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having a hard time coping with my alcoholic father…i feel like it’s an excuse?

  • Posted on March 14, 2011 at 10:17 am

My father (54) suffered a heart attack this weekend. As a diabetic, addicted to cigarettes, and an alcoholic for at least the last 20 years he’s treated his body badly of course. He wakes up and goes to work everyday, and has never physically, or emotionally abused anyone in my family. I guess you could say hes a high functioning alcoholic. Since suffering the heart attack, after being in the hospital for a couple of nights, he began to suffer from the Dr’s for which he was heavily sedated and still is (5 days later) The Dr’s have been going back and forth trying to wean him slowly off the ativan that they are using to treat him, but he’s been such a heavy drinker for so long, and still 5 days later even the slightest decrease in the meds leads him to fits and convulsions. I love him dearly, as he is my father, but seeing him with a breathing tube, completely sedated the way he is, im finding it hard to feelsympatheticetic, but rather i find myself feeling angry that it seems to be all self inflicted. I understand many people call alcoholism a disease and although i believe this may be true it’s very difficult for me to see that, looking at him so pathetic right now. I feel like a horrible daughter for feeling this way, but I just cant shake the thought that he’s done this all to himself. doesn’tesnt help that his #1 drinking buddy is my mom, who all along is making excuses for him, saying we can’t come down on him, because it just wont help. For the record, she drinks just as much as he does. theyre a toxic combination in my mind. How do I stop feeling angry at him, and resenting him, and act like the sympathetic daughter I should be in the face of his medical crisis. I know he needs caring and love, at the moment hes a heart attack victim, suffering frophenomenamnia which he developed. Hes breathing only thrventilatorator currently, its just so sad to see what hes done to himself. How do I stop blaming him??
sorry for all the typos. I have no idea what happened. At the moment, I am 25, and not living in their house. I am a new mother to a 1 year old who my parents have nothing to do with (Due to the fact that as soon as they finish work, they go to the bar 5 nights a week, only to spend 10 hours days there on the weekends…)

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Question about Clorox Anywhere Hard Surface Spray??

  • Posted on February 18, 2011 at 3:25 pm

I just bought some to use in the kitchen & on my daughter’s highchair & toys & such… But I was reading the label and noticed there was no “Warning if swallowed blah blah blah…” I know you don’t have to rinse it off, just wait until it dries, but what if someone drank it? Wouldn’t be poisonous if someone were to drink it?? Why didn’t clorox put a warning on it…. Don’t you think someone would sue them like the lady did Mcdonalds for the hot coffee spilling on her even though you know coffee is hot, but it didn’t have a warning?? I was just curious. Thanks!!

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Am I being too hard on my 16 year old daughter? She wants to go “out” for New Years Eve.?

  • Posted on November 22, 2010 at 3:22 pm

My husband and I do not feel comfortable letting her out past 11:00pm to begin with and also with all the drunk driving that goes on, we feel she would be safer at home with the family.

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Why is it so hard to say good-bye?

  • Posted on November 6, 2010 at 3:23 am

When I wake up, I can still see her shining face
Every morning her smile makes my heart race
We talked a little at time, soon we were friends
I tried to tell her I loved her, always giving hints
As days went by, she still gave me the love pains
I always hoped that this barrier would soon change
I could get close, but she would always step back
Going from subtle hints to carrying her backpack
Helped her with homework, maybe see a movie
Tried to lean in for the kiss, she wouldn’t let me
I explained to her my feelings, she would deny
She didn’t take me in, my feeling won’t subside
I caught up to her, giving once last impression
Blurred out my words, again I asked the question
She said no, again, I grabbed a knife and a spade
What wasn’t mine, is now just leaves on a grave

Why is good-bye so hard to say
Builds inside, you start to decay
Killing you, leaves a deep scar
Other times it can leave a mark

