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My 15 year old daughter wants to get involved with a boy who is a bad influence. I need advice, please.?

  • Posted on January 18, 2011 at 11:22 am

My 15 year old daughter was involved with a 17 year old boy, soon to be 18. What started out as a typical teenage “romance” turned much more serious. The problem is that he is not a good influence, poor grades, can’t hold a simple job, has been kicked out of his home twice by his mother, for reasons I don’t know. He drinks, drives too fast in his piece of crap redneck truck, and “modulates” on his c.b. radio. He has cheated on her twice that she knows, but I’m sure there have been more times. The last time he “dumped” her was the greatest news of my life. We thought she was finally rid of him. We had “gently” coaxed her to move on, she is worth SO much better, etc.She met a great boy, her age, great family, VERY pleasant to be around. I just found out today that she broke up with him, and has been “talking” to the creep again. Her dad and I are SO dissapointed, We have forbidden her to become involved with him. Is this the right thing to do, I mean she’s still a kid. I’m nauseous!Help

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How can I get my wife to realize that her alcoholic dad is not a good influence on our toddler son?

  • Posted on November 9, 2010 at 4:32 pm

It’s complicated so please bear with me. My wife agrees her dad is an alcoholic. She knows he was absent in her life growing up, and caused a lot of hurt and pain for her because she knew the drinking always came first – not her.

He pretty much always has a beer in hand, never completely trashed (around us at least). Her dads girlfriend recently made a comment about making this year more about family.

This concerned me, I found myself thinking some pretty negative thoughts about how they want to leech into our lives and onto our hard work (we’ve got our lives together) and that I would just not rather have them in our life. I don’t like the fact that I think this, because I’m usually a pretty caring person, and I find myself second guessing my “hard line in the sand” because I know its her DAD and after all he is part of the family.

Up until now, our relationship has been getting a little closer than it was (her and her dad didn’t speak or even send cards for many years). This is clearly because we had a son, and I think he realizes he messed up with her and wants to makeup for it. So he has been buying our grandson gifts, and took us out to dinner a few times, had Easter at their house (which I was out of town for).To me, I would kind of like to limit it to that, and even that is pushing it. I don’t want to be unreasonable here, and I know I need to take my wifes wants/ needs into this as well but now we are running into a situation where she arranged for them to babysit for us and the whole thing is making me REALLY uncomfortable – like my wife is allowing a serpent to sneak up on our child! I know thats a horrible image, but when she told me that is seriously what I thought. His girlfriend musta been surprised my wife allowed it too, because my wife told me she made the comment “dont worry, I REALLY AM A GOOD GRANDMOTHER”. I guess my view is if you need to say something like that, then you probably aren’t! (though perhaps she is just saying that she isn’t the perpetrator of the bad behavior and trying to distancing herself from him).

My wife’s dad also recently lost his wife (to alcoholism), which may have played a part in his change, but maybe I’m just cold person but I don’t think so. I should mention that my wife seems to fool herself into believing the problems between her and her dad were caused by his wife (the one who died). So I can see how she might want to try again with him with her not there, but I think we both know deep down that, while his late wife may have been very mean to her (my wife) as a child, HER DAD was the one who made the choice to not put a priority on his daughter (my wife).

I am torn, because it would be nice if they wanted to be in our life, but I do not want them in our life on THEIR terms of current lifestyle. And I DON’T want for my son to be negatively impacted by this – in any way shape or form AT ALL. My wife and I also agree that these is little to zero chance that her dad will change. I wish my wife were stronger, But I KNOW that she will not confront him about his drinking problem, for whatever reason she is scared. I think its because she knows that if forced to pick between us (HER) and the bottle, he will choose the bottle – and that would open up deep wounds from childhood for her.

So she seems content to receive them with open arms, thinking any positive change they make is good. I agree, but where we differ is that I feel like we need to set some kind of boundaries and limit our relationship with them until they change. And even if they do change, I’ve been around alcohol long enough that I know once someone is an alcoholic they can easily fall back especially when they’ve been into that lifestyle for 40+ years.

