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parents that have ONE DWI..does that have any influence in a child custody case if kid was NOT in car?

  • Posted on August 1, 2010 at 6:23 am

i went out for a few drinks with my girlfriend last month. i got really drunk and made the stupid stupid decision to drive home. my daughter was at home with my parents. now im trying to divorce my husband but i know he’s going to try and use my DWI against me. they cant take my daughter away from me can they? i know that they have to prove im an unfit mother to get her taken away from me. this was the first time ive been in trouble with the law.

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Can I use wifes infidelity and alcoholism in custody case?

  • Posted on July 30, 2010 at 4:33 pm

My alchoholic wife has left me and our 2 children for the second time. She is now seeing a deadbeat alcoholic. She voluntarily signed full custody of our 10 yr. old son and shared custody of 5 yr. old daughter to me. Wife has been told by her doctor a few times that she needs to go to rehab to dry out, she also take anti depressants. She has also been told by 2 different alcohol counselers that she needed rehab which she never done. I want to get full custody of my 5 yr. old cause of unhealthy situation at her mothers and wondered if her medical records and counselers records can be used in custody case at Family Court.

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Mania, Causes and Treatment.Research based case history of mania patient

  • Posted on January 7, 2010 at 7:20 pm

Introduction

Mr. Y was 66 years old; father of five children visited me with his son. His son complained that his father (Mr. Y) is much aggressive (specifically with wife and all other female family members), talkative and having problem of sleeplessness. Although sometime he got episodic attack and during attack he looks very hopeful and energetic and his other problems disappear during attack. The duration of this kind of attack usually is 3 to 4 days and by the end of this attack again he got much aggressive, talkative and with sleeplessness. He has also strongly believes that he has some strong spiritual powers and no one can hurt him in this world. His previous psychiatrist diagnosed that he was patient of Mania.

 Assessment

I took some unstructured interview from him, his wife and his sons. I got some information from those interviews that they were not a well-settled family but belongs to a poor family. Mr. Y has a younger brother (still unmarried). Mr. y was just 4 years old when his mother was expired and his younger brother was just 2 years old at that time. There were only four persons in home but after the death of his mother, only father with two sons were left. His father used to go to his work being farmer so both child, my patient and his 2 years old younger brother remained in home alone without any elder person at home. After few months his father got married again with another women and her step mother started to misbehave from very beginning of joining there home as step mother. She used to misbehaved, insulted and even physically tortured both of them and sometime she tortured his younger brother to give patient mentally torture. Patient used to keep out of home with his younger brother and try to spend their most of the time on streets and masjids to escape from bad behavior of their step mother. But during they remained out side home, he used to face different remarks mostly sympathetic remarks about them that they have lost their real mother and now facing  a cruel step mother. By the passage of time, her mother succeeded to misguide her father also about them and their father also started to misbehave them with insulting and taunting behavior. At last the bad behavior of his father and his step mother towards patient and his younger brother force them to leave that house and they shifted to their real in laws grand mother (mother of his real mother) due to. After shifting he felt responsibility of his younger brother also and he did not want to make burden on their grand mother so he started to do labor work by his own at his early age to look after himself and his younger brother. He was got married when he was 30 years old and after marriage he got a chance to go abroad for labor work. He went abroad leaving his family in Pakistan and he struggled hardly to earn more income and when he came back after 3 years, he has handsome amount with him so he started to do his own business as contractor successfully. Now, his all child are well qualified except one who is running his business very well and others are also doing well in their life. He has two daughters and both are married and happy with their married life. Now Mr. Y is living with his wife and sons in his own well furnished home.

 Treatment

After getting required information by interviews and their assessment, treatment of patient was started but it was a much difficult task as the patient is illiterate and it makes very difficult for me to even make conversation with him because he can just speak in a local language (Punjabi) not Urdu or English. So, there was no chance to use of specific writing technique which usually very helpful for this kind of patient. That’s why my treatment could only be depends on interviews and cross questioning in 45 sessions as described in following stages;

 Stage-1

Stage-1 was consist of 30 sessions and during first 10 sessions the early age of patient till death of his mother was discussed and cross questioning was made. It was assessed that although they were not financially well off but patient didn’t feel insecurity during this period of his life. He felt first time the insecurity (fear instinct) after death of his mother. This insecurity referred to trigger for fear instinct but technically it was not stimulus for fear instinct.  After the death of his mother, his father used to go to work as farmer and keep my patient with his younger brother of just 2 years old in home alone. During the time when his father remains out of home he had to look after his younger brother and it was too early to face any responsibility like this in early age of a child of just 4 years.

