I have two daughters a 2 1/2 yr old and a 10 month old. I babysit my niece who is also 2 1/2 yrs old. The problem is that my sister in law was drinking heavily last weekend when a family member brought my niece back to her after a birthday party, she also had 3 other males in the home with her drinking. My sister in laws father went to the home and tried to get my niece out of there and she refused to give her up so he called the police and they came and said yes she was intoxicated but she was in her own home so they could do nothing about it, she was the ONLY parent there!! She is playing it off like she is allowed to have a few drinks while she is taking care of her daughter, I think it is irresponsible and completely wrong, but I would like to know your guys feedback on this?? I am to the point that I don’t even want to watch my niece because that forces me to see my sister in law to whom I want nothing to do with at this point. I would never drink with my children in my care!!
She is a single parent 23 yrs old, that father is in the picture he keeps her mon. tues. and weds.10am to 9 pm. I keep her thurs. fridays and every other saturday. The father claims that he is trying for custody but has done nothing to get that going. This is not the first time she had done something like this, but it is the first time that everyone in the family knows about it and fears for my nieces well-being. I want to protect her so much I just dont know how to get through to my sister in law.
My niece does have a good father but for some reason seems nervous to pursue any custody, they have been separated for about 3 months. One thing that does scare me is that she has had to take her to the hospital quite a few time in the middle of the night, just two weeks ago she had to call 911 because my niece stopped breathing she a an allergic reaction. But I know of at least once she had been drinking and still had to take her to the hospital.
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- child care providers
- child development
- child ego state
- child experience
- Childhood
- child of promise
- Children
- children's
- children..is
- children attention deficit hyperactivity disorder
- children in crisis
- children of promise
- children of the earth
- children tantrums
- childsafety
- child safety gates
- childs development
- childs education
- child support amount
- child support guidelines
- child support modification
- child support payments
- child therapists
- chill out
- chill out music
- chills
- china
- chinchilla
- CHINESE
- chinese civilization
- chinese culture
- chinese government
- chinese medicine
- chinese method
- Chiropractic
- chirrosis
- Chittlens
- chloroform
- chocolate
- chocolate mocha
- Choice
- choices
- choked
- cholesterol
- cholesterol level
- Choose
- choosed
- chooses
- Choosing
- chopped
- Choroideremia
- chorus
- Chris
- chris brown
- Christian
- christian meditation
- christians
- christmas
- chronic
- chronic anxiety
- chronic disease prevention
- chronic fatigue
- chronic illness
- chronic stress
- chronological age
- chrysalis
- chunks
- Church
- cialis
- Cider
- cigarette
- cigarette packets
- cigarettes
- circle of friends
- circle of life
- circles
- Circleville
- circumference
- circumstance
- circumstances
- circumstantial
- citation
- citizen
- citizens
- City
- city of toronto
- city states
- civil
- civilization
- claim
- claims
- clarify
- clarity
- class
- classes
- classical acupuncture
- classic baby
- classmate
- Classroom
- classroom sizes
- classroom type
- clause
- clean
- clean break
- cleansing system
- cleansing the body of toxins
- clean underwear
- clean water
- clear
- clear as a bell
- clearer skin
- clementines
- Cliched
- cliches
- clichesfalling
- Click
- cliff....
- climates
- climbers
- clinic
- clinical background
- Clinics
- clock
- Clorox
- close
- closed
- close friends
- closeness
- closer
- close relatives
- closer look
- closest thing
- clothes
- clothing products
- clots
- cloud 9
- clouds
- club
- club drugs
- clubs...
- clue
- clumps
- clutches
- clutter
- coach
- coaching soccer
- Cobain
- Coca
- cocaethylene
- cocaine
- cocaine/possession.
- cocktail
- coconut oil
- cocoon
- code
- codene
- codependence
- codependent.
- codine
- coffee
- coffee date
- coffee makers
- coffee shop
- CoFounder
- cognition
- Cognitive
- cognitive aspect
- cognitive behavioral therapy
- cognitive behavioral treatment
- cognitive behavior therapy
- cognitive behaviour therapy
- cognitive development
- cognitive functioning
- cognitive symptoms
- cognitive therapy
- coke
- Cola
- Cold
- cold hard cash
- cold symptoms
- cold turkey
- cold water
- Cole
- colic
- collaboration
- collage
- collapse
- collateral damage
- colleague
- colleagues
- College
- college basketball players
- college degree
- college education
- college financial aid
- college scholarship
- college scholarships
- colleges schools
- college students
- Color
- Colorado
- color combinations
- colored yarn
- colorful furniture
- colorful ribbon
- coma
- coma patients
- combination drug
- combination of the two
- come
- comebacks
- comedy
- comes
- comfort
- comfortable.
- comfortable place
- comfort zone
- comfy chair
- comic strip
- coming
- comingofage
- Comings
- commcercials
- commented
- comments
- commercial architect
- commercials
- Commission
- commit
- commitment
- commitments
- Committed
- committment
- common
- commonality
- common disease
- common factor
- common fears
- common myths
- common sense approach
- commonwealth
- communicate
- communication skill
- communication skills
- community model
- Company
- company objectives
- compare
- compass
- compassion
- compatibility
- compel
- compell
- competence
- competency
- competent children
- competing
- competition center
- competitiveness
- competitive world
- complain
- complained
- complaining
- complaint
- Complementary
- Complete
- complete background check
- completely
- completeness
- complexities
- complexity
- compliment
- complusive
- component
- components of emotion
- composed
- composite fillings
- composite resin
- compounds
- comprehension
- compromise
- compulsions
- Computer
- computer games
- conceievd
- Conceived
- concentration
- concern
- concerned
- concerning
- concert
- Concerta
- concerted effort
- conciltation
- conclusion
- concrete actions
- concrete bricks
- condition
- conditioned response
- Conditions
- conducive environment
- conductor
- conduits
- confessed
- confidence
- confirm
- conflict
- conflicts
- conformity
- confront
- confronted
- confused
- Confused...Boyfriend
- confusing
- confusion
- congratulate
- congress
- Connecting
- Connection
- connections
- connot
- conscience
- conscious act
- conscious acts
- conscious choice
- conscious effort
- conscious mind
- consciousness
- consent
- consequence
- consequences
- conservative
- conservatives
- conservatorship
- consider
- considered
- Considering
- consistency
- consistent basis
- consistent time
- conspiracy
- Conspire
- constant
- constant fear
- constantly
- constants
- constant search
- constipated
- constipation
- Constitutional
- constructive
- constructive criticism
- Consulate
- consultation
- Consulting
- consumer motivation
- consumer protection officials
- consumers
- consuming
- consumption
- contact
- contact dermatitis
- contacted
- containers
- contemplation
- contempt
- contentment
- contest.
- contingency
- continue
- continuese
- continuing
- continuous connection
- continuous minutes
- continuous pain
- continuous performance test
- contour
- contraction
- contractions
- contracture
- contradictions
- contrary
- contrary to popular belief
- contributed
- control
- control cravings
- controversial.
- controversy
- convenience
- convenience store
- Conventional
- conventional approaches
- conventional medication
- conversational hypnosis
- conversations
- convict
- convicted
- convictions
- convince
- convincing
- convincing case
- cookbook author
- cooked
- cookie
- cool
- cooperation
- cooperatives
- cooperative support
- Cope
- Coping
- coping skills
- coping with bereavement
- coping with grief
- coping with stress
- copper deposits
- cops
- coral rose
- Core
- core ideas
- cornea
- cornerstone
- cornyn
- coronary heart disease
- corporate ladder
- corporate retreats
- correct angle
- correct environment
- correct exercise
- Correctional
- Corrections
- corrective actions
- correct outcome
- correct time
- correlation
- corrupting
- cortex
- cosmetic surgery
- cost
- costly purchase
- cotton
- cotton thread
- couch
- couch potatoes
- Cougar
- cough
- cough.Doctor
- coughs
- could
- couldn't
- council
- counrty.
- counseling
- Counselingfrom
- counseling office
- counselling
- counsellor
- counselor
- count
- counter
- counterpart
- countless books
- countless numbers
- countries
- country
- countryside
- counts
- count women
- county
- couple
- couple days
- couple of days
- couple of minutes
- couples
- couple shares
- couple times
- couple weeks
- courage
- course
- coursework
- court
- courts
- cousin
- cousins
- covenant
- cover
- covered
- covers
- co worker
- co workers
- cows
- cpr
- crack
- crack/powder
- cracking
- cradle cap
- cramps
- Crank
- crap
- crash
- cravings
- crazies
- crazy
- crazy feeling
- crazy girl
- cream
- crease
- creating
- creating a budget
- Creative
- creative ecstasy
- creative person
- creative spirit
- creative talents
- creative thinking
- creative visualization
- creative writing
- creativity
- credible steps
- Credit
- creepy
- Cremation
- cribs
- Crime
- crimes
- criminal
- criminals
- CriminologyCriminal
- cripples
- crises
- Crisis
- crisis hotline
- criterion
- critical
- critical time
- criticized
- critisize
- Crosbyton
- crossed
- crossings
- cross trainer
- cross water
- crowd
- CROWN
- crown chakra
- Crucial
- Crucible
- cruise
- crummy job
- crusher
- crying
- cryptic words
- crystal
- crystal healing
- Csection
- c sections
- Cuba.....na
- cue
- Cullen
- culprit
- culprits
- cult
- cultural revolution in china
- cultures
- cup.
- Cup/Free
- cupboard
- cupboards
- Cupid
- cups
- curbs
- Cure
- cure books
- cures for insomnia
- curfew
- curiosity
- Curious
- current condition
- current flame
- currently
- current situation
- current state
- current technology
- curse
- cursed
- curtains
- curve
- curve ball
- custodial
- custodial parent
- custody
- custody...a
- Custody/Texas
- custody/visitation
- CUSTOMER
- customer service clerk
- cutting
- cutting edge
- cyber
- cycle
- Cycles
- cyst
- cysts
- czar
- D.F.A.C.S.
- dad
- dad/daughter
- Daddy
- DADDY's
- Dads
- Daily
- daily basis
- daily chores
- daily details
- daily joke
- daily planner
- daily reminder
- daily routine
- dairy products
- Dakota.
- Dallas
- damage
- damaged
- damaging
- damn
- damper
- dance
- dancer
- Danger
- Dangerous
- dangerous/weird.
- dangerous cycle
- dangerous effects
- dangerous interaction
- dangers
- daniel levin
- daring
- darkest hour is just before dawn
- darkest hours
- darkness
- darkness into the light
- Date
- date of birth
- dating
- dating service
- daugher
- daughter
- daughter&Sonin
- daughter...Help
- daughter...i
- daughter...Im
- daughter.he
- daughter.WHY
- daughter/using
- daughterget
- daughterinlaw
- daughterinlaws
- daughter is addicted to drugs
- daughter is addicted to meth
- daughter is addicted to oxycontin
- daughter on drugs
- daughters
- daughterthey
- daughterwhat
- daughterwho
- daughter’s
- daughtr
- daugter
- David
- david hawkins
- david massey
- dawn of hope
- day.
