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We have custody of our grandgirl. Her father is a deadbeat dad. He is telling me that he is going to take her?

  • Posted on March 15, 2011 at 9:20 am

We have custody of our grand girl. She is 8. We have had her since she was born. Both parents were heroin addicts and she was a heroin baby. Her dad is not supposed to see unless we say it is ok. He got out of prison 2 years ago and has been seeing her. He now thinks that he is going to take her and move. He has an older daughter that he hits, bears and has rammed her her in a wall. He put his hands on me on Sunday. The police took him away and let him go. He has a bad temper. What should we do?

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worried about my dad…?

  • Posted on October 17, 2010 at 9:22 pm

my father has been a serious alcoholic all my life. ever since i can remember he would revolve his life around trying to get beer, liqour, ect and figuring out a way to sneak around and drink as much as he possibly can. he used to drive around in the car while chugging a beer with my twin sister and i in the back seat when we were kids all the time. about 2 years ago he got arrested for his 4th aggravated DWI (he blew a .32) and was forced to go to a 9 month rehab center. he did great in rehab, he seemed very determined/focused and would constantly tell me how sorry he was for being a bad father. after he got out he seemed like a whole new man! working all the time, taking care of the house, attending all of his probation meetings, he got his liscense back, ect. he was sober for about 1 1/2 years and then slowly started to go back to his old ways. i think alot of the reason for his drinking is his home life. my stepmom is very controlling, has major mood swings, shes very disrespectful to him, and ive seen her physically attack him many times when i was younger. their daughter (my half-sister) who is 14 treats him the same way. he does everything for them (cook clean, do laundry) while they sit around and watch tv and eat. he says he wants to leave all the time but never has enough balls to do it. i know hes been drinking again and i know its not going to end well. i dont want to just sit back and watch his life fall apart again but i dont know what to do? sorry its long i just wanted to explain the situation thoroughly

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What do you think of this?? Dear Dad,……?

  • Posted on September 12, 2010 at 1:22 pm

A father passing by his teenage daughter’s bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was neat and tidy.

Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the centre of the pillow. It was addressed “Dad”. With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:-

Dear Dad,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I’m writing you, but I’m leaving home. I had to elope with my new boyfriend Randy because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you.

I’ve been finding real passion with Randy and he is so nice to me. I know when you meet him you’ll like him too – even with all his piercing, tattoos, and motorcycle clothes. But it’s not only the passion Dad, I’m pregnant and Randy said that he wants me to have the kid and that we can be very happy together.

Even though Randy is much older than me (anyway, 42 isn’t so old these days is it? ), and has no money, really these things shouldn’t stand in the way of our relationship, don’t you agree?

Randy has a great CD collection; he already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. It’s true he has other girlfriends as well but I know he’ll be faithful to me in his own way. He wants to have many more children with me and that’s now one of my dreams too.

Randy taught me that marijuana doesn’t really hurt anyone and he’ll be growing it for us and we’ll trade it with our friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we’ll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Randy can get better; he sure deserves it!!

Don’t worry Dad, I’m 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I’m sure we’ll be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren.

Your loving daughter,
Rosie.

At the bottom of the page were the letters ” PTO”.

Hands still trembling, her father turned the sheet, and read:

PS:
Dad, none of the above is true. I’m over at the neighbour’s house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card that’s in my desk centre drawer. Please sign it and call when it is safe for me to come home.

I love you!

Your loving daughter,
Rosie

************ *

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Top 5 Strategies – How to Communicate With Your Children’s Other Parent

  • Posted on July 2, 2009 at 10:39 pm

I heard a journalist say recently that “there’s a vicious and respect less way of communicating that’s reserved exclusively for the ‘divorced with children’”. Ouch, that hurt! Probably because it’s so true. It doesn’t have to be like that and for the sake of building a bridge with our children’s other parent here are some ground-rules for practicing how to play fare. (For the sake of ease here, I’m going to assume that we’re talking about divorce or separation and that the children have residence with their mum; their dad having moved to a separate home).

1. Focus on the Present and the Future
Conversations between separated Mums and Dads about the past often get heated, stressed and even dangerous. Ideally, you want to get to a point where your communication is calm and actively contributes to a positive future. If you have unresolved issues relating to your past relationship, you must find a way to process these independently to your conversations with your ex. Find a good counselor, a qualified friend or family member (i.e. they know how to keep you moving forward and are not going to spend time just agreeing with you), or an anger-management therapist – whoever it is, work through your feelings about your ex-partner in a constructive and forward-focused way in your own time.

2. Focus on the Children’s Wellbeing
Remember that regardless of what you think about your child’s other parent, your child loves you both and is not a pawn. Try to encourage a good relationship with their dad after he’s moved away and build up the time your children spend with him to a level where everyone’s happy. Initially it may be that the children just want to be in familiar surroundings for the majority of the time. Encourage and equip them to talk about how they feel and be aware not to manipulate or colour their thinking. Asking what they want is a good start, however sometimes they will have to be stretched out of their comfort zone (like they may just have to go and spend the weekend at Dad’s flat) for the long-term benefit of all their relationships.

3. Give Yourself a Time Limit for Conversations
If you find that your tolerance level for being civil to your ex-partner is limited, then make sure you only talk in short blocks of time. Practice, ‘doing diaries’ in under 10 minutes. If you feel yourself start to get anxious, then suggest that ‘we look at this again next week’.

