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my mom is an alcoholic.. i had a talk with her and she didn’t hear me, do i need to do anything else?

  • Posted on April 21, 2011 at 1:23 am

if you want back story here is my last question, it’s kinda long.

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Aq6Ox6230N0Ktt9pTrc5ll3sy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20091229195801AASrNVv

anyways i talked to her about the problems her drinking has caused.
poor judgment, being at the bar instead of with family on holidays, the poor example it sets for my kids…

she blamed me of course. she said i was judging her and i have no place to judge her for what she does on her free time. she even said my husband and i drink in front of our kids like on thanksgiving. well yeah, i had a glass of wine. but she spent thanksgiving at the bar and didn’t show up until hours after the meal… big difference. i am somewhat familiar with an alcoholic deflecting onto others.. she blamed everyone but herself, talked bad about everyone in my husband’s family (who by the way are wonderful people) so she didn’t look so bad… and then proceeded to ask for my daughter this weekend. -this was the basis of this talk in the first place. she can’t have either of my kids like this..

so from any of your experience, is there anything else i can or should do to make myself clear to her or is it a lost cause? part of me telling her about her problem was also so i could absolve myself of any guilt if/when she kills someone while driving drunk.. so should i just leave it at that and wait for her to come to her senses someday before i talk to her again? i’m just not sure, i feel like i owe her something, but at the same time i know i owe her nothing and that she will make her own bed.. i just don’t know.. my husband is ready to write her off. i don’t blame him and i almost agree. i just want to know i have done all i could.
your experience with an alcoholic is appreciated. thank you.

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my mom is an alcoholic.. i had a talk with her and she didn’t hear me, do i need to do anything else?

  • Posted on April 20, 2011 at 3:22 am

if you want back story here is my last question, it’s kinda long.

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Aq6Ox6230N0Ktt9pTrc5ll3sy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20091229195801AASrNVv

anyways i talked to her about the problems her drinking has caused.
poor judgment, being at the bar instead of with family on holidays, the poor example it sets for my kids…

she blamed me of course. she said i was judging her and i have no place to judge her for what she does on her free time. she even said my husband and i drink in front of our kids like on thanksgiving. well yeah, i had a glass of wine. but she spent thanksgiving at the bar and didn’t show up until hours after the meal… big difference. i am somewhat familiar with an alcoholic deflecting onto others.. she blamed everyone but herself, talked bad about everyone in my husband’s family (who by the way are wonderful people) so she didn’t look so bad… and then proceeded to ask for my daughter this weekend. -this was the basis of this talk in the first place. she can’t have either of my kids like this..

so from any of your experience, is there anything else i can or should do to make myself clear to her or is it a lost cause? part of me telling her about her problem was also so i could absolve myself of any guilt if/when she kills someone while driving drunk.. so should i just leave it at that and wait for her to come to her senses someday before i talk to her again? i’m just not sure, i feel like i owe her something, but at the same time i know i owe her nothing and that she will make her own bed.. i just don’t know.. my husband is ready to write her off. i don’t blame him and i almost agree. i just want to know i have done all i could.
your experience with an alcoholic is appreciated. thank you.

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Would you care if your husband was an alcoholic if It didnt affect anything?

  • Posted on April 10, 2011 at 12:17 am

When I met and started to date my husband I realized shortly after that he was a really bad alcoholic. At that point he was really bad. When he asked me to marry him, I said that I would… but I would not be married to an alcoholic. I was raised in a house with drunk parents, and I wanted better for my kids ( I had 2 boys at that point). He wanted to be with me so he stopped drinking. We got married, had a daughter, went through years of being married without him drinking. Then about 6 months ago he started again. At first it was social so I didn’t mind much. But I explained to him That I would leave with the children if it got to the point it use to be. Then about 2 months ago, it started every day. Some days its only a few beers after work, and then some days its 18 beers after work. The thing is, He still gets up, he still goes to work, still is a good husband and father. So is it fair to him for this to bother me? As long as he is still doing everything that needs to be done, should I just let it go? It just scares me because he was HORRIBLE before we got married, and I am scared to death that this is going to happen again. He tells me it wont, but I cant help my fears. I refuse to let my children be around it. But as I said, at this point it effects nothing, I have no idea what to do?