- day.Is
- day at a time
- daycare
- daycare center
- daycare provider
- day golf
- day of our lives
- days
- days of the week
- day tasks
- day time
- daytime tv
- dcfs
- dead
- deadbeat
- dead cells
- dead end job
- deadlifts
- deadly signs
- deal
- dealbreaker
- dealer
- Dealers
- Dealing
- dealing with breakup
- dealing with conflict
- DEALING WITH STRESS
- deals
- deal with stress
- Dear
- dearest beloved
- dear life
- Death
- death bed
- death in the family
- death of a friend
- death of a loved one
- deaths
- Debate
- debit cards
- debris
- debtors prison
- debts
- decades
- decay
- December
- decibel alarm
- decision
- decisions
- decrease
- decree
- dedicated
- dedication
- Deeds
- deepak chopra
- deep breath
- deep breathing
- deep breaths
- deep cleaning
- deep desire
- deep healing
- deep relaxation
- deep sleep
- deep sorrow
- deep trance
- default
- Defeat
- defects
- defense
- defense response
- Defensive
- defensive measures
- Defiant
- deficiencies
- Deficiency
- deficit hyperactivity disorder
- definitely
- definitive guide
- degrassi
- degree.
- dehydrated
- dehydration
- Delautin
- delegation
- deliberate action
- deliberate attempts
- delicate balance
- delicious fruits
- deliver
- delivering babies
- delivery system
- delusional
- delusions
- delusions hallucinations
- demand
- dementia
- demise
- Democracy
- Democrat
- Democrats
- demons
- dendrite
- denial
- denial anger bargaining
- denied
- Dennis
- densities
- density memory
- dental care
- dental check
- dental work
- dentist
- Denver
- Deny
- DepartmentCity
- departments work
- dependent
- depends
- depersonalization
- deport
- deportable
- deported
- depressed
- depressed/alcoholic
- depressed feelings
- depressed moods
- depressed patient
- depressed patients
- depressed person
- depressed state
- depressed teens
- depresses
- depression
- depression/selfmutilation
- depression exhibit
- depression medication
- depression medications
- depression meds
- depressions
- depression studies
- depression sufferers
- depression symptoms
- depression treatment
- depressive disorder
- depressive disorders
- depresson
- Deprivation
- derivation
- dermatitis
- dermatologist
- descendants
- Describe
- descriptive
- deserve
- designated
- Designed
- design engineering
- desire
- desired outcome
- desires
- desk
- despair
- desperate
- desperately
- desperation
- Despiration
- destroy
- destroyed
- destroying
- detaching
- detachment
- Detail
- Detailed
- details
- detain
- Detangling
- detect
- detectable
- Determinants
- detox
- detox/rehab
- Detoxify
- detoxifying foot pads
- Detoxing
- detoxing..can
- detrimental
- devastation
- develope
- Developed
- Development
- developmental signals
- development parenting
- devil
- devious
- dextroamphetamine
- dFAS
- diabetes
- diabetic
- diabetis
- diagnosed
- diagnosis
- DiagnosisCauses
- diagnostic
- diagnostic tests
- dialogue
- diamond bracelet
- diaper.
- diapers
- diarehea/
- diarrhoea
- diarriea
- diary
- dick
- dictionary
- dictionary meaning
- didn't
- Didn’t
- die..
- died
- Diego
- dies
- diet
- diet exercise
- diethow
- dieting
- diets
- Difference
- Different
- different child
- different companies
- different kinds
- different kinds of viruses
- different life
- differently
- different meaning
- different products
- different reality
- different reasons
- different seasons
- different stages
- different styles
- different things
- different times
- different trains
- different types of motivation
- different ways
- difficult
- difficult decision
- difficult situations
- difficult times
- Difficulty
- difficulty in breathing
- digestive problems
- dignity
- dilated
- dilemma
- diluted
- dime
- dim the lights
- dinner
- dinosaurs
- Dione.
- directive counseling
- Directives
- director
- dirt
- Dirty
- dirtyan
- disagree
- disagreement
- disagreements
- disappear
- disappeared.
- disappears
- disappointed...
- disappointment
- disasters
- disc
- discipline
- disciplines
- disc jockey
- disco
- discontent
- discontinuation
- discontinuation syndrome
- discontinuity
- discount coupons
- discourage
- Discover
- discover 5
- discovered
- Discovering
- discovery
- discpline
- discrepancy
- discrimination
- disdain
- diseases
- disgusting
- disgusts
- dishes
- disillusional
- disney
- Disorder
- Disorders
- disorders of the vestibular system
- disown
- disowning
- disparity
- displacement
- disposable phones
- dispose
- disqualified
- disrespected
- disrespectful
- dissapointed
- dissatisfaction
- distant
- distinction
- distinct lack
- distraction
- distractions
- distressing conditions
- distributing
- district
- disturbing
- disuse
- ditched
- ditzy
- diversity
- divert
- Divine
- divine spirit
- divorce
- divorce...how
- divorced
- divorced parents
- divorce proceedings
- Divorce…two
- divorcing
- Dixie
- dizziness
- dizziness lightheadedness
- do/think
- DOCS
- doctor
- doctors
- doctors office
- Doctrine
- Documentary
- Dodd
- dodge
- doesn't
- doffee
- dog.
- dog days
- doggie
- doghouse
- dog lovers
- dog owner
- dog owners
- dogs
- doguys
- doing
- doing business
- doll
- dollar
- dolls
- dolphin
- domestic
- domestic abuse
- domestic abuse victims
- domestic chores
- domestic violence shelter
- domestic violence survivor
- domestic violence survivors
- dominant factor
- Dominion
- don't
- done
- Donohue
- door
- doors
- dopamine
- dope
- Dora
- dosage
- Dose
- Double
- double blessing
- double doors
- Doublestandards
- doubt
- doubts
- doughnuts
- Down
- downfall
- downloading
- downside
- downtown
- downward spiral
- Dr's
- dr abraham
- drag
- dragon
- dragon warrior
- drags
- Drain
- drama
- dramatic increase
- dr andrew
- drank
- drastic
- drawback
- drawing
- drawl
- dread
- Dream
- dreamer
- dream interpretation
- dreamland
- dream lifestyle
- dreams
- dresser
- dressup
- dribble
- Drid
- dried
- drifting
- drill...
- Drink
- drink.She
- drinker
- drinkers
- Drinking
- drinking.i've
- drinking alcohol
- drinking and drugs
- drinking water
- drinks
- drive
- drive men
- driven
- Driver
- drivers
- drivershe
- drives
- drive traffic
- driveway
- driving
- driving force
- Drivingmadd
- driving seat
- dr jeanne king
- drop
- dropout
- dropped
- dropper
- dropping
- drops
- drove
- dr thomas gordon
- drubbing
- Drug
- drug/alcohol
- Drug Abuse
- drugabusing
- drugaddict
- drugaddicted
- drug addiction
- drug addicts
- drugged
- Druggies
- Drugging
- druggy
- druglike
- drug rehab
- drug rehabilitation rehabilitating teens teenager rehab habitual rehab
- Drug Rehab Program
- drugs
- drugs..tearing
- drugs/alcohol
- drugs and alcohol
- drugsanyone
- drug screenings
- drugsParental
- drug store
- drug trafficking
- Drug Treatment
- Drug Treatment Program
- drum
- drummer
- Drunk
- drunk.Problem
- drunk/high
- Drunken
- drunken college girls
- drunk teen girls
- dry cleaners
- drying
- dry mouth
- dryness menopausal
- dry scalp
- DS3 Line
- dsm iv tr
- due time
- DUI'S
- dui.
- DUI20+
- dumb
- dump
- dumped
- dumpped
- dumps
- durabolin
- duration
- During
- dust mites
- dust rag
- dvds
- dwelling
- DWI.
- DWI20+years
- DWIDUI
- DYFS
- Dying
- dynamic meditation
- dysfunctional
- Dystrophy
- E.R.
- each
- eagerness
- earliest times
- Early
- early marriage
- early warning system
- Earn
- earnings
- ears
- earth
- Earthbound
- earth conditions
- earth metal
- earth mother
- earthquake damage
- earthquakes
- easier
- easiest
- East
- east africa
- Eastern
- eastern culture
- Easy
- easy money
- easy prey
- easy way to lose weight
- easy way to quit smoking
- eat/drink
- eaters...
- eather
- eating
- Eating...on
- eating disorders
- eating habits
- eating healthy food
- eating tiger
- eats
- ebay
- e books
- ebrahim
- echoes
- economical pressure
- economic climate
- economic times
- economists
- economy
- ecstasy
- ecstasy...please
- ect..
- eczema
- Edgar
- edgar cayce
- EDIT
- edited
- Editing
- Edition
- editors
- educated
- education
- educational
- educational entity
- educational history
- educational institutions
- educational programs
- educational toy
- education centres
- education development corporation
- Edward
- edward bach
- edwin b fisher
- effect
- effecting
- Effective
- Effectiveness
- effective parenting
- effective solution
- effective team
- effective therapy
- effects
- effects of green tea
- effects of second hand smoke
- effects of smoking
- effects of stress
- effexor
- effortless lifestyle
- Egbe
- egg
- ego states
- egyptians
- eiffel tower
- Eight
- einstein
- elbow
- elbows
- elderly gentleman
- Election
- Electoral
- electric stove
- electromagnetic pulse
- electromagnetic therapy
- electromagnetic waves
- electronic books
- element
- element acupuncture
- elements
- eligible student
- Eliminate
- elisabeth kubler ross
- Elizabeth
- Ellen
- elliptical machines
- else
- ELUSIVE
- elusive topic
- Elvis
- e mail
- emancipate
- emancipated
- embarrassment
- embellishments
- EMBRYOS
- e mc2
- emergency
- emergency funds
- emergency planning
- emergency preparation
- emergency rooms
- emergency search
- emergency steps
- emerson
- Emerydreifuss
- EMIT
- Emmett's
- emotion
- Emotional
- emotional balance
- emotional brain
- emotional complexities
- emotional development
- emotional distress
- emotional equivalent
- emotional experiences
- emotional factors
- emotional feelings
- emotional health
- emotional highs
- emotional intelligence
- emotional intimacy
- emotionally
- emotional maturity
- emotional pain
- emotional person
- emotional roller coaster
- emotional skills
- emotional state
- emotional strain
- emotional stress
- emotional symptoms
- emotional wellbeing
- emotional wellness
- emotional wreck
- emotions
- empathy
- enabling
- Encounters
- encourage
- encouraging
- encouraging words
- end.
- endangered
- endangered pandas
- endangering
- endangerment.
- ended
- endless array
- endless string
- endometriosis
- endorphin
- endorphins
- Ends
- endurance
- Enemy
- energetic approach
- Energy
- energy boosting foods
- energy drain
- energy exchange
- energy expenditure
- energy levels
- energy signals
- energy vampires
- Enfamil
- enforced
- engaged.
- engagements
- england
- English
- english doctor
- enhancement
- enhancement workshop
- enjoyable experience
- enjoyable life
- enjoyable time
- enjoying life
- enlarged
- enlargement products
- enormous burden
- enormous problems
- enough
- enough money
- Enquirer
- Enroll
- enrolling
- Ensure
- enterpernurship
- entertained
- entertainment center
- entertainment purpose
- entire
- entire team
- entirety
- entities
- ENTREPRENEURSHIP
- environmental poisons
- environmental protection agency
- environments
- environment students
- Ephedrine
- Epics
- epidemic
- Episode
- Episode's
- episodefamily
- equality between men and women
- Equals
- equilibrium
- Equine
- equivalence
- erectile problems
- ergonomic chairs
- ergonomic office chair
- eric berne
- errors
- Escape
- escape routes
- esophageal reflux disease
- essay
- essence of life
- essential oils
- essential resources
- estanged
- estate
- estate litigation
- estrogen levels
- estrogen production
- estrogen receptors
- etc...
