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father daughter dance– we’re not very close?

  • Posted on February 7, 2011 at 2:17 pm

ok so i’m getting married in 11 days AHHH!!!! and I need to meet with the music guy next week… I need some ideas for a father daughter dance that isn’t really sappy. My dad was an alcoholic half of my life and we aren’t all that close and we’ve always been kinda akward aroung each other. I know he wants to be close to me and I don’t want to not dance with him because I don’t want him to get the wrong impression, but nothing seems to fit us… any suggestions??

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My close friend blew me off for 8 months after I had my baby, now expects to just pop back into my life?

  • Posted on November 14, 2010 at 1:23 pm

If it had been someone I wasn’t close to or didn’t talk to very often I wouldn’t have cared so much, but this was one of my very best friends. We talked all the time, helped each other thru bad times, had playdates with our kids and shared babysitting, and have been friends for 13 years. When I had my daughter in January, I called her from the hospital to tell her the baby was here. She texted me back and said she was sick and didn’t want to come to the hospital and would call me later…..didn’t hear from her for 7 months. I know that I could have called her, but I had just had a baby, by c-section, was moving, and was hurt that she never called. I felt like I didn’t have to call and beg her to come and meet my new baby. So a couple weeks ago, she sent a request to add me as a friend on facebook..but no message or anything, so I waited to add her because I wanted to think about it first. We have a lot of mutual friends and I have heard over the months that she has become a nasty person and that she’s been taking ecstasy and I wasn’t sure if I wanted to be friends with her anymore. I also felt that I was owed some kind of apology or honest explanation. I added her anyway because I decided that after 13 years of friendship, I should see what she had to say. Expecting an apology, this is what I got…” hey girl, sorry, I lost your number, hope you don’t hate me. I had something for your baby girl.” She lost my number?!?!?! I’m sure it didn’t just fall out of her phone, and since we have about 15 friends in common, I’m sure she could have gotten my number from someone else in the past 7 months. I really felt insulted, like she thinks I’m that stupid that I would accept that BS excuse! I didn’t even respond..didn’t know what to say to that. What would you do? What should I say to her, if anything? Should I even try to rekindle the friendship? Thanks:)

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Someone Close to Me Being Abused; What are my Options?

  • Posted on October 2, 2010 at 7:23 am

There’s someone very close to me (our relationship is a non-factor in this) who is being abused to varying degrees by her parents. She is 16, and lives in Long Island. I also live in New York, but not in Long Island. She’s an only child and lives with both parents. There is no immediate family in the area, although she has a grandmother that lives in a different part of Long Island. She has friends that she could possibly be able to stay with if she needs to.

As for the abuse, she expressed to me the incidents which are occurring in her home, and that have occurred during her life. Her father is regarded as an “alcoholic,” in the neighborhood. He is emotionally abusive and generally not a nice person to the person in question. He makes general remarks on her worthlessness, and makes ominous statements when trying to force her to do things he wants. He yells at her all the time, and has forced her to scream in terror, out of fear of being hurt (I’ve personally witnessed this). He also physically abuses her. He chokes her on an infrequent basis, but recently she’s grown strong enough to resist him, leading to him twisting her arm and screaming in her face. She’s told me several accounts of how he used to choke her (in his truck, in her room), but what is most disturbing is that she described an incident during which he was drunk, and attempted to kill her.

The mother is more abusive consistently, although not clearly. Her abuse is confined to emotional, besides one incident. The physical incident consisted on grabbing the daughter’s arm and yanking her into the car out of anger. The emotional abuse is more frequent, but is not so clearly seen as abuse. She keeps a decent relationship with the daughter most of the time, but occasionally and more frequently as of late has been increasingly limiting her privilages around the house and verbally attacking her. Two examples include telling her that she hated her for something as trivial as not wanting to do a school activity, and remarking that “Our toiletpaper is more important than your tears,” when she took some to dry her eyes. She has been taking her cell phone away, not allowing her to use it at all, as well as her laptop.

She tried to go to a school social worker, but all the social worker did was call her parents (after she specifically requested for them not to), and suggest she get a psych evalulation. Her parents greatly restricted her rights after this, taking her phone and laptop. On Friday morning, she ran away to a friend’s house, being caught by the mother and running anyway. At the friend’s house, she explained the situation to the mother, who in turn called CPS. The subject’s mother called the police and had her recovered. The subject attempted to explain the situation to the police to get help, but it yielded none. The friend’s mother would later say that she “did a poor job of explaining the situation to them.” Now, she’s confined to her house, and can only occasionally sneak communication with me. According to what I was able to gather from her quick messages, CPS showed up at her house, but she’s still there. I’m totally unsure of what to do, and was wondering if there were any options to have her removed from the house legally. She realizes the need to go.

This is very time sensitive, but I feel as if there are very few options left. Her safety is paramount in this situation, but ideally she would like to be removed from the house. Her quality of life is poor. She is safe, now that the parents know they can no longer physically harm her, but she’s basically unable to communicate with the outside world. Please help.
P.S- The parents blame me for what’s happened, and so we’re basically communicating exclusively in secret from now on. This is unlikely to change, but my communication and relationship with her is very important to me.
Again, I’m not sure what else there’s left to report. CPS apparently didn’t do anything, and the parents exclusively blame me for what happened.

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Parents of a close female friend don’t want me seeing her anymore.?

  • Posted on October 2, 2010 at 7:22 am

I met this spectacular girl about a month ago through friends we both knew, and we started making plans to hang out with each other with friends with us. When we grew closer to each other and started to hang out alone, I met her mom. She seemed okay with me being 18, and her daughter, 15. Fast forward a few weeks later, her dad finds out that I’m interested in her decides it’s not okay for me to see his daughter anymore, eventually convincing the mom it’s not okay as well. I got word that the dad drinks a lot, and I received a phone call from him one evening when he was clearly intoxicated. He started threatening me, saying he will call the police if I see his daughter again because he is afraid that I’m trying to push her to have sex (which I am most definitely not).

I just want an honest, straightforward relationship with this girl, I see things in her that I don’t see in most girls. We have so much in common that I’d hate to lose her because of her dad. We have both made efforts to try to calm him down and let him meet me before he starts judging me for who I am JUST because I’m 18. I just don’t know what to do anymore, Yahoo, please help?
I am getting mixed signals on what she wants right now, she seems to be okay with the situation, but she also seems like she wants to see me sometimes even though she is not supposed to.

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can adult test positive from 2nd hand smoke exposure to crack cocaine if they are in close quarters alot?

  • Posted on January 2, 2010 at 10:01 am

Can an adult test positive from contact with second hand smoke from crack cocaine? I have a friend that was homeless living in her car and her husband has a severe crack addiction. They lived in the vehicle approx. 2 months & she was exposed to his smoking on a daily basis all day long. Many days he would not even go to sleep but just continue to smoke. She had to under go a drug screening and tested positive for cocaine. She does not smoke and never has. Is there any place she can find written info about this? She needs to be able to substantiate her claim that it was from passive exposure. She has left her husband and is trying to get custody of her daughter. The child was with family when parents were homeless but the family does not want to return child because they say there is absolutely no such thing as second hand exposure. I have searched internet and library & many places says that there is passive exposure but we need it in writing and specific. can any one refer us to answ

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