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alcoholic mom? i need to stop forgiving her…?

  • Posted on March 9, 2011 at 8:18 pm

i’m currently 14 and my moms been an alcoholic my whole and refuses to get help(no many how many times me and my dad try to get her too)
she’s managed to really mess me up in the past
just all the fighting and cursing really tore me down and i was in a very bad place for a couple years
im better now though
shes cursed me out, threatened me, insulted me, that kinda stuff
once when i was like 8 she told me she wished i wasn’t her daughter and that along with the combination of her leaving twice when i was a kid probably caused my inability to really let people in
im working on that now though
and once, this summer actually she attacked me
choked me, kicked me in the head and stomach that kinda stuff
i called the cops, and blah blah blah she has a record of child abuse now
last night some stuff just happened last night at her friends, that involved a lot of fighting
and now she’s all like going on about how certain friends think about me now, after all the ‘horrible’ things i did
now if they actually thought that about me then whatever i dont really care, ive learned to let go what others think of me
the thing is…i know thats not what they think…mainly because NONE OF THEM WERE EVEN THERE. lol she messed up on that part…and plus there my dads friends to and hes like i was just talking to one of them and they didnt say anything like that
and what started this whole thing was well actually i was in the bathroom and i heard her go on about how i’m an @$$hole right when she came home…i mean really! you just got home and theres alreaddy something you have to!
im just so sick of it, i learned to live without a mother figure(since she isnt one) and i know i dont need one anymore
problem is i always end up forgiving her, mainly because its hard not getting along with someone living in such a small house
by the way no my dad won’t leave her, and i dont have any family to stay with
how to i stop forgiving her?
because im sick of all the drama she puts into my life
how do i maturely give her the message that im over this childishness and next time she feels like saying something bad about me come to me not behind my back, and well be able to talk once she decides to handle her problems without alcohol

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