wouldn’t have left much room for regrets with “I should have” or “I could have.”

Leaving behind an unhealthy relationship is one of the best things you can do for your well-being, as you make room for more positive, nurturing people to enter your life. As they say: When one door closes, only then can another door open.

In life, we’ll all inevitably experience unhealthy relationships that challenge our minds and hearts so we can learn and grow. So learn from it, grow from it. But recognize when it is time to say goodbye. As you move forward in life, continue to give that which you seek. If you want relationships that enhance your life, help you to be your best, and encourage your dreams, then, offer this kind of friendship to another person. You’ll get out of life what you put into it…always.

From her columns to her blog, Penny continues to capture the hearts of her readers with exhilarating insight and inspiring wisdom. Her blog offers tips, advice and inspiration on everything to do with relationships. Let this site be a place you go to for some insight to inspire healthier, happier relationships in your life. http://www.relationshipadvicefrompenny.com

Article Source: If you want a happier, more fulfilling life, let go of unhealthy relationships

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Of Babies and Bathwater

  • Posted on July 1, 2009 at 10:12 pm

The number of spiritual teachers and teachings is staggering. Close to half of the spiritual books, are fiction. Many are selling some brand of blamour and yet most have an underlying core, of similar basic truths. The trick is how to separate the wheat from the chaff, the baby from the bathwater, and find the proverbial needle in the haystack.

Having utilized muscle testing for 20 years as an integral part of my healing practice, as well as every other aspect of my life, it was relatively easy for me to integrate David Hawkins’ interpretation of the “Levels of Consciousness” as a valid and now indispensible tool in my understanding of reality.

There is a video about a well known enlightened teacher who is now departed. The narrator did a wonderful job of explaining some seemingly cryptic words spoken by this teacher. At the very end there was one quote which although visually displayed in its entirety, was truncated in quoting by the narrator. This gave a totally different meaning from the original statement. It also had the effect of perverting the essence of a true spiritual teaching.

Someone else, who had also spent much time with this teacher and had himself transcended linear reality to a high level of consciousness, and perhaps was the source of that self-serving misinterpretation, used it to justify a non-integrous action. That action in a person of lower consciousness might be considered a slip; in that particular enlightened being, the consequence was a “fall from grace”. A student, who was present at the time, reported a deep wounding and sense of betrayal, for himself as well as many of his fellow students.

Over the years I have wandered from one teacher and teaching to another in search of truth and healing. Many were the times when something lured me, only to show up as less than advertised. As a reaction, I let go of many healing practices, which contained elements which did not sit well. As I began to surrender my anger and judgments of these teachers, certain insights resurfaced in a new light. In my surrender I was shown the essence of truth which underlay the distortions and also a much higher option in utilizing these revelations.

My time spent teaching for what became a cult-like organization, gave me a deeper perspective on entities and their various forms and nuances. Some of the observations about human behavior are very astute while some explanations appear to be nothing more than glamour with the effect of hooking people into specialness, all the while denying that hook. Using muscle testing, to show me where the line between truth and falsehood lies, I am benefitting greatly from my past experiences.

The practice of soul retrieval has been a great gift to the therapy community. Traditionally, the healer is the one who journeys to find the fragment, often going into lower realms and then relating the story; with luck triggering an integration of the fragment back into the recipient. If instead of using one’s intuition to retrieve the fragment, one were to use it, with muscle testing as a confirmation, to guide the client into a retrieval and self integration, the experience can be much more empowering, truthful and consciously expansive. One can take a giant leap forward by turning the whole process into a prayerful request, invoking an even greater power. By using the same principal as the 12-step programs, surrendering one’s own personal will to a higher power (God, Divinity, etc.) the healer and the client can step out of self-importance and invite the highest expression of Divinity to come forth in assistance. It is tapping into the levels of consciousness, which makes these programs successful, where all else failed.

I readily admit that it has taken me some time to let go of the negative energy I carried about some of my past journeys. A lot of it was tied up in the hurt and resulting judgments I carried, from betrayals of spiritual trust on the part of the various leaders. Often the betrayal is hidden and when it is exposed, can prove devastating to an innocent aspirant. Even those experiences, over the course of time, have a positive aspect. I now have the memories of those traits as examples of what I choose not to be. They are indelible markers as to the boundaries of the straight and narrow path of integrity and consciousness.

David Lowell has been working with energy and healing for 30 years. He aintains a professional consulting practice, both in person and by phone, on a global level, for 19 years. He is the author of “The Struggle to Surrender: Love, Consciousness & The Quantum Field” and publishes “Perspectives” an irregular free Ezine. To see more articles by David and find out about his work go to =>
http://davidlowell.com/

Article Source: Of Babies and Bathwater

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