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My boss fired me for making out with his 14-year-old daughter at the company Christmas party?

  • Posted on February 3, 2011 at 1:23 am

It’s totally unfair! Long story short, I got pretty intoxicated and ended up making out with my manager’s 14-year-old daughter at the Christmas party on Friday.

Can he really fire me out of his own personal vindictiveness? I’ve always been an excellent employee and this matter barely even relates to the office. Plus, I was extremely drunk at the time (which should somewhat excuse my behavior) and his daughter was the one who came onto me in the first place. Shouldn’t she shoulder some of the blame?

How can I convince him that he’s overreacting and get my job back?

Thanks and God bless.

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Should I tell boss about his daughter taking her one yr old to a bar and got drunk?

  • Posted on January 2, 2010 at 8:36 am

She is a single parent and has a history of drinking and driving. They have no idea this happened.

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Twelve Signs You Are Not Listening

  • Posted on July 1, 2009 at 10:12 pm

It is difficult to listen to the chatter of our self-talk in our head and effectively listen to someone else at the same time. If we are concentrating on other things, re-playing past conversations, rehearsing what we are going to say next, getting defensive, judging what the other person is saying, trying to read their mind or day dreaming, then we are being fully present and listening completely to what the other person is saying. This is when miscommunication can result in conflicts, frustration, hurt feelings, resentment, misinformation, money loss, relationship loss or job loss. Simply said, you can not listen to two people at the same time, yourself and someone else. Do you think you are a good listener? Take a look at the scenariors below and see how you rate.

1. You are rehearsing what you want to say.

2. You are thinking that I don’t have time to listen to her.

3. You are planning what you are going to do this weekend.

4. You are feeling defensive and want to fight back.

5. You are thinking how much your boss sounds like your father.

6. You are anxious to find out how the show you have been watching is going to end.

7. You are worried that you will miss your bus.

8. You are gazing out the window at the beautiful, sunny day and wish you were outside.

9. You remember having this same conversation with your wife many times before.

10. You interrupt him and start telling him what to do.

11. You are thinking, “How can he be saying that, he doesn’t know what he is talking about.”

12. You keep telling yourself that your sister doesn’t really mean what she is saying.

Do you want to improve your communication and listening skills? My newly released book, If I Could Just Get Out of My Own Head: A No-Nonsense Guide to Communicating Effectively, can help. This book offers concrete and practical skills for quieting the chatter in your head so that you can be present and participate fully in all your conversations and also outlines the three building blocks to clear communication. Visit http://www.barbsmallcoaching.com for more details.

Article Source: Twelve Signs You Are Not Listening

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Twelve Signs That You Are Not Communicating Effectively

  • Posted on July 1, 2009 at 10:12 pm

1. Your brother’s eyes glaze over when you start complaining about your mother again.

2. You meet your friend for lunch at 1:30, but she has been waiting for you since 1:00 when she thought you were supposed to meet.

3. You have been rambling on and on to the customer service clerk, but you have yet to say how you want your problem fixed.

4. You keep reminding your wife about past arguments, but you have not said what is bothering you right now.

5. You explained to your co-worker what needs to be done today and she is looking completely confused.

6. Your sister seems surprised that you had bought tickets for both of you to go to the concert. She thought you had decided not to go.

7. You are angry at your husband and start yelling at him and calling him an idiot and useless.

8. You just keep repeating your question even though your daughter looks confused.

9. You stop your boss in the hall as she is rushing off to an important meeting to talk to her about your vacation.

10. You are explaining to your friend what you are upset about, but when she asks questions you keep saying, “You know what I mean”.

11. Every time your sister tells you about how unhappy she is in her marriage, you tell her all about how miserable you are as well.

12. You start talking to your husband while he is still on the phone.

Do you want to improve your communication and listening skills? My newly released book, If I Could Just Get Out of My Own Head: A No-Nonsense Guide to Communicating Effectively, can help. This book offers concrete and practical skills for quieting the chatter in your head so that you can be present and participate fully in all your conversations and also outlines the three building blocks to clear communication. Visit http://www.barbsmallcoaching.com for more details.

Article Source: Twelve Signs That You Are Not Communicating Effectively

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Set Your Intentions for an Incredible Year!

  • Posted on July 1, 2009 at 9:05 pm

What kind of year will this be for you? I’ve already decided I’ll help more people live abundantly this year than ever before. Have you taken the time to set your intentions for the year yet?

My clients are constantly amazed at the results they get by simply setting their intentions each week. It’s so powerful because it allows them to see the many resources and opportunities the Universe provides to help them live those intentions. In fact, in the words of Sandy Forster, “When you set an intention, when you commit, the entire Universe conspires to make it happen.”

What would you like your year to be like? What needs to happen so you can look back and say, “Now, that was an incredible year!” What would need to happen in each area of your life — Relationships, Career, Health, Money, Spirituality, and Personal Development?

If you follow these three guidelines as you set your intentions, you are on your way to achieving them!

Make sure you’re passionate about your goals. Often, when people struggle to meet their goals, the real issue is that their goals simply aren’t very meaningful to them. They are the “shoulds” that people pick up from others in their life – their parents, their boss, or their friends, for example. The problem with setting goals based on what others want for you is that those others often don’t know your mission. Only you’ve been given that. So as you set your goals, ask yourself: How will this intention help me achieve my purpose on this planet?”

