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Foster Parenting: Let A Child Experience A Safer Environment

  • Posted on July 3, 2009 at 3:42 am

A family is supposedly composed of a loving mother, a hardworking father, and happy children. Well, at least this is the idea behind having a family. Although expected to be, families aren’t always that ideal. However, its imperfection and flaws that make them unique and one of a kind. In the real world, families come in all its different forms, some are a little bit odd while others are fairly simple. But whatever they are comprised of and what ever they will be in the near future, they are still our own little family.

One unique type of family is foster parenting. Foster parenting provides temporary habitation, home, and care for children in crisis. It is part of the children’s treatment, care, and support programs. However, if you think the foster parenting is only a mere unreceptive act of opening your abodes, providing comfortable clothing, and giving the children nourishing food, you are absolutely wrong. For some couples, it is even the closest thing and a supposed first step towards adoption.

Instead, foster parenting is a proactive testimonial of advocacy, nurturing, and love for these children. It may be ideal for couples to be foster parents; however this is not for everyone. If you think that foster parenting is just as easy as 1, 2, 3, you are absolutely wrong. There are certain requirements that need to be accounted for and each requirement varies by jurisdiction. It may be surrounded by principles such as monetary reimbursements or benefits to be given out to the foster family. The primary goal of foster care is to provide support for the children while the reunification with their parents, other family members, or any appropriate permanent living setting is still facilitated. This includes guardianship, placement with relatives, or to an adoptive home.

Children who are brought for foster parenting are the ones that were removed from their birth family due to reasons of abandonment, neglect, abuse, and other matters that endangers their lives and health. Most of these children are filled with confusion, anger, and fear for having been taken away from their only home. Some of them have physical, emotional, developmental, and behavioral problems making it more complicated for foster parents to take care of them.

Nevertheless, they all need supportive and safe environment to go through life and foster parenting is their closest thing to home for the mean time. The children have all the right in the world to live happy and safely away from threat which they unfortunately once called home.

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Article Source: Foster Parenting: Let A Child Experience A Safer Environment

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Panic Attacks – What Do I Do To Stop Them?

  • Posted on July 2, 2009 at 2:20 pm

Some people go years upon years of experiencing Panic Attacks in their every day life including when they are sleeping.

From the research I’ve done on the subject, because of my own panic attacks, I’ve found that when you are put in a situation where you are not comfortable and your “fight or flight” hormones kick in, your mind remembers. Your memories are stored in your brain like a huge file cabinet. Every time something happens to you that seems remotely like a past situation, your body responds the same way.

After three long years of having what would seem to other people a string of bad experiences, I finally had to figure out what was happening and why up until 2003, I had what I thought was a great life…
Marriage was wonderful.
Job was great (started my own business in 2002).
My children were thriving and excelling at everything they tried (I worked at home and was able to be with them when they weren’t at school).
My bills were paid and my credit was wonderful.

Then things changed…2003 started a three year streak of bad luck. One day my husband told me that his ex wife had contacted him (after not hearing from her for over 10 years). He was excited…I was sick. I had had a terrible divorce because of other women being involved. That started my panic attacks. Once the attacks started, every time I heard the ex’s name, I would start sweating and get nauseous. My heart would start beating extremely hard and I would have to lay down to stop the attack. We argued constantly and our married life fell apart.

To shorten up a long story, eventually my husband left me to go back to his ex wife. I continued to have panic attacks every time I was in a situation I thought I couldn’t handle. The next year was a very hard year for me. I got another divorce, I had two family members pass away, I met another man from a new town and moved my family to be with the new beau, and I quit my business that was failing. My children were acting up all the time and I really felt like I had lost all grip on my life and what I was doing with my life. I continued to have panic attacks due to the new relationship. I would do everything I could to sabotage it. I would start fights and threaten to leave. Panic attacks were so bad I felt like committing suicide to end them, all because I was scared to be in another relationship where I felt I had to watch out for past girlfriends and ex wives.

