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Should I allow my kids, ages 10 and 12, to visit their father who is currently under house-arrest?

  • Posted on March 19, 2011 at 1:22 am

My ex-husband is serving 36 days under house arrest and another 10 in jail for a second drunk-driving charge and a hit & run accident. He wants his regular visitation, which is every other weekend, but I’m hesitant because he shows no remorse for what he’s done wrong and he still seems unstable.
My daughter refuses to spend the night there although she will see him during the day. My son is okay about going. My ex-husband called me today and threatened that I had better not call the courts to check on his driving status. I don’t care what he thinks but I am concerned with sending the kids into such a volatile situation.

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Should I leave alcoholic military husband? Kids involved.?

  • Posted on February 26, 2011 at 8:17 pm

My husband has been an alcoholic since I married him in 2001. We had a long distance relationship and then got married without ever really spending quality time together. I had no idea he was an alcoholic. He is a good man but so consumed by the need to get drunk every night that I find myself completely miserable. We now have 2 beautiful daughters and I am scared to death. My 7 year old has to go to counseling this week because her behavior is out of control. She is exhibiting classic characteristics of “children of alcoholics.” I have been avoiding this and trying not to notice for years now. I have begged and pleaded with him. I have told him the things that he has said and did (never violent) while he was drunk. He ignores us, disappears into the garage all weekend and passes out on the couch by 7:30 pm on the couch during the week. I am left to pick up the pieces and take care of everything anyway regarding the kids. I cannot go out with my friends because I cannot trust him with the girls – I am worried he will pass out and leave them without supervision (this happened in the past). But if I leave then he will get visitation and I will worry about what will happen on those nights when they are with him and he is the only adult there to watch them. I worry about the finacial aspect. We live on 2 incomes. But I worry that if I stay then the girls will have to live this life because I didn’t have the nerve to leave and that kills me.
Here is the thing. I am so worried about what everybody else is going to say or how they will treat me. Most people just love him and have no idea. The girls love him and don’t really get it. They are too young to understand that his drinking is affecting the family unit. They see me upset but I don’t think they know why. My husband is currently deployed to Iraq which makes me look so bad. I am a military spouse and I hate hearing stories of wives or husbands upsetting or leaving their spouses during deployments. It tears my heart out to think about it.
I find myself wanting to make him happy. Not wanting to hurt his feelings or make his life harder. How sick is that? I know he loves me and the girls. He is a good man, a hard worker, and a good provider. But the one thing we need – his attention, his presence – is what we are missing everyday. He refuses to get help and thinks that he can stop on his own. He does stop for about 2 weeks at a time and then it strats right back up.
Does anybody have any ideas or feedback? It just feels so wrong to start this process and do this to him while he is deployed. If I wait until he gets back, when is the right time to do it then? Is there ever a “right” time?
My children come first. The realization this past week that my daughter needs counseling has sent me into overdrive. I am so angry and I feel so guilty for allowing this to happen to her. She has a hard time making friends, she gets angry very easily, she is taking things from other children then pretending to find them and give them back, she is lying a lot and defiant to me. She does not trust that people will follow through with promises because so many have been broken. I know I am doing what I need to do to take care of her. But what do I do to take care of all of us?
Can I get him to leave the house? We own our house but have a sizable mortgage. Since I am the one thinking of leaving is it my responsibility to leave the home and find somewhere else for the girls and I to live?
He will not be open to discussing this. He will be absolutely devastated and heartbroken. I am beyond that. My heart was ripped out a long time ago. I am empty of emotion, I have no energy anymore. I actually look forward to going to work just to escape everyday.
Any input would be greatly appreciated.

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Are you obsessed with buying your kids clothes?

  • Posted on February 26, 2011 at 1:21 pm

I love clothes shopping for my daughter. She is 9 months old, and every time I go to the mall I have to buy her a new outfit or shoes or hair bow or something. I try to get things on sale or clearance as often as possible, so I don’t spend a fortune. Do you moms have this addiction? Does it go away when you have more kids?
LOL my excuse is “I’ll have more kids soon… hopefully at least one will be a girl, so she’ll wear this clothes, so I’m basically shopping for two!”

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Daughter is moving out of state, with young kids, with no shelter, healthcar etc.. anything my mother can do?

  • Posted on February 24, 2011 at 6:20 am

We live in Indiana and my sister in law told my mother in law today that her and her boyfriend and there two young kids are going to up and move to Illinois to get away from family. We have recently caught on to them doing drugs, by the way. We believe she is addicted to pain pills and doing meth. They are going to Illinois, and they will have no where to live, healthcare, etc… Is there anything I can do or is this some form of neglect??? Any insight would be appreciated. Thanks

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my husband refuses to give up smoking cocaine it’s been one our kids are older now what should i do. i pray

  • Posted on February 17, 2011 at 1:22 pm

you know wedding vows are serious. we have been married 18 years and have 3 daughters. age of girls 19, 14, & 12. to have this continue is not good how do i get him to seek help.

