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How to get SIL to stop doing the MIA’s every weekend?

  • Posted on October 26, 2010 at 12:17 am

My SIL & brother come in from the city every weekend. Just about every weekend she diaspears to do crack and binge drink, leaving the care and responsiblity of my two nephews with us. They just dont care, they lack total empathy. My youngest nephew (3) has down syndrome and frequent seizures, he is tube fed. The ‘button’ is infected and I’m so scared I will over dose him in on his meds bc I just dont know when he is suppose to have what. I feel so incompetant and stressed. I live with my parents bc they are elderly and have some health problems. I have 2 daughters 5 & 5mos, plus a neices & nephews that we raise 7 & 10. My father just had a knee surgery & my mother is just getting over pnemonia. Last night my Sil & brother came to town. He left to help a friend who got stuck. Not long later my SIL was talking with me in the kitchen, she left the room and I heard a door open and close… she snuck out! She most likely wont return till Monday, stay in the guest room for 2 days and come out angry w/ us! This all just happens so often that its become normal. They do this on birthdays, Thanksgiving, Easter, Christmas. I mean when I was 39wks pregnant, my mother was sick w/ pnemonia, my father had strep, and they left for a week! This was when my nephew w/ down syndrome just started getting tube fed & no one was told about anything. Its difficult bc you just learn how to give him his meds and the docs change them and she doesnt inform us on ANYTHING! Her oldest son was living with us last year bc he couldn;t miss any more school or he would fail. He started coming to me with owiies and problems and she got mad at me! He’s 9 and when they disapear I’m the one talking to him, telling him its not his fault. She cant even use the excuse that the youngest is stressful bc this has been going on 4 ten yrs! She misses they youngest ones appointments and takes none of it serious. It does no good to talk to them bc nothing changes & it causes even more problems. We all feel like we’re enablers but what do we do? If she did this to her family once, they would call CPS on her in a heart beat. she never does anything like this to them EVER and I’m soooo angry! What do I do?
I guess why I’m letting my brother ‘off the hook’ or not coming down as hard is because he has a disability as well & his finer motor skills are lacking thus he can’t really give meds or do feedings. Thank you for all the feed back.

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How to get SIL to stop doing the MIA’s every weekend?

  • Posted on October 23, 2010 at 12:16 pm

My SIL & brother come in from the city every weekend. Just about every weekend she diaspears to do crack and binge drink, leaving the care and responsiblity of my two nephews with us. They just dont care, they lack total empathy. My youngest nephew (3) has down syndrome and frequent seizures, he is tube fed. The ‘button’ is infected and I’m so scared I will over dose him in on his meds bc I just dont know when he is suppose to have what. I feel so incompetant and stressed. I live with my parents bc they are elderly and have some health problems. I have 2 daughters 5 & 5mos, plus a neices & nephews that we raise 7 & 10. My father just had a knee surgery & my mother is just getting over pnemonia. Last night my Sil & brother came to town. He left to help a friend who got stuck. Not long later my SIL was talking with me in the kitchen, she left the room and I heard a door open and close… she snuck out! She most likely wont return till Monday, stay in the guest room for 2 days and come out angry w/ us! This all just happens so often that its become normal. They do this on birthdays, Thanksgiving, Easter, Christmas. I mean when I was 39wks pregnant, my mother was sick w/ pnemonia, my father had strep, and they left for a week! This was when my nephew w/ down syndrome just started getting tube fed & no one was told about anything. Its difficult bc you just learn how to give him his meds and the docs change them and she doesnt inform us on ANYTHING! Her oldest son was living with us last year bc he couldn;t miss any more school or he would fail. He started coming to me with owiies and problems and she got mad at me! He’s 9 and when they disapear I’m the one talking to him, telling him its not his fault. She cant even use the excuse that the youngest is stressful bc this has been going on 4 ten yrs! She misses they youngest ones appointments and takes none of it serious. It does no good to talk to them bc nothing changes & it causes even more problems. We all feel like we’re enablers but what do we do? If she did this to her family once, they would call CPS on her in a heart beat. she never does anything like this to them EVER and I’m soooo angry! What do I do?
I guess why I’m letting my brother ‘off the hook’ or not coming down as hard is because he has a disability as well & his finer motor skills are lacking thus he can’t really give meds or do feedings. Thank you for all the feed back.