- Eternal
- Ethic
- ethical pressures
- ethics
- ethnic identity
- etiquette...Just
- etymology
- euphoria
- European/Russian
- Evaluate
- Evaluator
- EVASION
- eve
- even
- evening
- evenings
- evening wind
- event
- even teenagers
- event planner
- events
- Ever
- every
- everybody
- everyday
- everyday...do
- everyday circumstances
- everyday life
- everyday stress
- everyday studies
- Everyone
- everyones
- everyother
- Everything
- Everywhere
- evict
- Evicting
- evidence
- Evil
- evil eye
- evolutionary journey
- evolutionary perspective
- ex's
- ex..
- exact answer
- Exactly
- exact same thing
- exact timing
- exaggeration
- Examination
- exam stress
- exceed
- Excellent
- excepting
- excercise
- excess baggage
- excess body
- excessive
- excessive alcohol
- excess sebum
- excess weight
- excited
- excitement
- exciting place
- exconvict
- excursion
- excuse
- exdaughters
- exercise
- exercise 2
- exercise in futility
- exercise program
- exercises
- exercise therapy
- exfiance
- ex girlfriend
- exgirlfriend
- exhalation
- exhusband
- exhusband's
- exhusband/friend
- existence
- existing research
- Exists
- exiting
- expe
- expect
- expectation
- expected
- expecting
- expects
- expenses
- experience
- Experienced
- experience morning sickness
- experience pleasure
- experiences
- experience tension
- experiencinfo
- experimenting
- Experts
- explain
- Explained
- expletive
- exploit
- Explorer
- explosion
- Explosive
- explosive behavior
- exposure
- exposure therapy
- expression
- extensive research
- extent
- external functions
- external stimulus
- extra care
- extractions
- extra hour
- Extraordinary
- extravagant
- extreme
- extreme example
- extremely
- extreme sports
- extreme stress
- exw/whom
- exwife
- eyeball
- eyebrows
- eye contact
- eyelashes
- eyes
- eye surgery
- Ezra
- fable
- fabric
- fabulous hair
- facade
- face
- faces
- face soap
- facet
- facets
- facial expression
- facial flushing
- facilitator
- Facility
- FacilityFrom
- fact of the matter
- Factors
- Facts
- faculties
- Failed
- failing
- failing marriage
- failure
- faint
- Fair
- fair game
- fairhelp
- fairness
- fair share
- fairy story
- faiths
- fake
- fall
- fall from grace
- falling
- falling down the stairs
- falling in love
- falling victim
- fallout
- falls
- false
- false beliefs
- Falsehood
- false impression
- falsely
- familes
- familiar
- familiar surroundings
- families
- family
- Family's
- Family/Health
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- Keys
- k falls
- Khan
- kick
- kicked
- Kicking
- kick off your shoes
- kid...
- kidding
- kiddush luncheon
- Kidnapping
- kidney
- Kids
- kids and drug rehabilitation children and drug rehab teen drug rehab Adolescent Brain Development
- kids books
- kill
- Killed
- killers
- killied
- killing
- kills
- kilter
- kind
- Kinda
- kindergarten
- kind heart
- kindness
- kind of meditation
- kind of woman
- Kinds
- kinds of diseases
- kinds of viruses
- King
- kingpin
- king solomon
- kinoki
- kiss
- kisses
- kitten
- kitten....need
- kitty
- knee brace
- knee braces
- knee cap
- knees
- knee support
- knew
- knight in shining armor
- knight in shining armour
- KNOW
- Knowing
- Knowledge
- knowledge into action
- knowledge skills
- Known
- knows
- kobe bryant
- Koran
- kosher meals
- Kucinich
- Kundalini
- kundalini energy
- Kurt
- labor and delivery
- laboratory tests
- labs
- lab test
- labyrinths
- lack
- lack of appetite
- lack of communication
- lack of concentration
- lack of confidence
- lack of energy
- lack of exercise
- lack of interest
- lack of intimacy
- lack of knowledge
- lack of motivation
- lack of sleep
- lack of sleep causes
- lack of time
- lacks
- lactose intolerance
- ladder
- Ladies
- lads
- lady
- lady susan
- LaFamilia..........
- LaHabra
- Lake
- land
- landlord
- landlords
- landscapes
- langu
- language format
- language skills
- language speech
- language usage
- laptops
- large glass
- largest mental health care
- larry spence
- laser beam
- laser treatment
- lasi
- lasik eye surgery
- lasik procedure
- Last
- lasting love
- last moment
- last performance
- last question
- last rolo
- last several years
- last three decades
- last throes
- last time
- late
- late 1800s
- latent content
- Later
- latest
- la times
- Latin
- laugh
- laughs
- laughter
- laundry list
- Lawman
- lawnmower
- law of attraction
- law of success
- Laws
- laws of attraction
- laws of nature
- lawyer
- laxatives
- layoffs
- lazy.
- lead
- leaden paralysis
- leadership
- leadership series
- leadership training
- lead generation
- leading cause of death
- lean body mass
- lean muscles
- lean muscle tissue
- leanology
- leaps and bounds
- Learn
- learned behavior
- learned skill
- learning disability
- learning environment
- learning style
- learning styles
- lease
- least
- least three times
- Leave
- leavin
- leaving
- leaving home
- Lebanese
- ledger
- left
- left behind
- Legacy
- legal
- legal advocate
- legalize
- Legalized
- legally
- legal matters
- Legend'
- leg extension
- legislation
- legs
- legsmultiple
- lein
- Lemme
- Lemon
- lemonade
- lend
- length
- length of time
- Lengthy
- Lennon
- Leon
- lesbian
- Less
- Lesson
- Lessons
- lethargy
- lets
- Letter
- Letterman
- letting
- leukemia
- level
- level managers
- level of anxiety
- level of consciousness
- level of stress
- levels
- levels of consciousness
- levels of stress
- levitan
- liar
- Liberal
- liberals
- Liberation
- Liberties
- libido
- library article
- libretto
- libs
- lice
- licence
- license
- licensed daycare providers
- Lies
- Life
- life's
- life.What
- life/death
- life blood
- life circumstances
- life coach
- life goal
- life happiness
- life inspiration
- life is water
- lifeline
- lifelong commitment
- life money
- life of christ
- life on earth
- life path
- life purpose
- life relationships
- life rhythms
- life situation
- lifespan
- life span
- lifestyle
- lifestyle considerations
- lifestyle programs
- lifestyles
- life time
- lifetime
- lifetime opportunity
- life vision
- life with ease
- lift a finger
- light
- light bulb
- Lightly
- lightning strike
- light sensitivity
- light weights
- like
- likelihood
- LIKELY
- likeness
- likes
- likey
- limbic system
- lime juice
- limelight
- limit
- Limited
- limits
- Limo
- Limousine
- lindsay lohans
- Lindsey
- line
- lines
- lingerie
- linguistic programming
- linked
- linking
- lion
- lions
- lips
- liquid
- lisa
- lisence
- List
- listen
- listeners
- listening skills
- Litem
- liter
- literacy
- LITERALLY
- literary critics
- liters of water
- little
- little big man
- little bird
- little bit
- little girl
- little honey
- little inspiration
- little known secret
- little ones
- little space
- little taste
- little time
- little understanding
- live
- live.She
- live as one
- lived
- livelihood
- liver
- liver cells
- liver damage
- liver disease
- liver diseases
- lives
- livi
- living
- living my life
- living with grief
- living your dream
- LMAO
- loads
- loans
- loc
- local
- local anaesthesia
- local community
- localization
- local newspapers
- location change
- lock
- locked
- locks
- logic
- logical levels
- logical reason
- Lohan
- Lol.
- london
- LONE
- lonely hours
- long
- long distance
- long distance relationship
- long don
- longest day
- longie
- longing
- long lasting relationships
- long periods
- long periods of time
- long stemmed flower
- longterm
- long term goal
- long term health
- long term memory
- long term memory storage
- long time
- look
- Looking
- looking for a job
- lookout
- looks
- looovee
- loose
- loose as a goose
- loose gravel
- loose lips sink ships
- loosing
- Lord
- Lorenzo
- lori
- Lortab
- lose
- loser
- loses
- losing
- losing 10 pounds
- losing a loved one
- losing control
- losing weight
- loss
- losses
- loss of a loved one
- loss of appetite
- loss of interest
- loss of libido
- loss of sex drive
- lost
- lotions
- lot of water
- Lots
- Louisiana
- louisiana superdome
- lounges
- lousy idea
- Lout
- love
- love and respect
- Loved
- love letter
- love letters
- love life
- loveliness
- love of a lifetime
- love quote
- loves
- Loving
- loving action
- loving mother
- low back pain
- low birth weights
- low calorie
- lowcost
- low energy
- lower
- Lowering
- low fat cheese
- low impact
- low interest student loans
- low libido women
- low self esteem
- loyal
- lubricant
- lubrication
- Lucky
- lucky day
- lumps
- lunc
- lunch
- lung
- lung capacity
- lungs
- lust
- Luther
- luvox
- luxuries
- Luxury
- Lybrel
- lying
- lying on the ground
- Lynn
- lyrics
- M.A.D.D.
- machine
- maddahi
- made
- madison square garden
- Maffin
- Maffin.co.uk
- magazines
- magic
- magical power
- magical rituals
- magician
- magic pill
- magic wand
- magistrate
- magnetic attraction
- magnetic stimulation
- magnetic waves
- magnetism
- magnificent food
- Mahabharata
- maimed
- Maine
- main goal
- mainly
- maintaining a relationship
- Major
- major depression
- makeing
- Makes
- makeup
- making
- making an oral presentation
- making decisions
- malaise
- male
- male bonding
- male energy
- male population
- males and females
- male sexual dysfunction
- male species
- malfeasances
- malignant
- malignant cancer
- malignant tumour
- Mall
- mama
- Man's
- Manage
- Management
- management games
- management issues
- management terminology
- man and a woman
- man and woman
- Manasquan
- manassis
- man boobs
- man breasts
- mandatory
- Mania
- Manic
- manic depression
- manic depressive
- Manifesting
- man in your life
- manipulated
- mankind
- manner..
- man on a mission
- mantras
- Manual
- man woman
- many
- many different reasons
- many different types
- many men
- many thanks
- many things
- map
- Marfan
- Mariana
- marijuana
- marital problems
- Mark
- market food
- marketing products
- marketing sales
- marketing strategies
- marks
- mark twain
- marplan
- marriage
- marriage.How
- marriage advice
- marriage counseling
- marriage counsellor
- marriage counselors
- marriage couples
- marriage in trouble
- marriage proposal
- married
- married couple
- married life
- marry
- Marrying
- mart
- martha beck
- martial arts
- Martin
- martin luther king
- Mary
- Maryland
- mary mary
- mary morrissey
- masculine side
- mask
- maskers
- masonic
- Massachusetts
- massachusetts general hospital
- massage chairs
- massaging chairs
- massive income
- massive pain
- massive support
- massive weapon
- master 3
- masters in business
- masters in business administration
- Masturbating
- masturbation.