PLEASE HELP!!

What should we do? Do I need to be the ****** in this situation? Part of me says “MAN UP” and protect your son and I know that I will do that if I need to, as of now I’ve let her take charge of matters concerning her family and so have been the a nice guy around her dad and his girlfriend. However, if I do exchange words with him, I know it will probably get heated and I will wind up issuing him an ultimatum and then my wife will be mad at ME!

If it were up to me, I’d say “drop em”. Don’t need that in my life. But then again, would I be like that to my dad or mom? Probably not. So I need to be careful, I wish my wife would get the strength to see this situation for what it is, but in the meantime – what boundaries can and should be set without totally driving them out of our life? This is hard.
>>You wrote to much so I refuse to answer…..

Well PISS OFF then mate. It’s my family we’re talking about here and this could make or break it if I allow him to go with grandpa who drives drunk and kills my boy. Sorry to inconvenience you with a few paragraphs.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

You have all sorts of issues and anger here which are unrelated to these people’s abilities to grandparent/influence on your son, who will not be harmed by Grandpa being a bit beer-y. Don’t let them drive, and find something else to worry about.
—————————–
K, I can see how you would think this regarding my response to Jacks lazy, unthoughtful, non-answer. Maybe I overreacted to him, but consider that alcohol has been a problem for our family, we have put years of work into figuring out how to live with it, after having it nearly destroy our relationship (before our son). My appeal to yahoo answers may have been random, but at least I put some thought into explaining the situation so people could get as good a read on the situation as possible. Yes, Jacks answer bothered me, but please don’t mistake that for “anger unrelated to these people”.
The way I see it, they made decisions in life. They CHOSE to put themselves first and made a priority out of having fun. Even when it hurt other people. I’m sorry, but thats not the kind of behavior that one should expect out of family. To me, family means you can COUNT on them. That wouldn’t apply here, and about drinking and driving, you try taking away a drunks keys. Some will let you, some won’t.
My wifes mothers boyfriend has been there from the beginning, and is 1000X better grandpa, not to mention two great grandpas on my side (my dad and step dad). I should make it clear that if my dad or stepdad with the alcohol problem, I would step in in a heartbeat and tell them they can be a part of our family on our terms. Why is it wrong to want to protect your family from a hazard?

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Why can’t we have tougher laws against illegals that kill Americans while driving under the influence?

  • Posted on September 29, 2010 at 1:27 pm

Ball on reforming parole guidelines
January21From state Assemblyman Greg Ball, R-Patterson:

IN LIGHT OF DONOHUE SENTENCING,

BALL AIMS TO REFORM

STATE’S PAROLE GUIDELINES

Following the sentencing of Conses Garcia-Zacarias earlier this week, Assemblyman Greg Ball (R, C, I – Patterson) has pledged to reform the state’s parole guidelines and to renew his call that state lawmakers immediately take action to enact a “zero tolerance” for Driving While Intoxicated (DWI) law statewide. Ball is the main sponsor of such
legislation, which he drafted in response to the death of Lori and Kayla Donohue, the Brewster mother and daughter who were killed by Garcia-Zacarias, an illegal alien who was driving while intoxicated.
“Regretfully, the current maximum sentence of 8? years to 25 years is not enough. And sadly, with our state’s current parole guidelines, this killer could be released in one-sixth of that time. Idiotically, corrections Law 803, Section 2, Subsection A outlines the maximum parole for convicts serving concurrent sentences is one-sixth the minimum sentence and one-third the minimum sentence for those serving consecutive sentences. This is despicable and insensitive in this case and a perfect case of New York’s revolving door justice. This is exactly why the crime of DWI continues to pervade our community. The victims of DWI deserve better than that, our community deserves better than that, and I am determined not only to heighten sentences for those who choose to get behind the wheel drunk and murder others, but to reform our state’s broken parole system as well,” said Ball.