 After the second marriage of his father, behavior of his step-mother became stimulus for fear instinct which has already been triggered by the death of her real mother. The bad and insulting behavior of his step-mother which also included physically and mentally torture to him as well as his younger brother became the reason to enhance the sense of deprivation that they had lost their real mother and his unconscious level of mind lost the trust on women. And the situation became worst when his father also started to behave with them badly due to brain feeding by his step- mother which made his sense of deprivation more strong.

 During next 10 sessions, memory of his real mother during his early age till 4 years was recalled by cross questioning again and again. When memory of his real mother was recalled, he became more sensitive and even started to weep while feeling pressure on his shoulder. And by the same technique, memory of his step-mother was recalled and he became more aggressive during the session and passed negative comments about women but at the same time he again feels pressure on his shoulder as well as his nervous system. After that memory about his father was recalled by same technique, but during this session he tries to justify the bad behavior of his father while making his step-mother responsible for all that. It was clearly shown by analyzing results of these 10 sessions that generally all females and specifically family female members including his wife, daughters, and daughters-in-laws have become reference for stimulus (step-mother). These negative associations with females have become so strong that even when any of his sons shows love or care for his mother, sisters or wife, Mr. y again gets more aggressive with his son also.

 During last 10 sessions of this stage, cross questioning were made about his believes of spiritual powers and recalled the memory that at what age he felt that he has give these spiritual powers from GOD. It was observed that due to bad behavior of his step-mother, he along with his younger brother usually spend their time out of home and mostly they liked to go to Masjid (Place where Muslims offer the prayers) where they feel some security from GOD. In Masjid, after every prayer, the Imam (persons who leads the prayers) usually had some preaches about Islam and they listened it carefully because in these speeches Imam always told that GOD never do injustice and always help victims and as Imam usually gives the example of Islamic leaders that how GOD helped them by giving them some spiritual powers. Mr. Y knew that he was a child and not physically strong so his unconscious level of mind made a shelter (shelter is not compensation, compensation can vary from age to age and situation. However compensation may become habit but can not be believes of people which affect the entire personality.) That he has also some spiritual powers.  He became more energetic while discussing about his spiritual powers and pleased to tell the events when he used his spiritual powers. He was much relax and looks more confident without any burden on his shoulder and nervous system.

 Stage-2

Stage-2 consisted of 15 sessions and during these sessions, stimulus (step-mother, reference (females) and shelter (Spiritual powers) were linked with each other that how shelter was made by his unconscious level of mind and explore the association of reference with stimulus. These all links and associations were explored and brought into his conscious level of mind in a logical sequence. During theses session, the main emphasis is on making him realizing the facts consciously that whenever he sees any women (reference) which triggered stimulus (step-mother associated with fear instinct) which ultimately made him aggressive especially at home during any conversation with wife or any other female member of his family. Basically fear in his unconscious level of mind became reason of aggressiveness and then his unconscious level of mind starts to exploit shelter in terms of spiritual powers which actually does not exists but he always try to impose his believe (false) that he is having spiritual powers. So, it was realized him that due to this scenario, all other possible positive associations were suppressed by his unconscious level of mind due to stimulus for fear instinct. When all positive associations with reference (women) were realized by his conscious level of mind (every women is not step-mother) and he started to realize the fact that the women may b mother, daughter and sister without having any reference for stimulus and his unconscious level of mind also accept the possible associations of reference while leaving the grip on all negative association with reference as well as left the grip on shelter also.

