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Does my friend love me? Or have I blown it?

  • Posted on October 24, 2010 at 7:25 am

Personally, I do not need men answer this question, I am asking the ladies out there for their opinions on this subject. In the past I have done som things involving girls that I am not exactly proud of, did not believe in cheating on girls, but also really the feelings for any either. I would say I fell between a nice guy and a player towards women, although I am a Marine and Martial Artist of 13 years. I was in Iraq, and when I met this girl, despite her stunning beauty, I was not interested in her for any other reason than a business relationship, at best a friendship. The nature of our job meant we were constantly around each other, so naturally, we developed a friendship, ok, that happened, and I woud soon be breaking about every man law. She was having a hard time with her life, I was having extreme depression from what I saw in Iraq; she at times would even cry to me about her life. I was still cool with just being friends at this point. It was like if you have seen that show TruBlood when the black girl explains how we all dream of the person we can share everything with, that is how we started as friends, typically you do not even get that in a serious relationship. We both stood by each other through hard times, she even remained my friend after saying some nasty shit to her. She would often come over and stay late, just talking all night, until I would take her home, sometimes to a guy she might be seeing. The first chance I missed was when she slept next to me on the couch, with our heads touching, weird right?, but nothing more. I started to slightly have feelins, but given her past and troubles, and me not being in the right mind frame, I did nothing. The first time I knew there was more was one night we she kept calling me during my job asking if I was ok, over and over, she was slightly intoxicated, but not to bad. She even told me she loved me at one point, and then called me a name she used to call the only guy she was ever serious with. That night I took her to the guy she was seeing, but she hated, she just felt trapped. she did not want to go in and grabbed my hand and told me several times that she really loved me. She was slightly drunk, I was sober and I froze at what she said. I did not know how to respond, but I knew then I loved her too, I don’t know, it froze me and shook me. Any other time in a car under those circumstances, the girl would have definetely been mine, but I was caught off guard because that night I fell for her. It took me over a week to respond and give her those words back. That chance though slipped through my hands. We even went on a vacation together in NC, where we each said I LOVE YOU Again, but once again I froze. We even slept in the same bed one night and I did nothing. I broke about every man law possible with her, but I do not know, I guess I was scared. As a man I know I needed to make the move, I fucked up several times because I just was not in the right mindframe to not be shaken by it all. She even while down there on our last night grabbed my hand in the classic jointing the fingers fashion and was all over me at the club, even grabbed me to say lets go, I knew I had her, but as bad luck would have it, she passed out on the ride back to the room. Shit, I am 24 years old and feel like a child about all this, breaking my pride to even be writing this. She was single all summer and I did nothing and now she has a boyfriend and and I am filled with questions and regret regarding my lack of action. The funny thing is, we do more now than ever. Jusr a week ago she invites me to a bar with her mom who I had never even formally met up to that point, and then after that we ate at a TeeJays and her mom said you really like my daughter don’t you? I said yes, very much so. She then said I would love my daughter to be with you because I know you really care about her, I had never met the woman so knew that meant the girl I am referring to talked about me. She is even planning a trip to Vegas with me,, not her boyfriend when she turns 21 next September. What has made the situation so unusual and hard to move forward is we learned all the bad about each other first, and then started to see all the good in each other. I have a couple of questions to you ladies, because a guy cannot answer this and I have enough womanizer friends to give about any guy answer I could ever hear. I wrote this and the situations as honestly as they happened. First, does it seem as though she cares about me far more than as a friend? Second, have I blown it with her and have I stuck myself in that cycle of only being a friend? Finally, if you think the feelings are there with her too, how do I break that cycle so we can become more? I just know she amazing, and I have never trusted a girl in my life outside of family, and she does not trust many guys, but we trust each other and have said that many times. What should I do because it seems more real than any relationship I have ever

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