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Question on smoking during pregnancy? Plz help…?

  • Posted on January 31, 2011 at 7:21 am

I don’t smoke , I have tried it when younger and never liked it. My sister is 27 yrs. Old and pregnant with her 2 daughter. She never smoked during her first pregnancy but she has used heroin about 2 years ago on and off for about a year. She has been clean since march when she found out she was pregnant, we are extremely proud of her abstinence, but most of all her choice to take this step in the right directio,and also the bravery to tell us, and have the proof that she has been cleaned since she was the one that took the steps to be clean and is drug tested every week, and is actually back to the person we knew with her job and school and things like that. The problem is that she can’t stop smoking! And the doctor advised her not to use any over the counter stuff just to quit!!! She says that she feels like smoking after taking subutex which is what she is on and will be on until about 2 months after baby is born… has anyone smoked during their pregnancy? Was the child affected? Was the baby ok? I don’t mean to sound ignorant but I just don’t know anyone who smoked during pregnancy… also I am asking because at the 29th week checkup the baby was a little underweight and now the doctor wants another ultrasound just to watch out for growth? Has this happened 2 anyone? Pls answere and thank you in advance.. also want to say that she has only 2 months 2 go is there anything she could do to make the baby stronger? Anything she should eat? Etc…

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My husband just admitted he did cocaine during Summer (20 times) He has been depressed for a while….?

  • Posted on January 15, 2011 at 1:21 pm

I asked him to go to his mothers for a while until we decide what to do. I have my 13 year old daughters (not his) in the house. He has been depressed for years and just recently started going to see someone for help…I pushed him so much. He says he hasnt done cocaine since October but do you think he can just stop doing cocaine if he did it 20 times..I am so mad too because when it was going on & I didnt know. I think he is ready to get help he has been depressed since he was young and its affected our marriage – I feel awful for kicking him out yesterday but what do I do? I am tired but i know I am one of the people that can help him but do I stay in this marriage??? I want to help him but I want out of the marriage

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During my divorce my ex husband who was on parole at the time tested positive for pot. He won. What do I do?

  • Posted on November 7, 2010 at 12:22 am

My ex filed for divorce after he got out of prison while my daughter was visiting him. He placed a restraining order against me so I couldn’t see her. I tried to get legal aide but there were no funds available so I represented myself. In court he tested positive for marijuana while on Parole. I have no record other than a DWI in 1998. My husband was awarded the right to designate where she lives and I got standard visitation. He continues to with hold visitation and has from the beginning. I have since moved several counties away and now want someone to review the facts of the case. The baliff testified and lied in court so I need someone out of that county to review everything.

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is there a way our daughter can still “communicate” on her cell phone during restricted times?

  • Posted on October 10, 2010 at 7:19 am

we have a 14 year old daughter that is “addicted” to her cell phone…there has been months where she has made 8,000 text messages…she was texting during school, and even at hours like 2 am…her grades were suffering, and she was losing much sleep…i did put time restrictions on her phone for when she was to be sleeping and when she was in school…i personally would have restricted her cell phone to being able to just call her mother and me and 911, but of course “mommy” wouldn’t allow that…of course our kid has the latest and greatest phones that cost hundreds of dollars…(if it were me i would not allow that, but her mother has to “get the best for her little darling!)…well, with that expensive phone we have to pay 25 bucks a month for her to have “data” so that she can do what ever she wants on the internet…ok, enough background on the situation?…my question is even though i have her talk and texting restricted during certain time periods, is there another way she can get around that with the high tech phone she has now?…on our billing records it shows that she isn’t using any time for her “data” pack…i know she gets on the internet on her phone, and also she emails from her phone as well…how is that not showing up as data usage?…has she found someway to get around our restrictions?…any ideas how she is doing this if she is?…i truly don’t want her failing classes again this year because she can’t keep herself from her phone!…

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I was bad during first sex with girl .. need advice?