 Resistance

During the therapy (Fear Therapy) whenever any attempt was made to unconscious level of mind to grip all other positive associations of reference while leaving those negative associations which have already been developed by his unconscious level of mind due to stimulus, every attempt triggered his stimulus and his unconscious level of mind resisted at its maximum level. Same situation faced and same resistance level was shown when attempts were made to him to realize the fact consciously that he has no spiritual power in real and he never do any work related to spiritual power. These feelings to be having spiritual power were just a shelter due to stimulus by his unconscious level of mind.

 Resistance level was kept increasing during treatment and at once he refused to continue treatment and visit to me. His son again bring him to me after much hassles and by the passage of time resistance level was becoming down and at last his conscious and unconscious level of mind finally accepted the facts.

 Findings

Mr. Y was a patient of Mania as per diagnosed by a psychiatrists. Basic reasons were death of his real mother and behavior of step-mother (stimulus). Female became reference for his stimulus. Unconscious level of mind (defense mechanism) made a shelter against stimulus that he is having spiritual powers. Treatment could not be possible without deep analysis of his unconscious level of mind that what was the stimulus and reference for fear instinct. It was necessary to explore all positive associations about his reference (female) to make his personality unsuppressed and make it at normal. When all other positive associations were realized by his unconscious level of mind and negative associations with stimulus and reference removed so there was no need of any shelter so the role of shelter was also wiped out. Minimum 5 sessions per week required for treatment because if there was gap between each session and next session may not be conducted on consecutive day, the fear which was explored in one session may again suppressed and resistance level of the client may also again suppressed. So continuity in sessions without having gap is very important in treatment for proper cure.

 

 

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Aging parents: Information you need in case of a medical emergency

  • Posted on January 4, 2010 at 12:27 am

Today, many adult daughters and sons find themselves called upon to help care for their aging parents. Often that care must be provided in an emergency. Could you provide the vital information doctors would need to care for them? If you’re like most, you’re not sure.


Why You Should Have Instance Access to Your Parent’s Senior Health Information


Having your parent’s complete medical information handy during an emergency can make a life saving difference. Seniors have more chronic health conditions than the general population. Unfortunately, many adult children aren’t aware of all those conditions. Not knowing your parent’s medical details can have a life altering impact on the entire family – like not knowing about an allergy to a particular medicine.


If your loved one is unconscious or unable to speak during a crisis, having medical information available can literally be life saving. Medical personnel will need it quickly to properly treat during an emergency.


What Doctor’s, Nurses and Emergency Medical Personnel Need to Know


At a minimum have the following information available, as well.


1. Names of doctors-Your parents’ doctors are good sources for the details of your parent’s specific health care needs. Include the name of the primary care physician and all specialists.


2. Medical history – Including any surgeries and chronic medical conditions like Alzheimer’s disease, COPD, cancer, diabetes, epilepsy, heart disease and cancer and any transplant surgery.


3. Medications – Including over-the-counter drugs, vitamin and other supplements


4. Allergies – Both to medicines and foods


5. Birth dates- Because many times insurance and medical information are stored by date of birth. can improve communication in an emergency or a crisis.


6. Emergency contacts – Include multiple contacts with alternate numbers


7. Advanced directives – The legal documents that tell doctors and hospital personnel whether life support is wanted and if resuscitation efforts should be used.


8. Insurance policies- including the name of the issuing insurance company, the policy numbers and contact numbers to get approval for procedures.


Getting Your Parent’s Doctor To Discuss Your Parents Health Issues


Due to privacy restrictions created with the Health Insurance Portability and Affordability Act (HIPAA), doctors are no longer as open as they once were to discussing your parent’s medical needs.


Your parent’s doctor won’t discuss private information with you unless your parent first gives the physician permission to discuss their care with you. The doctor’s office may require your mom or dad to fill out a form giving the doctor written permission to freely discuss private medical matters. Without that permission, the doctor may still be willing to talk to you about your concerns and be glad to get your input but don’t expect much detail in return.


If it’s in your parent’s best interest for a medical practitioner to discuss their health issues, HIPAA rules allow them to discuss that care. For example, if your mom or dad isn’t able to give important medical information in an emergency. Emergency medical personnel will turn to you for that information.

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