Ball now is taking a hard look at the state’s parole guidelines and aiming to heighten them. He stated, “We need to move forward aggressively and intelligently at the local level to make Putnam safer in the wake of this tragedy. This was no accident and could have been prevented. Now, elected officials must do everything in our power to keep
residents safe.”

On June 8, 2010 2009 both Assemblyman Ball and the entire Brewster community were shocked to the core when Garcia-Zacarias drove drunk into the 8-year-old second grader and her mother as they were leaving the Seven Stars School of Performing Arts. Garcia-Zacarias had a blood-alcohol level of twice the legal limit and no driver’s license. Following the devastating tragedy, Ball vowed to reform the state and county DWI laws and formed a coalition of
state and local lawmakers, law enforcement and business owners who all aimed to finally curb the high instances of DWIs in the Hudson Valley and prevent deaths like these from happening again.

Last summer, Ball announced the coalition’s plan, which included agreements to implement a designated driver program, creation of a Task Force on DWI through the Putnam County District Attorney’s Office, implementation of
mandatory countywide TIPS-certified training for bar owners and employees and a public awareness campaign, as well as strengthening countywide DWI laws to include mandatory ignition interlocks, SCRAM bracelets and vehicle
seizure.

On a state level, Ball authored and introduced the toughest DWI legislation in the nation. His statewide bill would heighten all penalties for driving under the influence or DWIs. Ball is in the process of further strengthening the bill to include the strictest possible sentences for those who kill someone while driving under the influence. While Albany agreed to heighten some penalties through the enactment of Leandra’s Law (with Ball’s support) in November, which increases penalties for those who drive drunk with children in the car, a zero-tolerance statewide law was not put on the books. In 2007, Ball also voted to enact Katie Flynn’s Law, which created the crimes of Aggravated Vehicular Homicide, a class B felony and Aggravated Vehicular Assault, a class C felony.

“I support Assemblyman Ball’s initiative to tighten parole laws to help ensure offenders, who continue to pose a danger, do not obtain early release from prison. Justice demands that someone who takes a life while committing
a crime, must pay his debt to society,” Putnam County Sheriff Donald B. Smith said.

“The closing of loopholes in New York sentencing guidelines is necessary. This illegal alien criminal, by actions of his own choosing, took the lives of two of our neighbors and friends. The DWI aspects of these deaths are only half of the story; sadly, the problem of criminal activity among the illegal alien population in our area can only be addressed when our elected officials recognize the scope of the problem and address it in a uniform, consistent way. This means enforcing existing laws and fully prosecuting those individuals who employ illegal aliens,” Ed Kowalski of 9/11 Families for a Secure America said.

Ball stated, “We need to do everything in our power to keep residents safe. That is the most important priority state lawmakers have. What good are tough punishments when our

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Why can’t we have tougher laws against illegals that kill Americans while driving under the influence?

  • Posted on September 28, 2010 at 3:24 pm

Ball on reforming parole guidelines
January21From state Assemblyman Greg Ball, R-Patterson:

IN LIGHT OF DONOHUE SENTENCING,

BALL AIMS TO REFORM

STATE’S PAROLE GUIDELINES

Following the sentencing of Conses Garcia-Zacarias earlier this week, Assemblyman Greg Ball (R, C, I – Patterson) has pledged to reform the state’s parole guidelines and to renew his call that state lawmakers immediately take action to enact a “zero tolerance” for Driving While Intoxicated (DWI) law statewide. Ball is the main sponsor of such
legislation, which he drafted in response to the death of Lori and Kayla Donohue, the Brewster mother and daughter who were killed by Garcia-Zacarias, an illegal alien who was driving while intoxicated.
“Regretfully, the current maximum sentence of 8? years to 25 years is not enough. And sadly, with our state’s current parole guidelines, this killer could be released in one-sixth of that time. Idiotically, corrections Law 803, Section 2, Subsection A outlines the maximum parole for convicts serving concurrent sentences is one-sixth the minimum sentence and one-third the minimum sentence for those serving consecutive sentences. This is despicable and insensitive in this case and a perfect case of New York’s revolving door justice. This is exactly why the crime of DWI continues to pervade our community. The victims of DWI deserve better than that, our community deserves better than that, and I am determined not only to heighten sentences for those who choose to get behind the wheel drunk and murder others, but to reform our state’s broken parole system as well,” said Ball.

