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Be a Man and Take the Masculine Role

  • Posted on July 2, 2009 at 2:20 pm

Over the past 60 plus years we’ve witnessed an amazing turn of events. Men and women have become equal in almost every way. An equally amazing event has occurred in that same time period; men are no longer acting like men. Men suppress the fact that they have a Y-chromosome because of a constant pressure to express the sensitive and feminine that is inside of us (yes, you have all of that inside of you… you can’t deny the X-chromosome we all carry).

Allow me to clarify before I go any further. It is the opinion of this writer that, without any equivocation, men and women are equal. Neither is better than the other. However, there can be no denying that they are different. “Equal” does not mean identical.

This article is not about the differences between a man and a woman. Nor is it about equal rights or abilities. This article is about the way men have begun to hide or deny their masculine side rather than embrace and take pride in it.

The continued battle for equality between men and women is absolutely necessary. However, it is my opinion that this has been overdone in some areas. Men have left behind the core of what we are… the natural behaviors that create the raw attraction between men and women. Think back to the primal age. The fact that a man could protect and provide for a woman made him physically appealing and sexually attractive to the woman. On the flip side of that, the ability to nurture, care for and raise healthy children were the characteristics that males desired in a female.

Do you think that the fundamental nature of these desires in man and woman has changed?

My opinion is that it hasn’t. The need for physical protection or physically hunting and gathering has been eliminated due to society, technology and industry. However, the primal drive for sexual attraction between men and women is still the same; just disguised and suppressed, particularly by men. We’ve done it to ourselves.

More clarity is needed. I am not suggesting that we become the belligerent, loudmouthed idiots that we see in bars to prove our manhood. I also do not condone displays of physical strength, bullying or violence to prove you are superior to another man. These are simply acts of cowardice and insecurity, not of masculinity or power.

What I am suggesting is that we allow the core of who we are to surface. To allow our current or potential mate to see that we truly want to take charge and ravish her body. That deep in our soul we want to give in to our desire and devour her. This is not to physically harm, mistreat or demean her by any stretch of the imagination. This is simply to release the beast that we restrain each and every day. This can be accomplished and still keep you within the boundaries of our social environment; it is not about what you say, it is about what you allow your girl to see and feel. It is so invigorating to learn how to be free and unashamed of the masculine prowess pent up inside of most of us.

Based on the interviews I have conducted this presence is also something that the women in our lives are craving as well so long as it can be delivered in an environment in which she feels safe and respected for responding.

Here is a simple step to fall into raw masculinity:

Conquer Fear – For too long now we have believed that women want to us to be like them…sensitive to feelings, nurturing, and accommodating. This is only a half truth. They absolutely want us to be capable and willing to be sensitive to feelings, to be nurturing, and socially adept. But that does not mean to be those things all the time. It means you are able to provide those things when the situation calls for it. There is a significant difference between being and simply being capable. Make no mistake.

The fear of what people will think of us has dominated and forced us to push the real man inside of us into a corner. Stop being concerned with what people will think of you for expressing your desires the woman in your life. Allow your raw energy, including your love and even your feminine expression, to exude from your masculinity. This includes your lust and raw sexual desires.

None of this is done verbally or vulgarly. It is simply your state of being without shame or reserve.

Warning around sexual appeal – While it is perfectly acceptable to release and exude your sexual prowess, there are limitations. You must tame the beast when appropriate – this includes your work place or with women whom you do not know.

Do not come out and say you are sexually attracted; that is a sign of insecurity and low self-confidence. This is not about vocalizing your manhood or expressing it in a manner that makes you look like a fool. It is about showing up as the male of the species instead of what you think a woman wants you to show up as.

This is about being willing to be masculine and showing the world that you have balance: that you have sexual prowess and testosterone flowing through your system as well as an excellent balance of nurturing and intellect to make you an ideal partner.

If you need approval or permission… You have it now!

It is perfectly acceptable for you to be a man. Raw, powerful, and full of desire! Be the man you were born to be!

Phil Gilliam is the founder and president of AverageGuy, Inc. His goal is to positively impact the lives of 1 million men through education and coaching. Visit
AverageGuy.com
to find out how you can consistently and confidently take the masculine role.

Article Source: Be a Man and Take the Masculine Role

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Ten Ways to Balance Work with Play

  • Posted on July 1, 2009 at 10:12 pm

Many companies are now facing and executing significant layoffs. Not only does this cause havoc for the ones ‘laid-off’, it also creates an enormous burden on the ones left behind.

With increased responsibilities being placed on workers, stress becomes even more of a problem.

Added to that are the on-going responsibilites at home — tighter squeeze on the home pocket book, greater stress being felt by everyone, people are looking for a way out. Sometimes an escape is what is needed. Other times, that might not be a possibility.

How to deal with this?

We at Fun-Wey have put together a list of 10 ways to balance all the things you do that fall into the category of work/responsibility with all the things that are ‘fun’ — the things we call PLAY.