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How to get SIL to stop doing the MIA’s every weekend?

  • Posted on October 15, 2010 at 1:17 am

My SIL & brother come in from the city every weekend. Just about every weekend she diaspears to do crack and binge drink, leaving the care and responsiblity of my two nephews with us. They just dont care, they lack total empathy. My youngest nephew (3) has down syndrome and frequent seizures, he is tube fed. The ‘button’ is infected and I’m so scared I will over dose him in on his meds bc I just dont know when he is suppose to have what. I feel so incompetant and stressed. I live with my parents bc they are elderly and have some health problems. I have 2 daughters 5 & 5mos, plus a neices & nephews that we raise 7 & 10. My father just had a knee surgery & my mother is just getting over pnemonia. Last night my Sil & brother came to town. He left to help a friend who got stuck. Not long later my SIL was talking with me in the kitchen, she left the room and I heard a door open and close… she snuck out! She most likely wont return till Monday, stay in the guest room for 2 days and come out angry w/ us! This all just happens so often that its become normal. They do this on birthdays, Thanksgiving, Easter, Christmas. I mean when I was 39wks pregnant, my mother was sick w/ pnemonia, my father had strep, and they left for a week! This was when my nephew w/ down syndrome just started getting tube fed & no one was told about anything. Its difficult bc you just learn how to give him his meds and the docs change them and she doesnt inform us on ANYTHING! Her oldest son was living with us last year bc he couldn;t miss any more school or he would fail. He started coming to me with owiies and problems and she got mad at me! He’s 9 and when they disapear I’m the one talking to him, telling him its not his fault. She cant even use the excuse that the youngest is stressful bc this has been going on 4 ten yrs! She misses they youngest ones appointments and takes none of it serious. It does no good to talk to them bc nothing changes & it causes even more problems. We all feel like we’re enablers but what do we do? If she did this to her family once, they would call CPS on her in a heart beat. she never does anything like this to them EVER and I’m soooo angry! What do I do?
I guess why I’m letting my brother ‘off the hook’ or not coming down as hard is because he has a disability as well & his finer motor skills are lacking thus he can’t really give meds or do feedings. Thank you for all the feed back.

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How to get SIL to stop doing the MIA’s every weekend?

  • Posted on October 13, 2010 at 11:19 am

My SIL & brother come in from the city every weekend. Just about every weekend she diaspears to do crack and binge drink, leaving the care and responsiblity of my two nephews with us. They just dont care, they lack total empathy. My youngest nephew (3) has down syndrome and frequent seizures, he is tube fed. The ‘button’ is infected and I’m so scared I will over dose him in on his meds bc I just dont know when he is suppose to have what. I feel so incompetant and stressed. I live with my parents bc they are elderly and have some health problems. I have 2 daughters 5 & 5mos, plus a neices & nephews that we raise 7 & 10. My father just had a knee surgery & my mother is just getting over pnemonia. Last night my Sil & brother came to town. He left to help a friend who got stuck. Not long later my SIL was talking with me in the kitchen, she left the room and I heard a door open and close… she snuck out! She most likely wont return till Monday, stay in the guest room for 2 days and come out angry w/ us! This all just happens so often that its become normal. They do this on birthdays, Thanksgiving, Easter, Christmas. I mean when I was 39wks pregnant, my mother was sick w/ pnemonia, my father had strep, and they left for a week! This was when my nephew w/ down syndrome just started getting tube fed & no one was told about anything. Its difficult bc you just learn how to give him his meds and the docs change them and she doesnt inform us on ANYTHING! Her oldest son was living with us last year bc he couldn;t miss any more school or he would fail. He started coming to me with owiies and problems and she got mad at me! He’s 9 and when they disapear I’m the one talking to him, telling him its not his fault. She cant even use the excuse that the youngest is stressful bc this has been going on 4 ten yrs! She misses they youngest ones appointments and takes none of it serious. It does no good to talk to them bc nothing changes & it causes even more problems. We all feel like we’re enablers but what do we do? If she did this to her family once, they would call CPS on her in a heart beat. she never does anything like this to them EVER and I’m soooo angry! What do I do?
I guess why I’m letting my brother ‘off the hook’ or not coming down as hard is because he has a disability as well & his finer motor skills are lacking thus he can’t really give meds or do feedings. Thank you for all the feed back.

  • Share/Bookmark