You are currently browsing all posts tagged with 'mistreated'

How can I file a complaint about being mistreated by a magistrate in the Gary Indiana court?

  • Posted on August 30, 2010 at 7:23 am

I went to court over child support last year. I had allowed my older 2 kids to stay with their father after an earthshattering experience caused me to have to start all over from scratch. I kept my youngest 2 with me because they are not his and their father is no good. My ex and I had a good relationship for a while. I would provide any help I could with food, clothes, shoes, etc… Then he met someone and decided that I was nto doing enough and the mandatory child support order issued at the custody hearing became something he now said I owed him all along (even though he specifically told me not to worry about it). I am now working part time, going to school, and I have taken back my oldest son and am seriously considering the same with my daughter. Here is the big dilemma. He sent my son here last summer and has spoken to him maybe 3x since then, no order has been signed (he wrote a not to the school board though and told them he lives with me), and now the state is garnishing my wages for child support for my son and daughter (when he lives with me). They are taking 55% of my income, it is ridiculous. I make minimum wage, he makes a whole lot more (around 50-60k a year (thanks to the job i got him). He is now married to someone with money and the only reason he is asking for the money I owe now is that all her money goes on her 2 kids and his has to pay their bills. My daughter gets nada, nothing. I buy her shoes, clothes, school supplies, medication, toys, etc.. Up until this point he had an attorney and I didn’t. When I asked the judge to appoint a guardian ad litem to help with the kids, the GAL got me in with the pro bono commission because he said I was getting shortchanged. Now I have an attorney who wants to file a child support ammendment after the custody transfer is legal, but he wants to file for it to change from the date of filing. I was told by another Indiana atty (a child support atty) that I can request a change from the time my son moved in.
I would do this but I went to court in December and the magistrate presiding over the case (my kids father collected fraudulent welfare benefits in one city while living with his wife in another). I tried to tell this magistrate that my son had been living with me. He screamed at me to shut up. I swear I never met this man and had not been rude or done anything disrespectful. I tried to tell him 2 more times and he threatened to jail me if I said one more word (he could because of the failure to pay support). Now I have seen this man in action on other cases. 2 of my friends sued their exes for support and this man told them that the guy needed money to live and they needed to stop being greedy (in both cases the kids were over 10 and had never received support). I feel he is hateful toward women and I don’t knwo what to do. I told my atty but he said he has a good rapport with him. My whole world is riding on the outcome of this case. There is a lot more details I would need to explain to give the full story but there wont be enough room. I called CPS on their father because the one time he took my son for the day, he came back intoxicated (he is 12). My daughter has medical problems that are ignored due to a lack of money (because it goes on her daughters’ extracurricular activities). I really would have paid what I could over the years but he said it was not a problem. Then last year….wham!! I also tried to explain this to the judge as well as the fact that I buy their stuff and he sent them for the summer with not 1 stitch of extra clothing so I had to go out and buy it all over agian (even thought he stuff at his house was paid for by me); but the guy told me he did not care. I said “Your honer, it isn’t fair to ask me to pay support for a child who lives in my home that I am supporting” then he said “I really don’t care, you will pay it or go to jail” I said “I am not able to pay 75.00 a week and raise my kids” He said “So you are saying you aren’t paying it and I should send you to jail right now”. At this point I informed him I didn’t even make that much money and he said then pay half of what I did make. I have made a lot fo stupid mistakes in my life, but I have never neglected my kids. If it weren’t for me, he owuld have let them wear shoes and clothes that were sizes too small forever while he bought expensive stuff and took trips with his now wife. I just do not understand this state.
So can I file a complaint about the magistrate? If he would have listened then my check would not be garnished right now and I wouldn’t be trying to figure out how to make it till next payday on what is left. Technically according to the child support calculator I would owe him (i think it said) less than 25.00 a week, he would owe me (approx) 135.00 a week. This means after subtraction he owes me 110.00 a week for the last 8mths and plus no one gave me credit for all the money I spent buying their stuff over the years because he would not do it….A

  • Share/Bookmark

My bf mistreated me and I moved away w/our baby and my older daughter, I feel very angry w/him. Is this normal?

  • Posted on July 30, 2010 at 12:18 pm

He was often short, ugly and insecure. He would stonewall, and gaslight. He did three tours and Iraq. I have known him for seventeen years. I had no prior romantic interest in him and he put a tremendous amount of pressure on me after he was in divorce proceedings with his wife who asked for a divorce.
He only got married the first time because he got her pregnant after seeing her a month, and this baby I have by him was conceived in spite of birth control and condoms.

He didn’t speak to his mother for over a year after she kicked out his grandchildren over issues that involved control of grandchildren a few months after he got out of the Army. When this happened she focused her anger on me. She looked up my court history that was more than ten years old and mailed it to his ex. She spoke hatefully about me in a verbose manner in an e-mail she sent him and she made sure the pre-school his children attended got a copy of this. His (now) ex-wife had cheated on him and physcially abused him. She also assumed we were romantically involved when we weren’t when he was married and she sent me vulgar, hateful text messages and a year later starting harassing me via crank calls over a two day period. His mother had physically abused him as a child. I helped him care for his children and eventually he had to rent an in-law from my parents. His wife concealed an entire pregnancy from him and binge drank vodka when she was pregnant, and sought no medical attention. This was in part because of the fact she cheated -she didn’t know who the father is-we still don’t know and that child is almost 4. His children are troubled and he can’t see it. She is a very under-involveld/neglectful mother and yet he is supportive of this and intolerant of me. I feel that I am the only “safe” person to take his resentment out on. I no longer speak to him, but I find myself very angry at him for mistreating me. I am currently seeking counseling. I don’t worry about harming either one of my children. I just find myself withdrawn. I have read about emotional abuse and trauma. I have read that emotional abuse is sometimes more psychologically damaging than physical abuse because of its frequency. He was often so ugly and he would needle and needle and needle and I would finally say something hateful and ugly back to him. I don’t want to be that kind of person. My older child is fairly well adjusted. She is academically gifted, adults just love talking to her and she is personable and happens to be a successful child model. I gave a lot of attention to her when she was small-I nursed extensively and spent a lot of time bonding with her. I brought her to counseling when her father was no longer in our lives-the therapist was amazed at her vocabulary by three and after some time felt my daughter was ok to move on. I was always a single mother. She is now ten. I want to be able to give attention to my baby somewhat to the degree that I did my first child(which is impossible because now I have two). I feel as if I stayed there I would be further diminished with nothing left to give my children or myself emotionally. I don’t think it was wrong of me to leave the father of my child in another state. He wanted to get married-I said No. I just find myself so angry at him for mistreating me after knowing me so many years. Is it normal to feel this way?

  • Share/Bookmark