  • Posted on October 1, 2010 at 9:25 am

Okay. I am only 25 and a guy. Been married since I was 23, been with the girl I was married to altogether since I was 20. Recently got a divorce. I am an attractive guy, but I guess I have no confidence. Anyways, I met this girl that I know through friends .. she is what I call a “respectable” woman, same age as me. She has a 6 y/o daughter and I have a 2 y/o. Anyways, we kinda hit it off .. never talked on phone, hung out before date like twice. First time, just being drunk at a bar – thats when we hit it off. Second time at a bar and we just talked and hung out. I asked her out on a date, she said yes. We texted like twice. On date night, I took her to a sushi restaraunt and then we went to a bar and I got plastered and I believe she did too. She took me to her house and I stayed the night, right when we got into her bed we kissed for the first time and within seconds we started having sex. Well, sex was pretty awkward because I was plastered drunk and I assume she was too. All she did was lay there and she had it completely dark where I couldnt see my hand in front of me. Well, 20 minutes into it she said we had to stop because she was dry and too tired .. then we started again .. but we both had so much dry mouth we couldnt even kiss then I gave up and said okay because she she had to be up like in 3 to 4 hrs to go out of town to a college football game. Anyways, she took me home and I got her a quick breakfast. I said i had a nice time and we should do it again. She said next weekend she has her kid but next weekend she won’t (i believe). Well, I hadn’t talked to her in 4 days, since then, and I texted her today and said hope you had a good labor day. she said she did and asked if i did. and we swapped like 2 more texts. To the point, what would a girl think in that situation? I mean, I’ve been out of the game for 4 years and I pretty much want some redemption sex to make up and show her I’m not lame in bed and I enjoyed her company besides that. I was shocked I got into bed that quickly with her. But what can I do to get another chance with her. Should I text her and go “we should hang out again but this time i won’t get so drunk” .. I just need advice.

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Is it illegal for an attorney to say someone is a known meth user during a sentencing hearing for someone else

  • Posted on September 16, 2010 at 6:20 am

I want to know if it was legal for an attorney to tell the judge and the court and all visitors that someone is a “known meth user” when they aren’t? It hasn’t caused any legal problems it’s just embarassing. I want to know what rights I have. Can I sue him for slander? How do I get him to take it back so to speak? Please….pretty please, I have a daughter and I don’t want her to think I use Methamphetemine!!!!!!!

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Question about pumping during the day?

  • Posted on September 15, 2010 at 7:24 pm

This is my first week back to work and I’ve been pumping. My daughter only drank 8oz of breastmilk on Monday when she was with my MIL. Then Tuesday and Wednesday she drank 12oz. Yesterday she drank 16 oz but only because I think one of the teachers in the daycare thought she was on a 2.5 hour schedule and just started feeding her every 2.5 hours, hungry or not…anywho. I am not pumping this much during the day. I’m pumping first thing in the morning and getting about 2oz per side. So that’s one feeding, but I’m only getting another 6 oz or so throught the day. I had about 40oz stored up on Monday and currently only have about 8 oz in my fridge. I used all the supply I had by yesterday and then started using what I had pumped this week yesterday and today. Is my supply going to change now that I’m pumping during the day and breastfeeding at night. I’ve never had a problem with my daughter getting enough from me. Is it just going to take some time for my body to get used to it being different? Should I go buy some fenugreek? I now have the weekend to get a little bit of a supply built up, but I’m worried that by now pumping during the day that my milk is going to dry up or something. I dont like this at all.

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Doctor who prescribes diet pills during pregnancy and women who take them?

  • Posted on July 30, 2010 at 7:21 pm

My mother in law is 72 years old now, but 54 years ago she was a newly wed starting a family. Her first child was a big baby. When she became pregnant with her second child, she begged her doctor to help her have a smaller baby. Her OB/GYN prescribed diet pills and she took those little pills during her entire pregnancy. Her baby girl was huge in spite of those diet pills.

After my sister in law was born, my mother in law said the baby cried constantly. Once they got home from the hospital, my mother law says that my sister in law slept all the time. From birth until age 12, my sister law’s favorite place was her bed. She slept constantly. Even now, at age 51, her favorite pass time is sleeping.

During adolescence and young adult hood, my sister in law became addicted to methamphetamine. She said taking the drug made her feel normal. She is now a recovering drug addict and alcoholic, but she still misses the drugs. Her daughter, my niece, is also a methamphetamine addict. My niece spent two years in prison for criminal activity associated with drug abuse. The cycle continues.

Is there anyway possible the diet pills my mother in law took during her pregnancy 52 years ago could have caused my sister in law’s drug addiction and subsequently my niece’s drug addiction?

I can’t help but wonder. Although I have suggested this possibility to my mother in law, she thinks it is far fetched. She also doesn’t think taking those diet pills while pregnant was wrong — she has justified it as being prescribed by her doctor and she was just following his instruction.

Could there be a connection?