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Isn’t it kind of sad that the media goes after politician’s kids to make a point for their side?

  • Posted on February 14, 2011 at 1:21 pm

Allegedly Biden’s daughter did cocaine. And some in the media can’t wait to sink their teeth into it.

Reminds me of the ridiculous media treatment of Bristol Palin.

http://www.nypost.com/seven/03282009/news/nationalnews/friend_of_bidens_daughter_shopping_tape__161772.htm

http://www.radaronline.com/exclusives/2009/03/world-exclusive-vice-president-biden’s-daughter-caught-cocaine-scandal

(Left liked to use Bristol to target Palin’s views on sex ed and questioned Sarah Palin’s parenting ability…now the right likes to use this to target Joe Biden’s “drug czar” name and personal character…)

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Parents: Do you have a clothes shopping addiction for your kids?

  • Posted on February 6, 2011 at 7:21 am

Am I the only one with this problem? Every time I go to the mall for something I actually need I always end up seeing something that would look nice on my daughters or my son. I buy it, I can’t resist. Then I feel bad so I go out and buy one more thing for every child (I have 4). I mean I don’t spend a drastic amount of money, and frankly my hubby doesn’t really mind, but I was wondering if any other mums are like this?

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How do you feel when your kids are sick?

  • Posted on January 16, 2011 at 3:24 pm

My poor 20 month old daughter is having the worst week of her life! Found out she has lice on Monday, we took care of that, but as many parents know, it’s like a two week long ordeal, combing, washing clothes, sheets, towels, checking everyone in the house, blah blah blah. I felt guilty when I found out, naturally. And she’s the only one who has it, I think it came from a stupid hat at Walmart (I will NEVER make that mistake again).

So today we wake up and she’s throwing up. She’s throwing up, not a lot, but fairly frequent and is dry heaving. I feel terrible and like I have failed as a mother. I’m crying and a blubbering mess, it’s really embarrassing, I should be able to handle this kind of thing? This is my second child and I’ve gone through worse with the first, I just feel like she doesn’t deserve to be sick, or get lice. I know it happens but I’m just wrecked over it. Mainly because she’s the only one who’s sick – or has lice.

Does anyone else feel this bad when their kids are sick?

Also what do you do for your sick baby? What are foods or drinks you give them? She’s eaten a little and has water in a sippy cup. But my moms going to the store and getting us supplies but told me to call her if I think of anything else.

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How do you feel when your kids are sick?

  • Posted on January 16, 2011 at 3:24 pm

My poor 20 month old daughter is having the worst week of her life! Found out she has lice on Monday, we took care of that, but as many parents know, it’s like a two week long ordeal, combing, washing clothes, sheets, towels, checking everyone in the house, blah blah blah. I felt guilty when I found out, naturally. And she’s the only one who has it, I think it came from a stupid hat at Walmart (I will NEVER make that mistake again).

So today we wake up and she’s throwing up. She’s throwing up, not a lot, but fairly frequent and is dry heaving. I feel terrible and like I have failed as a mother. I’m crying and a blubbering mess, it’s really embarrassing, I should be able to handle this kind of thing? This is my second child and I’ve gone through worse with the first, I just feel like she doesn’t deserve to be sick, or get lice. I know it happens but I’m just wrecked over it. Mainly because she’s the only one who’s sick – or has lice.

Does anyone else feel this bad when their kids are sick?

Also what do you do for your sick baby? What are foods or drinks you give them? She’s eaten a little and has water in a sippy cup. But my moms going to the store and getting us supplies but told me to call her if I think of anything else.

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What do you think of kids drinking VIRGIN drinks?

  • Posted on January 9, 2011 at 7:23 am

My husband and I never go out. We are with our daughters, ages 9 & 12 every second except while they’re at school. We do everything together, and are very close and open with one another.We have a great relationship with our girls. My question is this:
My husband and I occasionally make mixed drinks at home, such as strawberry margaritas, pina coladas, etc. and we drink them AT HOME, we DO NOT drink and drive EVER.
Sometimes we make the girls VIRGIN margaritas and they really like them.They like drinking fruity drinks, and they know to NEVER get into our alcohol.
Do you think it’s wrong for us to let them drink the virgin drinks? Is it sending them a bad message? I’ve always looked at it in the aspect that we are showing them that people are supposed to drink at HOME and NEVER drive when drinking. Am I wrong?

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