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Is gaining conservatorship of my out of control 18 yo daughter a good idea?

  • Posted on January 6, 2011 at 9:20 am

I recently moved to a new city and my 18yo daughter wanted to stay put. I agreed to let her stay as long as she showed responsiblity. Her 8 month old daughter came with me because it was too hard for her to get around/daycare/work etc. Well, she got evicted from her first apt for non-payment (after 3 mos) and has moved into another one with 2 males (“just roomates” she says). I know she’s smoking pot and there’s signs of meth/coke use. she’s missed so many days from work (her first job-at Wendy’s) that they’ve told her one more time and she’s fired PLUS her “friends” are all bad news. (gang-banger wannabes)She only sees her daughter if I bring her there (200 miles) and even then will choose to go out rather than have her for a night. I want her to move by me where a friend of mine guaranteed her a job and the low income housing would put her rent at about $100/month but she refuses. What are my options short of kidnapping her? (kidding …sorta) Do I have ANY say since she’s not 21?
p.s.
We live in Colorado.
p.s.s
I don’t want her to hate me but I’d rather that than have her screw up her life and the way she’s going now, that’s exactly what’s going to happen. I am not asking her to come live with me, just by me where her options are better. She’d have a job as a pet stylist (my friend owns her own salon and offered to give her a job and even pay for her to get trained/licensed). She’d have low rent, free food laundry at my house whenever she needed and I obviously would watch her daughter. This is tearing my family apart and I don’t know what I should do. I regret ever letting her stay behind but I did only because before she was on her own she was a good kid and her decisions had been good ones, but now…. she’s headed for jail or worse.
In response to the response..lol… My friend trhat owns the salon IS a dear friend… we’ve known each other for YEEARS. She has a small pet grooming salon and my daughter would be trained and licensed so she would be able to either open her own salon or have a mobile salon. Since most of my friends customers are regulars, and since my daughter wouldn’t be able to actually work on the animals untill she was trained, any irresonsibility would rear it’s ugly head long before she could do damage to my friends reputation. She has known my daughter as well for years and was a “wild child” herself at one point, so she is willing to help her and aware of the possible outcomes. Me myself? I know I need to leave her in God’s hands but the images that flood my mind of what is going on and what may come almost paralize me. My grandbaby keeps me level and is my ray of joy. I just wish her mom would realize what she’s doing and come with me :(
oh, and I already have a notorized statement from her about guardianship. I had that taken care of before her diaper bag was even packed! It’s just heartbreaking that the law says they are “adults” at 18 and then the gov’t complains about unplanned pregnancies, and “the youth of today”.I am just hpoing that when she hits rock bottom she has the sense to climg up and not dig deeper out of a misplaced sense of pride. Please pray for my family and myself.

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How can I recover from bulimia without gaining weight in the process?

  • Posted on October 10, 2010 at 4:17 am

I have been bulimic since 1997. I would binge and purge and starve myself in between. I would also exercise like a mad woman. I was so skinny my family wasn’t sure what was going on. My ribs were showing and my face looked skeletal. When I became pregnant with my daughter in 2001 I slowly stopped the binging and purging and began to eat healthy and not worry about my weight. I was normal for the whole pregnancy but right after her birth I began just not eating.. and when I couldn’t take it any more the binging and purging began again. In summer of 2007 my son had a terrible accident and again I began just not eating from the stress and then slowly but surely began binging and purging again. I was so happy with the way I looked I didn’t want to stop. But when my boyfriend moved in with me I couldn’t hide it from him so I have slowly been eating here and there and only purging occasionally. I have gained 9 lbs. I am 5’7 and my size 4 pants are now snug on me. Anyone else that was that size I would say was skinny but when I see myself in the mirror I look like a moose. My boyfriend is very weird that way too.. he likes his girl skinny and has mentioned things when he is mad about me not exercising as much and that I am getting flabby. I am not sure what to do. I am on the verge of becoming full fledge again because even when I eat less than a normal person and exercise I still seem to put on weight if I am not vomitting. I need help. I don’t know how to eat and be normal and still be able to maintain my weight anymore. If any one has any answers for me I would greatly appreciate it. My world is just consumed with thoughts of food and how I am going to get rid of it. I am tired of feeling this way. it has been way too many years.

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