Edit: He was drinking every day like a 30 pack and a fifth. At one point in time he was living on his friends couch. Then him and I got together and I told him I wouldnt be with him. He changed for SOOOO long. I dont mind a social drinker, but can you be a social drinker if you use to be an alcoholic? From what I see you cant be both. He has slipped a few other times. But it was a one day thing, he realized what he did and stopped. I feel like I am being unfair because he is still being a husband and father. Infact, he may be better with the kids now. I dont know anymore… advice?
it started with him thinking he could have a beer if we went out to dinner. as I said, it started as a social thing.

I dont deny it, I know its a problem. If I didnt know, I wouldnt have asked. The fact is getting him to see it as a problem, when it affects nothing in his life, that he can see.

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my mom is an alcoholic.. i had a talk with her and she didn’t hear me, do i need to do anything else?

  • Posted on March 22, 2011 at 4:17 pm

if you want back story here is my last question, it’s kinda long.

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Aq6Ox6230N0Ktt9pTrc5ll3sy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20091229195801AASrNVv

anyways i talked to her about the problems her drinking has caused.
poor judgment, being at the bar instead of with family on holidays, the poor example it sets for my kids…

she blamed me of course. she said i was judging her and i have no place to judge her for what she does on her free time. she even said my husband and i drink in front of our kids like on thanksgiving. well yeah, i had a glass of wine. but she spent thanksgiving at the bar and didn’t show up until hours after the meal… big difference. i am somewhat familiar with an alcoholic deflecting onto others.. she blamed everyone but herself, talked bad about everyone in my husband’s family (who by the way are wonderful people) so she didn’t look so bad… and then proceeded to ask for my daughter this weekend. -this was the basis of this talk in the first place. she can’t have either of my kids like this..

so from any of your experience, is there anything else i can or should do to make myself clear to her or is it a lost cause? part of me telling her about her problem was also so i could absolve myself of any guilt if/when she kills someone while driving drunk.. so should i just leave it at that and wait for her to come to her senses someday before i talk to her again? i’m just not sure, i feel like i owe her something, but at the same time i know i owe her nothing and that she will make her own bed.. i just don’t know.. my husband is ready to write her off. i don’t blame him and i almost agree. i just want to know i have done all i could.
your experience with an alcoholic is appreciated. thank you.

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Should I take the blame for something I didn’t do, if it means I can avoid breaking a promise?

  • Posted on March 12, 2011 at 3:20 pm

Out of me and my younger sister, I was always the ‘bad’ daughter, because I smoked cigarettes and weed, was addicted to amphetamines and opiods (including heroin, occasionally), was an alcoholic, and most of my friends were dealers. I was like that from about 13 til two months ago, when I suddenly had a change of heart (I’m almost 19 now). I’ve quit all drugs (apart from caffiene and nicotine :P) and quit drinking, cold turkey. I decided to be healthy, and on top of that, to be an honest person, and live in a moral way, so I could start making up for how awful I’d been in the past.

Part of my new life is my decision that I would NEVER break a promise, because I want to be honest. Another thing I decided was that I would do everything I could to avoid causing people harm, and I would protect and look after my family as best I could.

This is my problem: my 14yr old sister (who, as far as my mom knows, is 100% good and has never done anything wrong) came home from school stinking of weed. My mom smelled it, and immediately assumed it was me who had been smoking it, because of my past. I said I hadn’t been smoking weed (which is true), but she doesn’t believe me, and is pulling a huge guilt trip which is making me really upset. My sister told me that not only did she smoke weed today, but that she smokes it very often, and drinks. She’s planning to go out and get drunk and stoned tonight, having lied to my mum about where she’s going. But she made me PROMISE not to tell our parents any of this.

What is the right course of action here? I would hate to break my promise, but on the other hand, I’m afraid she might get hurt or go down the same path I did if I don’t break the promise. And that would break the vow I made to protect my loved ones. Also, it’s unfair that I should be punished for something I didn’t do.
But then again, I feel like it’s my fault that she’s got in with a bad crowd (a lot of her friends do drugs, and she’s started to help her dealer friends measuring, packing and moving the weed on), because of the awful role model set to her. Should I set that right by telling my mom and hoping she will stop my sister ending up like I did? Or should I just take the blame and do nothing?

What is the moral course of action here?

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Should I take the blame for something I didn’t do, if it means I can avoid breaking a promise?