Ball now is taking a hard look at the state’s parole guidelines and aiming to heighten them. He stated, “We need to move forward aggressively and intelligently at the local level to make Putnam safer in the wake of this tragedy. This was no accident and could have been prevented. Now, elected officials must do everything in our power to keep
residents safe.”

On June 8, 2010 2009 both Assemblyman Ball and the entire Brewster community were shocked to the core when Garcia-Zacarias drove drunk into the 8-year-old second grader and her mother as they were leaving the Seven Stars School of Performing Arts. Garcia-Zacarias had a blood-alcohol level of twice the legal limit and no driver’s license. Following the devastating tragedy, Ball vowed to reform the state and county DWI laws and formed a coalition of
state and local lawmakers, law enforcement and business owners who all aimed to finally curb the high instances of DWIs in the Hudson Valley and prevent deaths like these from happening again.

Last summer, Ball announced the coalition’s plan, which included agreements to implement a designated driver program, creation of a Task Force on DWI through the Putnam County District Attorney’s Office, implementation of
mandatory countywide TIPS-certified training for bar owners and employees and a public awareness campaign, as well as strengthening countywide DWI laws to include mandatory ignition interlocks, SCRAM bracelets and vehicle
seizure.

On a state level, Ball authored and introduced the toughest DWI legislation in the nation. His statewide bill would heighten all penalties for driving under the influence or DWIs. Ball is in the process of further strengthening the bill to include the strictest possible sentences for those who kill someone while driving under the influence. While Albany agreed to heighten some penalties through the enactment of Leandra’s Law (with Ball’s support) in November, which increases penalties for those who drive drunk with children in the car, a zero-tolerance statewide law was not put on the books. In 2007, Ball also voted to enact Katie Flynn’s Law, which created the crimes of Aggravated Vehicular Homicide, a class B felony and Aggravated Vehicular Assault, a class C felony.

“I support Assemblyman Ball’s initiative to tighten parole laws to help ensure offenders, who continue to pose a danger, do not obtain early release from prison. Justice demands that someone who takes a life while committing
a crime, must pay his debt to society,” Putnam County Sheriff Donald B. Smith said.

“The closing of loopholes in New York sentencing guidelines is necessary. This illegal alien criminal, by actions of his own choosing, took the lives of two of our neighbors and friends. The DWI aspects of these deaths are only half of the story; sadly, the problem of criminal activity among the illegal alien population in our area can only be addressed when our elected officials recognize the scope of the problem and address it in a uniform, consistent way. This means enforcing existing laws and fully prosecuting those individuals who employ illegal aliens,” Ed Kowalski of 9/11 Families for a Secure America said.

Ball stated, “We need to do everything in our power to keep residents safe. That is the most important priority state lawmakers have. What good are tough punishments when our

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Why can’t we have tougher laws against illegals that kill Americans while driving under the influence?