After a lot of soul searching, meditating, and several herbal therapies, I had slowed the frequency of having panic attacks that were stemming from past experiences. It wasn’t until I heard about Joe Barry that I finally cured the panic attacks.

I have started a new life with a new husband and my children are happy and healthy again. My life is back on track for growth and new experiences without the constant worry of the dreaded panic disorder.

If you are experiencing what you think are panic attacks, (I used to call them mental meltdowns), then click here for more information on how to cure yourself but only if you’re ready to start living without so much fear in your life.

JPerez is a mom of two that enjoys research and writing. For more articles about life experiences, please visit her blog at http://momsadviceforlife.wordpress.com

Article Source: Panic Attacks – What Do I Do To Stop Them?

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How to Find a Good Daycare Provider

  • Posted on July 2, 2009 at 7:15 am

Everyone has heard the horror stories of child abuse at the hands of an au pair or other type daycare provider. You don’t want your children to become victims. You can take measures to ensure, to the best of your ability, that this doesn’t happen.

There are many, many considerations you will need to weigh heavily before you deposit your child in the hands of a stranger. Below are some issues you’ll want to deliberate on when selecting a daycare provider:

* Will you hire someone to come in and watch your children, or will you take your kids to a daycare provider? Regardless, you’ll need to make sure that the daycare provider is a U.S. citizen, or that the daycare provider has legal papers to work in the U.S.
* If taking your children to a daycare center or provider, do you want the location to be near where you live or where you work?
* Is it important to you to have your child around a lot of other children or just a few?
* Make a list of your preferences.
* Ask neighbors, friends and family members if they know of a good provider.
* Call Childcare Aware Hotline at (800) 424-2246 to find a local provider network near you. The local provider network will refer you to local registered or licensed daycare providers.
* Once you have decided where you want your daycare provider located (near home or work), decide on three providers to research. Prioritize your list from one to three based on the limited information you have about the providers.
* If considering an in-home daycare:
* How old is the daycare provider? Sometimes it works out better for you if the daycare provider is around your own age. You may have more in common and have a better rapport with someone who is closer to your own age.
* Check the ages of the children in the daycare. It is typically a more conducive environment for your child if there are other children your own child’s age.
* Talk to the daycare provider and obtain the following information:
* At least three references of parents who have used the daycare for over a year.
* Find out if you can you drop by unannounced at anytime. If not, ditch the daycare. If so, visit several times unannounced at different periods over several weeks’ time – e.g., during after snack time, during lunch, during naptime. Make sure one of your visits is when parents are dropping off their children, so you can talk to the parents. Ask them why they use the center and how satisfied they are with the care provided.
* Tour the daycare center. Is there a play area outside with play equipment? Is there also a designated play area inside? Is there a separate area for the babies as opposed to the older children? Several baby beds? Is there a separate quiet nap area for the older children? Mats for napping?
* Ask about learning activities for your child’s age. Request the weekly agenda of activities and menu for meals. Make sure you visit during one of these events and meals.
* Does your child have any special needs? If so, make sure the provider is able to accommodate them.
* Is the daycare provider licensed? If the state in which you live requires licensing, then do your homework and check with the state to see if the daycare provider is licensed. Also, ask if there are any noted problems with the daycare. There are typically some exceptions to the day care licensing laws – e.g., two or less children 20 hours or less a week, providing care for relatives.
* Is the daycare provider insured? You’ll want to ask for a copy of their insurance of certificate, and call their insurance provider to make sure it is currently in force.
* Also, do a search on the Internet for any positive or negative information on the daycare center and its director. It is possible you may find something.
* There are childcare associations that require accountability that you may want to inquire of like the National Association for the Education of Young Children (NAEYC) or the National Association of Family Child Care (NAFCC). If your daycare provider is a member, you are fortunate.

You can’t cover all the bases. You can, however, do your due diligence to find the most qualified daycare provider possible for your child. Once you’ve done your part, decide on the daycare provider that meets most, if not all, of your expectations.

It doesn’t end there. Remember to drop in unannounced occasionally throughout the timeframe your child is being cared for in the daycare. If you find consistent care, this will ensure your confidence that the daycare provider you chose is the right one.

