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Would you care if your husband was an alcoholic if It didnt affect anything?

  • Posted on April 10, 2011 at 12:17 am

When I met and started to date my husband I realized shortly after that he was a really bad alcoholic. At that point he was really bad. When he asked me to marry him, I said that I would… but I would not be married to an alcoholic. I was raised in a house with drunk parents, and I wanted better for my kids ( I had 2 boys at that point). He wanted to be with me so he stopped drinking. We got married, had a daughter, went through years of being married without him drinking. Then about 6 months ago he started again. At first it was social so I didn’t mind much. But I explained to him That I would leave with the children if it got to the point it use to be. Then about 2 months ago, it started every day. Some days its only a few beers after work, and then some days its 18 beers after work. The thing is, He still gets up, he still goes to work, still is a good husband and father. So is it fair to him for this to bother me? As long as he is still doing everything that needs to be done, should I just let it go? It just scares me because he was HORRIBLE before we got married, and I am scared to death that this is going to happen again. He tells me it wont, but I cant help my fears. I refuse to let my children be around it. But as I said, at this point it effects nothing, I have no idea what to do?

Edit: He was drinking every day like a 30 pack and a fifth. At one point in time he was living on his friends couch. Then him and I got together and I told him I wouldnt be with him. He changed for SOOOO long. I dont mind a social drinker, but can you be a social drinker if you use to be an alcoholic? From what I see you cant be both. He has slipped a few other times. But it was a one day thing, he realized what he did and stopped. I feel like I am being unfair because he is still being a husband and father. Infact, he may be better with the kids now. I dont know anymore… advice?
it started with him thinking he could have a beer if we went out to dinner. as I said, it started as a social thing.

I dont deny it, I know its a problem. If I didnt know, I wouldnt have asked. The fact is getting him to see it as a problem, when it affects nothing in his life, that he can see.

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How do you let go of someone you care about when they are addicted to drugs?

  • Posted on March 19, 2011 at 1:20 am

I am ready to leave because I have a daughter that I won’t even allow to stay at my home because I found out my bf has been using heroin. He quit for almost a month now but has not gotten the help that he needs. He says he tried it all but he can’t do this on his own and is just drinking constantly to cure the withdrawals. I tried to stay around because I thought he was going to get help and tomorrow I think he is actually going to go to the hospital but I have dealt with so much in belief that the man I met is still there and not the man who started using back in November and brought me into debt and just constant anxiety and stress. I have to think of myself and my daughter and gave him the chance to find help and he is so convincing but for instance, tonight, he got drunk and was acting delirious again…I know I can’t save him, he needs to save himself but people like his mother are enabling him by wanting to control his money and everything he does….
She has offered to help me get a new car and give us a place to stay on their property (they have an apartment there) but she outright said she would constantly be on our as*…and that the only time he was ok was when she was controlling everything…It kills me so much to see the man that I fell in love with has such a -problem…and has reduced him to this. I wanted so much to be there to support him but I dont think its a possibility at this point nor do I want to endure any more craziness…and believe me it has been enough to drive the strongest of people insane….I just pray he gets better…I just hope he one day sees that I did really care…It’s just really hard to let go bc I hold on to the man who I fell in love with and I just wish I knew a way to make this a little easier to leave….

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Is it a hate crime or, just some sick tweekers who could care less?

  • Posted on March 17, 2011 at 8:20 am

http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/09/12/woman.tortured/index.html?eref=rss_topstories#cnnSTCText

I could be wrong, but the suspects look like tweekers to me. Meth knows no racial boundaries, so I’m not sure why the question of “Hate Crime” would come up. The victim’s mother said that her daughter has a history of being gone for days on end – I’m guessing that she was / is a tweeker too.

Do you think race was the motivating factor in this case?
Before anyone says it; I think drug abuse & racial issues have everything to do with politics.

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24 Fans: Care to rate the six seasons of the show?

  • Posted on December 22, 2010 at 9:21 pm

I’ll give you a very brief recap of each season as a reminder for those who need it.
*Season 1: Jack must protect Sen. Palmer, a leading candidate for the presidency, from assassination
*Season 2: David Palmer is now President. Jack cuts a guy’s head off to establish cover with a group with a nuke. Daughter Kim gets involved with a kid whose dad killed the mom and then gets caught in a trap out in the woods.
*Season 3: Jack stages a jailbreak, cures himself of heroin addiction, and tangles with Mexican druglords.
*Season 4: Jack is working for the Sec.of Defense. The Secretary gets kidnapped and Jack singlehandedly rescues he and his daughter, Audrey. Fun with nuclear missiles.
*Season 5: The Nixon-esque President is a SOB, working with Russian terrorists. Jack’s closest friends get killed. Jack faces off with the guy who recruited him (Robocop!).
*Season 6: Season in progress now.

