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I dont think i can do this thing called life anymore?

  • Posted on May 13, 2011 at 1:22 am

Hi My daughter Audrey past away in May 7th 2008 she was 7 days old the doctor said it was sids it wasnt i havent gotten the death cert, yet . Life goes in waves as
far as mt depression.I feel so guilty for her passing i feel like i
should or could have prevented her death in s.The doctors tell me over
and over that it wasnt me but i cant get seem to understand or fathem
it .I have had such anxiety for the past couple of weeks and i have not
been unable to eat anything for 2 weeks ,I know im not pregnant because
i have no sex drive.My friend commited suicide on the3rd of this month.
Im beginning to understand because this life does suck.I have made so
many bad choices in my life. I refect on them alot. I was a heroin
addict for 1 year i gave my mom gardianship of Kyle that is my first
son. ive been clean for 4yrs. i never call him or see him because of
that guilt i just dont know what to say other then im a suck ass mom
and im sorry so sorry .
I soo
failed him as a mom. I found my ex-fiance dead prior to the drug
abuse.I never used drugs while pregnant with Audrey.While pregnant with
her i tried to eat right take my vitemins ect…
Now The thought of food makes me feel so ill the smell makes me feel
nausous.My hair is falling out in clumps.
At one time i was somewhat religous now im one step from an atheist. I
go through times were i sleep 20hours in a 24hour day that can go on
for 3 to four days at a time.I dont know how to deal with my thoughts
anymore there are way to many thoughts that i cant control. I feel like
im really loosing all love for life. I just hate me.
Thanks for reading im just such a peice of shit…I already know that.
The only joy i have is work but then after 8 hours i need to go
home.When im at work im distracted when im home im unable to half the
time complete a sentence or even think.. I really guess i dont have a
question or maybe i do.
Thanks for ready and hopefully your replies.
marie

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My 25 yr. old Daughter is taking the pleaseure out of life.?

  • Posted on April 19, 2011 at 5:23 am

My 25 year old Daughter lives at home. She left for about a year to try a marriage, nope.
She’s in her 6th year college we foot the bill. She wakes for school only if we get her up. She is incapable of waking herself.
Her car we bought brand new, is beat to pieces and has a new ding almost daily.
Her room is not fit for a Dog to live in, I beg for her to take control of it.
She works for me or she could not hold a job, I kick her into gear everyday.
Not an ounce of responsibility from this grown woman.
She drinks and/or gets drunk at least 3 times a week, also drives.
She thinks because she’s nice to me she’s not being disrespectful.
She thinks this is how her crowd lives that is how being 25 is.
I feel she’s old and getting older. It’s time for me to have an adult friend out of my Daughter and not a teen nightmare.
I’m losing feelings for a kid I would have died for.
She always says she gets it and will start a change tomorrow.
Do I disown her? I am stressed and miserable.

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I have serious internet addiction, and it’s ruining my life.?

  • Posted on April 14, 2011 at 7:21 pm

I lost my wife, my job, and my 4 sons and 3 daughters because of my addiction. i’m now living with my mom until i can find another job. i’m using my mom’s laptop right now. My wife tried for years to get me help, but i refused her help because i didn’t think i had a problem back then. i beat my kids several times for saying i have a problem and that’s why my wife and kids left me. i can’t stop crying right now. all i do on the internet is watch youtube and play runescape. i’m on for over 14 hours daily. i got so fat and ugly, i hate my body and my life.

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I have serious internet addiction, and it’s ruining my life.?

  • Posted on April 9, 2011 at 4:21 am

I lost my wife, my job, and my 4 sons and 3 daughters because of my addiction. i’m now living with my mom until i can find another job. i’m using my mom’s laptop right now. My wife tried for years to get me help, but i refused her help because i didn’t think i had a problem back then. i beat my kids several times for saying i have a problem and that’s why my wife and kids left me. i can’t stop crying right now. all i do on the internet is watch youtube and play runescape. i’m on for over 14 hours daily. i got so fat and ugly, i hate my body and my life.

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Y/A has destroyed my life, What should I do?