4. Get Comfortable With Not Concluding
Not all conversations about our children have to be concluded right now. Try to plan ahead when negotiating access, holidays, saving for gifts, having your children be at their friend’s parties, etc. Mention ahead of time that you’d like to take the children to Cornwall, or you want to have them visit their Granny on her birthday. This will allow time for both parties to consider the benefits for the children and to consider what a compromise or re-negotiation might look like.

5. Be Respectful
Challenging though it might be, talking to your ex with respect is the best way to begin to change things for the better. I know how hard this can be – especially in the early days; but it will get easier with practice and persistence. You owe it to yourself and to your children and ultimately it will reduce anxiety and increase happiness all round.

Jennifer Broadley is a qualified executive coach and the founder of www.SuccessfulSingleParenting.com
For more information and a FR*EE Special Report “ The 5 Secrets for Successful Single Parenting” visit: www.SuccessfulSingleParenting.com

Article Source: Top 5 Strategies – How to Communicate With Your Children’s Other Parent

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The Secret Ingredient

  • Posted on July 1, 2009 at 7:57 pm

Did you watch the film “Kung Fu Panda”? I don’t know why I didn’t watch it before last night, but I’m really glad I did finally see it. Needless to say, being about kung fu, the central theme of the movie is self-belief. Confidence really is “the secret ingredient” for success in life.

The movie demonstrated this important fact in two main ways. The panda’s dad had a noodle shop which was extremely successful, and everyone went there for the special noodles which contained “the secret ingredient”. Everyone raved about the noodles with the secret ingredient, even the son, the panda. It was only at the end of the film that he found out that there was no secret ingredient; it was just everyone’s belief that there was this secret that made everyone find it so special. Just the thought made people expect that it would be special and so it then tasted special.

This of course perfectly demonstrates the fact that your own self-belief, your own expectations pave the way to your own perception of reality, and therefore create your reality. The belief that there was a special ingredient actually made the noodles TASTE better. Your perceptions are colored by your beliefs in relation to everything in life. Your internal beliefs, your sense of self shapes all of your experiences and so it is vital that one has belief in oneself, confidence in yourself.

The other theme of the movie was finding the dragon warrior, the best kung fu expert, and this warrior would get to see what was on a secret scroll. There was much competition for this valued position, but somehow, accidentally the overweight panda who knew little about kung fu ended up being named as this warrior. The movie highlighted again and again the importance of belief and trust, the vital importance of believing in yourself and trusting in your own ability to succeed. It also demonstrated the fact that how you look makes no difference, and even your physical ability has little importance when compared to your inner belief, your inner confidence and resolution to succeed.

In the end, when the dragon scroll was opened, there was nothing on it. There was no secret formula for success. All that was seen in the scroll was one’s own reflection, demonstrating once again the inevitable fact that everything you need is already there within you, just waiting for you to realize this fact. The human mind is so incredibly powerful, if only we know to look within.

It is a fact that few people look within, few people tap into the hidden power of our own minds, and this is unfortunate. So many of us look to the outside for approval and guidance, and this is true of even the most successful people. But your true power comes from within, from your inner beliefs about yourself and your own internal expectations. Few of us know HOW to look within, HOW to build our inner confidence. Most of us just accept that “this is how we are”. But this thought process is limiting to say the least; it prevents stretching and growth, and instead promotes stagnation.

Once we begin to think in terms of growth and how we want to be and what we want to achieve, then we can look at what we might want to change and how to change it. Hypnosis is a wonderful tool to use when on a quest for self-growth, change and success. Hypnosis is a state of relaxation and allows you to take a step back, to look at yourself from a different angle. Hypnosis allows access to your subconscious mind where your otherwise hidden self-beliefs and expectations are stored.

Often we are not even consciously aware of many limiting beliefs – we just accept them as “normal” – they are in fact so normal to us that we do not even notice them. But when we begin to look inside, we can identify patterns of thought which limit us and choose to change them. With hypnosis, you can create new deep rooted beliefs, habits and expectations within your subconscious mind, and this is the part which acts instinctively and automatically. Hypnosis allows you to choose to build your confidence, to build your self belief and trust in yourself, and thereby pave your own way to success.

Hypnosis is easy to learn. In fact, you already use hypnosis without even realizing it. Hypnosis is the state between wake and sleep and so you pass through hypnosis each and every time you go to sleep. With hypnosis downloads you can learn to access the state of hypnosis at will. Simply by listening to a hypnosis download you will learn this art. You can, with hypnosis, examine your self-beliefs and choose what you want to change. Then you can do ANYTHING you want to do.

Your mind is totally and utterly amazing in its potential. You can do anything you set your mind to do so long as you believe in yourself. You can get hypnosis downloads to help you to gain more confidence, to achieve success, to achieve your maximum potential. You, like the panda in the movie, can learn to trust in yourself and to stop searching outside yourself for a “secret ingredient”, as you choose to look within, with the help of hypnosis.

Roseanna Leaton, specialist in hypnosis downloads for hypnosis confidence, success and well-being.

With a degree in psychology and qualifications in hypnotherapy, NLP and sports psychology, Roseanna Leaton is one of the leading practitioners of self-improvement. You can get a free hypnosis download from http://www.RoseannaLeaton.com and peruse her extensive library of hypnosis downloads

Article Source: The Secret Ingredient

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