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Why am I not trusted with my god daughter?

  • Posted on May 7, 2011 at 12:18 pm

A little background on the situation. My best friend of twelve years had a little girl about two years ago & for a Christmas gift her and her husband made me the god mother. I’m very close with my god daughter, I babysit her quite often. I attend all her doctor’s appointments, she has Cystic Fibrosis. I do not drink, smoke, do drugs, i’ve never had a speeding ticket or been in a car accident. For a long time I was more educted in her medicine than her own father. Her father is an alcoholic who had a suspended license and left his family every weekend to party, drink and go to strip clubs. I routinely took care of my god daughter when my best friend (her mother) and her husband (her father) were separated. At which time my best friend would would go out with other men while I took care of her daughter. She did not directly ask me to do this but I did not want my god daughter around strange men so I offered to babysit. Many times this was late at night. My best friend’s mother in law threw various objects at her son while he was holding my god daughter. When my god daughter was ill and only 8 mos old they left her in the hospital for days at a time without any visitors “because they had to work” when her father works in the same city as the hospital is located

My question is why am I not allowed to take my god daughter to the park or anywhere for that matter? I feel bad that she has to sit in the house all day. My best friend’s husband acts as if i’m an irresponsible person who is not to be trusted. I have not brought this up with my best friend because I don’t want to start friction in our relationship.
I was told by her mother that she did not go there for days and because I was not a parent I was not allowed to visit. H1N1 was too much of a worry for the hospital last December.

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Neighbor arrested for DUI while waching my daughter?

  • Posted on May 1, 2011 at 3:22 am

While my daughter (13) was having a sleepover at her friends house, the mother of the other child, left both children children (mine and her 11 year old) alone in the home and went out drinking. She was arrested for DUI and Driving under a suspended Lic and open container.

Will DHS take her kids away when I report this?
The police didn’t know the children were left home alone. She did not call me to go get my daughter, she called her ex-husband (drug user) who I have never met.

I do not care about my daughter having a relationship with that little girl or her mother. We have moved out of town since then. I earned this had happened weeks later by the mothers own admission and verified it with public records. She had also been driving my daughter (and her kids) around without a license for months (she has not had a lic since 2007.

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My daughter 26. her boyfriend of 5yrs wants me to go to his grandparents for xmas.?

  • Posted on April 30, 2011 at 4:17 am

Im divorced since she was little. She spent Thanksgiving with xhusbands family. and xmas with me.
4 years ago when she graduated college i went to her boyfriends family for xmas. They live 2hrs away. I am permantly disabled. Have had 5 back operations. This takes a toll on me. I spent Thanksgiving alone. Her and boyfriend stop by for short visit day after Thanksgiving. Now because he came down and spent thanksgiving with her fathers family he expects me to travel and spend xmas with his family. I only get to see her maybe 8 days a year. With her job and her living 4hrs away. Ive been in a relationship with a man for 15yrs. off and on because he is an alcoholic. He went to florida last dec. and got in program an is sober for 1yr. I spent 8mons in florida with him and had to come home in Oct. to take care of some business. His sisters live near me and we are close . they have invited my daughter and i for xmas dinner. I accepted the invitation. My daughter likes their company an agreed. But now her boyfriend is throwing the card i went to your families for thanksgiving. you should come to mine on xmas. My daughter is uncomfortable going to his families because he gets all moody and has issues with his mother. his parents are also divorced. Its complicated. Then her fathers side of family wants her to run all over to see them. She usually comes down on xmas eve day spends xmas day and leaves to spend xmas with her father on 26th.
I dont feel i am being unreasonable asking her to spend the 2days with me. What do you feel.

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Please help me figure out what is with this guy? Is he a jerk for adding her daughter to facebook?

  • Posted on April 28, 2011 at 9:24 am

He had a past relationship with her during or shortly after the divorce of her husband. He is 27 years old and she is 41 (I am 45). He is healthy and I am a bit over weight. Her and I both smoke and he doesn’t. He let her borrow upwards of $10,000 over a three year period so she could provide for her daughter. She hasn’t paid him back much at all, only a couple hundred dollars.