- match
- matching services
- mate
- material things
- materia medica
- Maternal
- mates
- math
- Matriarchs
- matter
- matter of fact
- matter of minutes
- mattresses
- Mature
- maturity
- maxim
- maximum security prison
- mayans
- maybe
- McCain
- McCain/Palin
- mccoy
- mcgill university
- McHenry
- me.....
- meal
- meals
- mean
- meaningful relationship
- meaning of success
- meaning of suffering
- Means
- mean time
- measure of success
- measure of time
- measures
- meat
- Mechanical
- mechanically
- mechanization
- media
- media books
- media television
- mediator
- medical
- medical adviser
- medical ailments
- medical center
- medical challenge
- medical checkups
- medical community
- medical concept
- medical concerns
- medical detoxification
- medical emergency
- medical equipment
- medical examination
- medical expert
- medical field
- medical help
- medical illness
- medical intervention
- medical model
- medical press
- medical problem
- medical procedure
- medical professionals
- medical science
- medical supervision
- medical supplies
- medical term
- medical treatment
- medication
- medications
- medicine
- medicines
- medicine wheels
- medieval days
- mediocrity
- meditation
- meditation area
- meditation course
- meditation courses
- meditation experience
- meditation one
- meditation practice
- meditation retreats
- meditations
- meditation sessions
- meditation technique
- meditation techniques
- meditation work
- meditative state
- meditative technique
- mediums
- meds
- meet
- Meeting
- meetings
- melinda
- member
- member/daughter
- members'
- membranous labyrinth
- memorabilia
- memorable
- memorable event
- memorable gift
- memories
- memory
- memory aids
- memory bank
- memory brain
- memory enhancement
- memory foam mattress
- memory foam mattresses
- memory memory
- memory power
- memory retention
- memory skills
- Menaces
- men and women
- menopause
- menopause symptoms
- Menstrual
- menstrual cramps
- menstruation cycle
- ment
- Mental
- mental ability
- mental alertness
- mental and emotional health
- mental connections
- mental discipline
- mental disorder
- mental disorders
- mental focus
- mental health care
- mental health challenges
- mental health disorder
- mental health foundation
- mental image
- mental kick
- mentally
- mental model
- mental peace
- mental picture
- mental tension
- mention
- meOnly
- Mercury
- merits
- MerryGoRound
- mesothelium
- mess
- Message
- message in a bottle
- Messages
- messengers
- messy diapers
- metabolic rate
- metabolism
- metabolite.
- Metaphysical
- metaphysical powers
- meth
- Meth.....needing
- meth/alcoholic
- methadone
- methampetamine.
- methamphetamine
- methamphetamines
- methamphetaminetrying
- Methods
- methods of persuasion
- methods to quit smoking
- methpcpetc.
- metropolitan cities
- Mexican
- Mexico
- Mexico's
- me”
- MIA's
- Miami
- Michael
- michael dell
- michael gorbachev
- michael keaton
- michael phelps
- Michael’S
- michelangelo
- Michelle
- michelle andrews
- Michigan
- microfiber
- middle
- middle age
- MIDDX
- midlife
- mid life crisis
- midline
- midst
- midsummer solstice
- midwife
- midwifery model
- might
- Mighty
- migraine
- migraine headache
- migraine headaches
- migraines
- migraines headaches
- migrane
- Mike.
- mild anxiety
- mild problems
- mild sedative
- mild symptoms
- miles
- milestone
- milestones
- Military
- military personnel
- milk
- milk...advice
- milk...baby
- Millais'
- milligrams
- million pieces
- millions
- million times
- million viewers
- mimicking
- mind
- mind and body
- mind article
- mind body and soul
- mind body spirit
- mind functions
- mindset
- mindset change
- mindsets
- mine
- mineral content
- mineral water
- minimize
- minimum time
- Minneapolis
- Minnesota
- minor
- minor character
- minors
- minute meditation
- minute presentation
- miracle
- Misbegotten
- misbehavior
- miscommunication
- misconception
- Misd.
- misdemeanor
- miserable
- miseries
- misery
- misgiving
- mishaps
- misinformation
- misinformed
- misinterpretation
- mismatch
- misnomer
- miss
- misses
- missing
- Missouri
- Mist
- mistake
- Mistakes
- mistreated
- MISTRESS
- misunderstandings
- mites
- Mixed
- mixture
- ml
- mnemonics
- mobile phone
- Modalities
- model
- model behavior
- models
- moderate climates
- moderate depression
- moderate exercise
- Modern
- modern china
- modern man
- modern science
- modern technology
- Modesto
- Mohawk
- moist environment
- molars
- mold
- molestation
- molested
- molesting
- molests
- mom
- mom.....age
- moma
- mom dad
- Moment
- moment in time
- moment to moment
- momentum
- momma
- moms
- mon.
- monastery
- Monday
- money
- money loss
- money spirituality
- money work
- money working from home
- monk
- monoamine oxidase inhibitors
- monologue
- monster
- montel
- month
- months
- months...and
- montreal quebec
- mood
- mood change
- moods
- mood swings
- moon
- Moon/Pluto
- moonstone
- mops
- moral
- moral environment
- morality
- morally
- moral of the story
- moral reason
- morals
- morbid
- morbidly
- more
- morning
- morning exercise
- morning ritual
- morning rush
- morning sickness cures
- morphine
- Morrow
- mortgage provider
- mortgage repayment
- moses
- moses basket
- moses baskets
- moshiach
- mosquito
- mosquito bite
- moss
- most
- mostly
- Mother
- MotherDaughter
- mother father
- Motherhood
- motherinlaw
- motherinlaws
- Mothermy
- mother nature
- Mothers
- motions
- Motivate
- motivation
- motivational books
- motivational factors
- motivational seminar
- motivational speech
- motivation books
- motivation motivation
- motivation quotes
- motivation research
- motivations
- motivation software
- motivation workshops
- motivator
- motives
- Motorcycle
- Motorist
- motor vehicle accidents
- Mountain
- mountain lions
- mountains
- mount st helens
- mouthful
- mouthpiece
- move
- moved
- movie
- movie/tv
- movieA
- Movies
- moviesHelp
- movie the secret
- moving
- moving car
- MPLS
- mr darcy
- mr mom
- Msra
- ms simpson
- Mu'awiyah...
- mucas....
- much
- mudshark
- mugshot
- Multi-Systemic Therapy MultiSystemicTherapy MultiSystemic drug Therapy
- multi player games
- multiple
- multitude
- mulund
- mum's
- mumbai
- mummy's
- mums and dads
- mundane activities
- murder
- Murdered
- murderer
- murders
- muscle building
- muscle cramping
- muscle enhancement
- muscle mass
- muscle pains
- muscle relaxation
- muscles
- muscles of the trunk
- muscle tension
- muscle tissue
- muscle weakness
- muscle work
- Muscular
- music
- Musical
- musical genius
- music therapy
- MUSIC”
- muslim
- muslim brothers
- MUST
- mutilate
- mutilation
- mutiple
- my.......
- myriad
- myself
- Myspace
- myspace graphics
- mysteries
- mysterious condition
- mysterious woman
- mystery
- myth
- myth number
- Mythology
- MYTHOS
- Nabokov’s
- nails
- naked eye
- naltrexone
- name
- named
- names
- nancy kline
- nanny jobs
- Nanograms
- nappy
- narcissist
- narcolepsy
- Narconon
- narcotic
- nardil
- narrator
- nasa
- nasal
- nasal dilators
- nasal strips
- nasty business
- nasty habit
- nasty piece of work
- nasty side effects
- Natalie
- National
- national health service
- national institute of mental health
- national spelling bee
- Nationwide
- natrum
- natural
- natural anti depressant
- natural behaviors
- natural breast enhancement
- natural cures for insomnia
- natural disaster
- natural disasters
- natural endorphins
- natural headache remedies
- natural healing
- natural inclination
- natural ingredients
- natural lubrication
- natural pain killers
- natural position
- natural progression
- natural remedies
- natural remedies for depression
- natural remedy
- natural remedy for depression
- natural skin care
- natural talents
- natural teeth
- natural tendency
- Nature
- nature lovers
- nature reserve
- nausea
- nausea and fatigue
- nauseous
- NDUBZ
- nearby areas
- nearby park
- nearby woods
- nearly
- nebu
- necessary
- necessary actions
- necessary adjustments
- necessary amenities
- necessary pain
- necessary skills
- necessary steps
- necessities
- neck pain
- neck shoulders
- Need
- needed.
- needle.
- needle in the haystack
- needs
- Negative
- negative aspects
- negative attention
- negative attitude
- negative comments
- negative emotion
- negative emotions
- negative environment
- negative feelings
- negative impact
- negative influence
- negative moods
- negatives
- negative stress
- negative thinking
- negative thoughts
- negativities
- neglect
- neglects
- neice
- neiceinlaw
- neigbor/farm
- neighbor
- neighborhood
- neighborhoods
- neighbors
- neighbourhood
- neighbours
- neither
- neonazi
- Neoprohibitionist
- Nephilim
- nerve cells
- nerves
- Nervosa
- nervous system
- nervous system activity
- networking tools
- neurons
- neuroscientist
- neurotransmitters
- neurotransmitter serotonin
- neurotransmitters in the brain
- neutral
- Nevada
- nevada desert
- never
- new age
- new baby
- Newborn
- newborns
- new business
- new car
- new challenge
- new dimension
- new energy
- newfound freedom
- new friends
- new goals
- new job
- new kid
- new lease
- new lover
- newly
- new materials
- new parents
- new pathways
- new perspectives
- new processes
- new reality
- news
- new situation
- newsweek
- new territory
- Next
- next level
- nice
- nice thoughts
- Nicole
- nicole's
- nicotine
- nicotine content
- nicotine delivery
- nicotine gum
- nicotine levels
- nicotine patch
- nicotine patches
- nicotine replacement
- nicotine replacement therapy
- nicotine withdrawal
- niece
- nieces and nephews
- nigeria
- Nigerian
- night
- nightclubs
- nightm
- nightmare
- nightmares
- night pizza
- night sweats
- nighttime
- night without sleep
- night’s
- Nine
- nine ways
- Ninkasi
- no doubt
- noesis
- noinsuranceWhere
- noise
- noisy
- nominee
- nonalcoholic
- nonemployee
- Nonono
- Nonprescription
- nonsense
- nonsense guide
- non verbal communication
- noodles
- noodle shop
- noone
- noravirus
- norepinephrine
- norm
- normal
- North
- Northern
- north west england
- nose
- noses
- nostrils
- note
- note book
- Nothing
- notion
- nourishing food
- nourishment
- novel
- novelhelp
- novelist
- November...
- novices
- now.
- now.....HELP
- now...feeling
- nuclear weapons
- nudity
- Number
- NUMBERS
- nurse
- nurses
- nursing
- nursing course
- nursing graduates
- nursing programs
- nursing school
- nursing students
- nutrient deficiencies
- nutrients
- nutrition
- nutritional imbalances
- nutritionists
- nuts
- nylons
- nymphomaniac
- O'Reilly
- Oakland
- Oakwood
- Oaxaca
- obama
- Obamas
- obe
- obedience
- obedience school
- obese
- obesity
- obey
- obeying the law
- objective
- objectivity
- obligated
- obscure reason
- observation
- obsessed
- OBSESSES
- obsessions
- Obsessive
- obsessive compulsive disorder
- obstacle
- obstacles
- obstetrics
- Obtain
- obvious
- occasional
- occurrence
- occurrences
- ocd
- October
- ocular rosacea
- OD'd
- odd person
- odds
- ODed
- offence
- offences
- offender
- offenders
- offense
- Offenses
- Offensive
- offer
- offered
- office chair
- office desk
- office furniture
- office organizers
- officer
- officers
- office worker
- official
- offing
- offspring
- often
- Ohio
- oily skin
- okay
- okay..i
- Oklahoma
- ol...
