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My partner is being used by her children, her daughter goes out most evenings leaving her 1 year old with us.?

  • Posted on January 3, 2010 at 10:06 am

My partner is a divorcee with two children, her daughter is a single parent, unemployed, living at home with us and her young baby, and a son who also lives at home with us, he works full time. My partner is lovely and will help anybody, but her daughter plays on this and goes out most nights, asking my partner & I to baby sit. Her daughter pays £30 a week keep for the baby and herself to cover everything, poll tax, rent, food, heating, gas, electricity, etc. Her daughter came back last night drunk and was sick all her her bed which is now ruined. We paid for the bed, and I feel my partner bears the brunt of looking after the baby, for example, we were all going to a christening and my partner was struggling to look after the baby whilst drying her hair, so I offered to look after him. I asked why her daughter wasn’t taking care of the baby and I was told, beacause she is drying her hair. Every time we go out, we have to make sure it’s only when her daughter is ok to look after her own baby. Also last winter her daughter received a cold weather payment of £25 to help with the heating, however she didn’t give the cheque to her mother (she pays all the utility bills), and instead went down the pub and spent it. Surely I’m right to question this?

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TV Free evenings!

  • Posted on July 1, 2009 at 10:12 pm

1 Try to avoid exposing your children to too much news. Most stories focus on disasters and negative pictures of world events. More and more children are becoming anxious about world events and this anxiety is causing an effect on their happiness and school work.

2 Avoid allowing children to eat dinners or snack in front of the TV. Not only does this reduce the amount of social interaction and family chats, but also encourages children to eat mindlessly which can lead to overeating.

3 Take televisions out of the bedrooms. Keeping TVs in bedroom makes it so much easier for children to watch programs that are not suitable. TV before bedtime, is not a relaxing activity as it the flickering screen and fast moving stills stimulate the mind rather than it calm down. (You could however try the Relax Kids DVD, which is full of lovely animated meditations, which are both calming and restorative).

4 Make a list of all the activities that you could do as a family with the TV switched off. Reading, games, colouring, puzzles, cooking, crafts, walks, bike rides, family chats. Have a chat with your children and see if they can come up with any other alternative activities they would like to do. When the children enjoy spending quality time with you, they will forget the addictive flickering cartoons.

5 Try introducing 5-10 mins of relaxation together. Dim the lights, put on some classical or chill out music and allow everyone to sit comfortably. You could try reading a Relax Kids relaxation (see below), or just sit still listening to the music. Ask the family to close their eyes and listen to the sounds in the room or practice deep breathing. You might like to try a CD such as Relax and De-stress for older children or Quiet Spaces for younger children.

SINKING
Close your eyes and be very still. You are very quiet and calm and relaxed. Now just imagine your body is so relaxed that you feel as if you are slowly sinking into the ground. The bed or chair that you are on
feels very warm and comfortable and safe. Now, let your feet become heavy and relaxed, and feel them slowly sinking downwards. Down, down, down they go, as they become heavier and heavier. Now let your legs become heavy and sink downwards. Now, let your back softly sink down deeper and deeper. Relax, relax, relax. Your arms feel heavy and are sinking. Relax, relax, relax. Your head is heavy and relaxes deeply. Feel your eyes becoming heavy, feel your lips and jaw becoming heavy, feel your cheeks becoming heavy, feel your forehead becoming heavy. Stay in this wonderful deep relaxation for as long as you wish. All the muscles in your whole body are completely relaxed as you enjoy the feeling of sinking deeply. Repeat to yourself, I let go, I let go , I let go. Take in a deep breath and as you breathe out slowly, feel yourself becoming more and more relaxed. Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out. Relax relax relax.
Extract from The Wishing Star book and Quiet Spaces CD

http://www.relaxkids.com/library/article.aspx?number=49

Article Source: TV Free evenings!

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