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My life is a mess. What should I do with it?

  • Posted on March 10, 2011 at 7:21 pm

I am a single mom with 2 children 7 boy and 13 girl. My daughters father is in prison and my sons father and I recently got divorced because of his heroin addiction but still together because I can not seem to move on from him. Maybe it is because of lack of people and relitives or my low self esteem. Well anyway I recently moved my children from one city to another and my daughter is taking is very hard. She went from being the popular happy go lucky teenage girl to a depressed sad one. The place we moved to there are not many kids her age and I feel like I made a bad choice to move out of the city. should I go back to the city that we moved out of? I seem to not be able to get out of my own way never mind making their lives better.

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An addict…A child…A mess… Your advice please?

  • Posted on February 3, 2011 at 1:21 am

My daughter’s biological father has just come into our lives (very much unwanted) after 3 years of the unknown. She is now 3, so yes her entire life, and for my entire pregnancy he has MIA. I found out that he was using drugs 4 days after I found out I was pregnant and out he went. I didn’t want any part of that for myself or my unborn child. I had my best friend by my side the entire time, who is now my husband and the only father my daughter has ever known. We have a great little family and then out of no where, this man comes back into our lives. We both got attorneys b/c he is still partying and doing the same old thing, but the state I live in is “pro-family”, so they think at absolutely no matter what the biological parents are into personally, they should have a relationship with their child. I think it would be great for my daughter to know her biological father, of course if he had something of value to offer her. Since we have been in court we have had a temp. visitation plan that allows him every Sunday for 6-7 hours. She has now started saying the “f” word, the “B” word, Dumb A**, and make gun sounds by saying “Bang Bang”… I am completely disgusted and I am honestly scared for my daughter’s well being… My attorney is so passive that I need to personally step up my game and dig into this. So my question is could a person how regularly shoots up Oxy and Heroin stop using drugs but continue to drink heavily? Please help me! :)

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BIG MESS!!!! & How could my druggy husband pass his drug test?

  • Posted on October 25, 2010 at 5:21 am

I am going through some VERY hard times right now. I have been married for 15 years to this man & since the past 4 years he started using & abusing drugs. (Lortabs, oxycontin, oxycodone, percecets, morphene suckers and marijuana & whetever else he could get his hands on. LONG story short, his abuse has destroyed our family. I have 2 children, one is 19 yrs old from former relationship, (I got married to him when she was only 3yrs). We also have a daughter together who is now 3 years old.
He had gotten so out of control he threatened to hit my 19 yr old & I stepped in between to protect her & he threatened to knock us both in the floor, but didn’t. I ended up leaving with my 2 girls hoping things would calm down in a day or two. I called him to try to see what frame of mind he was in to see if it was safe to return home, he only sounded as MAD as ever!!! He says it’s because I took our 3 yr old girl. (I didn’t want to, but I felt I had to for everyone’s safety). Well, he actually made threats against me & my 19 yr olds life on about 4 different phone calls…..(he didn’t come right out & say he would “kill us”, but it certainly was implied! Such as saying things like …”I will use all my money, power & resorces to get you & Joshualyn (my 19 yr old daughter) out of the way!!!” because he said that “NO ONE will ever keep him away from his daughter!” (our 3 yr old). another time he said “because I have done this unpardonable sin (of taking our 3 yr old away) that I am driving my own nails in my coffin!” The man isn’t even in his right mind anymore! anyway, that was just a couple phone conversations with him. Well of course I have a protection order now & I filed for a divorce about 2 weeks ago. (this all happened about 1 month ago now). Ok, now we have our lawyers & I demand hair follical drug testing because I KNOW with my own eyes for a FACT he did drugs! But lo & behold HIS HAIR & URINE test came back CLEAN!!!! How can this be??? Does anyone know HOW someone can pass a test like that when you are indeed doing drugs? Oh yes, I need to say that this past June (after years of pleading) he did go to a detox place, which he did just now complete, BUT he was Still smoking pot up till the day I left 1 month ago. & was also abusing the narcotic “Subutex” they gave him to get off ALL the other junk! SO why didn’t ANYTHING show up???? Please help, I don’t know how he could have done this! ???