Melinda was forgiving and a very strong woman
Did what was to be done, and that can be proven
A good citizen, a husband and a three year old kid
Had a nice home and car, liked where she lived
A community that had its ups but to many woes
It had problems, in bad condition, terrible roads
Crime was high, and the husband started to drink
He said it was nothing, said it was just a treat
Late in the morning, he’s driving fast intoxicated
Pushing over a hundred, feels like he’s liberated
But he didn’t see the car ahead, swerved into a wall
She wakes up that morning, receives a phone call
Crying, her daughter ask “Is daddy coming home”
She tries to explain to her, knowing she on her own
The funeral was held at a church, Sunday afternoon
Lowering the casket, saying good-bye felt to soon

Why is good-bye so hard to say
Builds inside, you start to decay
Killing you, leaves a deep scar
Other times it can leave a mark

Feels like the poor man fights the rich mans war
But it’s the poor mans casket hitting the dirt floor
To many have died, many names up in flames
The innocent corrupted, some have gone in vain
What has gone wrong with me, and today’s society
Money and sex being America’s highest priority
Why do many want what they can never obtain
Everybody go for the throat when it comes to fame
Digging deeper, only to seal their terrible fate
Nothing but hate, feeling sorry because its too late
For them, but not for you me, we still have time
An answer to find, maybe we will spot a sign
Good-bye, just a phrase that tears you into pieces
Other wonder why them, others turn to Jesus
Only time will tell if our souls will ever recover
What I know for sure is things will get bloodier

Why is good-bye so hard to say
Builds inside, you start to decay
Killing you, leaves a deep scar
Other times it can leave a mark

The Midwest Arsonist

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Why life is so hard you try to find out?

  • Posted on October 28, 2010 at 10:22 pm

Ever since Christmas Eve I saw my family that i haven’t seen in a long time. Then all my cousins look very older but i found out my cousin Kimberly was addicted to drugs and her boyfriend which she had sex with him and she only 13 like me and i remember when she was that good girl everyone would like. But now that she does drugs with her brothers at home and no money and no school because she got kick out. I had change when she told me that. I had a ecstasy pills that my friend gave me that wasn’t me! I try to forgot the things i done in the past and rumors and fights and everything but its hard when you pray each night and doesn’t work. I have very different thoughts and feelings from anybody at school but sometimes i think of people think i only want attention when i cry. I cry because whatever bullshit happens to me no more understands. Even my boyfriend im planning to stay with him forever. Its like scared because whoever go out could possibly find somebody or does something stupid if something hit inside you and go do it. I wish he only knew how life is so hard for my right now like i try to explain him i want to be that one girl everyone wants he doesn’t know what i been though in 6th grade .. ever since Christmas Eve I change someone i don’t wanna be no more. Its a bad feeling i got more drama with people, more drama with my boyfriend and mostly worst i get hit by my Dad. It sucks because last month he kick me out of the house for having stupid 65 tardies at school. I know it IS my fault but what kind a grown man kick their daughter out to the world? I was glad i had friend that doesn’t live that far. My mom doesn’t know anything about this or my dad cheating on her. Last two week was hard for both of my parents because my grandmother die of my dad side and next day on Thursday my great grandmother die of my mom side. My dad sent so much money to mexico we almost broke down. Then that night i got knock down bad. Now yesterday I lost my best friend Itcel.. just because she kept saying i am special Ed girl means I am retard , at lunch she said it so loud everyone laugh at me and i felt bad like i know they were joking around but it hurt me. Then i just stayed really quiet and my boyfriend was trying to make me happy but it doesn’t work like that easy. What can i do? everyone thinks i am a Drama queen and make up lies and won’t believe me in any ways? I mean i try to get help but this week i am just focused on my schoolwork but i mostly give up because of my boyfriend and my baptized , 1st coummion and my conformation this Saturday but like i said i try to forgot the past but always come back to me everything does. So i say its hard everything that happen this year i mean its only been 3 months of one year and so many bullshit happens and i don’t know what to do now? i want to be that girl that knew what is the right choice for her and wasn’t scared and i learn the past but what stops me being crying every fuckin day! and forgot everything and live life! What should i do? What really did change me? What can i should people i can be that girl again? What can i be or how should i tell my boyfriend about this i mean i don’t want attention like i know he been though alot too but everything at once!! No one can’t feel the way how i feel inside. I wish i went back in time and fix the things should have go but can’t do that its like pen writing on paper. Its hard when you try to be happy but when you have problems like my life its not simple as you read this .. i just help and more support how can i be that one girl again

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My daughter died 3 years ago and I am still having a hard time coping?