Take a look below:

1. First of all, sit down as a family and look at the distribution of work-load. Is everyone doing their fair share? Has one person’s load increased far more than the others’? If so, can you spread it out more evenly? While doing this consider not just work obligations, but also think about each person’s other ‘out-of-the-home’ involvements, such as choir, coaching soccer, volunteering at the food bank, etc. Remember to honestly look at the energy that these things require, and weigh that against the energy that needs to go to everything else.

We recommend doing this on an annual basis, but when something major changes in your family life, it is extremely important to do so.

2. Next, talk about the kinds of things that you’re doing as a family that are fun. Do you go swimming at the local rec centre weekly? Does the family honour the Friday night ‘pizza and a movie’ tradition? Do you have guests for dinner on a regular basis? Are there annual vacations? As a unit, the family needs to consider the importance of those stress relieving activities and make sure that enough of them are in place.

3. Of course, both of the above conversations will involve talking about money — is there enough for this year’s treck to Disneyland, or the kids’ annual camp week? Do Mom and Dad still have a date night at least once a month? What kinds of activities can you do as individuals, as a couple and as a family that don’t put a squeeze on the wallet, but still intrigue and excite you?

4. Get the entire family involved in planning a monthly event that is FREE — this could be going for a walk on the SeaWall (if you live near water), sharing dinner as a picnic on the living room floor complete with blankets, kool-aid, and sandwiches, or having a night of board games or cards. These kind of events — by their very nature — take your mind off everything else, and provide you with a couple of hours of stress-free time.

5. If your new responsibilities at work necessitate overtime, sit down with a financial planner to see if the extra hours actually result in any substantial increase in your income. Often the additional income puts you into a new tax-bracket and the larger portion of your added income goes out in deductions. Too, sometimes longer hours result in added costs — more meals out, higher child care costs; when that happens, you are not further ahead and should decline the extra hours (if that is an option.)

6. Find ways to cut costs at home — this can be a really fun activity! Once again, we recommend getting the whole family involved. Kids can take on part-time jobs like mowing the neighbour’s lawn or raking leaves or shovelling snow. After school child care might be shared with a friend or neighbour. Teach your kids to turn off lights, tv’s and other appliances that are not in use — save on your monthly bill. Maybe you are paying too much in telephone, internet costs, or cable costs. Sometimes your provider will bundle these services in cost-saving plan that might leave a few extra dollars in your pocket.

Then, as a family, see how much your total savings add up and decide how to spend them — get a new, more energy efficient refrigerator, a more fuel-efficient car, or start using public transportation. There may be enough savings to enable your entire family to plan a great vacation together.

7. Make sure that you are doing something stress-less EACH DAY! Just like prayer or meditation, a time for fun is a daily must. Perhaps you go for a quiet solitary walk on your lunch, or head to the library for an interesting talk. Perhaps you do something different at the end of the day — go for a swim, head out for a ‘pole-dancing’ class or stroll through a local garden centre for inspiration. Whatever it is, that break will do wonders for your breathing, your stress levels, and your state of mind. Set an example for your family and encourage all of them to do the same.

8. Take time to give. I know, it sometimes seems like all you do is ‘give’, but look at giving in a different way. One of the things we decided to do this year was become involved in a local ‘feed the unsheltered homeless’ program. Once a month the adults in our family, along with the older children donate a few hours on a Saturday to provide meals for this unfortunate group. It completely changes your perspective. And helps the kids realize how good they actually have it. It makes a warm cozy bed seem like a luxury, and a hot shower something to really appreciate. And it helps you prioritize those things that are important to your family, as a family.

9. Honour the ‘joker’ in the family. Every family seems to have one — you know the member I mean. In our family we have more than one. They are always saying or doing the most ridiculous things. The more serious members get their knickers in a knot and start huffing and chuffing. It’s so beneficial to the entire family when we can actually laugh at the silliness. We once worked with a lady who did all kinds of silly things — tied balloons to her glasses and walked around the office just to hear the snickers and giggles. Even a few moments of silliness will re-energize you. So let loose.

10. On that same note, organize theme dinners and parties. Encourage your friends or neighbours to ‘play’ too. Have everyone bring a pot-luck Saturday dinner and wear their silliest hat. Or something outrageously orange! Or pink socks. As you chat and giggle together, you’ll find yourself bonding with one another, creating memories that are wonderful, and forgetting about work. What could be better?

We hope these ideas will start you thinking about your own ways to balance work and play. If you think of other ones, better ones, or have a story to tell about your family’s successes, please feel free to share them — we’d love to hear about them.

Linda has been coaching and counselling women and care-givers for over 5 years. Her clients come with fear, guilt and a complete lack of spontaneity. They end up with a sense of freedom, FUN, and play.
Most clients report that they sleep better and feel more alive after working with FUN-Wey. For a free sample coaching session, visit http://www.fun-wey.com/sample.html

Article Source: Ten Ways to Balance Work with Play

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