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having a hard time coping with my alcoholic father…i feel like it’s an excuse?

  • Posted on March 14, 2011 at 10:17 am

My father (54) suffered a heart attack this weekend. As a diabetic, addicted to cigarettes, and an alcoholic for at least the last 20 years he’s treated his body badly of course. He wakes up and goes to work everyday, and has never physically, or emotionally abused anyone in my family. I guess you could say hes a high functioning alcoholic. Since suffering the heart attack, after being in the hospital for a couple of nights, he began to suffer from the Dr’s for which he was heavily sedated and still is (5 days later) The Dr’s have been going back and forth trying to wean him slowly off the ativan that they are using to treat him, but he’s been such a heavy drinker for so long, and still 5 days later even the slightest decrease in the meds leads him to fits and convulsions. I love him dearly, as he is my father, but seeing him with a breathing tube, completely sedated the way he is, im finding it hard to feelsympatheticetic, but rather i find myself feeling angry that it seems to be all self inflicted. I understand many people call alcoholism a disease and although i believe this may be true it’s very difficult for me to see that, looking at him so pathetic right now. I feel like a horrible daughter for feeling this way, but I just cant shake the thought that he’s done this all to himself. doesn’tesnt help that his #1 drinking buddy is my mom, who all along is making excuses for him, saying we can’t come down on him, because it just wont help. For the record, she drinks just as much as he does. theyre a toxic combination in my mind. How do I stop feeling angry at him, and resenting him, and act like the sympathetic daughter I should be in the face of his medical crisis. I know he needs caring and love, at the moment hes a heart attack victim, suffering frophenomenamnia which he developed. Hes breathing only thrventilatorator currently, its just so sad to see what hes done to himself. How do I stop blaming him??
sorry for all the typos. I have no idea what happened. At the moment, I am 25, and not living in their house. I am a new mother to a 1 year old who my parents have nothing to do with (Due to the fact that as soon as they finish work, they go to the bar 5 nights a week, only to spend 10 hours days there on the weekends…)

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having a hard time coping with my alcoholic father…i feel like it’s an excuse?

  • Posted on October 13, 2010 at 4:32 pm

My father (54) suffered a heart attack this weekend. As a diabetic, addicted to cigarettes, and an alcoholic for at least the last 20 years he’s treated his body badly of course. He wakes up and goes to work everyday, and has never physically, or emotionally abused anyone in my family. I guess you could say hes a high functioning alcoholic. Since suffering the heart attack, after being in the hospital for a couple of nights, he began to suffer from the Dr’s for which he was heavily sedated and still is (5 days later) The Dr’s have been going back and forth trying to wean him slowly off the ativan that they are using to treat him, but he’s been such a heavy drinker for so long, and still 5 days later even the slightest decrease in the meds leads him to fits and convulsions. I love him dearly, as he is my father, but seeing him with a breathing tube, completely sedated the way he is, im finding it hard to feelsympatheticetic, but rather i find myself feeling angry that it seems to be all self inflicted. I understand many people call alcoholism a disease and although i believe this may be true it’s very difficult for me to see that, looking at him so pathetic right now. I feel like a horrible daughter for feeling this way, but I just cant shake the thought that he’s done this all to himself. doesn’tesnt help that his #1 drinking buddy is my mom, who all along is making excuses for him, saying we can’t come down on him, because it just wont help. For the record, she drinks just as much as he does. theyre a toxic combination in my mind. How do I stop feeling angry at him, and resenting him, and act like the sympathetic daughter I should be in the face of his medical crisis. I know he needs caring and love, at the moment hes a heart attack victim, suffering frophenomenamnia which he developed. Hes breathing only thrventilatorator currently, its just so sad to see what hes done to himself. How do I stop blaming him??
sorry for all the typos. I have no idea what happened. At the moment, I am 25, and not living in their house. I am a new mother to a 1 year old who my parents have nothing to do with (Due to the fact that as soon as they finish work, they go to the bar 5 nights a week, only to spend 10 hours days there on the weekends…)

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