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My husband addicted to drugs but PASSED drug test! How can this be??? BIG MESS! HELP!!!?

  • Posted on August 21, 2010 at 3:20 am

I am going through some VERY hard times right now. I have been married for 15 years to this man & since the past 4 years he started using & abusing drugs. (Lortabs, oxycontin, oxycodone, percecets, morphene suckers and marijuana & whetever else he could get his hands on. LONG story short, his abuse has destroyed our family. I have 2 children, one is 19 yrs old from former relationship, (I got married to him when she was only 3yrs). We also have a daughter together who is now 3 years old.
He had gotten so out of control he threatened to hit my 19 yr old & I stepped in between to protect her & he threatened to knock us both in the floor, but didn’t. I ended up leaving with my 2 girls hoping things would calm down in a day or two. I called him to try to see what frame of mind he was in to see if it was safe to return home, he only sounded as MAD as ever!!! He says it’s because I took our 3 yr old girl. (I didn’t want to, but I felt I had to for everyone’s safety). Well, he actually made threats against me & my 19 yr olds life on about 4 different phone calls…..(he didn’t come right out & say he would “kill us”, but it certainly was implied! Such as saying things like …”I will use all my money, power & resorces to get you & Joshualyn (my 19 yr old daughter) out of the way!!!” because he said that “NO ONE will ever keep him away from his daughter!” (our 3 yr old). another time he said “because I have done this unpardonable sin (of taking our 3 yr old away) that I am driving my own nails in my coffin!” The man isn’t even in his right mind anymore! anyway, that was just a couple phone conversations with him. Well of course I have a protection order now & I filed for a divorce about 2 weeks ago. (this all happened about 1 month ago now). Ok, now we have our lawyers & I demand hair follical drug testing because I KNOW with my own eyes for a FACT he did drugs! But lo & behold HIS HAIR & URINE test came back CLEAN!!!! How can this be??? Does anyone know HOW someone can pass a test like that when you are indeed doing drugs? Oh yes, I need to say that this past June (after years of pleading) he did go to a detox place, which he did just now complete, BUT he was Still smoking pot up till the day I left 1 month ago. & was also abusing the narcotic “Subutex” they gave him to get off ALL the other junk! SO why didn’t ANYTHING show up???? Please help, I don’t know how he could have done this! ???

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BIG MESS!!!! & How could my druggy husband pass his drug test?

  • Posted on August 19, 2010 at 7:22 am

I am going through some VERY hard times right now. I have been married for 15 years to this man & since the past 4 years he started using & abusing drugs. (Lortabs, oxycontin, oxycodone, percecets, morphene suckers and marijuana & whetever else he could get his hands on. LONG story short, his abuse has destroyed our family. I have 2 children, one is 19 yrs old from former relationship, (I got married to him when she was only 3yrs). We also have a daughter together who is now 3 years old.
He had gotten so out of control he threatened to hit my 19 yr old & I stepped in between to protect her & he threatened to knock us both in the floor, but didn’t. I ended up leaving with my 2 girls hoping things would calm down in a day or two. I called him to try to see what frame of mind he was in to see if it was safe to return home, he only sounded as MAD as ever!!! He says it’s because I took our 3 yr old girl. (I didn’t want to, but I felt I had to for everyone’s safety). Well, he actually made threats against me & my 19 yr olds life on about 4 different phone calls…..(he didn’t come right out & say he would “kill us”, but it certainly was implied! Such as saying things like …”I will use all my money, power & resorces to get you & Joshualyn (my 19 yr old daughter) out of the way!!!” because he said that “NO ONE will ever keep him away from his daughter!” (our 3 yr old). another time he said “because I have done this unpardonable sin (of taking our 3 yr old away) that I am driving my own nails in my coffin!” The man isn’t even in his right mind anymore! anyway, that was just a couple phone conversations with him. Well of course I have a protection order now & I filed for a divorce about 2 weeks ago. (this all happened about 1 month ago now). Ok, now we have our lawyers & I demand hair follical drug testing because I KNOW with my own eyes for a FACT he did drugs! But lo & behold HIS HAIR & URINE test came back CLEAN!!!! How can this be??? Does anyone know HOW someone can pass a test like that when you are indeed doing drugs? Oh yes, I need to say that this past June (after years of pleading) he did go to a detox place, which he did just now complete, BUT he was Still smoking pot up till the day I left 1 month ago. & was also abusing the narcotic “Subutex” they gave him to get off ALL the other junk! SO why didn’t ANYTHING show up???? Please help, I don’t know how he could have done this! ???

