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A long question about if I should call DOCS 11 year old girl. Sorry it is about confusing?

  • Posted on April 18, 2011 at 7:21 am

OK so my client jessica comes in every week and she has been with her boyfriend for 3 years, he had a daughter to his old girlfriend and after they split up the mother ended up dieing of a heroin overdose. When the mother died the girl went to live with the mothers boyfriend at the time (not her father). DOCS ended up being called becaus he was mistreating the girl not feeding her and would hardly give her anything to dirnk and use to make her stand against a wall all day.

Dos ended up taking the girl of him and too his to live with Jessica and the girls biological father.

Jessica is always coming in complaining “Oh I hate that little bitch”, i feel like crying. She will constantly tell me about how if her and the boyfriend have a fight she will go into the girls room and break all her toys and trash her room.

Jessica and her boyfriend (the girls father) will go out on the weekend and smoke ice and take a mixture of other drugs, If they are not at home smoking it inside (even thought the girl is in the next room) they willl take him to a neighbours house for the night who they dont even know from a bar of soap.

I am sure the girl is well fed and she is going to school. I just feel terrible the things that Jessica tells me and how the smoke ice while the girl is in the house and they leave drugs lying around all the time.

I have a 2 year old and she will still come in say “I dont know why anyone has kids they are horrible I cant stand them, they always get in the way you can never do anything or go anywhere”

Maybe I am over reacting.
What do you think?

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My child is at her mom’s 5 days a week living with her family who uses and deals drugs. Should I call DCF?

  • Posted on November 11, 2010 at 3:40 pm

There are 4 people in the house using drugs ranging from pot to oxycontin. Three are adults and one is a minor. I have seen them using many times, and have been seen large bags of pills laying around. I’m worried my daughter could find one. She is a crawler. I don’t think her mom is using, but I am worried about her family around the baby. One of the adults has been convicted of drug charges before. They also have guns around the house. Should I call DCF to report so they stop using. I have already raised the concern to my ex, but she says its got to be this way for now. I am worried it will start a war between us and she will try and prevent me from seeing my baby girl.
Do I need solid proof of them using? Or will my concern cause them to be drug tested. Also these people know how to pass a drug test. The father has done it for a job test before. Thanks
My ex has her own paid off house left to her by inheritance that she chooses not to occupy. She says she lives with her family to have help with the baby when she needs it, and because it is close to her job. I don’t think she sees their behavior as very abnormal because when I met her she was doing the same things, which I got her to stop.

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My child is at her mom’s 5 days a week living with her family who uses and deals drugs. Should I call DCF?

  • Posted on September 21, 2010 at 7:20 am

There are 4 people in the house using drugs ranging from pot to oxycontin. Three are adults and one is a minor. I have seen them using many times, and have been seen large bags of pills laying around. I’m worried my daughter could find one. She is a crawler. I don’t think her mom is using, but I am worried about her family around the baby. One of the adults has been convicted of drug charges before. They also have guns around the house. Should I call DCF to report so they stop using. I have already raised the concern to my ex, but she says its got to be this way for now. I am worried it will start a war between us and she will try and prevent me from seeing my baby girl.
Do I need solid proof of them using? Or will my concern cause them to be drug tested. Also these people know how to pass a drug test. The father has done it for a job test before. Thanks
My ex has her own paid off house left to her by inheritance that she chooses not to occupy. She says she lives with her family to have help with the baby when she needs it, and because it is close to her job. I don’t think she sees their behavior as very abnormal because when I met her she was doing the same things, which I got her to stop.

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How can I get my daughter to call me?

  • Posted on September 3, 2010 at 7:22 pm

She’s online and isn’t answering her email and the cell phone is not on. Maybe she’ll see this since she seems to be addicted to yahoo answers!

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Has anyone who was on the Carnival Ecstasy 4/27 cruise filed a complaint? Call 1 800 227 6482 ext 70024?

