(When writing this I’m using my younger daughters profile, I dont have one. My daughter told me about this website so I thought I’d give it a try after I told her about this whole mess!)
My oldest daughter is 20 years old and she’s seeing a 36 year old man. Personally I find this extremely disturbing. That’s a 16 year difference! I have friends my age who have a huge gap between them and there spouse and it hasn’t intervened with there relationships at all. However that’s because they met each other when they had finished collage, found and had maintained a stable job and had been living on there own for a while. My daughter is 20 years old going through collage and is living with us. Recently she has taken a semester off from school to earn more money. (College doesn’t pay itself!) While taking this time off she has been working extremely hard at two jobs. When not working she’s spending her time at her boyfriends house; who by the way she met at one of her two jobs waitressing. His profession…a cook in a line kitchen. How happy am I to hear such good news! (Note the sarcasm) But no I didn’t hear this news for a long time. Apparently she has been “hooking” up with him for a while now. Eventually it turned into a “thing”. From what I’ve heard from respectable friends in the restaurant business, he’s fat, balding, 36, and he’s no jackpot moneywise. We also have family who are also in the restaurant business and know allot about this guy. They’ve been saying things like drugs, addiction; he’s a total creep and ect… I’m not too happy about my daughter’s choice. In fact I’m furious and really truly revolted. I can only imagine how happy the guy is having a 20 year old girlfriend when he’s 36 and balding! Especially when my daughter is no slouch at making herself appear nicely. However in defense of the boyfriend and my own believes I’m not saying that money, looks, and what he does for a living is everything but my daughter is young, beautiful, smart, ect… basically I think she can do WAY better then this chump! Not to mention we live in a small town and small community and I want her (like all mothers do) to go out and experience the world and travel before she decides anything serious too fast. (Not that she’s getting married to him or completely moving in with him….yet) She’s said to me and other people that she loves the town she lives in and wouldn’t want to go or live anywhere else. I disagree, she may love where she grew up but she doesn’t know anywhere else so how could she possibly say this without knowing what the world is like. She’s been going to a school (collage) in the middle of nowhere, basically surrounded by corn fields and she’s lived in a small town community. She needs to go out and explore the world live in a city, not sit here in some dumb town with a total loser, get high, and hang out with kitchen rats. (My husband has run a restaurant for 30 years we know the business and the people who get involved with it) But seriously what can I do?! I can’t tell her to lose the boyfriend she’s 20 years old. I can’t tell her what to do anymore! I can’t call the cops she’s old enough to make these decisions legally! I’ve thought about threatening to take away her collage funds (she wants to go and she knows its important) or kick her out of the house, but both of these would only make her move out and go live with the fat ass geezer! Please help is there anything that I could be doing! I’m hoping that this is some weird phase or that she’ll wake up and dump him but I’ve waited long enough and she’s not waking up! She’s still in ga gaa land, scribbling his name on her notebook, acting like a 13 year old with her first crush! What can I do to help my daughter? Is this whole relationship O.K? (i dont think so) but I’m open to any suggestions!! please help!