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Would you be upset if your spouse came home drunk and left you with the mess?

  • Posted on August 9, 2010 at 5:24 am

My husband and I have been married for 11 years. I really do love him and we have a great marriage normally. We are past that whole immature stage where we pick fights with one another, or nag and complain, etc. We are just a normal married couple.
My husband is not much of a drinker. He has a chronic illness where one unit of alcohol is actually good for him, so he usually has one bottle of beer with his dinner. I have no problems with this. But drinking excessively is NOT good at all for his condition. He usually gets drunk once a year at his work’s Christmas party.
The other evening he was going to his class reunion. He decided to walk there and back as it was only one mile from our house and he thought he might have a few drinks (no driving). So at 5:30 pm I kissed him goodbye and told him not to drink too much and to be careful. He said that he would only have a few drinks and that he’d probably be home early.
I waited up for him to make sure that he got home safe. When 3:00 am came, I decided to go to bed. He stumbles in the door at 3:30 am with red eyes and he stinks like he bathed in a barrel of whiskey. He kicks off his shoes and climbs in bed and immediately falls asleep. I don’t say anything and I go back to sleep as well.
At 5:30 am, my husband sits upright in bed and vomits everywhere. I jumped up and turned on the lights and pulled him over to my side of the bed. I get him a bucket and he promptly pukes into that again. He is sitting there with vomit and drool dripping down his chin, so I get him a glass of water and wipe up his face. I pull off his clothes and cover him with my blanket and stripped down his side of the bed. I spent the next half hour getting the blankets, sheets and his clothes into the wash and scrubbing the mattress while he passes out again. After I am done all that, I have no choice but to go and sleep in our daughter’s bed with her while our mattress is drying.
The next afternoon when he wakes up he says “Thanks for last night”. And I just said “Yup.” He then asks me if I am upset and I replied that I thought what he did was really stupid. I told him that he shouldn’t be drinking like that with his medical condition, he shouldn’t be walking home alone in the city drunk and that he promised me that he wouldn’t drink to the excess and instead he pukes around in our bed. He thinks I’m overreacting.
Would you be upset if your spouse did this? Please be honest as I don’t really know if I am overreacting. Thanks!

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Step-daughter and a big mess?

  • Posted on July 29, 2010 at 5:22 am

I need help urgently. We got my husband’s daughter back when she was still 15. At the time, she was strung out on meth and narcotics. She was paying for her meth and pills with her body in ways too sickening and heartbreaking to list. Her mother dumped her off unceremoniously one day. We got her cleaned up and we came pitbulls. We have literally chased one dealer off with a ball bat. She’s also a well-trained compulsive liar. She dropped out of school at 14 due to the drugs and no supervision from Mom. We didn’t know it but she was living with an Oxycontin addict and gambler at one time. Her boyfriend now is 35. Okay, she’s been to more than one counselor. The doc has her on meds for depression as it runs in her mother’s side of the family. But this morning, I was walking to the kitchen and saw a tiny ziploc with a bit of powdery stuff in it on the floor. I picked it up and some of the granules looked like sugar crystals. I believe it to be meth.
I forgot to put this in: We certainly DO NO allow to smoke, drink or let her go out with guys of that age.She knows rules but she doesn’t care. We called the police and guess what? It’s okay to do whatever as long the child is in by midnight as the AGE of CONSENT is 16. And everything is so top secret with her. It’s like pulling teeth! She lies compulsively and she won’t GO to a treatment center (re-hab) and my husband’s insurace would at pay 100% for a nice, nice place in Utah.She was forced by the court to to meetings, but it did no good. She had one-n-one counsling and then group therapy. For awhile after she got a job, she was relaively responsible. Now it is all starting again. I can see the signs from the last time. I’d like her to have a nice life and that is NOT a nice life.

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