  • Posted on September 16, 2010 at 5:23 pm

Ball on reforming parole guidelines
January21From state Assemblyman Greg Ball, R-Patterson:

IN LIGHT OF DONOHUE SENTENCING,

BALL AIMS TO REFORM

STATE’S PAROLE GUIDELINES

Following the sentencing of Conses Garcia-Zacarias earlier this week, Assemblyman Greg Ball (R, C, I – Patterson) has pledged to reform the state’s parole guidelines and to renew his call that state lawmakers immediately take action to enact a “zero tolerance” for Driving While Intoxicated (DWI) law statewide. Ball is the main sponsor of such
legislation, which he drafted in response to the death of Lori and Kayla Donohue, the Brewster mother and daughter who were killed by Garcia-Zacarias, an illegal alien who was driving while intoxicated.
“Regretfully, the current maximum sentence of 8? years to 25 years is not enough. And sadly, with our state’s current parole guidelines, this killer could be released in one-sixth of that time. Idiotically, corrections Law 803, Section 2, Subsection A outlines the maximum parole for convicts serving concurrent sentences is one-sixth the minimum sentence and one-third the minimum sentence for those serving consecutive sentences. This is despicable and insensitive in this case and a perfect case of New York’s revolving door justice. This is exactly why the crime of DWI continues to pervade our community. The victims of DWI deserve better than that, our community deserves better than that, and I am determined not only to heighten sentences for those who choose to get behind the wheel drunk and murder others, but to reform our state’s broken parole system as well,” said Ball.

Ball now is taking a hard look at the state’s parole guidelines and aiming to heighten them. He stated, “We need to move forward aggressively and intelligently at the local level to make Putnam safer in the wake of this tragedy. This was no accident and could have been prevented. Now, elected officials must do everything in our power to keep
residents safe.”

On June 8, 2010 2009 both Assemblyman Ball and the entire Brewster community were shocked to the core when Garcia-Zacarias drove drunk into the 8-year-old second grader and her mother as they were leaving the Seven Stars School of Performing Arts. Garcia-Zacarias had a blood-alcohol level of twice the legal limit and no driver’s license. Following the devastating tragedy, Ball vowed to reform the state and county DWI laws and formed a coalition of
state and local lawmakers, law enforcement and business owners who all aimed to finally curb the high instances of DWIs in the Hudson Valley and prevent deaths like these from happening again.

Last summer, Ball announced the coalition’s plan, which included agreements to implement a designated driver program, creation of a Task Force on DWI through the Putnam County District Attorney’s Office, implementation of
mandatory countywide TIPS-certified training for bar owners and employees and a public awareness campaign, as well as strengthening countywide DWI laws to include mandatory ignition interlocks, SCRAM bracelets and vehicle
seizure.

On a state level, Ball authored and introduced the toughest DWI legislation in the nation. His statewide bill would heighten all penalties for driving under the influence or DWIs. Ball is in the process of further strengthening the bill to include the strictest possible sentences for those who kill someone while driving under the influence. While Albany agreed to heighten some penalties through the enactment of Leandra’s Law (with Ball’s support) in November, which increases penalties for those who drive drunk with children in the car, a zero-tolerance statewide law was not put on the books. In 2007, Ball also voted to enact Katie Flynn’s Law, which created the crimes of Aggravated Vehicular Homicide, a class B felony and Aggravated Vehicular Assault, a class C felony.

“I support Assemblyman Ball’s initiative to tighten parole laws to help ensure offenders, who continue to pose a danger, do not obtain early release from prison. Justice demands that someone who takes a life while committing
a crime, must pay his debt to society,” Putnam County Sheriff Donald B. Smith said.

“The closing of loopholes in New York sentencing guidelines is necessary. This illegal alien criminal, by actions of his own choosing, took the lives of two of our neighbors and friends. The DWI aspects of these deaths are only half of the story; sadly, the problem of criminal activity among the illegal alien population in our area can only be addressed when our elected officials recognize the scope of the problem and address it in a uniform, consistent way. This means enforcing existing laws and fully prosecuting those individuals who employ illegal aliens,” Ed Kowalski of 9/11 Families for a Secure America said.

Ball stated, “We need to do everything in our power to keep residents safe. That is the most important priority state lawmakers have. What good are tough punishments when our

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Why can’t we have tougher laws against illegals that kill Americans while driving under the influence?

