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My 17YO daughter broke up with a guy 22YO and he drinks smokes weed should I get involved? He keeps calling.?

  • Posted on October 28, 2010 at 9:23 pm

He drinks and drives and she has a new boyfriend her own age. I’m worried he will lead her back and she will get hurt. She plans on going to college to be a probation officer, the last thing she needs is to be with him if he gets arrested.

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Just before calling an attorney regarding abusive neighbor.?

  • Posted on September 1, 2010 at 9:22 pm

I’m in a rental condo going on my 5th year. Close to work, shopping etc. Have contacted out of state owner of condo downstairs regarding his tenant who plays loud sub woofer asked him to have the guy stop. Tenant does not stop, now find out tenant was involved in a dwi, hit and run damage to property, no operators license. The tenant/squatter is there by default. The tenant was living there with his girlfriend until she died in May. The owner her dad has allowed this guy to stay there because he said “guy was so good to my daughter”.
Thing is tenant is destroying the place, and the car involved in the hit and run is the dad’s. The condo association has sent the dad a letter, but still the owner has no intention of kicking the guy out. I don’t want to go to the outrageous expense to move. Not even sure if an attorney can help me probably not.
My lease entitles me to quiet enjoyment of the premises, but that I can use to break the lease which puts me in the move position. Any Ideas??

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My ex keeps calling and asking for me and our 2 kids to hang out with him and his g.f and her new baby….?

  • Posted on September 1, 2010 at 4:32 pm

The baby is not his. A little background. He has supervised visits due to his alcoholism and abuse/neglect issues he had with our girls when they were in his care. I offer to supervise his visits, as well as his mom or sisters, but my youngest hates hanging out with his new g/f and her son when they are with her dad. The g/f works at walmart and anytime alice sees her there she is very happy and even seeks her out. The g/f hates me, for whatever reason and the atmosphere is tense to say the least when we are all together. Which is probably why alice dislikes it so much.

I don;t want to subject my child to spending time with people she doesn;t want to. When her dad is on his own and comes to visit or when we go to his place to visit and he is alone my daughter is fine and very happy to see her dad, as long as i am there with her. How can I make him understand that his visitation is for him alone, when i am the one supervising.
he has a list of expectations he needs to complete before he can get unsupervised time with his girls, after almost a year and a half he has yet to complete anything on it, and just recently has started calling more often. it used to be once or twice a month for a few minutes.

the g/f does dislike me, but I am very respectful to her when I am in a situation that involves both of us, for the sake of my kids, and because I feel nothing really but pity for her. She tends to ignore or make snide comments to me in front of my children, which I find unacceptable.

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Would calling the cops resolve this?

  • Posted on August 28, 2010 at 11:20 am

would calling the police resolve this? i am 21 my hubby is 20 and we have a 5 month old daughter. on fathers day i drove after having 1/2 mikes hard lemonade then i finished the rest at my aunts. my hubby had 1 as well. i was prescribed percocet after birth (those are gone) and used them for their intended purpose. my cousin is harrassing me. saying im driving drunk while on drugs. im supplying alcohol to a minor (my hubby). i am breastfeeding but my dr informed me a small amount of alcohol is perfectly fine. anyway my cousin is threatning to have my child taken from me (she cant have kids of her own and is OCD about this) she is posting mean things on my facebook and wont let it go. if she keeps it up would calling the cops help? and could she really have my daughter taken away? (i wasnt CLOSE to even buzzed, it was like drinkin a coke)
perc. was gone 4mo. ago so idk where she got that, sheesh i dont even take IBU after i drink. i dont hardly ever drink (maybe 3 mikes a month!) but when i do i pump out that breastmilk just incase! my mistake was driving with an open container. is it illegal for my hubby to drink with me (he is 20)?

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Can I sue my landlord for calling DYFS because Im a month late with rent?

