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i asked if it was ironic for the palin daughter to warn other teens the dangers of teen sex while holding a?

  • Posted on November 13, 2010 at 11:23 am

kid. most critical responses said that ex drug addicts and convicts who killed people while driving drunk also speak against those behaviors.
would the drug addict or drunk driver be more justified if they were married when they commited their crimes? is having a baby even a crime? how do you think bristols kid will feel when s/he (don’t know, don’t care) grows up and see how mom treated them like a parasitical mistake?
this kid is going to grow up knowing that from the moment he was there in the first place he was used as a tool to frighten people from sex.

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Intoxicated man Holding baby falls down steps?

  • Posted on July 31, 2010 at 1:23 am

I’m so angry right now I could scream, I was at the park today with my son when an elderly man, his wife and what appeared to be their grand daughter showed up. As soon as The man got out you could tell he was intoxicated the smell of alcohol was overwhelming. I was sitting on a blanket under the trees showing my son what a squirrel was when I hear a loud bang followed by whaling cries. The man who was holding the girl who looked no older then 2 had fallen down the stairs and landed on top of this little girl. I went over to check on the baby holding my own baby when he screamed “get outta here she’s fine”. I was sad that only me and one other mom had the balls to check on that child. I called the police to report this, but by the time they made it “the drunk” was gone. I don’t have a question, but if you really need one I guess I’ll ask what would you have done? I really hope that baby is ok.
Oh I know for a fact drunks have no business watching children. Their judgement is altered and I don’t understand how anyone would leave their child with an impaired person

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Holding on Versus Letting Go a Painful Treatment Dilemma

  • Posted on January 1, 2010 at 7:38 pm

Often, when working with families with young people in treatment for alcohol and/or substance abuse, there comes a time when parents must choose a path with the young person that can be a painful one.  A fork in the road appears when the young person has not yet made a full commitment to sobriety and a decision needs to be made about how to respond.  This is particularly difficult when it is time for the young person to come home.

The normal path of separation between parent and young adult comes naturally and slowly, over a period of time, as the young person prepares to either move away from home or go off to college.  There are often struggles and strains connected with this time but usually both parents and their son or daughter get through it with a but a few lumps and bruises and life goes on.  Inherent in this developmental path is the understanding on the part of the parent that, even though they may not see their child as being ready to face “reality”, they are nevertheless confident, that with a little help and support, they will make their way.  Also, a connection usually remains in the form of letters, emails, visits on the holidays, and requests for more money etc.

However, there is another path that parents can face when their youngster is not committed either to treatment or, after going through treatment, is not willing to commit to sobriety.  Here, the decision becomes one of whether to continue to remain in relationship with, and provide support for them, or letting go and allowing the young person to face their addiction first hand by having to take responsibility for their choices. This often means having to say, “I’m sorry but you are on your own.  We will not support your addiction.  When you are ready to commit to your sobriety you are welcome home”

Here is a much different letting go than the normal developmental path described above and a much more painful one.  It is here when a parent’s imagination may only be able to see the young person as living on the street, getting deeper into drugs, or, worse yet, dying of an overdose.  These are all very real outcomes but not the only ones.  Many times the young person needs to first recognize that they can no longer manipulate their parents into providing support while they do drugs before they are willing to make that commitment.

There are no guarantees here in terms of making the right decision but there is sufficient evidence to suggest that the best decision is to let them go.  The “best” decision however does not stave off the pain that a parent has to feel or the dreams that they may have to say goodbye to: dreams of a happy healthy young person heading off into life. 

This dilemma is often complicated by the fact that it seems counter to their expectations about what the outcome of treatment would be.  The expectation is usually that the young will come out of treatment fixed and drug free.  However, treatment and the stages of recovery do not necessarily flow in a nice linear path.  Many young people come out of treatment having learned a great deal and having grown a lot but may still not be ready to give up substance use.  Success in treatment may not be measured by the end of treatment outcomes but rather by an eventual path impossible to see by the parent. 

When faced with the decision associated with the latter form of letting go, one can only say to a parent, “have faith, rest in the support of those close to you, fall back on your spirituality, know that there is more to come and the possibility remains that you will be able to, at some later time, return to that fork in the road and take the path that you had hoped for. 

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