- olbas
- Old....
- old adage
- old boyfriend
- old clothes
- old emotions
- Older
- older adults
- oldest
- old feelings
- old friend
- old friends
- olds
- Olfa
- Olives
- olympic athletes
- olympic games
- olympics
- on..
- Once
- one...
- one...PLEASE
- one day at a time
- one fifth
- one in a million
- onenightstand
- one of my favorites
- oneplz..star
- ones
- Online
- online books
- online databases
- online dating service
- online dating sites
- online resource
- online resources
- only
- Ontario
- open
- open communication
- opened
- open ended questions
- open spaces
- opiate
- opiates
- opinion
- opinions
- opionions/advice
- OPlex
- oppinion
- opportune time
- opposite
- oprah
- oprah show
- optimistic approach
- optimistic outlook
- Option
- options
- oral health
- oral infection
- oral surgeon
- oral tissues
- orange
- oratorio
- order
- ordered
- orders...
- ordinary man
- oregano
- Oregon.
- Organic
- organic skin care
- organization programs
- organization strategies
- organization strategy
- organizing your life
- organizing your workspace
- organs
- organs of the body
- orgasmic moment
- orgasm problems
- orgies
- origami flower
- Origanum
- original
- ORPHAN
- Orphans
- Orthopedists
- osas
- Osbourne
- Others
- other sports
- otherwise
- Otto
- ouch
- ounces
- out.
- out.what
- outburst
- Outcome
- Outcomes
- outer shell
- outlaw
- outlawed
- out of sight
- out of the blue
- outpatient
- outrage
- outrages
- outside
- Ovarian
- over
- overcaring
- Overcome
- Overcoming
- Overdiagnosis
- Overdose
- overeating
- overhead compartment
- overinvolved
- overnight
- OverPrescribing
- overreacting
- oversleeping
- overtime
- overweight
- overweight and obesity
- overwhelming feelings
- OVERzealous
- ovulation
- own business
- own energy
- owner
- own eyes
- own health
- own time
- own two feet
- oxycodone
- oxycontin
- oxycotin
- oxygen
- oxygen intake
- oxygen level
- oxygen levels
- Ozzy
- pace
- paced lifestyle
- paci
- pacifier
- pacifiers
- pack
- pac model
- pagans
- paid
- Pain
- Painful
- painful breakup
- painful emotions
- painful erections
- painful experience
- painful relationship
- pain in the neck
- painkillers
- pain medicine
- pain receptors
- pain relief
- paint ball
- paintball club
- paintball event
- paintball field
- paintball fields
- paintball game
- paintball games
- paintball players
- paintings
- palecould
- Palin
- Palin's
- Palo
- palpitations
- Pampered
- panda
- pandas
- Panic
- panic and anxiety
- panic attack
- panic attacks
- panic attack sufferers
- panic attack symptoms
- panic disorder
- panic disorder treatment
- panic symptoms
- pant
- panties
- pantomime
- paper
- paperbacks
- paper bags
- papers
- papulopustular rosacea
- Parachute”
- paradox of life
- paragraph
- paragraphs
- paramedic
- parameters
- paranoia
- paranoid
- paraphrase
- PARAPSYCHOLOGY
- parched
- pardoned
- parent
- parent......He
- Parental
- parental instincts
- parental stress
- parent effectiveness training
- parenthood
- parenting
- parenting books
- parenting education
- parenting experts
- parenting forums
- parenting parents
- parenting resources
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- parents
- parents and teachers
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- parents television council
- Parentswith
- Paris
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- parking lot
- parking lots
- Parkinson's
- Parkway
- parnate
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- paroxetine
- Part
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- particularily
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- part of the brain
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- part time job
- Party
- party celebration
- partying
- Paso
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- passage of time
- passed
- passenger
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- passion and purpose
- passive approach
- passport
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- past
- pasta
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- pasts
- patch
- patches
- patented
- paternity
- Path
- pathological
- pathways
- patience
- patient
- Patriot
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- pattern
- patterns
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- Paul
- pawn
- paxil
- payed
- paying
- paying attention
- pays
- pc's
- peace
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- peaceful contemplation
- peacefulness
- peaceful night
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- peak experience
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- peak expiratory flow rate
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- pearls before swine
- Pedialyte
- pediatrician
- pedophile
- peeing
- pee pee
- pee pees
- pee poop
- Peer
- peers
- pefr
- Pelosi
- Pemartin
- penalty
- pencil holder
- Penis
- Pennsylvania
- pennsylvania dutch
- penpal
- peop
- people
- people's
- pepsi
- percent
- perception
- perception of life
- perception of reality
- perceptions
- percocet
- Perfect
- perfect circle
- perfect fit
- perfect gifts
- perfectionist
- perfect moment
- perfect partner
- perfect person
- perfect sense
- perform
- performance goals
- perfume
- perils
- perimenopause symptoms
- period
- period of time
- periods
- Permanent
- permanently
- permanent solution
- permenant
- permission
- perpetual state
- persistence
- persistent
- persistent fatigue
- persistent fear
- persistent thoughts
- PERSON
- Personal
- personal attack
- personal authenticity
- personal development
- personal development goals
- personal documents
- personal enemies
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- personal fear
- personal finance
- personal financial budget
- personal goals
- personal goal setting
- personal growth
- personal happiness
- personal identity
- personal improvement
- personal instruction
- personal issue
- personality
- personality disorder
- personal life
- personal pain
- personal ramblings
- personal relationships
- personal responsibility
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- personal space
- personal stuff
- personal trainer
- personal value system
- person drive
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- persons life
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- person talks
- person to person
- perspective
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- persuasion tactics
- persuasion techniques
- pertinent question
- pervert
- pest control services
- pesticides
- pests
- Peter
- pete seeger
- petioning
- petroleum jelly
- pets
- petty
- pharma
- pharmaceutical companies
- pharmaceutical drugs
- pharmacy
- phase
- Phelps
- phenomenon
- philippe petit
- philippine flowers
- Philippines
- philly..should
- philosophy
- phobia
- phobias
- phobias and fears
- phobic reactions
- phoenix
- phone
- phone bills
- phone call
- phone number
- phone numbers
- photo album
- phrase
- phrases
- Physical
- physical ability
- physical activity
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- physical complaints
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- physical illness
- Physically
- physical nature
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- physical reason
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- physical requirement
- physical sensations
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- physical signs
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- physical trauma
- physical withdrawal symptoms
- physicians
- physics
- physics experiments
- physics help
- physiological reaction
- Pick
- picking
- picking up the pieces
- pick of the litter
- pickup lines
- picky
- picnic mat
- Picoult
- pics
- picture
- Pictures
- piece
- piece of advice
- piece of furniture
- piece of paper
- piece of the puzzle
- pieces of the puzzle
- pie in the sky
- piercings
- pigeonholes
- Pill
- pills
- pills.relapsecould
- pilot
- pimple
- pimples
- pinchas
- pineal gland
- pininfarina
- pink
- pinkie
- pink slip
- pitfalls
- pizza
- place
- place and time
- placebo
- place of peace
- places
- Plagiarizing
- plague
- plain
- Plan
- planet share
- planning and budgeting
- planning office
- planning team
- plan of attack
- plans
- Plant
- plants
- Plastic
- plasticity
- plastic surgeon
- platelets
- platform
- plato
- play
- playing
- playing basketball
- playing the game
- playing the harp
- playpen
- playpens
- play pens
- Plays
- play yards
- plea
- pleaded
- please
- PLEASEEE
- pleaseeee
- PLEASEEEEE
- PleaseFill
- pleaseure
- pleasure
- pleasure principle
- plenty of room
- plenty of time
- pleural plaques
- plop
- Plot
- plowshares
- plumbing
- Plus
- plz.
- pockets
- poem
- poems
- poet
- poetry
- Point
- pointing the finger
- point in time
- point move
- point of reference
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- points.
- poison
- poisonous chemicals
- polar
- police
- policy
- politely
- Political
- politicians
- Politics
- poll
- pollen
- polling
- POLLPOLLPOLL
- pollutants
- polydrug
- polygamist
- polyphenols
- polyps in the bowel
- Ponder
- poop
- poops
- Poor
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- poor relationship
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- pope
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- popularity
- population
- porcelain fillings
- porch
- pores
- porn
- portable nebulizer
- portable nebulizers
- port folio
- portray
- portrays
- positions
- positive
- positive attitude
- positive changes
- positive energy
- Positively
- positive thinking
- positive thoughts
- possability
- possession
- possessions
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- possible
- possibly
- post
- postal clerk
- postcard
- postcode
- posted
- poster
- post office
- Postpartum
- PostPregnancy
- post traumatic stress
- post traumatic stress disorder
- post traumatic stress disorders
- posture
- pot
- pot.k
- potasium
- potential power
- potent tool
- potting
- Potty
- potty chairs
- potty training toddlers
- Pound
- pounding heart
- pound seats
- poverty and misery
- powdered juices
- power cords
- power failure
- Powerful
- power groups
- power of magic
- power of suggestion
- Powers
- power source
- pra
- practically
- practice breathing
- practice detachment
- Pradesh
- prams
- prana
- prank
- pray
- prayer
- precious gift
- precise answer
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- preconceived ideas
- precursor
- predator
- predestination
- predicament
- preemie
- prefect
- preference language
- pregnancy
- pregnancy and delivery
- pregnant
- pregnant..need
- pregnantand
- pregnant woman
- Pregnat
- prejudice
- preliminary
- Premarin
- pre marital counseling
- premarital counseling
- preparation time
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- Prepared
- preparedness
- Preschooler
- prescribes
- prescription
- prescription drug
- prescription drug costs
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- presentable
- present day
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- president
- presidential
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- Presley
- press
- pressed
- Pressing
- Pressure
- pressure points
- pressuring
- preteen drug use adolescent drug abusers drugs and teenagers why do kids use drugs?
- pre teens
- pretty
- prevail
- prevalent
- prevent
- Preventing
- prevention
- preventive measures
- previous
- previous records
- previous years
- prey
- pride
- pride and prejudice
- pride place
- Primary
- prime example
- primes
- priming
- primitive drives
- primitive emotions
- Princess
- principal
- principal organ
- principals office
- principle
- principles of anatomy and physiology
- prior
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- Prioritizing
- priority
- priority goal
- Prison
- prison history
- prison sentence
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- prk
- probation
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- problem
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- problem habits
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- problemsi
- Procedures
- proceed
- process
- processing power
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- produce
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- professional exterminator
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- profile name
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- profound effect
- profound knowledge
- profound quotes
- profusion
- progesterone
- progesterone levels
- Program
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- prohibit
- project
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- prolonged fever
- Prom
- Promiscuity
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- promises
- promises..I
- Promote
- proof
- Prop
- propaganda
- propane stove
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- proper time
- property
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- proportion
- proposal
- proposal idea
- proposals
- propose
- Proposition
- pros and cons
- Prose
- prosecute
- prosecuting.
