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After being friends with benefits … now he wants a date to feel more comfortable. Guys, please explain!?

  • Posted on December 14, 2010 at 3:25 pm

I have a friends with benefits thing going with this guy I fell for … We met nearly a year ago through mutual friends. At first he was intent on cultivating a relationship and he knew that I was a believer in sex until marriage, despite the fact that he’s the opposite when it comes to such things. I slowly realized that I had a deep and profound attraction for him and we began hooking up, even after we broke up. He told me he didn’t have the time at the moment because of his daughter, and I tried to understand that, so much in fact that I still saw him once in awhile. I decided to give him my virginity one night, after a friend’s wedding, which MIGHT sound stupid but you have to realize that in my mind I really did care for him. Since then we’ve had sex a couple of more times, but most of the time he’s always intoxicated (I’ve also come to realize that he’s also an alcoholic). Yesterday night I wanted to talk to him face to face and surprisingly he hadn’t been drinking! He told me that he doesn’t want to have sex anymore and would rather go out on a couple of dates to get to know each other (which we had done in the past). I agreed that it would be a great option and that I had always been seeking something like that from the start. He’s not sure if he’s ready for a serious relationship but he wants to lay down a foundation. He also told me that if things weren’t to work out I will probably forget about him fast, since the first person you lose your virginity to always seems to be the hardest to forget … but that sooner or later I will probably find someone else whom I will have sex with and he’ll be part of the past. Now here’s the strange part, 15 minutes later he comes out from the bathroom and tells me that he actually does want to have sex. I ask him why the sudden change and he just kisses me. The next thing I know we’re having sex but he ejaculates so soon, there’s no time for me to enjoy ANYTHING (like in two minutes). He blames it on the fact that he’s not drunk (he says he lasts longer then), that he feels guilt about not laying this and that foundation, and also says that he was just too turned on by me to be able to control himself. I’ve decided to leave him behind in the past and move on. I just want to know from a guy’s point of view … why he all of a sudden wanted to “build a foundation” (if that was even true)? Also, did he “really” feel guilty enough that he ejaculated that soon? I just want some people’s perspectives! Please refrain from making rude comments. You can be blunt but remember, when you think you’re in love you do a lot of things you may or may not regret (in my case, I don’t regret them I just want some insight into this). Thanks in advance!
I’m sorry about the format, I realize I should have put it into paragraphs. No, he’s not married (I would never date a married man). He does have a daughter with his ex-fiancee.

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Christians…. please explain

  • Posted on November 5, 2010 at 5:24 am

the following are two accounts of true experiences of NDE’s.
I know the Atheist view is that we have a few minutes of brain activity prior to ceasing to exist…I am interested and this is targeted toward christians who believe you have to ask to be saved for heaven.

1. 1952….he lay dying on his couch, he had never opened a bible, set foot in a church, or been baptised. In fact, he had never even spoken about God to anyone. Further more, he despised religion. His daughter asked him if she could get him anything, he asked for a glass of water. when she returned with it, he said….”I dont need that water, I am drinking from a fountain that will never run dry”. and closed his eyes in death. He was however, a kind and generous man.

2. 1991…she was a whore, by christian standards. she partied, did drugs, etc etc…. she hated God and wasnt even sure he existed. and if he did, he wasnt much of a god. The car wreck, stopped her heart. what she seen next, was an angel, and her life pass before her eyes. she signed her name in a book and was about to enter heaven, when she decided she couldnt leave her son behind. she had perffect peace, and was told it was beautiful there and wanted to go in.

I am curious about these, because most christian doctrines teach that you have to accept the Lord in order to be saved… yet the verse in revelation that they take this from, simply says, to the churches to clean themselves up and the lord would come in and dine with them. If you have to accept Jesus in order to get into heaven, how is it possible that these two religious rejects, were entering into heaven without ever accepting Jesus? But, both, though admitted sinners, were kind and loving people.?
C…of course….I mean, YOU couldnt be wrong….could you?
Hokey…the second story, not only was she not given a choice…even when she returned to the living, she still did not accept Jesus….
Helives….point blank…. the 2nd story…..the last words out of her mouth, were.YOU Fing A$$hole…trust me..no acceptance there at all.
DIXIE…the 2nd story was ME………I did NOT accept anything. thats not an assumption…thats a fact.

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Christians…. please explain

  • Posted on November 5, 2010 at 5:24 am

the following are two accounts of true experiences of NDE’s.
I know the Atheist view is that we have a few minutes of brain activity prior to ceasing to exist…I am interested and this is targeted toward christians who believe you have to ask to be saved for heaven.

1. 1952….he lay dying on his couch, he had never opened a bible, set foot in a church, or been baptised. In fact, he had never even spoken about God to anyone. Further more, he despised religion. His daughter asked him if she could get him anything, he asked for a glass of water. when she returned with it, he said….”I dont need that water, I am drinking from a fountain that will never run dry”. and closed his eyes in death. He was however, a kind and generous man.

2. 1991…she was a whore, by christian standards. she partied, did drugs, etc etc…. she hated God and wasnt even sure he existed. and if he did, he wasnt much of a god. The car wreck, stopped her heart. what she seen next, was an angel, and her life pass before her eyes. she signed her name in a book and was about to enter heaven, when she decided she couldnt leave her son behind. she had perffect peace, and was told it was beautiful there and wanted to go in.

I am curious about these, because most christian doctrines teach that you have to accept the Lord in order to be saved… yet the verse in revelation that they take this from, simply says, to the churches to clean themselves up and the lord would come in and dine with them. If you have to accept Jesus in order to get into heaven, how is it possible that these two religious rejects, were entering into heaven without ever accepting Jesus? But, both, though admitted sinners, were kind and loving people.?
C…of course….I mean, YOU couldnt be wrong….could you?
Hokey…the second story, not only was she not given a choice…even when she returned to the living, she still did not accept Jesus….
Helives….point blank…. the 2nd story…..the last words out of her mouth, were.YOU Fing A$$hole…trust me..no acceptance there at all.
DIXIE…the 2nd story was ME………I did NOT accept anything. thats not an assumption…thats a fact.