Insidedallasrealestate is a site devoted to the Dallas real estate market. It has a search of the Dallas MLS along with updated market stats on their real estate blog.

Article Source: How to Find a Good Daycare Provider

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Your Personal Identity: How Do You Define Yourself?

  • Posted on July 1, 2009 at 9:04 pm

In 2004, I lost my $3 million business in a vindictive lawsuit that also led to me losing my marriage and all of my savings. While I could easily give up and crawl into a corner somewhere, how I choose to frame these events is entirely up to me. While I can’t control what other people do, I can control how I choose to frame or view what is happening.

People marveled at my positive attitude in losing everything. My response is, “What’s the alternative?” The way I choose to frame these events is that losing everything is a fascinating process. I’m not trying to say I didn’t have stress. No way. Pepto Bismol was always within arms reach. But I found it amazing how people respond when you go from being the top guy to having all of your resources taken from you. In the majority of the cases, the friends and family members who I would have bet money would try to help out completely abandoned me while people I hardly knew stepped up big time.

Let me tell you. Having to empty your savings, your children’s college funds and going from debt free to $750,000 in debt in three years is a very painful experience. However, I refuse to allow those events to define me anymore than I would allow my successes to define me. All that matters is how I respond to these events. All I can control is my patterns of thought and behavior.

The first 20-years of my training, the martial arts defined who I was. I used the martial arts to transform myself from chubby teenager to athletic “karate jock.” Martial arts was virtually all I talked about. All my friends were martial artists. Even if I went to a volleyball tournament, it was usually with a bunch of black belts. It wasn’t until I launched the National Association of Professional Martial Artists (NAPMA) in 1993 that I began to realize that, while martial arts helped me to reinvent myself identity, the job was only half-done. I had to reintegrate my martial arts with my inner self so that martial arts became a facet of who I was, not the entire definition.

When good or bad things happen to you it’s important that you not let them define you. Being a champion black belt on TV was my identity for years. If you are allowing your success to be your identity, then your hiding your real self. Think about film stars who choose not to live in Hollywood. They view their stardom as an extension of who they are instead of the definition of their identity. Sandra Bullock lives in Texas and it’s pretty clear when you see her in interviews that she views acting as a high paying job she enjoys but also that there is much more to her than just acting. In contrast, Jack Nicholson is iconic in his identity as film star. Being a movie star is his identity.

By the same token when something bad happens to you or you do something you wish you hadn’t, be careful not to let it define you as well. This is not always easy, but it’s critically important. Often when something bad happens or someone does something bad to you, it creates a prison that confines your self-image and potential for growth. When the action against you is really horrendous, such as molestation or abuse, the prison so tightly confines you that your self-image is built around this event.

Here’s the reality. You did nothing to deserve what happened to you and while you are obsessing with the negatives associated with the event, and they are horrible, the person who committed the act is doing laundry. You are not on their mind, they are on your mind for as long as you allow them to be.

If I allowed myself, it would be easy to be mired in the mud of self-pity and absorb myself in negative thoughts and behaviors about the man who sues me for fun. What I’ve realized is that like all of us including anyone who has wronged you, he is a product of his own programming. Once I understood that, it was easy to forgive him. Forgiving him does not condone what he did nor does it make it right. I think what he did is sick. But, I refuse to allow what he did to me to keep me in a prison of a negative mind. What is the alternative? I obsess with his attacks on me while he goes and plays a round of golf. If I hold onto the negative effects of his attacks I give him permission to compound the effects into all areas of my life. Well, permission is not granted.

What has happened to you good and bad is not you. What matters is how you deal with it.

John Graden is the author of The Impostor Syndrome. The Impostor Syndrome is the feeling you’re not as smart, talented, or skilled as others think you are. It’s the feeling you’ve been faking it and are about to be found out. Learn more about the book at:

http://www.theimpostorsyndrome.com

http://www.johngraden.com

Article Source: Your Personal Identity: How Do You Define Yourself?

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