- prosecutor
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- prostitude
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- prostituting
- Prostitution
- protect
- protected
- Protecting
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- protective barrier
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- protein
- protein foods
- protest
- Proud
- proud owner
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- proved
- Provera
- proverbial needle
- provide
- provider network
- Providing
- prozac
- pseudonym
- psyche
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- psyches
- Psychiatric
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- psychiatry
- psycho
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- psychological
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- psychologist
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- psychology
- psychology related articles
- Psychopathology
- psychostimulant drugs
- psychotherapists
- psychotherapy
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- pts.
- puberty
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- Public
- public colleges
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- publish
- puddles
- pull
- pulled
- puller
- pulling
- pullups
- pump
- pumping
- pumping...help
- pun
- punch
- punch....any
- punched
- punctuality
- punish
- punishable
- punished
- Punishment
- punishments
- pupils
- Purble
- purchased
- purchasing
- purchasing managers index
- pure lavender oil
- purge
- Purpose
- purpose driven life
- purpose of life
- purse
- pursue
- push
- pushing
- pussy
- puts
- putting
- putting on weight
- puzzles
- qualified
- qualify
- Quality
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- Quanell
- quantities
- Quantum
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- quarrel
- quarters
- queen
- queen bee
- queen of england
- Queens
- Quest
- question
- question..a
- Questions
- Questions...Please
- Quick
- quiet apartment
- quiet evening
- quiet place
- quiet spaces
- quit
- quite
- quite some time
- quitting alcohol
- quitting cigarettes
- quitting smoking
- Quran
- rabbi
- rabbi kaplan
- rabbi shmuley
- racing heart
- radial keratotomy
- radiations
- radiation treatment
- radio
- rage
- raincoats
- raise
- raised
- raising
- raked
- Ramadan
- Ramayana
- ramifications
- randomly
- rant
- ranting
- rape
- raped
- rapid
- rapid advancements
- rapid breathing
- rapid development
- rapid heart
- rapid heartbeat
- rare occurrence
- rash
- rashes
- Rate
- rather
- ratherr
- rational basis
- rationale
- rationality
- rat poison
- rats
- Ratw
- rave
- raves
- raw data
- raw fruits
- raw vegetables
- reaching back
- reaching orgasm
- react
- reaction
- READ
- reading
- reading books
- reading disability
- reading games
- reading level
- reading skill
- reading skills
- reading speed
- ready
- ready aim
- ready for marriage
- Real
- real deal
- realestate
- real estate
- realistic
- realistic goals
- realistic world
- realities
- Reality
- realization
- realize
- realized
- real joy
- really
- real people
- real reason
- realtor
- real world
- rear wheel
- reason
- reason 2
- reason 3
- reasonable
- reasons
- reassurance
- Rebel
- rebellion
- rebellious
- rebound relationship
- rebound relationships
- rebuild
- rec centre
- receive
- received
- Receives
- recent
- recently
- recent natural disasters
- receptor agonist
- recession
- recipe
- recipes
- reck
- recognition system
- recognition systems
- recollection
- recommend
- reconcile
- reconciliation
- Reconquista
- record
- recorded
- recording
- recourse
- recover
- Recovered
- Recovering
- Recovery
- recovery periods
- recreational drug use
- recruiter
- rectal
- red blood cells
- red bumps
- red cross
- reddish brown
- redemption
- red flags
- Reduce
- Reducing
- reducing stress
- reference
- referral question
- reflection
- Reformed
- Reforms
- refractive errors
- refuse
- refused
- refuses
- refusing
- regain
- regard
- regarding
- regards
- regime
- regions of the brain
- regular
- regularity
- regularly
- regular payment
- regulatory board
- Rehab
- Rehabilitation
- rehabilitation center
- rehabilitation centre
- rehabilitation centres
- rehabilitation procedures
- Rehab Program
- rehabs.
- reimbursements
- reinact
- reinacting
- reincarnation
- reinforcement
- reins
- Reinstituting
- rejection
- Rekindle
- relapse
- relapsing
- relate
- related
- related products
- RELATION
- relationship
- relationship...I
- relationship advice
- relationship breakups
- relationship contract
- relationship counseling
- relationship expert
- relationship help
- relationship issues
- relationship relationships
- relationships
- relationshipw/him.
- relative
- relatives
- relax
- relaxation
- relaxation exercise
- relaxation meditation
- relaxation method
- relaxation technique
- relaxation techniques
- relaxation tips
- relaxing music
- Release
- released
- release endorphins
- Relief
- relief anxiety
- Relieving
- relieving stress
- religions
- religious
- religious boundaries
- religious groups
- religious leader
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- religious sects
- religious text
- reltionships
- Reluctant
- remain
- remaining time
- remarried
- Remedies
- remedies for sunburn
- remedy
- remedy for sunburn
- remember
- Remembering
- reminder
- reminders
- remodeling project
- remove
- removed
- Renamed
- renown
- rent
- Rep.
- repair
- repeat
- repented
- repetition compulsion
- repetitions
- replacements
- replacing
- replication
- report
- reported
- reporting
- reports
- reprehensible
- repressed memories
- reprimands
- Reprogramming
- republican
- republicans
- reputable company
- reputation
- request&
- required
- rescue
- researches
- research estimates
- research group
- research methods
- resentment
- Resident
- Residential
- residential options
- resilience
- resistance
- resolve
- Resort
- resorting
- Resource
- Resources
- respect
- respectable neighborhood
- respectful
- Respiratory
- Respond
- response control
- responses
- responsibility
- responsible
- rest
- restaurant
- restaurants
- restful nights
- restful sleep
- resting heart rate
- restitution's
- restlessness
- restless sleep
- rest of our lives
- rest of the world
- rest of your life
- restore
- restrain...
- restraining
- restraining order
- restricted
- result
- Results
- retail sales
- retail store
- retain
- retina
- retired
- retirement
- retirement money
- Retrospective
- return
- reunification
- reunify
- reut
- Rev.
- Reveal
- Reveals
- revenge
- Reverse
- revia
- Review
- Reviews
- REVISE
- revival
- revocered
- Revoked
- revolution in china
- rewriting
- Rewrote
- Reyes
- rhythms
- rhythms of the universe
- Ribbon
- Richie
- richness
- riddles
- ride
- Rides
- ridiculous
- Riding
- ridlin.
- Right
- right choice
- right direction
- righteousness
- right knowledge
- right moment
- right money
- right position
- Rights
- rightsplease
- right time
- Rinking
- Rise
- risk
- riske
- Risks
- risky behavior
- Ritalin
- Rite
- rite of passage
- ritilin
- ritual magic
- River
- rk
- road
- roadblock
- roadblocks
- road map
- road rage
- Roblem
- robots
- robyn
- rock
- rocket scientist
- rocking chairs
- rocky time
- role
- Roles
- rolled
- roller coaster ride
- Rolling
- rolling stone magazine
- romance
- Romantic
- romantic atmosphere
- romantic gift
- romantic guide
- romantic relationship
- romp
- roof tiles
- room
- roommates
- rooms
- ROOSTER2619
- root cause
- root tip
- root tips
- rope
- rosacea treatment
- rose bouquet
- Rosesesq
- rosicrucian order
- rough
- rough spot
- rough times
- Roulette
- routine day
- routine life
- routinly
- Rove
- roxies
- roxys
- royalty
- roy orbison
- rubbing
- rubbish
- rude
- rudimentary
- ruined
- ruining
- ruled
- rules
- rumor
- RUMORS
- run...
- runaway
- runners
- Running
- runs
- ruptures
- rush
- rushed
- Russian
- Russia”
- S.O.S
- saboxen.
- SABS
- sacks
- sacral chakra
- Sacramento
- Sacred
- sacred circle
- sacred manner
- sacrifice
- sad....
- sad ending
- sad fact
- sadness
- sad seasonal affective disorder
- safe
- safe family
- safe interviewing tips
- safely
- safe place
- safer side
- safe side
- Safety
- sag
- saga.
- said
- sailing boat
- sailors
- sails
- sake
- salamo arouch
- sale
- Sales
- salesmen
- saline breast implants
- saline implant
- saline implants
- saline solution
- saliva
- Salman
- salsa
- Salt
- samantha ronson
- same
- same time period
- sample
- sandalwood oil
- Sands
- sanity
- Santander
- santos's
- sap
- Sara
- Sarah
- sarcasm
- sarsaparilla
- satisfaction
- satisfactory
- sats
- Saturday
- saturday mornings
- sauna
- sausage
- Sausages
- savage beast
- savannah
- Save
- saved
- Savings
- saving your marriage
- Savitri
- saying
- saying things
- says
- scabies mite
- scabies pictures
- scabies rash
- SCALE
- scales
- Scalp
- scalpel
- scams
- scandal
- Scandal...Should
- scanning technology
- scar
- scarcity
- scare
- Scarecrow.
- scared
- scarier
- Scarred
- scars
- Scary
- scary prospect
- scene
- scenery
- Scheduled
- schemata
- schizo
- schizophrenia
- schizophrenic
- scholarship money
- scholarships
- scholarships grants
- school
- school...what
- school aged children
- school chess
- Schooler
- schoolgirl
- school guidance counselor
- school job
- school of thought
- school police
- Schools
- schools of thought
- school staff
- schwinn jogging stroller
- science
- Sciences
- scientific theory
- scientist
- scissors
- Sclerosis
- Scoliosis
- Scone
- score
- Scott
- scrapbook
- scratching
- screaming
- screen
- screen idol
- screens
- screen tv
- screws
- scripps national spelling bee
- script
- scripts
- scriptures
- scrub
- scrub oak
- Scrubs
- seabuckthorn oil
- Search
- searched
- search engine
- searching
- sears
- Season
- seasonal affective disorder
- season debut
- season of passion
- Seasons
- seat
- sebaceous gland
- Second
- Secondhand
- second hand smoke
- second thought
- secret
- secret 1
- secret ingredient
- Secrets
- secret scroll
- secret weapon
- section
- Sector
- SECTORNEED
- securi
- Security
- sedentary life
- sedentary lifestyle
- seduction
- seeing
- seeing things
- seek
- seeking
- seem
- seems
- seen
- sees
- seized
- Select
- selection criteria
- selection process
- self
- SelfAcceptance
- self actualization
- self analysis
- self awareness
- self belief
- self care
- self confidence
- self conscience
- selfdestruction
- self discovery
- self doubt
- self doubts
- self esteem
- self expression
- self fulfilling prophecy
- Self Help
- self help books
- self hypnosis
- SELF IMPROVEMENT
- self improvement books
- selfish
- selfish desire
- SelfLove
- self medicate
- self motivation
- self perceptions
- self pity
- self sabotage
- self storage locations
- self worth
- selling
- seminal fluid
- seminars
- Sen.