  • Posted on March 30, 2011 at 1:21 am

I lost my well paid job. My wife divorced me. My daughter has become a hooker. My son has become a drug dealer. My car, 50″ TV and House was taken away from me. Im currently homeless with a laptop, using WIFI in McDonalds. What Can I do? – This addiction has ruined my life…
yeah Mark, Give me your best stuff *shivers*

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I do i convince a judge that i am done being a criminal and want to live a life free of crime?

  • Posted on March 15, 2011 at 10:21 am

I was arrested on a check crime back in July to support my meth addiction. (I forged checks on my ex boyfriends account. We also share a daughter and he takes care of her). I knew that my life had become unmanageable and i had tried everything to break the addiction cycle. I checked into a treatment center and graduated their intensive inpatient program in 8 weeks. now i reside in a half way house. I recently excepted a managing position at a local cellular phone company that works with me so that i can attend my self help groups 5 times a week. I also go to AA/NA meetings regularly. I have been slowly paying off my debt to society. I will be getting my 6 month sobriety chip next month and i am slowly putting my life back together. I do have a public defender that said “You grabbed the bull by the horns and ran with it.” But will a judge see it that way? I am so scared to go to prison. If you were the judge would you think i deserve prison? My sentencing date is the beginning of Dec.

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My life is a mess. What should I do with it?

  • Posted on March 10, 2011 at 7:21 pm

I am a single mom with 2 children 7 boy and 13 girl. My daughters father is in prison and my sons father and I recently got divorced because of his heroin addiction but still together because I can not seem to move on from him. Maybe it is because of lack of people and relitives or my low self esteem. Well anyway I recently moved my children from one city to another and my daughter is taking is very hard. She went from being the popular happy go lucky teenage girl to a depressed sad one. The place we moved to there are not many kids her age and I feel like I made a bad choice to move out of the city. should I go back to the city that we moved out of? I seem to not be able to get out of my own way never mind making their lives better.

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Should a daughter be expected to set her life aside for a mom who won’t grow up?

  • Posted on January 27, 2011 at 1:21 pm

My mom has been taken care of her whole entire life as much as I can remember. Well, my grandmom has recently had a stroke and is no longer able to take care of my mom (which by the way is addicted to crack cocaine). So I am sort of in the middle of a rock and a hard place. I have my own two children to care for and I’m barely making it. My question is, is it my responsibility to take care of my mom now? It’s either me or the streets. Has anyone her ever been in this kind of position?
By the way, I have taken steps to get her help. I had her sent to a detox for 24 hours and it kind of shook her up a bit, but after one month, she’s back out there and thinks she can leave for a couple of days and then come back and pretend she’s going to try. I really don’t think she’s fully ready and I have to look out for my children first.

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How will I not lose my cool in court tomorrow? My ex-husband is a low life meth head…?

  • Posted on January 24, 2011 at 2:20 pm

He didn’t call or some see our daughter for over 4 mos. so I got a court order stopping his visits so she would no longer have to wonder every Sun. if he was coming, so now he is saying it’s all my fault, waagh, waagh. The judge didn’t believe anything he said the last 2 times but he still just makes me sooo mad. The judge is going to talk to our daughter, she is 13, and I’m not really concerned about the outcome, if I can sit quietly and ignore his lying BS. The judge is also the drug court judge so recognizes his behavior. Help, I’m letting this creep have too much time in my head!
She knows, without me saying a word.
I am a recoverying alcoholic addict, 2 1/2 years clean,–since the day I left him!
thanks guys, for the kind words, it does help settle me down, yes I use the this too shall pass daily. And I have a good man who is also a recovering addict and my daughter adores him. We’ve been together 22 months.

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Why does sometime I feel not being part of life?

  • Posted on January 22, 2011 at 4:21 pm

Is hard to explain but my life it’s been complicated.Let’s start with
my guilts of my past. I don’t have a diploma not to say that I’ve been for my classes many time and didn’t stay to finish.I have goals I won’t accomplish nothing.!’m lazy in many way’s and feel down a lot. I don’t know why I lie so much and did wronge to baby mom and lost her not only but she took my daughter that crushes me daily not being able to see my daughter growing up not only but also sharing with my daughter. I haven’t kept a job for a whole year and also I have an addiction problem. I walk on a tredmeal and dont seem to go know were, Why?
Thank you.

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