  • Posted on August 9, 2010 at 10:23 am

We departed out of Galveston on the Ecstasy with Carnival Cruise Lines on Monday “after the President stated that we are advised not to travel to Mexico.” So we called Carnival (as late as 2pm the day we boarded and asked if all was going to be as planned and they said the Captain of our ship has been advised and that we were STILL going to our port of calls. We get on the ship and no communications are made except the Captain is in meetings and will advise us shortly. 2 days into the cruise we are in the Gulf going to nowhere. We made no stops and still no communications except that they were going to refund our port of call fees $40….wooo wooooo! One couple on the ship MISSED their daughter’s wedding!!! They were meeting her in Cozumel!!

So, have you heard the sayings.. “A CRUISE TO NOWHERE”?? That is exactly what cruise we where on. We came back a day early(Which is SUSPICIOUS, WE were told there was a medical emergency but the Ship DESTINY ALSO had to come back a day early??? Two medical emergencies??? RIGHT! (NO WAY!) Do they think we are THAT stupid!!! So anyway… duty free shopping, casinos etc closed. 1/2 the people on the ship got off so no parties…just a lame show, the clubs etc were empty. Basically we paid for a 5 day cruise WITH port calls and got a 4 day cruise with no port calls. The moral on the ship was totally different that the first cruise we took in 2006. It affected not only the cruisers but the staff as well…they were overworked due to having everyone on the ship the entire time. So FUN SHIP? I don’t think they quite pulled it off this cruise. (I do want to thank the staff who tried to do their best considering they were dealing with very unhappy customers!)

Hello Carnival…ever hear of the internet? People have a way of sharing information no so at least BE HONEST!

What should we do or what can we do to get our money back? There was talk of Class Action Law Suits etc. Anyone with info please post here or email me. They should compensate in some way. They should have been honest with us from day one and gave us a choice of getting on the cruise to NO WHERE or getting a refund or let us reschedule for a later date…instead they took our money and basically held us hostage for 4 days.

Here is a number I called and got to file a complaint but they said I had to wait until Monday. Everyone on that cruise should call…1 800 227 6482 ext 70024

Unless they make this right …this will be the last carnival cruise I make.
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If someone threatens suicide, can you call the police?

  • Posted on July 25, 2010 at 1:46 pm

I’m wondering – the person in question lives at her mothers and has a 5 year old daughter. After a series of alcoholism related problems she is now threatening suicide if we have a lawyer file papers to remove her daughter from her custody. She was just released from the hospital today for an alcohol overdose. The dr.’s release info says she needs to seek psychiatric help.

If her mom calls the police based on her threat of suicide will they keep her on a 24-28 hour psych hold?

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A Caregiver’s Manual for Being Prepared for That Call in the Night

  • Posted on January 12, 2010 at 11:24 am

For the last 20 years, I have helped clients plan for their “golden years”, including how they will address the issues of aging and remaining independent. And now I am personally experiencing it myself; I am the Designated Daughter with my own parents. Because my parents and I had “the important conversations” and did the proper planning, I was prepared when I received that ‘Call in the Night’. Part of creating the life of your dreams is making sure you address all the “what ifs” in your life. Skipping this step could create unpleasant complications that might be avoided. Our parents and loved ones are living longer and we need to know how this may affect our lives and be prepared with a plan. Take a look at these statistics:

When Social Security, Medicare & Medicaid were designed, life expectancy was 63. Our fastest growing population is age 85 plus and 50% may have some form of      Alzheimer’s. By 2030, 70 million people in the US, or 1-in-5 people, will be age 65. Another 1 million people will be 100 years old. The need for healthcare and related services is exploding!

According to USA Today:

60% of US caregivers are female 66% are married or living with a partner 45 is the average age of US caregivers 77 is the average age of the care recipient 41% of caregivers have children under the age of 18 at home 52% of caregivers are employed full time

Learn how to be prepared, how to talk to your parents or loved ones, what you and they should do to make sure your lives continue to run smoothly and how to avoid costly mistakes.

Step One ~ Get Organized!

You’ll need to gather together the following: One filing cabinet, complete with hanging file and manila folders; a copy of all important documents; a large three-ring binder with big tab dividers; and a colored marker.

Use the binder to store copies of important documents. Label the document title on the tab divider. This will come in handy should you need to transport documents. Using your marker, write on the back of each document where the original is stored (i.e. Will stored in safe deposit box and son John has the key.) Have a section on beneficiaries that lists all documents with appointed beneficiaries. Always keep this section current.