- senate
- Senator
- send
- sending
- senior housing
- seniors
- senior year
- sensation
- sense
- sense of anxiety
- sense of urgency
- sense of wonder
- senses
- sensitivity to light
- sensory input
- sensory organ
- sensory perception
- sent
- sentence
- sentences
- sentencing
- sentiments
- separate
- separated
- separate ways
- Separation
- sepulcher
- sequel
- sequence 8
- serenity
- Series
- Serious
- serious health
- Seriously
- serious medical condition
- serious relationship
- serious situation
- sermon
- Sermons
- seroquel
- serotonin
- serotonin deficiency
- serotonin levels
- serpent
- serve
- served
- server crashes
- Serves
- Service
- service article
- services
- servied
- serving
- setbacks
- set backs
- set expectations
- setting
- setting goals
- setting personal goals
- setting the pace
- settle
- seven steps
- seventeen
- several
- several factors
- several times
- Severe
- severe anxiety
- severe depression
- Severely
- severe pain
- severity
- sex drive
- sexist
- sex organs
- SEXPOT
- Sexual
- sexual act
- sexual activity
- sexual attraction
- sexual behavior
- sexual dysfunction
- sexual enjoyment
- sexual health
- sexualities
- sexually
- sexual needs
- sexual problems
- sexual stimulation
- sex women
- s gross
- shabbat
- shabbat kiddush
- shackles
- shadow of a doubt
- shake
- shakespeare
- shallow breathing
- Shamanism
- shambles
- shame
- Shameful
- shampoo
- shampoos
- shape
- shapes
- shapes and sizes
- shape size
- shapes of buildings
- share
- Shared
- shared values
- share information
- sharing your thoughts
- shark
- Sharon
- sharp edge
- SHAUQ
- she's
- shelf life
- shell
- shelter
- sheltie
- She’s
- shiatsu massage chair
- shiva
- shock
- Shocking
- shocking statistic
- shoes
- shooting
- Shop
- shopaholic
- shoplifting
- shoppers
- shopping
- shopping mall
- shopping on the internet
- Short
- short answer
- short attention span
- shortness of breath
- short of breath
- short period
- short term goal
- short term memory
- short time
- shot
- should
- shoulders
- shoulder strain
- shoulder to the wheel
- shouldn't
- show
- shower.
- shows
- Showtime
- Shrew
- shud
- shyness
- sibling
- siblings
- Sicily
- sick
- sick family
- sick individuals
- side
- side motion
- sides
- siggys
- sights
- sigmund freud
- sign
- signage
- signal recognition
- signals
- Signatures
- significant
- signing
- signs
- signs of a panic attack
- signs of asthma
- signs of depression
- signs of mouth cancer
- signs of tooth decay
- silence
- silence 4
- silent healer
- silicate mineral
- silicone breast implants
- silicone implants
- silk
- silly grin
- silver fillings
- silver screen
- Silvestre
- similac
- simple e
- simple fact
- simple meditation
- simple present
- simpler time
- simple steps
- simpson
- since.
- sincere
- sincerity
- sing
- singer
- Single
- single day
- single mothers
- single parents
- single point
- singles scene
- single thing
- Sins
- sinus
- sippers
- sippy
- sippy cup
- sips
- SIP Trunking NY NY
- SIP Voice
- sisin
- sister
- sisters
- sitcom
- Site
- site..why
- sites
- Sitter
- sitting
- Situation
- situation stress
- sit ups
- six figure incomes
- six months
- six weeks
- sixyearold
- size
- SKILLED
- skilled partner
- skilled practitioner
- skilled weaver
- skills.
- Skin
- skin cancer
- skin care
- skin care product
- skin care products
- skin care tips
- skin cleansing
- skin disease
- skin diseases
- skin disorder
- skin inflammation
- skin mole
- skin moles
- skinny
- skin picking
- skin quality
- skin surface
- skin type
- skit
- skulls
- sky
- skyline
- sl.ut
- slander
- slapping
- Slaps
- sledgehammer
- sleep
- sleep 2
- sleep apnea
- sleep at night
- sleep disorder
- sleep disorders
- sleepers
- sleepiness
- sleeping
- sleeping bags
- sleeping children
- sleeping disorders
- sleeping pills
- sleep lab
- sleeplessness
- sleepless night
- sleepless nights
- sleep patterns
- sleep problems
- sleep system
- slept
- slew
- slipcovers
- slipped
- slipping
- slutting
- small
- small books
- small changes
- smaller steps
- small girl
- small portion
- smart
- smartest person
- smart goals
- smart move
- smart phones
- smart women
- smear
- smears
- smell
- smells
- smell taste
- smile
- smile smile
- Smith
- smoke
- smoke alarms
- smoked
- smoker
- smokers
- smokes
- smoking
- smoking addiction
- smoking cessation
- smoking habit
- smooth skin
- snack
- snacks
- snakes
- snap
- sneaking
- snoring
- snoring pillows
- snoring spray
- snort
- snorting
- snow
- sober
- sobriety
- socalled
- Social
- social acceptability
- social animals
- social anxiety
- social awareness
- social butterfly
- social competence
- social element
- social gatherings
- social group
- social interaction
- socialising
- social networking
- social outcasts
- social phobia
- social phobias
- social pressures
- social relationship
- social situation
- social situations
- social structure
- social taboos
- Society
- socket.
- socks
- sofa
- sofas
- soft drink
- soft drinks
- soft rain
- software developer
- soiling
- soils
- soil water
- solar cycle
- solar plexus chakra
- sole
- sole reason
- soles
- solstice sun
- Solution
- solutions
- solve
- solved
- some
- somebody
- some girls
- someone
- someones
- something
- something in the air
- something wrong
- sometime
- somewhere
- son.
- son...What
- son/daughter
- son/daughter's
- song
- songs
- soninlaw
- soninlaw's
- Sons
- soon
- soooo
- Soooooo
- soothe
- sop
- sophistication
- sophomore year
- sorcery
- sore
- Sores
- sorrow
- sorry
- sort
- sorts
- sought
- Soul
- soul mate
- soulmate
- soul mates
- sound
- sound advice
- sound approach
- sound of waves
- sounds
- sound sensitivity
- sounds like fun
- source location
- source of life
- source of stress
- sources of inspiration
- sources of motivation
- sources of stress
- south
- southwest area
- southwest designs
- southwestern rugs
- southwest indian
- southwest rugs
- space shuttle astronauts
- Spanish
- Spark
- spe
- speak
- speaking
- Spears
- Special
- special 21st birthday gifts
- special circumstances
- specialised centres
- Specialists
- special man
- special message
- special person
- special something
- species
- specific home
- spectator
- Speculum.
- Speech
- speech coach
- speeches
- speech impediment
- speed
- speeding.
- speed of life
- speed of light
- speed options
- speed reading
- spells
- spend
- spending
- spending time
- spends
- sperated
- sphere of influence
- spheres
- sphincter muscles
- spider veins
- spill
- spilled
- spinabifida
- spinning classes
- spirit
- spirits
- spiritual
- spiritual books
- spiritual communities
- spiritual core
- spiritual counseling
- spiritual discipline
- spiritual growth
- spiritual guidance
- spiritual health
- spiritual illumination
- spiritualism
- spirituality
- spiritual pain
- spiritual resources
- spiritual retreats
- spiritual teachers
- spit
- spite
- split
- spoiled
- Spontaneous
- Sporting
- sports
- sports memorabilia
- sports team
- Spot
- Spousal
- Spouse
- spray.
- spraypainted
- Spread
- Spree
- Spring
- spring and fall
- springer
- Springs
- spying
- spy mission
- squares
- squat
- squats lunges
- squeeze
- squiggly
- ssris
- stable relationship
- Stacker
- staff
- stage one
- stages
- stages of grief
- Staggering
- stagnant economy
- stain
- stainless steel coil
- stains
- stairs
- Stallion
- stamps
- Stand
- standpoint
- stanozolo
- staphysagria
- star
- starbucks
- starch
- star crossed lovers
- stardoll
- star in the sky
- star players
- stars
- start
- started
- starting
- start of something
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- starving
- State
- state attention
- statement
- state of denial
- state of emergency
- state of happiness
- States
- stationary bikes
- statistic
- statistical fact
- statistics
- stay
- stay at home
- stay at home dad
- stay at home dads
- stayed
- Staying
- staying at home
- staying calm
- stays
- steadfast commitment
- steady flow
- steady girlfriend
- steady pace
- steady stream
- steal
- stealing
- stealth
- steering wheel
- step
- step 1
- step 2
- step 6
- step action plan
- step at a time
- stepchild
- stepdaughter
- stepdaughters
- step details
- StepFather
- stepmom
- stepmother
- stepper
- Stepping
- stepping stones
- steps
- sterling qualities
- stern
- steve jobs
- stick
- sticks and stones
- stiffness
- stigma
- Still
- stillness
- stimulant
- stimulants
- st john s wort
- stock market
- stock market strategies
- stockport
- stole
- stolen
- stomach
- stomach acid
- stomach discomfort
- stomache
- stoned
- Stones
- stools
- stop
- stopped.
- stopping smoking
- stop smoking
- storage
- storage disease
- storage facilities
- storage facility
- storage location
- storage options
- Store
- store food
- storehouse
- Stories
- stories of child abuse
- storm damage
- Story
- story....is
- story glass
- storyline
- Storysocial
- stoves
- st petersburg florida
- straight
- straight line
- strain
- strange
- strange feeling
- strange kind
- strange question
- stranger
- strange symptoms
- strange way
- strapped
- stratagy
- strategy instruction
- Strattera
- straw
- Streaming
- street
- street cred
- street drugs
- street map
- streets
- streetwalkers
- strengths and weaknesses
- strength training
- stress
- Stress/up
- stress and anxiety
- stress and strain
- stress anxiety
- stress buster
- stressed
- stress effects
- stresses
- stressful...
- stressful days
- stressful event
- stressful moments
- stressful situation
- stressful situations
- stressful world
- stress level
- stress levels
- stress management
- stress management technique
- stress management techniques
- stress management tips
- stress management workshops
- stressors
- stress prevention
- stress reaction
- stress reduction
- stress reduction technique
- stress reduction techniques
- stress relief
- stress reliever
- stress relievers
- stress relieving activities
- stress response
- stress signals
- strictly
- Strindberg’s
- strip
- strip down
- stripping
- stroma
- strong
- strong desire
- strong work ethic
- struck
- struggle
- struggled
- struggling
- strung
- strychnine
- stuck
- Student
- student retention
- students
- Study
- StudyCriminal
- study skills
- stuff
- stuffed toy
- stunning piece
- Stupid
- stutter
- stuttering
- stuttering treatment
- style room
- style techniques
- subconscious
- subconscious feelings
- subconscious mind
- subject matters
- subliminal
- subliminal mind
- submits
- suboxin....any
- suboxone
- Suboxzone
- subscribers
- substance
- substance dependency
- Succeed
- succeeded
- Success
- successes
- success failure
- succession
- success rate
- success rates
- success skills
- such
- sucide
- SUCKING
- sudden
- sudden change
- sudden onset
- sudden proliferation
- sudden surge
- sue.
- suffered
- sufferer
- suffering
- suffering from
- suffering from depression
- SUFI
- sugar
- suggest
- suggesti
- suggestion
- suggestions
- suicidal
- suicidal thoughts
- suicide
- suicide attempts
- suing
- suit
- Suitable
- suitable products
- suitcases
- summer...