Share them. In the words of Deepak Chopra, “Intentions compressed into words enfold magical power.” In one of my Abundance Power groups, each group member shared their highest visions of themselves while the rest of the group simply felt the energy of that person’s vision. It was an incredibly powerful experience for all, and those group members are truly becoming what they envisioned!

It’s so important to share your intentions with others, in a way that they can see, and feel them. This makes them more real for you, and it allows you to be in the right vibration for creating or attracting what you need to achieve them. Share them with your coach, your mastermind group, a friend, or your partner.

Revisit them regularly. Plan to review your 2009 intentions on a monthly or quarterly basis. Celebrate what you’ve accomplished so far! And make sure that those intentions still make sense for you. Don’t be afraid to change something you’ve decided does not help you achieve your vision. By revisiting your intentions regularly, you’ll stay on track and have an excuse to celebrate everything you’re doing right to meet them!

Take some time this week to set your intentions for the coming year. Be sure to include all six areas of your life (Relationships, Career, Health, Money, Spirituality, and Personal Development). Measure your intentions against your higher purpose – the reason that you are here on Earth. Share them with someone you trust. And remember to review them on a regular basis!

You are on your way to an incredible year!

Create the happy, healthy, and abundant life you deserve! Receive your complimentary subscription to Debbie’s biweekly IdealLife Lessons Newsletter at http:/www.ideallifecoach.com. Debbie Delgado is on a mission to help women create lives they love! She’s an IPEC Certified Empowerment Coach and owner of IdealLife Coach, providing private coaching, Abundance Group coaching, and workshops.

Article Source: Set Your Intentions for an Incredible Year!

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Ways You Can Increase Workplace Motivation

  • Posted on July 1, 2009 at 9:04 pm

When it comes to the office, most people have the attitude: I just have to be here; I don’t want to be here. That negative attitude is clearly going to impact the quality of work that comes out of the office. You can’t make people who feel that way perform to their highest levels. The good news is there are ways to improve workplace motivation and to prevent this type of problem. Here are a few strategies:

Give Sincere Feedback

Too often, workplaces are sources of useless or nonexistent feedback. At one extreme, you may have a boss who demands a lot but offers no praise or commentary for a job well done. At the other end, you may have a boss who always says everything is wonderful and makes no distinction between quality work and drivel. Neither extreme is going to be effective workplace motivation.

Good feedback is sincere. When you see someone go above and beyond your expectations, you let them know. When someone provides excellent work, you tell them out. On the other hand, you also have to give constructive criticism from time to time. No one is going to be perfect and ignoring errors doesn’t make them work better it just makes them work oblivious to their errors.

Appreciate the Effort

No one wants to push themselves for a boss who doesn’t care. If you demand that your employees stay late to meet a deadline or come in on the weekends, let them know you appreciate their commitment to the company and to you. You might even want to order out for pizza or bring in doughnuts as a token of your gratitude. And don’t forget to show appreciation for things individual employees do as well. Knowing you care about what the staff is doing will improve workplace motivation enormously.

Model Behavior

Have you ever worked in an office that supposedly valued punctuality but the boss or the higher level managers always came into work whenever the mood struck? If so, you know the horrendous effect this behavior has on workplace motivation. Double standards in the office are rarely going to be praised by the rest of the staff. If you want your staff to act a certain way or live up to specific expectations, you need to model what you want. That’s the only way you’re going to get it.

Care about Others

The easiest way to improve workplace motivation is to legitimately care about your employees. If you just think of them as nameless faces slaving away under your command, chances are they’ve already picked up on your attitude and don’t care much for doing what you want. But when you do know their names, remember their birthdays, ask about specific projects they’re working on, and even say cheesy lines like “Say hi to Bob and the kids for me” at the end of the day, you will be improving their motivation.

Victor Ghebre is the editor of http://www.settinggoals101.com where you get practical tips and information on goal setting, motivation, leadership and more.

Visit http://www.settinggoals101.com/self-motivation-skills.html to learn how
to set yourself up for success and get free tips on how to effectively
stay motivated.

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Article Source: Ways You Can Increase Workplace Motivation

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Transactional Analysis and Ego States

  • Posted on July 1, 2009 at 7:56 pm

Eric Berne, the founder of Transactional Analysis developed the PAC model, the three ego states, Parent, Adult and Child. These are a mixture of behaviours, thoughts and feelings.

The Parent ego state, or exteropsyche – is a state in which people think and behave like their own parental figures did in their childhood. When in the Parent ego state people will often tell you “You are not allowed to do that”, or “This is not good!”. The Parent ego state can be Nurturing (supportive) or Critical.

The Adult ego state, or neopsyche – this is our internal computer. It is always rational, willing to find out more, analyzing everything, etc.

The Child ego state, or archaeopsyche – this is a state in which people behave, feel and think similarly to how they did in childhood. Like the Parent ego state, the Child also has two sub divisions: Adapted Child and Free Child. The Adapted Child will adapt to almost everything in order to get accepted. The Free Child is the one who is having fun, enjoying life, playing, telling jokes, etc.

Each of us are using all of these ego states. We are switching between them all the time but most of us love to use one of them especially. For instance if your boss is telling you “You will stay here until you finish this project” if you prefer the Adapted Child you will say “OK boss!”. If you like the Adult more you will reply “Why is it so important to finish it right now?”. If you like the Parent more you will reply “You are not supposed to be so rude!”. The Free Child would say “Yes boss”, and after 5 minutes he is out with his friends doing something funny.

Read more on Transactional Analysis and other psychology related articles.

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