He encouraged her to get a job and she got one at the bar I own. I moved in on her and she and I are now together. She told the 27 year old that she was still with her husband for several months before telling him the truth about us. He drove up to our bar to see who i was. There was some drama about a girl I was flirting with that is a waitress, I put a napkin down her shirt. My GF and I were fighting about that. The 27 year old left with a bad feeling about me, and said he was worried about her. She exploded at him because he said he was concerned. He became closer friends with us again and I wanted him to come up to prove that im better than what happened last time. This time when he came up there was a woman who was rubbing her butt against my knees. But he didn’t say anything because she is a skanky bar girl. But she was telling of old times when she spent time in my hot tub and I gave her my email address.

My GF tried to get him to drink a lot. He drinked a lot and we got him drunk. She took his keys to his camaro and drove it to a safe spot. He slept on our couch. When he woke up our daughter (15) came in. I mentioned a dildo i got for my birthday to her and she laughed. He didnt look too impressed and quickly talked about her school and everything was going at school. He told her to reach her goals and to work hard. Before he left, my GF asked if he could stay for lunch but he said no. He gave her daughter a big hug and said “remember what we talked about” and then she said ok. He drove off.

When he got home, he added her sister and daughter to facebook and she exploded at him for it. He said he was concerned about her and she said she loved me and for him not to pretend he needs to save her. Her daughter removed him from facebook a week later but I am not sure if she wanted to or not.

He sent us both a list of his concerns about our daughter. He said I shouldn’t of mentioned the dildo and cussing in front of her. He said she (her daughter) is a woman but not an object and she needs to know that women aren’t object. He said I need to be more careful around the other women. My GF really laid into him. She is really pissed. Her and I are going to Vegas this week.

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I’m a parent and i need help..with my daughter plz help?

  • Posted on April 26, 2011 at 1:23 pm

my daughter just got ungrounded from drivin with teenagers and then right after that she drove with them agian and went to a party and got drunk now she has been grounded for 3 weeks and get to do some stuff she relized what she did was wronge and she promised she wouldnt drink anymore. it is summer for her and she is going crazy becuz she wants to do stuff with her friends and she says im making her life horrible all i want to do is ungrounded so i can trust her agian but i dont no for sure if i want to.also i havent told her when she is al that way ungrounded now she gets to do somethings with friends but only 1 timea week and cant spend the night anywere. i was never that stricked on her and now that i am she is going crazy alot of her attidute has changed.she used to be able to tell me stuff but now she is geting father and father away and she is acting diff she used to never be all upset now she crys at least evryother day and says things she dont mean i dont no wat to do anymore

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I’m a parent and i need help..with my daughter plz help?

  • Posted on April 24, 2011 at 5:23 pm

my daughter just got ungrounded from drivin with teenagers and then right after that she drove with them agian and went to a party and got drunk now she has been grounded for 3 weeks and get to do some stuff she relized what she did was wronge and she promised she wouldnt drink anymore. it is summer for her and she is going crazy becuz she wants to do stuff with her friends and she says im making her life horrible all i want to do is ungrounded so i can trust her agian but i dont no for sure if i want to.also i havent told her when she is al that way ungrounded now she gets to do somethings with friends but only 1 timea week and cant spend the night anywere. i was never that stricked on her and now that i am she is going crazy alot of her attidute has changed.she used to be able to tell me stuff but now she is geting father and father away and she is acting diff she used to never be all upset now she crys at least evryother day and says things she dont mean i dont no wat to do anymore

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My 25 yr. old Daughter is taking the pleaseure out of life.?

  • Posted on April 19, 2011 at 5:23 am

My 25 year old Daughter lives at home. She left for about a year to try a marriage, nope.
She’s in her 6th year college we foot the bill. She wakes for school only if we get her up. She is incapable of waking herself.
Her car we bought brand new, is beat to pieces and has a new ding almost daily.
Her room is not fit for a Dog to live in, I beg for her to take control of it.
She works for me or she could not hold a job, I kick her into gear everyday.
Not an ounce of responsibility from this grown woman.
She drinks and/or gets drunk at least 3 times a week, also drives.
She thinks because she’s nice to me she’s not being disrespectful.
She thinks this is how her crowd lives that is how being 25 is.
I feel she’s old and getting older. It’s time for me to have an adult friend out of my Daughter and not a teen nightmare.
I’m losing feelings for a kid I would have died for.
She always says she gets it and will start a change tomorrow.
Do I disown her? I am stressed and miserable.

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i accidentally went to the bathroom on my daughter and im really feeling guilty about it?