Next, organize your file cabinet. If you don’t want to store original documents in your file cabinet, note the original’s location in the appropriate file. Create the following titles for your hanging files and store items under each category in labeled manila folders.

Important Information

Location of safe deposit box and key Passwords for debit card, online accounts, computer, and voicemail Armed forces documents Birth and marriage certificates Names and phone numbers of your attorney, CPA, financial planner, broker, and insurance agents Copy of tax returns and winter/summer tax assessments Copy of Social Security Estimate Statement

Legal Planning

Copy of will and trusts Copy of life and unemployment insurance policies Durable Power of Attorney (DPOA) documents Prepaid funeral and burial arrangements/plan for pet relocation and expenses.

Banking/Investments

Copy of each credit card with contact phone number Divide out by financial institution a copy of bank statements, brokerage accounts, annuities, IRA’s, stock/bond certificates, and dividend reinvestment plans (DRIP) Copy of retirement plans and investment real estate documents Copy of “Survivor’s” Pension Benefit (what will surviving spouse receive after the retiree dies?)

Medical

Name and phone numbers of physicians, dentist, and pharmacy (list prescriptions) Copy of medical insurance card and benefits guidebook Long term care and disability insurance policies Patient Advocate Designation document. Give primary care physician a copy Copy of Medicare card and account number

Household

Copy of home deed, homeowners insurance (umbrella policies) Copy of mortgage and home equity loan statements Copy of auto title, loan/lease, and insurance documents Copy of statements for gas, electric, water, waste management, telephones, etc. Home maintenance file to include repair receipts, phone number of repairmen, warrantees, and appliance insurance.

Step Two ~ Discovery

Your documentation is organized. Breathe a sigh of relief! Next, you’ll need to have a series of important conversations with your loved one and other family members including:

What do they think they want for their long term care? What are their needs as they are aging and who can provide it? How do they want to handle their money and property as their lifestyle changes? What kind of legacy do they want to create for themselves?

All of this may take a number of conversations. Try asking if you can talk about these things in general terms because you are doing your own future planning for college savings or retirement. Ask for their help to assess their situation and welcome their input on solutions. Role play a bit… Try talking about how they would feel if they had to make these decisions for you instead? Ask what their friends are doing about these types of things? Patience is key here! The most important thing is to really take a look with them at their values, lifestyle and spiritual picture as they ultimately have to “own” the solutions.

Next, you’re ready to select the individuals you want on the caregiving team. Include any that apply: family members, doctors, home care specialist, attorney, certified elder law specialists, insurance agents, brokers, CPA, caregivers, certified financial planner, therapist, etc. Many of these professionals are trained to help families deal with health, financial, and social issues in a holistic way.

Step Three ~ Create a Financial Plan

Sit down with a certified financial planner and develop a financial plan that addresses the following:

Financial Position:

Create a cash flow statement which breaks down income and expenses. Determine your net worth by listing assets and liabilities.

Income Taxes:

Review tax situation for capital gains/losses with real estate or stocks. Discuss inherited IRA status vs. pension /profit sharing plans.

Investments:

Analyze investments for quality, safety, income needs, tax situation, etc. Are investments manageable, properly diversified, or all over the place?

Retirement:

Establish amount of assets necessary to meet your lifetime income needs. Project retirement income needs in several situations (i.e. home care/assisted living, utilizing long-term care insurance benefits if applicable.

Estate:

Review documents and analyze current estate plan. Verify beneficiaries on life insurance, annuities, retirement plans, & 401K Decide what you need and desire for financial independence. How much will you leave for a family legacy? How will you allocate your social legacy regarding gift and tax?

Protection:

Assess cash flow projections and alternate scenarios regarding disability, long-term care, and premature death.

Step Four ~ Meet with Your Team and Create a Plan

Now that you’ve got everything in place, sit down with your caregiving team members and develop a plan of action that satisfies your loved ones’ goals, values, and objectives. The final product should enable you all to maintain your dignity, lifestyle, and assets. In addition, the plan should be clear, concise, easy to manage, and tax efficient. It should also acknowledge the needs of whoever becomes the main caregiver.