  • Posted on September 6, 2010 at 4:23 pm

Ball on reforming parole guidelines
January21From state Assemblyman Greg Ball, R-Patterson:

IN LIGHT OF DONOHUE SENTENCING,

BALL AIMS TO REFORM

STATE’S PAROLE GUIDELINES

Following the sentencing of Conses Garcia-Zacarias earlier this week, Assemblyman Greg Ball (R, C, I – Patterson) has pledged to reform the state’s parole guidelines and to renew his call that state lawmakers immediately take action to enact a “zero tolerance” for Driving While Intoxicated (DWI) law statewide. Ball is the main sponsor of such
legislation, which he drafted in response to the death of Lori and Kayla Donohue, the Brewster mother and daughter who were killed by Garcia-Zacarias, an illegal alien who was driving while intoxicated.
“Regretfully, the current maximum sentence of 8? years to 25 years is not enough. And sadly, with our state’s current parole guidelines, this killer could be released in one-sixth of that time. Idiotically, corrections Law 803, Section 2, Subsection A outlines the maximum parole for convicts serving concurrent sentences is one-sixth the minimum sentence and one-third the minimum sentence for those serving consecutive sentences. This is despicable and insensitive in this case and a perfect case of New York’s revolving door justice. This is exactly why the crime of DWI continues to pervade our community. The victims of DWI deserve better than that, our community deserves better than that, and I am determined not only to heighten sentences for those who choose to get behind the wheel drunk and murder others, but to reform our state’s broken parole system as well,” said Ball.

Ball now is taking a hard look at the state’s parole guidelines and aiming to heighten them. He stated, “We need to move forward aggressively and intelligently at the local level to make Putnam safer in the wake of this tragedy. This was no accident and could have been prevented. Now, elected officials must do everything in our power to keep
residents safe.”

On June 8, 2010 2009 both Assemblyman Ball and the entire Brewster community were shocked to the core when Garcia-Zacarias drove drunk into the 8-year-old second grader and her mother as they were leaving the Seven Stars School of Performing Arts. Garcia-Zacarias had a blood-alcohol level of twice the legal limit and no driver’s license. Following the devastating tragedy, Ball vowed to reform the state and county DWI laws and formed a coalition of
state and local lawmakers, law enforcement and business owners who all aimed to finally curb the high instances of DWIs in the Hudson Valley and prevent deaths like these from happening again.

Last summer, Ball announced the coalition’s plan, which included agreements to implement a designated driver program, creation of a Task Force on DWI through the Putnam County District Attorney’s Office, implementation of
mandatory countywide TIPS-certified training for bar owners and employees and a public awareness campaign, as well as strengthening countywide DWI laws to include mandatory ignition interlocks, SCRAM bracelets and vehicle
seizure.

On a state level, Ball authored and introduced the toughest DWI legislation in the nation. His statewide bill would heighten all penalties for driving under the influence or DWIs. Ball is in the process of further strengthening the bill to include the strictest possible sentences for those who kill someone while driving under the influence. While Albany agreed to heighten some penalties through the enactment of Leandra’s Law (with Ball’s support) in November, which increases penalties for those who drive drunk with children in the car, a zero-tolerance statewide law was not put on the books. In 2007, Ball also voted to enact Katie Flynn’s Law, which created the crimes of Aggravated Vehicular Homicide, a class B felony and Aggravated Vehicular Assault, a class C felony.

“I support Assemblyman Ball’s initiative to tighten parole laws to help ensure offenders, who continue to pose a danger, do not obtain early release from prison. Justice demands that someone who takes a life while committing
a crime, must pay his debt to society,” Putnam County Sheriff Donald B. Smith said.

