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Joe once says to Mike. My elbow hurt like hell.?

  • Posted on March 18, 2011 at 1:21 pm

So, Mike took him to a Diagnostic Computer that printed Joe’s problem exactly.
It printed

“You have tennis elbow.
Soak your arm in warm water
Avoid heavy activity.
It will improve in two weeks”

Joe thought of fooling the computer so he mixed some tap water,a stool sample from his dog,urine samples from his wife and daughter,and a sperm sample for good measure and poured it into the machine. The machine printed these

1. Your tap water is too hard.Get a water softener.
2. Your dog has ringworm.Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit.Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant.Twins.They aren’t yours.Get a lawyer.
5. If you don’t stop playing with yourself,your elbow will never get better.

BYE – Imtiyaz G

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Why isn’t alcohol illegal and why the hell do people think it’s ok to do METH AND OTHER DRUGS?!?”?

  • Posted on November 12, 2010 at 6:21 pm

“29-year-old Robert E. Hensley of Unicoi, Tenn. is accused of slapping his girlfriend’s 8-year-old son. He’s also accused of duct taping his girlfriend’s pug to the dog’s body and rubbing the dog’s butt in the kids’ faces. Prescription drugs and alcohol may have been involved”

” 43-year-old Manuel De Jesus Rosales of Lehigh Acres, Florida is a brutal killer.
He’s accused of slitting the throat of his own daughter while in a drunken rage. Not content of just slitting the throat of his own daughter while she looked on he also slit the throat of his 3-moth-old grandson, the daughter’s son. Unfortunately the baby did not survive the attack. After slitting the baby’s throat he allegedly presented him to his daughter saying “here’s your bastard. ”

“25-year-old Randy Thomsen of Las Vegas, Nevada has been charged with beating and kicking his 4-month-old son and putting him in a freezer and closing the door on him. The infant suffered a fracture skull and broken ribs which Thomesn allegedly tried blaming on a fall. ”

“Police in Grapevine, Texas arrested Julio Cesar Garcia, 20, and Branda Duran, 19, after witnesses at a party allegedly saw them passing a bong to their 13-month-old son. Witnesses say that the boy put his mouth around the top of the bong and was playing with a bowl of weed.”

“20-year-old Anthony Parra of Queens, New York is accused of putting his girlfriend’s daughter into ICU by scalding the 11-month-old girl. These stories are almost becoming old hat. It has all the usual elements. Boyfriend was babysitting while mom was at work, baby starts to cry boyfriend flips out and harms the child. ”

“McALLEN, Texas – A man accused of fatally beating his 2-year-old stepdaughter when she wouldn’t stop crying as he watched a World Cup game has been charged with capital murder.”

“29-year-old Peter James Wilson of is accused of slashing the throat of his 5-year-old step-daughter while on vacation in Hoodsport, Washington.

Allegedly Wilson argued with his wife over how the children should be disciplined and then told his wife “not to worry that he would take care of it.”

“19-year-old Marlon M. Hines of St. Charles County, Missouri, has been charged in the May 31st death of his 12-week-old daughter.

Hines is accused of ‘applying pressure’ to his daughters chest while he was trying to change her. He was allegedly ‘frustrated’ because his daughter soiled herself several times. Hines allegedly applied so much pressure that he fractured his daughter’s ribs and lacerated her liver. The cause of death was internal bleeding from the liver.”

“Police in Salinas, California have arrested 20-year-old Samantha Tomasini and 38-year-old Patrick Fousek after they allegedly tried to sell their baby to a pair of women in the parking lot of a Wal-Mart for $25.

Police say the pair appeared to be tweaking on meth. Tomasini allegedly admitted to even breastfeeding the baby while high on meth. ”

“New York State Police were called to the Vienna, New York home of Adam Theall’s parents. The 21-year-old Theall was threatening to kill his 3-month-old son if police responded. He made good on his promise. When a New York State Trooper arrived at the scene Theall shot his infant son with a shotgun without hesitation.”

“Police in Wells Township, Ohio have arrested an unnamed 49-year-old woman for prostituting her 14-year-old daughter so the woman could get crack. It’s alleged that she started pimping out her daughter at the age of 10.’

“Police in Louisville, Kentucky have arrested 29-year-old Bobbie Nelson, 38-year-old Denise Haynes, and 48-year-old Tommy Harris for allegedly not only running a meth lab with kids in the house but having the lab in the kids’ room.”

“19-year-old Staci Lynn Barbosa and 23-year-old Jonathan Edward Vandergriff of Bullhead City, Arizona have been arrested in the brutal death of their one-month-old

The boy was brought to the hospital with extensive injuries and the baby died from his injuries. The baby had broken ribs, a broken femur, malnourished, dehydrated and showed signs of shaken baby syndrome. Police also say that the baby was raped by his own parents. ”

“23-year-old Kayla Neighbors of Greenwood, Indiana was arrested last week for slamming her infant to the ground while tweaked out on meth.

Her neighbors were concerned because she was screaming about dropping her baby. When her neighbors found her baby and handed it to her she looked at the baby then threw it on the parking lot pavement.”

“34-year-old Stephanie Rochester of Boulder, Colorado has been charged in the smothering murder of her 6-month-old son Rylan. She allegedly killed her own son over fears that he may have Autism. ”

“11 month-old Kayla Marie Taschler from Palmerton, Pennsylvania died back in January after being left unattended in her

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Why would a loving God send someone to Hell?

  • Posted on October 19, 2010 at 1:21 am

Meet the Johnson family: The father, Sam, the mother, Ruth, and their two sons named William and Benny. William is 19 and Benny is 10.

The Johnson family is a happy one until William, the oldest son, becomes addicted to drugs. At first, he is able to hide his addiction, but living with responsible parents, he is soon found out. The parents are crushed, because this addiction has built an extreme hold on William over time. Sam, the father, knows he had a responsibility to keep peace in his home. He has an entire family to think of. How will this addiction affect the rest of the family?

In order to keep his family from destruction, Sam has to remove the problem. How can he save William and the rest of the family? Can you see the immense burden that is placed on the father as the head of the household? No doubt that allowing this addiction to remain in the house will most assuredly lead to Benny being deeply influenced. Something must be done.

After some careful consideration, Sam approaches William and lovingly, yet sternly, informs him that he has two choices: a) give up the drugs and work with the family to break the addiction, or, b) leave home

Sam understands that this addiction will most likely destroy his family if allowed to stay. He loves William very much, but he cannot put his entire family at risk.

So William has a choice. He can give up the drugs and seek help, or he can leave home. The father does not want William to have to leave, but he cannot allow this destructive force to remain in his home. It could ruin the lives of all involved.

This is why a loving Father would send a person to Hell. If sin were allowed into Heaven it (Heaven) would no longer be paradise, and all those therein would be affected. It does not matter how much love the Father has for the son or daughter. The child is involved in a risky situation that affects all those around. See how much pressure is on the Father? You think any sane father would put out a son or daughter out of hate?

Well atheists, here you go. I didn’t use circular knowledge. I referred to not one single scripture in the Bible. I used a “logical,” real-world example. If you can argue with this, then you are not looking for an answer to the primary question. You are only looking for an argument.

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