  • Posted on March 11, 2011 at 5:20 pm

Out of me and my younger sister, I was always the ‘bad’ daughter, because I smoked cigarettes and weed, was addicted to amphetamines and opiods (including heroin, occasionally), was an alcoholic, and most of my friends were dealers. I was like that from about 13 til two months ago, when I suddenly had a change of heart (I’m almost 19 now). I’ve quit all drugs (apart from caffiene and nicotine :P) and quit drinking, cold turkey. I decided to be healthy, and on top of that, to be an honest person, and live in a moral way, so I could start making up for how awful I’d been in the past.

Part of my new life is my decision that I would NEVER break a promise, because I want to be honest. Another thing I decided was that I would do everything I could to avoid causing people harm, and I would protect and look after my family as best I could.

This is my problem: my 14yr old sister (who, as far as my mom knows, is 100% good and has never done anything wrong) came home from school stinking of weed. My mom smelled it, and immediately assumed it was me who had been smoking it, because of my past. I said I hadn’t been smoking weed (which is true), but she doesn’t believe me, and is pulling a huge guilt trip which is making me really upset. My sister told me that not only did she smoke weed today, but that she smokes it very often, and drinks. She’s planning to go out and get drunk and stoned tonight, having lied to my mum about where she’s going. But she made me PROMISE not to tell our parents any of this.

What is the right course of action here? I would hate to break my promise, but on the other hand, I’m afraid she might get hurt or go down the same path I did if I don’t break the promise. And that would break the vow I made to protect my loved ones. Also, it’s unfair that I should be punished for something I didn’t do.
But then again, I feel like it’s my fault that she’s got in with a bad crowd (a lot of her friends do drugs, and she’s started to help her dealer friends measuring, packing and moving the weed on), because of the awful role model set to her. Should I set that right by telling my mom and hoping she will stop my sister ending up like I did? Or should I just take the blame and do nothing?

What is the moral course of action here?

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What could someone do if they didn’t really have a family?

  • Posted on February 24, 2011 at 2:17 am

If dad was an alcoholic, disconnected, and just really didn’t want a daughter and mom was disabled and seriously addicted to pills which are eating her brain what would you do? Just this one factor in my life has made everything very difficult. I’m lost for an answer so please elaborate as much as possible.

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What could someone do if they didn’t really have a family?

  • Posted on February 22, 2011 at 6:17 am

If dad was an alcoholic, disconnected, and just really didn’t want a daughter and mom was disabled and seriously addicted to pills which are eating her brain what would you do? Just this one factor in my life has made everything very difficult. I’m lost for an answer so please elaborate as much as possible.

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My daughter’s father called to wish her Happy Birthday at 10:15pm. I didn’t answer the phone was that mean?

  • Posted on October 2, 2010 at 4:21 am

My husband and I have been separated for over 2 months, because of his methadone addiction. Anyway, he finally called our daughter who turned 3 yesterday to wish her a Happy Birthday at 10:15pm. I thought he was calling too late, so I didn’t answer the phone. Why call his daughter now and at such a late hour! He left a message wishing her Happy Birthday and that he loves, misses her and how he wishes he could be with her. Was it wrong of me not to answer the phone? Should I feel bad that he didn’t get to talk to her?
This morning I did let my daughter listen to the message. She was happy to hear his voice and she asked for him. They were very close. I told her that he was away at school and that she would see him again. I just didn’t say when.
My daughter was a sleep at 9:00pm and my husband already knows tha’ts the time she falls asleep.

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Why didn’t the pro illegal explain the law to Illegal alien Jesus Bernal drunk driving Killing TriState Couple

  • Posted on August 15, 2010 at 3:22 pm

CINCINNATI — A drunk driver with a history of offenses received the maximum sentence Saturday for killing a couple from Cincinnati.

The crash occurred in Florida last June.

Illegal immigrant Jesus Bernal admitted he was drunk when he crashed his pickup into James and Margie Rook. Bernal had two prior DUI convictions, and the judge sentenced him to 55 years in prison after he pleaded guilty last week to three counts of DUI manslaughter and two counts of DUI with serious bodily injury.

The Rooks died when Bernal’s pickup truck collided head-on with their car on U.S. Highway 331 in Walton County.

A daughter and her friend were seriously hurt in the crash.http://www.wlwt.com/news/14504576/detail.html

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