My 12 year old daughter has been living with her father since February. She informed me the other day, that her dad and/or his family has not been picking her up after school. She has told me, on at least two different occasions, she sat at the school for over an hour, before the principal told her she had to leave school grounds, then walked 1.5 miles to the house her father is planning to purchase, (he’s currently remodeling it) and then sat there for 45 min + till someone showed up to get her. She has a cell phone, but nobody has ever called her to tell her that they weren’t going to pick her up. The school has a teen center, a safe place she can go after school, but she has to go there directly after school lets out. I don’t see why they can’t just send her a message telling her to go to the teen center after school. Instead, they let her sit, (sometimes in the rain) and wait for them. Then she walks 1.5 miles, unaccompanied, only to sit in front of a vacant home. (There is a convicted child molester living not more than 2 blocks from there, and her father is aware of this.)
She also called the other day, from the bar. She was there with her dad. At 11 o’clock. On a school night. This upsets me greatly, as he’s had 2 prior dui’s. He has no qualms with driving drunk, whether she is in the car or not.
It sounds to me like my ex-husband is neglecting our daughter. Am I overreacting?
She went to live with him, because she has some anger management issues, and violent tendencies. I have a 2 year old at home, and my 12 year old threw a chair at her. She also is going through diversion for an assault ticket. I can’t have her come home until she gets some help (Which he is supposed to be doing). She has a psychiatrist, and a therapist. She was prescribed Abilify, a mood stabilizer. Her father took them away from her, won’t let her take them, because “there’s nothing wrong with her”. He says all her issues are because I’m a b**ch. The only reason he lets her see her therapist, is because it’s court ordered through diversion. I think that if she were to take her meds, and continue with therapy, she could come home… I currently have legal custody, but he’s fighting me for it, so he won’t have to pay child support anymore.(She’s with him, because I asked him to care for her while she gets help, to protect my younger child.)
She can’t get a key to the house, as he doesn’t live there. He doesn’t own the property yet.
Doing zilch? I’ve been taking this kid to therapy since she was 5, when her dad and I split. She has been violent for the past 3 years. I’ve tried stragegy after strategy after strategy. We’ve been in family therapy. I sent her to her father, thinking maybe he would step up and HELP in parenting her. I have to do what I can to insure my younger daughter’s safety.
Obvously you’ve never parented a child with a mood disorder. Until you’ve walked a mile in my shoes, don’t criticize my parenting.
GerberaC – After viewing your profile, and reading some of your other answers, I now know why you responded like you did.
I’m sorry you had a rough time growing up. But it sounds like your situation, and my daughter’s situation are not the same. She has a loving mother, who has, and will continue to do everything in her power to help her. She has been diagnosed with O.D.D. and has been prescribed the proper medication. She gets therapy, and has a large extend family that supports her. I really do feel bad, that your childhood was rough, but don’t project your anger management issues onto this situation… She is getting help, not being punished. I’m sorry that you see it that way.