“The closing of loopholes in New York sentencing guidelines is necessary. This illegal alien criminal, by actions of his own choosing, took the lives of two of our neighbors and friends. The DWI aspects of these deaths are only half of the story; sadly, the problem of criminal activity among the illegal alien population in our area can only be addressed when our elected officials recognize the scope of the problem and address it in a uniform, consistent way. This means enforcing existing laws and fully prosecuting those individuals who employ illegal aliens,” Ed Kowalski of 9/11 Families for a Secure America said.

Ball stated, “We need to do everything in our power to keep residents safe. That is the most important priority state lawmakers have. What good are tough punishments when our

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What can we do about the killing of American citizens by illegal aliens under the influence?

  • Posted on August 28, 2010 at 2:22 am

Of course, pro-illegal supporters will be the first to say that “Many more Americans are killed by citizens”. I SAY, those killed by illegals would STILL be alive if the illegal that killed them had not come here in the first place!***********************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************DWI killer of mother, daughter gets maximum sentence
By Terence Corcoran • tcorcora@lohud.com • January 14, 2010
CARMEL — An illegal immigrant who was driving with no license and a blood-alcohol level nearly twice the legal limit when he plowed into and killed a Southeast mother and daughter received the maximum sentence Wednesday of 8 1/3 to 25 years in state prison.
Conses Garcia-Zacarias, 35, who has been held in the Putnam County jail since the June 8 fatalities, pleaded guilty in November to two counts of vehicular homicide in the deaths of Lori Donohue, 37, and her 8-year-old daughter, Kayla. The second-grader and her mother were leaving the girl’s dance class at Seven Stars School of Performing Arts in Brewster when Garcia-Zacarias struck them with a pickup truck.
The act instantly took away half of the Donohue family, leaving Robert Donohue and his 5-year-old son, Christopher, grieving for the wife and mother, sister and daughter they lost.
“Explaining to my 5-year-old son that he can never again hug and kiss his mommy and sister has been devastating to him, me and our whole family,” Donohue told the court Wednesday.
Donohue was accompanied in Putnam County Court by more than two dozen friends and family members who took up four of the six rows in the courtroom.
Lori Donohue’s father, John Luhrs, 70, of Bethel, Conn., also gave a victim-impact statement. He placed photos of his daughter and granddaughter on the prosecutor’s table before looking up at Putnam County Judge James Rooney and saying, “Your Honor: A parent’s worst nightmare.”
Lori Donohue grew up in Yonkers and rose through the ranks at Dorian Drake International Inc. in Harrison, where she worked as a sales manager. Kayla attended JFK Elementary School, played softball and swam. She was a Girl Scout and had been collecting cookies to send to troops in Iraq when she was killed.
Kayla Donohue was pronounced dead at the scene of the 6:35 p.m. crash while Lori Donohue was flown to Westchester Medical Center in Valhalla, where she later died.
In an instant, all of our lives drastically changed,” Luhrs said. “Our hearts are absolutely broken — no, our hearts have been ripped out.”
The deaths grieved and outraged the community and reignited the debate about illegal immigration, drinking and driving, and the hiring of undocumented workers.
RelatedGallery: Man gets maximum in DWI deaths
Garcia-Zacarias worked on horse farms in the U.S. for several years and the white, F-350 Ford pickup truck with Florida plates he was driving that night was registered to Valerie Renihan, a horse trainer who leased the house on Tonetta Lake Road in Southeast where Garcia-Zacarias and several other men were living.
Renihan, whose Facebook page said in June that she was working out of Staysail Farm in North Salem, has said through an attorney that she never gave Garcia-Zacarias permission to use the truck and that he got drunk that day and stole the keys.
Neighbors said he and the other men living in the rented house regularly used the vehicle.
Chief Assistant District Attorney Christopher York said the criminal investigation is open and active.
Rooney said Garcia-Zacarias told a probation officer that he was so drunk the evening of June 8 he did not remember the fatal crash.
Police say he sped down the wrong side of Brewster’s Main Street and barreled through a T intersection at routes 6 and 22. The truck crossed the narrow parking area dividing the road from the dance school building and ran over Lori and Kayla Donohue as other horrified parents, children and instructors stood nearby.
Through an interpreter, Garcia-Zacarias expressed remorse and talked about how his actions have hurt his own family.
“I apologize to the family and I ask forgiveness. It was not my intention and it’s something that could happen to any of us,” he said. “I ask them to forgive me. I have my two daughters over there (in Guatemala) who are also suffering because of this.”
Garcia-Zacarias will serve his sentences on the two counts of vehicular homicide concurrently, or at the same time, as stipulated by the law, Rooney said.
“Do not look to me for forgiveness,” Rooney told him in imposing the maximum. “God may grant you mercy, Mr. Zacarias, but this court will not.”
Garcia-Zacarias faces deportation to his native Guatemala after serving his time.
Donohue said his family would fight any effort by Garcia-Zacarias to shorten his sentence.
“At every parole hearing he has, he will see our faces,” Donohue said