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How to explain to kids that dad is leaving?

  • Posted on September 17, 2010 at 4:32 pm

Ok for some that have known my questions know that I have been having a pretty rocky marriage with my husband due to his alcoholism. I do believe he has gotten better about drinking and I actually tought things where going to be alright, he was spending more time with us, drinking on occasions but by no means getting drunk, got another job to support us financially since I quit my job to dedicate myself to my two children (5 and 2) and to nursing school. I am also currently 21 weeks pregnant with our third child. Last weekend he told me he was going to take our oldest daughter to a rodeo so she could ride horses (my daughter LOVES horses) and have a dad-daughter day with him. I was excited for them and happy he took the initiative to want to spend time with her….well it went completely wrong, my husband got extrememly drunk, throwing up, passed out, him and his cousin drove back home drunk with my daughter in the backseat! I was horrified when I found this out later….I saw that they got dropped out but after waiting 20 min noticed that they where still out there, so curious me (it was already very late by the way) went outside to see what was going out and found my husband passed out in his car, and my daughter sitting in his lap playing with the car lights….I was FURIOUS!!!! Words cannot explain how dissapointed I was!!

Long story short, next day he is talking about how ashamed he is and he doesn’t deserve to be with us and hurt us the way he has. He’s talking about leaving and I’m letting him! He was crying like a baby and I didn’t care, I don’t feel sorry for him whatsoever. I don’t care that I am pregnant and don’t have a job…I just want him out! I do feel sorry for the children because my 5yr old daughter is starting to understand what is going one. She saw her dad crying and talking about leaving and kept asking about him all night long, she said “I think my dad is crying because he loves us and wants to be a part of the family”…how do I explain to her what is going on? or that her dad is going to leave? will she be able to cope with it? and how will I be able to cope with unemployment, pregnant and single!!!

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Why didn’t the pro illegal explain the law to Illegal alien Jesus Bernal drunk driving Killing TriState Couple

  • Posted on August 15, 2010 at 3:22 pm

CINCINNATI — A drunk driver with a history of offenses received the maximum sentence Saturday for killing a couple from Cincinnati.

The crash occurred in Florida last June.

Illegal immigrant Jesus Bernal admitted he was drunk when he crashed his pickup into James and Margie Rook. Bernal had two prior DUI convictions, and the judge sentenced him to 55 years in prison after he pleaded guilty last week to three counts of DUI manslaughter and two counts of DUI with serious bodily injury.

The Rooks died when Bernal’s pickup truck collided head-on with their car on U.S. Highway 331 in Walton County.

A daughter and her friend were seriously hurt in the crash.http://www.wlwt.com/news/14504576/detail.html

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How Do I Explain Ecstasy To My Daughter?

  • Posted on July 25, 2010 at 1:27 pm

How Do I Explain Ecstasy To My Daughter?[She's 15]
She Really Wants To Know.

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My daughter feels unloved. How do I explain being an alcoholic to a four year old?

  • Posted on January 2, 2010 at 12:12 pm

Last night was sad, and unfortunately not too uncommon. (it isn’t an every day thing, but still… it happens a few times a month and I wish i could help.)

My daughter and I were sitting on the couch watching a movie. In it, a man put his life in danger to save a girl. My kid bursted out crying. I thought maybe the scene was too scary. When I tried to comfort her, she said she wished that her dad loved her that much.

He has not lived with us since 2003. He wants to, but I will not allow it. He is an alcoholic, and he has proven himself to be dangerous when he drinks. He has been to rehab, but I have still caught him drinking and been told that he makes threats behind my back. I do encourage him to see her sometimes with my supervision, but she just can’t understand and I don’t know what to do.

I tell her that her father loves her. He wants to be with us, but when he drinks beer he does not think straight. Then she asks why can’t we just take away his beer so he will be better.
Wow. Y’all have some great answers coming in! I wanted to put more details earlier but yahoo has a 1000 character limit. I am considerint therapy, but my daughter is very shy around strangers. I have tried telling her that her dad is sick, but she things that “sick” means you get better. The truth is, he doesn’t want to admit to his problems. He said the right things to get out of rehab, but he didn’t mean them.

Someone asked how violent he is… A friend of mine got hurt a few times defending me when he got mad or “playful.” He said he wanted to go to rehab so I didn’t call the cops. But then he said he could quit on his own – he didn’t. The night we officially broke up, I got a broken wrist and several smaller injuries and a policeman got broken ribs keeping my child safe. And my ex still says that he did the right thing that night! He think sthat he is the victim. My daughter did not even want to have anything to do with him for months. Now… She just wants him to express love.

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How do I explain to my daughter her biological father is an irresponsible SOB?

  • Posted on January 2, 2010 at 4:01 am

I have an 8 year old girl. Her biological father has never taken any responsibility on her up bringing. He left us when she was 3 years old. When he left, she actually said “Mommy Thank God he left, now you will sleep better” Now I have a boyfriend for the past 3 years. We are doing great and my girl calls him daddy. I have not let my ex talk to my girl because he has not pay his share. Las night my girl was very sad because her Biological Dad does not love her anymore because he has not called. I told her I am the one that is not letting him talk to her because he is not being responsible. It caught me off guard I and want to make the best out this. I do not want me her to feel unloved, but I can not let her Biological father fill my girl’s mind with false promises or expose her to his drug addition. Plus it bothers me that he has never been a responsible father.

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