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Diet pills during pregnancy?

  • Posted on July 29, 2010 at 10:21 pm

My mother in law is 72 years old now, but 54 years ago she was a newly wed starting a family. Her first child was a big baby. When she became pregnant with her second child, she begged her doctor to help her have a smaller baby. Her OB/GYN prescribed diet pills and she took those little pills during her entire pregnancy. Her baby girl was huge in spite of those diet pills.

After my sister in law was born, my mother in law said the baby cried constantly. Once they got home from the hospital, my mother law says that my sister in law slept all the time. From birth until age 12, my sister law’s favorite place was her bed. She slept constantly. Even now, at age 51, her favorite pass time is sleeping.

During adolescence and young adult hood, my sister in law became addicted to methamphetamine. She said taking the drug made her feel normal. She is now a recovering drug addict and alcoholic, but she still misses the drugs. Her daughter, my niece, is also a methamphetamine addict. My niece spent two years in prison for criminal activity associated with drug abuse. The cycle continues.

Is there anyway possible the diet pills my mother in law took during her pregnancy 52 years ago could have caused my sister in law’s drug addiction and subsequently my niece’s drug addiction?

I can’t help but wonder. Although I have suggested this possibility to my mother in law, she thinks it is far fetched. She also doesn’t think taking those diet pills while pregnant was wrong — she has justified it as being prescribed by her doctor and she was just following his instruction.

Could there be a connection?

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Ten Tips for Keeping Peace in the Family during the Holidays

  • Posted on January 13, 2010 at 8:24 am

 

Media images of the holidays are often exaggerated and, before you know it, you’re trying to conform to unrealistic ideals. Combined with the added pressures and demands on your time, this can lead to emotional overload. Just remember that nothing is perfect.

 

Now that the holiday season is swiftly approaching, perhaps you’re worried that your dysfunctional family dynamics will surface as soon as you get together. Do you think that your mother’s inquisitive nature may scare off the first boyfriend your daughter’s had in years? Or that your new son-in-law’s parents will wonder why your 35 year old son has moved back home again? Following these common sense strategies will help you create a more serene holiday season for you and your family:

 

1. Realize that the anticipatory anxiety you are experiencing is common. Financial burdens around gift giving and extra chores when entertaining can make you feel apprehensive and stressed. Accept this as a normal reaction.

 

2. Make sure that you have realistic expectations and don’t take everything personally. Some family members may be struggling with financial, business or marital issues that have nothing to do with you.

 

3. You don’t have to be all things to all people all the time. If your favorite aunt doesn’t get along with her ex-husband’s new wife, don’t invite them to dinner. It will make it easier for everyone to have an open mind and an accepting heart.

 

4. Put aside differences and avoid hot button issues. Sibling rivalry and unfinished family business are bound to surface. Despite how hard it may be, go for the higher ground and walk away from misunderstandings. But agree to finish the conversation at a later time.

 

5. Conversely, with a relationship that matters to you, bury the hatchet. If in the past you have stifled your feelings and then blown up later, don’t let your emotions fester. Admit the part you play in the conflict, privately, and deal with it.

 

6. If there is tension in the room, take the focus away from the specific toward the abstract. For example, talk about the value of apologizing for some wrongdoing. Then encourage others to discuss how this kind of quality has enhanced their other personal relationships.

 

7. Consider what you love about your family and let them know how grateful you are they’re a part of your life. Be sure to point out their positive qualities and personal strengths rather than focusing on the negatives.

 

8. Practice letting go of childhood pain and longings when family members are not with you in person but in your memories. And realize that having feelings of gratitude and forgiveness are a gift you give yourself.

 

9. Be a role model for your children. Teach them by example as you take care of your aging parents, lend a helping hand to a neighbor or work on having a positive attitude.

 

10. If you feel ready to pass the baton to the younger generation, do it. Encourage your kidults as they preserve the old family traditions. Express your appreciation and support while they create new holiday customs of their own.

 

In the midst of taking care of your family’s needs during this hectic season, remember to pay attention to your own wellbeing. Arrange to plan ahead and, when they offer, accept help from others. If it’s in line with your values, put the focus on giving as well as receiving – encourage social responsibility by visiting an elderly uncle or volunteering at a local food bank. And try to include fun and laughter in all that you do. During the holidays, while you may wish for peace on earth and peace in your family, don’t overlook the importance of your own peace of mind.

 

© 2009, Her Mentor Center

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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