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parents that have ONE DWI..does that have any influence in a child custody case if kid was NOT in car?

  • Posted on August 1, 2010 at 6:23 am

i went out for a few drinks with my girlfriend last month. i got really drunk and made the stupid stupid decision to drive home. my daughter was at home with my parents. now im trying to divorce my husband but i know he’s going to try and use my DWI against me. they cant take my daughter away from me can they? i know that they have to prove im an unfit mother to get her taken away from me. this was the first time ive been in trouble with the law.

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Persuasion and Influence – the Powerful Law of Association

  • Posted on January 3, 2010 at 1:07 pm

Wonder why many big companies choose famous TV stars to appear in their commercials and not normal people? It’s because those stars are famous. They represent wealth, reputation, skills, or popularity. When they endorse a product, you associate that star with the product. Hence, if you like the actor, you will get to like the product. And if you use the product, you tend to feel like the endorser too. This is what we refer to in the field of persuasion and influence as the law of association.

Big companies pay professional athletes large sums of money to wear certain shoes or clothes, endorse their perfumes, drive a specific car, or even eat certain foods. You might be wondering why these athletes are even asked to endorse products that are not related to them or their craft. Persuasion and influence is at work here. As long as the association is positive, it is not necessary that the correlation between the sports star and the product be directly related.

Certain people choose their friends very carefully because the behavior or actions of the people they hang out with can very much reflect on them. If you have a friend who later became a criminal, you had better watch your back because those who want to avenge may pour their bitter revenge on you, no matter how innocent you are! Be aware of this persuasion and influence principle before you associate to anyone or anything.

This is even more difficult if you have family members or relatives who portray negativities. Since we cannot choose them the same way we can select our friends, we are often strict in wanting our family members to conform to good moral values and ethics that reflect our own. Parents want their children to observe proper conduct because other people associate their children with their father and mother.

When their kids win contests or exhibit great talents, their parents are always proud to associate with them and say, “That’s my son (or daughter).”

That’s the power of association at work, and it’s not limited to people. In fact, you can associate the quality of a person, place, thing, event or anything you can think of, with the subject of your persuasion and influence.

Just think about the clothes that people are wearing. What would you think of a person wearing a cross necklace? You would probably think he is religious. You might associate someone in military attire as disciplined and brave, while someone wearing shades as cool.

If you want to make them feel something they’ve experienced in the past, you may say something like, “Remember the last time we went nature-tripping? It was the most invigorating experience we’ve ever experienced, isn’t it? We’re going to experience it again in the trip we’re going.”

The purpose is to alter the mindset and emotion of the person you’re persuading by using the right key of association. You want them to associate you or your product with positive emotions, ideas or factors. The power of persuasion and influence is fascinating, isn’t it?

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My dad is an alcoholic who drives under the influence. What should I do? We do not live in the same town.?

  • Posted on January 1, 2010 at 7:32 pm

I am his oldest child, and only daughter . My mom diedl

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