  • Posted on August 19, 2010 at 7:20 am

My landlord had called child protective services on my wife and I, because I am a month behind in the rent. He told them lies that we smoke in the house, and that we live like filthy pigs. He hasn’t even been in our house for 5 months, when we had a kitchen fire, which he also brought up to DYFS. Granted, were not the neatest people in the world, but we would never put our daughter in any kind of situation that could harm her. Thankfully, the transport worker who came was very nice and understanding that my wife had the flu and I was getting busy at work, so the house was a little messy, but no problems with health or safety of our daughter. They came and checked everything, and all was satisfactory, they even saw the cigarette butts that have collected in the driveway over the past year, but the point is that this scumbag got my 9 month old daughter involved..Its not the first time either. He also called them on our neighbor who rents from him, and told them she was on drugs, because she had a prescription for Percocet when she broke her leg. He called them, because he knew they already had an open case with child protective services from years ago. He shouldn’t be allowed to get away with this. If he has done it to 2 tenants, how many other tenants has he done it to? It is a waste of taxpayers dollars, and also It prevents real cases of abuse coming to light, because they’re spending time chasing false accusations. If anyone knows what I can do, please let me know. I will not let him get away with this. My daughter, wife and myself have done nothing wrong, except be a month late with rent. Please help me…I want him to suffer the consequences of lying for his own good. Thank you all in advance, and God Bless.
To Joe B., what do you mean there were conditions to arouse concern?? The only reason he called, is because I havent paid him for October yet, because work was slow in Sept. and the beginning of Oct. Thats it…..No Other Reason.
Also, I wanted to add that even though they cannot tell you who called, we knew because of the way they had our last name spelled. For some reason my landlord has it spelled wrong on the lease, and thats how we knew. So the social worker told us that they can prosecute him for calling in false accusations on tenants when they dont pay him rent.
I should also mention..I live in NJ…just in case the law is different from other states…Thanks for all the answers so far.

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“What Color Is Your Parachute?” a Good Choice for Finding Your True Calling

  • Posted on January 6, 2010 at 9:07 pm

Several winters back, I had hired a strong group of performers. I worked hard at bringing out the best these folks had to offer both as individuals and as a team. I received a very positive review from my boss. He recognized my accomplishment as going beyond the call of duty when I had been taking for granted that I have a knack for running software projects on time and under budget.

At the time, I was also speaking monthly for a groups tending to the needs of job seekers.  One presentation I gave really got me thinking. I called it “Finding the Ideal Career for You” making use of great content from Richard Nelson Bolles’ book  “What Color is Your Parachute?” (You can check out my book review for more details.) The book contains a set of exercises great for helping people identify their transferable skills. So I put myself through these exercises as part of my prep work.

The exercise is simple. Write down several paragraphs about a problem you solved recently. The problem doesn’t have to be work related. It just has to be a problem you enjoyed addressing. The task is then to map the skills used to resolve the problem to the book’s transferable skills matrix.

I picked a challenge I faced organizing a kick off meeting and run for a marathon training team I coached. (Yes, I’m one of those overachieving weekend marathon runners who trains others to follow my insanity.) The kick off posed some unique challenges.

My fellow coach was out of town that weekend driving her daughter to college. Few of the runners had ever run long distance races and many of them were out of shape. The runners didn’t all fall into one neat running pack. We had runners with paces anywhere from 9 minutes to 15 minute per mile. We had a wheelchair athlete that was cutting her teeth on a marathon for the very first time ever.

The first step was to find a substitute coach. I coaxed a buddy of mine who had coached with me on a previous season. He agreed to organize the slower paced runners. I made a bunch of phone calls looking to identify someone with experience coaching wheelchair athletes. My persistence led me to an expert that shared his smarts with me. I contacted each runner via phone or email to get them pumped about a 6am Saturday run (Ugh!) and reassure them I could coach them to the finish line. My work paid off. The kick off was a success for everyone.

The next step is picking out the transferable skills from your write up and matching them into three categories: things, information and people. I got a lot more for giving this presentation that I expected. When I started mapping, I made an interesting discovery. I saw that most of my transferable skills and the ones I most enjoy using are people skills. I had used my persuasion skills to recruit a substitute coach. I used people skills to find someone in my circle of contacts who could advise me on coaching a wheelchair athlete. At the kickoff I delivered a kick off speech to the runners inspiring them and convincing them to stick with the program.

I picked several other problems to write up and came to similar results. This is not what this computer science graduate degree holder expected after spending most of his career as a programmer, software architect, and technology leader. It caused me to spend some more time reviewing if I was on the right track in my career. I had not done so in a while mainly because I had been so busy “making a living” that I failed to stop, review and reflect. I’ll write another post soon to discuss where this all took me. Lot’s of fun.

I highly recommend this book for those of you struggling with the question, “What do I want to do with the rest of my life?” So many people have relied on this book for it’s job hunting advice which is excellent while failing to turn to the last section which is just as good or better for finding a career that fits you. It maps out a systematic approach with very clear steps defined for confirming your new chosen career. This process includes use of informational interviews as a way to confirm your findings and possibly even land that next position.

Consider leaving a comment at CareerJockey.org. I’d love to see if this worked out for you.

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