Your #1 will be your favorite and #6 your least favorite.

Thanks!

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i have phone contact with my daughter she is in foster care?

  • Posted on September 26, 2010 at 7:21 pm

she lived with my mum and dad her grandparents but was not happy still not got to the bottom of it but i was a heroin addict and have not had contact with her since she was 4 now at 15 we talk on the phone the other night she turned up at 1 am in a taxi to come see me as i live with my parents now unaware of this was her Foster carer my daughter wanted to see me so she did it was the first time in 11 years i had seen her i had to contact the social services and her career that night and they came about 2.30 to get her i have heard nothing since friday i want contact with my daughter she wants it with me she is misbehavingi think i could help her so do my parents i contacted her worker this morning ive not heard back from her the carere careering she cant cope with her what can i do im scared i will loose her again although this time i have rights can anyone give me advice on what to do please.
just as i posted this my daughters worker rang me to arrange to see me , i still need advice though please
by the way i no longer take any drugs at all

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What rights will the father lose if the mother is granted joint custody with primary care?

  • Posted on September 13, 2010 at 9:22 am

my husband and I are currently seperated. I am wanting joint custody with primary care. our daughter is 5 years old and I believe that this would be best for her. of course, her father disagrees with me and thinks we should do joint custody 50/50. He continues to say that he is giving up all rights to his daughter if he agrees to what I am asking. He has just received a DWI and has a suspended drivers license. Will this affect the judges decision? He also is wanting to call a friend of mine to court because he thinks we have a sexual relationship. How will this affect this man? he has full custody of his children and I don’t want to cause him any problems. I am very confused and really don’t know what to do.

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my brother is a meth addict and has a daughter that my parents take care of they want me to adopt her?

  • Posted on August 27, 2010 at 3:20 am

should Iadopt his daughter or make my parents do it?

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How do we stop the meth epidemic from flooding the foster care system?

  • Posted on August 20, 2010 at 10:20 am

I’ve been talking with several caseworkers recently and I’m astounded at the number of foster children that are resulting in adoptions due to their bio families not being able to get clean from Meth. What else can we do as a community to get folks to get clean (or don’t start at all) so they can raise their children?

My current foster daughter is in care due to Meth. She was born addicted to it. I’ll be adopting her next month because her bio mom just can’t stay clean or out of jail.
My foster daughter is mentally handicapped due to her mother’s Meth abuse. It IS that bad.

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Alcohol Abuse Child care Issue?

  • Posted on August 19, 2010 at 4:33 pm

Ok I have a 12 year old girl, and My wife (her step mother) and I had found out last minute that we were to go to a function. my dad and Alchie said he would watch her. when we came back 4 hrs later he was TRASHED he could not see straight and he did not know where he was/what he was doing

Much to my disappointment and my wife’s Shock

I have not said anything to him, he stayed the night because he could not drive. Or make it down the 3 flights of steers and left this am about 9 ish back to his mothers house…

He does not admit he has a prob or that he needs help.

I have already cut all unsupervised access to my daughter by my dad, He is removed from the authorized pickup list at my daughters school, He has 1 OUI/DWI . Probably not necessary but at this point I’m securing her as much as i can..

I grew up in a dysfunctional home. I Survived an Abusive childhood and will Never subject my daughter to what I went through , By 10th grade I had been to more AA meets than
most recovering alcoholics have been to in 3 years, I had to make sure he went. 3 nights a weekend 2 on Sat and 2 on Sunday… (I never went with the “Cool kids” to drink because I knew the road they were heading down and i didn’t want that ride… )
I’ve read the “Big Blue Book” 3 times and can recite any of the hit rock bottom stories..

To put it mildly I don’t drink.

I need to protect my daughter from the affects of alcoholism. She has already had a rough life. He mother broke it off with me and marred/divorced a deadbeat and my daughter was being taken for the emotional ride.

What do i do..

Other than know the i cant do anything does not help. the Serenity prayer just doesn’t work for me

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If your high school son or daughter didn’t care about school and was failing and wanted to drop out would you

  • Posted on July 25, 2010 at 12:22 pm

let them? Keep in mind that this question is referring to someone that never motivated and doesn’t give a crap about school and would be much happier doing something else, whether it be painting houses or cleaning toilets.

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