  • Posted on October 20, 2010 at 3:23 pm

She was in a car wreck drinking and driving. She was just shy of 21. All I have left is my husband and two boys. There is no counseling near me locally and when you do, it is a long wait. Help.
Today I was crying for the mother of the kids that were stab in Chicago. Anything breaks me out in tears and I feel low for awhile.

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having a hard time coping with my alcoholic father…i feel like it’s an excuse?

  • Posted on October 13, 2010 at 4:32 pm

My father (54) suffered a heart attack this weekend. As a diabetic, addicted to cigarettes, and an alcoholic for at least the last 20 years he’s treated his body badly of course. He wakes up and goes to work everyday, and has never physically, or emotionally abused anyone in my family. I guess you could say hes a high functioning alcoholic. Since suffering the heart attack, after being in the hospital for a couple of nights, he began to suffer from the Dr’s for which he was heavily sedated and still is (5 days later) The Dr’s have been going back and forth trying to wean him slowly off the ativan that they are using to treat him, but he’s been such a heavy drinker for so long, and still 5 days later even the slightest decrease in the meds leads him to fits and convulsions. I love him dearly, as he is my father, but seeing him with a breathing tube, completely sedated the way he is, im finding it hard to feelsympatheticetic, but rather i find myself feeling angry that it seems to be all self inflicted. I understand many people call alcoholism a disease and although i believe this may be true it’s very difficult for me to see that, looking at him so pathetic right now. I feel like a horrible daughter for feeling this way, but I just cant shake the thought that he’s done this all to himself. doesn’tesnt help that his #1 drinking buddy is my mom, who all along is making excuses for him, saying we can’t come down on him, because it just wont help. For the record, she drinks just as much as he does. theyre a toxic combination in my mind. How do I stop feeling angry at him, and resenting him, and act like the sympathetic daughter I should be in the face of his medical crisis. I know he needs caring and love, at the moment hes a heart attack victim, suffering frophenomenamnia which he developed. Hes breathing only thrventilatorator currently, its just so sad to see what hes done to himself. How do I stop blaming him??
sorry for all the typos. I have no idea what happened. At the moment, I am 25, and not living in their house. I am a new mother to a 1 year old who my parents have nothing to do with (Due to the fact that as soon as they finish work, they go to the bar 5 nights a week, only to spend 10 hours days there on the weekends…)

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How hard is it to get off xanax?

  • Posted on October 9, 2010 at 12:20 pm

A friend of ,mines daughter seems to be addicted,

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Why is it so hard to leave the man I love when he is verbally abusive.?

  • Posted on September 21, 2010 at 8:17 pm

I’m in love with a man who is very high maintence and has always been a bacholar. I moved in with him 2 years ago with my 2 children, he is not a kid person but has a son of his own. He does not like my son but likes my daughter. For a long time now he tells to move out and he wants to be on his own but i’ve stayed, finally I bought a house and I got it April 3 but now he tells me he wants me to stay, he says he loves me and is going to get help. He has been very good to me lately but I’m scared he will just go back to being the same person again. I also don’t like the things he has said to me and I don’t like his weekend binge drinking. Please help with advise.

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How hard would it be to prove my ex is smoking crack?

  • Posted on January 2, 2010 at 6:02 am

I have a 2 yr old daughter, I love her very much but her mother is smoking crack. I went over there the other night because she would not pickup answer the phone. When I got there they had crack on the table in her bedroom and were getting ready to smoke it. I called the cops and they flushed it before they got there. Now she will not let me see my daughter and will not answer the phone or the door when I call or come over. I have filed the paperwork to try and get custody but the cops wouldn’t do anyhting and said I can not go to her house unless I have her ok or I will be arrested for harrassing her. I woory about my daughter and the lifestyle she is going to have. I work full time and going to college. I am a straight A student. I own my own house. She is on disability for a mental illness and is spending all of her money on drugs. I am worried that when I go to court they will order me to pay child support and this will only add to her drug money. I can’t sleep at night I need help

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