The benefits of early planning are numerous, including:

clarifying your loved ones wishes identifying the best possible resources minimizing confusion and stress during times of crisis increasing overall peace of mind

The end result…everyone involved is able to sleep at night knowing all concerns have been addressed and that a team and a plan is in place to accommodate all those “what ifs.”

Source: Working with Seniors Health, Financial and Social Issues, 2003

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Wake Up Call!!

  • Posted on January 6, 2010 at 4:08 pm

Wake Up Call!!

Many times you must have come across to such students who want to go for higher education. Some students go for higher education because his girlfriend is going, vice-versa, and some are going because their parents are compelling and most interesting some are going because they do not know what to do. Basically, these are the students who do not know themselves well and do not realize their hidden potential. These kinds of people waste their unrecoverable time and put blame either to god or circumstances. I do not understand one thing why these people tell lie to themselves. Do they really not understand their responsibilities towards their parents, society and nation? Do they really not want to accept the onus to make this world a better place to live? Do they really not want to contribute to eradicate the poverty from this world? Do they really not want that every body should be able to manager their food, shelter and other necessities of the life? Do they really not want that they should represent their country in sports, in business, in politics and other areas at global level? Do they really not want that their parents should feel proud on their laurels?

I talk to many such students who are shying away from their responsibilities. And I came to know that these students are highly talented and having a lot of potential to do a lot of things not only for themselves but for the nation and world. I would like to call them ‘Wasted Talent’. And I also came to know what kind of excuses they put forward not to accept their duties. Let’s discuss one by one.

First issue that I noticed is ‘negative attitude’. They say they can not change the world so why to take tension. I do not understand why these people forget that history is created by only one person not by the masses. If you look at the history you will find that only one person had created a history not the masses. Here, I would like to take an example of ‘MADD- Mothers against drunk drivers’. It is a non-profit organization of US. You people would be amazed to know that it was only one woman who created a history. Now this organization is operating in more than 20 countries across the globe. The difference is that she was with positive attitude and a lot of zeal to make it happen. Now can I ask a question, what you would have done if you had lost your one of the family members in accident due to truck driver’s mistake?  I am sure, first you would have got angry and beat the truck driver, second you would have lodged a complaint against truck driver in the police station and thirdly you would have run behind the insurance company to claim so some money can be arranged. And what else? That woman did not do anything listed above when she lost her only daughter. Instead of this, she decided to form a group which will fight against truck community not to drive when they are drunk. Initially she did not think whether she would succeed or not. Just she did her duty so that any mother should not loose her daughter like her.   Wake my dear wasted talents!!!

Second issue that I noted down is ‘Why Me’. I do not understand when they commit mistake then they do not ask why I did it. When they see a beautiful girl and unfruitful thoughts come in their mind then they do not ask why I am thinking wrong. When they cheat or flirt with any girl which, eventually, breaks her heart then they do not ask why I did it. When they bribe college peon to get their work done then they do not ask why I am inculcating wrong culture in the college. When they drink then they do not ask why I am drinking. They watch movies when they are supposed to do study then they do not ask this question, ‘Why Me’. My dear wasted talents when you do not ask this question while doing wrong things then why you say ‘why me’ while doing right things. Basically, these kinds of students think that there is nothing right and nothing wrong so do whatever you think right. But this kind of thinking is absolutely wrong and conditional which do not lead to a successful life. Because if I flirt with their sisters then it is wrong but if they do then it is right. If I bribe peon to get the work done when they are in queue then it is wrong but if they do it is not. Finally, I will say one thing that those who says ‘why me’ or ‘there is nothing right and nothing wrong’ they are losers because they can not develop those habits which winners can do without asking this question, ‘why me’. Wake my dear wasted talents!!!

Third issue which I found is ‘Lack of facilities’. They say I do not have this thing or that otherwise I would have done this and that. I do not understand when these people will stop blaming others for their cowardliness.  I want to tell only one thing to these people that those want to do they do in spite of problems not in absence of the problems. And those who do not want to do if you give them everything they will still never do it. Look at the history which is full with these kinds of examples. Wake my dear wasted talents!! Wake up!!!

Having said that all the views are personal and I can not be held responsible for any untoward happening with anybody.

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