(this is probably gonna be long..im aplogizing and warning you beforehand…so please dont complain..)
and also…i know i deserve all of this heartache im sure..i cant blame anyone but myself, but i wouldnt take any of it back…i couldnt
but i am lost now for advice,
im biased in regards to his emotions anymore ,regardless of how long ive known him or close weve been,
“justin” has been in my life since i was 4..he was 5 years older than me and was friends with my sister..weve kept in contact over the years but nothing more than a ‘howve you been, hows your mom?’
within the past few years thats changed though,
hes somehow become my best friend, one of the few people who really gets me and i just actually enjoy being around..
hes not afraid to get competetive with me, he treats me the way i want to be, like a little sister almost,
justins been married for a few years now, and when i say that…dont think its what it sounds like…its an entirely sanctimonious union..
they break up constantly, because she never really liked the idea of being with ‘just him’ in the physical department.
i dont understand him at all why he stays, shes a horrible mother, and a more than lousy wife, let alone girlfriend..
(and no this isnt just me..this comes from alot of others, i just cant help believe it now, credible sources, such as his family members, our closest friends, his best friend even)
she doesnt treat him the way he deserves, and this life hes living is eating away at his heart,
i made the mistake,
i couldnt help it, but we became intimate..
this went on, off and on for about a year, hed always end up back with her
it didnt fully bother me, i was kind of at the same point of lack-of-emotion towards intimacy, and thought it was cool that ‘hey, my really good buddy and i have an extra way of bonding now..and were cool about it’
we had a complete and honest communication about it all…if i wanted to start dating someone, id tell him..wed take a break on that side of ‘us’
things seemed to be working out with them 2? wed take a break
hed talk to me about her..and i was the only one supportive of her..i even yelled at him a few times for seeing me when he was heartbroken over her
‘i`m only human’ hed reply.
well…enough people have me convinced that shes horrible for him…im convinced myself…because it only took a month or 2 of him talking about her, for me to yell at him.
just stop..shes never gonna change justin, and thats all i can say cuz you probably think im biased.
3 weeks ago, the ring was at home, a smile was on his face, and he kissed me in front of all of our friends at our weekly card game.
all he could say was how good it felt to be free to finally do what hes wanted to do..
we went home, and it was like magic,,,he wasnt my buddy anymore
and i realized i was falling for him…the way he kissed me, it was different..and i thought he was for me too..
the things he said, the way he acted,
he even said that he wanted to see what kind of a mother i was…he knew i dont bring men around my child unless im serious about dating them and having them stick around..
he knows all this, and asks me to bring my daughter to the park the next day with his..
that playdate never came…the week after that…i was livid after a few hours into cards..he was nonchalant, as if nothing had happened…just ‘my buddy’
he realized something was wrong, and he knew it was him, so we left early and we went back to my house.
he claimed he didnt remember it!
we had shared 1 pitcher of beer between the 2 of us, theres no way he was that intoxicated..
he apologized for it, and for hurting me..but then he started saying the same things!(obviously he did remember) only with more reluctancy..he proposed another playdate for our daughters (which im realizing now probably isnt a good idea until he and i get past this)
the problem is…she only wants him back, to stick around as a husband, and not just as a babysitter,when she realizes she might lose him…
ive dealt with this so many times before..
when she catches wind from our friends that he and i are hanging out
she goes in a fit, makes it so hes not allowed to go -anywhere- with -any- of his friends, and is up his ass,
once shes satisfied that hes not gonna ever leave her ‘alone’ with the kids, she goes right back to her ways, making out with random guys at the bar,(shes even come on to me!!!) living the life of a young college co-ed while her amazing husband is at home taking care of the children.
i know what hes doing right now, hes falling for it again, she caught wind of what happened the other night, him kissing me..
and she couldnt let it happen..
she apologized to him and begged him to take her back
they were almost completely finished!
justin was at his final wits end and seemed so accomplished,
he seemed so ready and final…he wasnt gonna put up with her crap anymore..he was going to better himself.they had been d