  • Posted on April 11, 2011 at 8:17 pm

lil backstory im a single mother and its been a tough life for me, i am a severe alcoholic but im doing my VERY best to clean up for my daughters sake shes the lite of my life but its a constant struggle…

anyway fast forward to now ive been sober for 19 days but last night i really really got upset and one thing led to another i got almost black out drunk by midnight… my daughter was fast asleep so i figured she was safe or so i thought… but before i went 2 bed that night i really had “to go” but i was so messed up i didnt realize i went into my daughters bedroom (its right next to the bathroom, i was really f**d up please try to understand how hard it can be) and i just totally lost control and went to the bathroom (#1 and #2… a lot of both… ;) all over her

god knows how but she slept through it … when i realized what i did i was so ashasmed i almost threw up and i didnt know how to tell her i mean she cant think her mother did this for the rest of her LIFE!!! so i just left it there and the next morning she woke up SCREAMING BLODY MURDER so i ran in and i dont know i couldnt tell her it was me so i just said “uh oh honey u had an accident its okay” shes 9 years old so shes too old for bed wetting but i had no choice but to make her think she did it

she is depressed all day today because she thinks she is a gross monster but what choice do i have if i ttell her it was me wont it be worse

p[lease help i dont know what 2 do ;( :( ;(

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My daughter just got a new car and she so excited that she cant stay out of it and she drives fast. So Help?

  • Posted on April 8, 2011 at 5:23 am

My questions is when will she get over the excitiment of the car. By the way she is 21. And i have told her not to drink and drive but she still does.

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Future step daughter is disrespectful to me, how do I deal?

  • Posted on April 8, 2011 at 4:17 am

I’d like to hear from step daughters mostly as to how I can make things better. I’m willing to do whatever it takes but I’m at my whits end and stressed to the max. I’m sure my future step daughter is feeling an equal amount of stress based on her actions. Here are the facts. I’m 31, my FH is 44 and my FSD is 25. My husband and his Ex divorced about 13 years ago. He raised his daughter by himself and she doesn’t have a good bond with her mother so her father says. FSD is married and has a 3 month old son. Her father and I got engaged about 3 months ago and it’s been total drama ever since. She will not speak to me when I greet her or say bye. She complains about the food I cook for parties stating she doesn’t eat Mayo, which is a lie. At her brothers wedding she told her father I couldn’t sit with him because we weren’t married. Although her grandfathers live-in GF was seated with him and honored with a corsage. She insisted her father gets a prenup (which I will gladly sign) but I’m not certain that’s her business. Her father confronted her about her rudeness and not speaking. She told him she didn’t even realize I was saying hey to her (he’s seen it happen first hand). I FEEL like I’ve been more than nice to her and her family. I cancelled a vacation we had planned because I feared we would miss the birth of her son. I attended her baby showers (which were for family and I’m surprised I was invited as family but excluded from the wedding for not being family). I bought her son a babies first christmas ornament and included his picture from minutes after he was born and gave it to her the same day he was born. (yep that took a little juggling to do but I thought it was a nice gesture). I made her husband and her a movie basket for Christmas with movie rental gift card and tons of goodies to munch on while they were at home with the new baby. Didn’t even get a thank you. Bought her baby a little valentines treat, okay he can’t eat but I bought burp clothes, etc. Didn’t even get a thank you. Volunteered for her dad and I to babysit on Valentines night so she and her husband could enjoy a romantic dinner out. She declined and didn’t even say thanks for the thought. She says that her dad doesn’t NEED her anymore. However neither one of them make an attempt to be around the other when I’m not there. My fiance doesn’t work on Fridays, I do, and his daughter doesn’t work. I’ve suggested that he take her to lunch or breakfast every Friday but he just says that’s a good idea and nothing happens. I’ve suggested that maybe she could cook him dinner one evening, we don’t live together so she could have his undivided attention any evening. Her father does not like her husband because he is supposedly an alcoholic and drug addict that didn’t complete rehab. I’m not sure about this, he SEEMS like a wonderful father and husband. However my fiance is not as polite and welcoming to his son-in-law as he could be. I’ve explained that this is a two way street and that he must treat her husband with respect if he expects her to treat me with respect. My fiance has tried to talk to his daughter but things aren’t getting any better, possibly worse even. My parents are not divorced so I can not begin to understand how my FSD feels from that standpoint. And I do understand how she feels regarding the prenup, etc. She has every right to feel that way but she should still treat me with respect IMO. Please offer any advice you can, I have always wanted a big family and so very much want this to work out.

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