I am 33 years old and finally agreed to take meds for my ADD. I’m also dyslexic. I have struggled with it, but keep trying to control it myself. I do not like taking medication. However, my life is out of control. I’ve been going to counseling for about 6 months regularly. My therapist has not pressured me to go but advised I would function better if I chose that route. She did an assessment on me about 5 months ago.
I went to a psychiatrist today and he prescribed me Adderall. I got the generic and it says Amphetamine Salts 20 Mg. I’m supposed to take one first thing in the a.m. and then at lunch time.
I got my prescription up too late so I didn’t take one today. I will start tomorrow.
I have several concerns. One is the fact that the ADD assessments are not that accurate for psychiatric testing. I acknowledge I have many symptoms. I do not have the hyperactive component of it. I’m actually the opposite at times and can be sedentary unless I make myself do stuff which is difficult at times.
I guess taking an Amphetamine is a bit scary for me. However, I’m tired of feeling inadequate and not being productive. This causes me to feel depressed. I am good at my job when it comes to dealing with my clients, but cannot manage my administrative duties. I cannot manage my kids school stuff, my bills, and I am extremely disorganized. Sometimes I just want to cry because I feel like a screw up. I then go and get everything extremely organized, and some how within a day it looks like a hurricane went through my office and I have no idea how I did all that. I can’t focus on one file at a time. I get one out and then think of another and then I get a phone call regarding another file and before I know it I have 20 files and paper scattered everywhere and I’ve lost what I needed to start with. Co-workers giggle and think I’m funny. I am humiliated and embarrassed by this. I don’t want to be funny. I went to college and want to be taken seriously and respected in my career.
Anyway, you get the point. Sorry this is so long. How will this medicine truely help me? How will I know if it’s helping? Is it something I will notice immediately? I feel like crying writing this.
Some criticize me and tell me there is no such thing as ADD. I don’t know what to think. I’ve struggled my whole life. I had teachers humiliate me in class due to my papers being wadded up in my desk or back pack. I was the kid who always forgot their homework or the only one who didn’t understand the directions etc. I hated school.
I didn’t finish college til I was 30 and don’t know how I even finished. I also forgot my paper or lost my CD with my paper on it. I would run into class 30 minutes late all frazzled and ran to the professors desk with my paper while I was out of breath….and sometimes had my kids with me cuz I forgot to make child care arrangements or didn’t have time to drop them off etc.
My self esteem has been greatly effected by this.
Again, sorry this is so long. I just need some answers. I started crying while trying to explain to my psychiatrist and was embarrassed so I didn’t go all into it with him.
My youngest daughter is the same way as me. I feel guilty. Did she learn this from me or does she have ADD too? She’s also dyslexic. I’m afraid to give Amphetamines to a child…she’s only 10. She suffers the same embarrassments at school as I did. Since I understand I am on her teacher’s tail end to make sure they don’t add to her humiliation. I also don’t discipline her for forgetting her pencils, book, binder, homework, etc. I try to help remind her but I can’t keep up with my own.
Okay. If anyone actually reads this, thank you. If not I completely understand. :(
P.S. are there side effects I can expect at first but will go away later? Will I feel dizzy or like I’m on speed or something?