- summer solstice
- summertime
- sunburn
- sun cycles
- sundial
- sunlight
- sunny climate
- sunny day
- suns
- sunshine
- sun sun
- Super
- Superbug
- superiors
- supernatural phenomena
- Supervised
- suppers
- supplements
- supplies
- supply
- support
- supporter
- supporters
- supportive strategies
- supposed
- supremacist
- sure
- sure thing
- sure what type
- Surface
- surfers
- Surgery
- surgery procedure
- Surges
- surgical procedures
- surprise
- surprises
- SURREY
- Surrogacy
- surrogate
- surroundings
- Survey
- surveys
- survival
- Survive
- survived
- Surviving
- surviving a breakup
- surviving the loss of a loved one
- survivor
- susan boyle
- suspect
- suspected
- suspects
- suspended
- suspicison
- s vision
- swab
- swarovski crystals
- sweat equity
- sweaty hands
- Sweden
- Sweet
- sweetheart
- sweet innocence
- sweet memories
- sweetness
- sweet sixteen birthday party
- swelling
- swim suit
- swing
- swings
- switches
- switching
- Swollen
- swollen eyelids
- sword
- sydney harbor bridge
- symbolism
- symmetry
- sympathetic nervous system
- Symptoms
- symptoms anxiety attack
- symptoms of an anxiety attack
- symptoms of an asthma attack
- symptoms of anxiety
- symptoms of anxiety attack
- symptoms of anxiety attacks
- symptoms of clinical depression
- symptoms of depression
- symptoms of diabetes
- symptoms of low self esteem
- symptoms of nicotine withdrawal
- symptoms of panic attacks
- symptoms of sleep apnea
- symptoms of stress
- SymptomsTreatmentsPrognosis
- sync
- Syndrome
- synthetic leather
- Synthroid
- syrup
- system
- system 3
- T.V.
- T1 Bandwidth
- T1 Connection Financial District
- T1 Internet New York
- T1 Line Manhattan
- T1 PRI
- T1 Providers
- T1 Service
- T3 Line
- Taconic
- tact
- tactics
- tactile stimulation
- tail
- tailbone
- take
- Taken
- Takes
- take the lead
- taking
- taking care of your teeth
- taking drugs
- taking steps
- taking time
- Tale
- talents
- Tales
- talk
- talked
- talkers
- Talking
- talks
- tall
- Taming
- tandem
- tank
- tanks
- tanning
- tantrums
- tape
- Tapes
- target
- target date
- targets
- targets of opportunity
- target statement
- tarnish
- taste
- taste of alcohol
- taster
- tastes
- tasty
- tasty shakes
- tattoo
- tattoos
- taxes
- Taxpaying
- tc
- tea bag
- Teach
- teacher
- teachers
- Teaching
- teaching certificate
- teaching children
- teaching profession
- teambuilding exercises
- team game
- team games
- team members
- team motivation
- team sports
- teamwork
- tea pot
- tear
- Techniques
- Technology
- teen
- teen acne
- Teenage
- Teenaged
- teenage drug abuse teen drug usage teens using drugs in need of rehab
- teenager
- teenagers
- teens
- teeth
- Telecommunications
- Telephone
- telephone exchange
- teleseminars
- television
- television program
- television programs
- televisions
- television shows
- tell
- telling
- tells
- tell tale signs
- telltale signs
- temper
- temper tantrum
- temples in egypt
- temporal lobe
- temporary
- temporary pain
- temporary phase
- temporary situation
- temporary storage
- tenant
- tendencies
- tendency
- tender care
- tender herb
- tenents
- tenex side effects
- tennis
- Tennyson's
- tension
- tension headache
- tension headaches
- tequila's
- term
- term customers
- term gain
- term goals
- termination
- term insomnia
- term paper
- term quality
- term romance
- terrible
- terrifying experience
- Terrorisim
- Terrorizing
- test
- tested
- testimonial
- Testing
- test of time
- testosterone
- tests
- Texas
- Texen Alternative
- text
- texting
- text message
- text messages
- texts
- thalamus
- than
- THANK
- Thanks
- thanks dad
- that's
- that...
- their
- them
- Theme
- Themes
- Themselves
- then...
- theoretical points
- theories of sigmund freud
- Therapeutic
- therapeutic community
- therapeutic science
- therapist
- Therapy
- therapy sessions
- theraupevt
- there
- There's
- These
- thessaloniki greece
- Theta
- they
- theyre
- thick
- thief
- thier
- Thin
- thing
- things
- think
- Thinking
- thinkof
- thinks
- thin line
- thir
- third
- third day
- third party
- thirst
- thirst for knowledge
- Thirsty
- thirteen years
- thirty seconds
- thirty years
- this
- Thnks
- thomas edison
- thorns
- those
- though
- thought
- thoughtfulness
- thought patterns
- thoughts and feelings
- thoughts become things
- thousand miles
- thousands of dollars
- threatened
- threatening
- threatens
- threats
- three
- three dollars
- three fingers
- three girls
- three long years
- three months
- threesome
- threesomes
- three times
- threshold
- threw
- thrill of the chase
- Thriving
- throat
- throat chakra
- throat spray
- through
- throughout
- throwing
- throws
- thru
- thrush
- thumb
- thumbs
- Thursday
- Thx.
- thyroid
- tic disorder
- tick
- ticket
- Tickets
- tide
- ties
- tiger
- tiger woods
- tight deadline
- tightness in the chest
- tight rope walker
- tiles
- Till
- Time
- time 2
- time 3
- time and money
- time and space
- time don
- time dream
- time exercise
- time factor
- time frame
- time goals
- time habits
- timehelp
- time honored tradition
- time management skills
- time marriages
- time of year
- time one
- time out
- time out of mind
- time parent
- time peace
- time poster
- Times
- time span
- time strategies
- time stress
- time studies
- time times
- tincture
- tingling in the hands
- tingling sensation
- tingling sensation in fingers
- tinnitus
- Tiny
- tiny incisions
- tiny sparrow
- Tips
- tired
- Tires
- tissue damage
- tissue loss
- title
- titlei
- Title”
- tits
- tittle
- TMI...Depo
- TMOBILE
- toast
- tobacco
- tobacco products
- tobacco users
- today
- today’s
- toddler
- toddlers
- toegether.
- toes
- tofranil
- Together
- toil
- toilet
- toiletries
- toilets
- token
- told
- Toll
- tom jenkins
- Tommorrow
- Tomorrow
- tongue
- tonight
- toning your abs
- too.
- took
- tooth
- tooth brush
- tooth decay
- tooth disease
- tooth fillings
- toothpastes
- tooth problems
- top executive
- Topics
- topics of conversation
- torment
- torn
- tort..
- total
- totaled
- totally
- totals
- toting
- touch
- Touching
- tougher
- Toughest
- tough times
- Tourism
- Tourney
- towards
- Towel
- town.
- towns and cities
- toxic
- toxins
- toys
- traces
- Track
- Trade
- trade recipes
- Trading
- tradition
- traditional
- traditional classroom
- traditional gifts
- traditional modes
- traditions
- traffic
- traffic generation
- traffic laws
- tragedies
- tragedy
- tragic death
- tragic love stories
- trailer
- trail of tears
- train
- train children
- training
- traitors
- Traits
- trance
- trances
- transcendental meditation technique
- trans fats
- transferred
- transformation
- transformations
- transgendered
- transient insomnia
- transition
- translate
- Translated
- trash
- trauma
- traumatic event
- traumatic experiences
- traumatic stress disorder
- traumatized
- trave
- Travel
- traverse
- treacherous shoals
- treading water
- treadmill
- Treat
- treatable condition
- treated
- treating
- treating depression
- treatmen
- Treatment
- Treatment.Research
- treatment of depression
- treatment options
- Treatment Program
- Treatments
- treatments for depression
- treats
- tree
- trees
- trees and flowers
- trial
- trial and error
- tribute
- trick
- tricky
- tricyclic
- tricyclics
- tried
- tries
- Trigger
- trimester
- Trinity
- trip
- tripped
- TriState
- triumph
- trivial matter
- trivita
- Troopergate
- trophy
- trouble
- Troubled
- troubled relationships
- troubles
- trouble sleeping
- Troublesome
- True
- true allergy
- true depth
- true desire
- true desires
- true essence
- true facts
- true gentleman
- true happiness
- true identities
- true leaders
- true love
- true nature
- true roots
- true statements
- true value
- true work
- truly
- trunks
- Trust
- trusted
- truth
- truth about
- truthful
- trying
- tube.
- Tuck
- tude
- Tuesday
- tuition fees
- Tummy
- tumor
- tumours
- tunnels
- turbulence
- turkey
- Turn
- turned
- Turning
- turning the tables
- turns
- tutors
- tv ads
- tv talk
- tw
- tweekers
- tweezers
- twelve years
- twenty
- twenty minutes
- Twice
- twice.is
- Twilight
- twin
- twinkling
- twin towers
- twists and turns
- two couples
- two covenants
- two girls
- two pieces
- two star crossed lovers
- two ways
- two year olds
- tylenol
- type
- type of food
- Types
- types of drugs
- types of memory
- types of motivation
- types of steroids
- typical
- typically
- typical symptoms
- u'll
- U.C.D.
- U.s.
- ugly head
- UHM....
- unacceptable activities
- unattended candle
- unbiased
- unblock
- unborn
- uncanny accuracy
- uncertainty
- uncle
- uncomfortable sensations
- uncommon.
- unconscious mind
- uncontrolled
- under
- underage
- underaged
- undergo
- understand
- Understanding
- undertakings
- underworld
- undivided attention
- undress
- Uneasy
- unemployment
- unemployment figures
- unexpected growth
- unexpected increase
- unexpected obstacles
- unexpected twists
- unexplained pain
- unfair
- unfair advantage
- Unfaithful
- unfit
- unfortunate side effect
- unfortunate sufferer
- unfounded fears
- unhappiness
- unhealthily
- Unhealthy
- unhealthy relationship
- unhealthy relationships
- Unholy
- unicyclist
- uninspiring
- uninsured
- Unique
- unique gift ideas
- unique lives
- United
- Universal
- universal energy
- universe
- university
- university education
- university of chicago
- university of wisconsin madison
- unlimited power
- unloved
- unmarried
- unnecessary time
- Unpaid
- unparalleled adventure
- unquenchable
- unreality
- unresolved grief
- unresolved issues
- unspeakable pain
- unsuccessful...now
- unsuccessful effort
- unsupervised
- Unsupportive
- unsure
- until
- unusual
- unusual buildings
- unwanted behavior
- unwanted thoughts
- upbeat manner
- upbringing
- upcoming
- Update
- upholstering
- upkeep
- upon
- ups
- upset
- upset stomach
- upshot
- Urban
- urban legend
- urge
- URGENT
- urges
- Urinalysis
- Urine
- usage10
- u s census
- us census
- u s census bureau
- used
- use energy
- us environmental protection agency
- usePLEASE
- user
- users
- uses
- using
- using a nebulizer
- using the word
- usually
- Utah
- Uterine
- utterance
- vacations
- Vaccination
- Vaccinations
- Vaccine
- vacuum
- vagina
- vaginal dryness
- vaginal yeast infection
- vague goals
- validation
- validity
- valid measure
- valium
- Valtrex
- Valuable
- valuables
- value
- value independence
- values
- vandalism
- vanilla ice
- vanilla ice cream
- Vanishing
- vantage points
- varity
- vaseline
- Veep's
- vegetables
- veil
- velcro straps
- ventura
- Vera
- verbal agreement
- verbally
- verge
- verified
- Verify
- Verizon
- verrry
- Verse
- versed
- Versus
- vertigo
- very
- vestibule
- Viable
- viagra cream
- vibes
- Vibrating
- vibration
- Vice
- vices
- vicinity
- vicious
- vicious cycle
- Vick
- vicodin
- vicodinaddicted
- Victim
- victimization
- victim mentality
- Victims
- Victims…adds
- Victim’s
- Victoria's
- Victorian
- victory
- video
- videos
- videos of meth addicts faces methamphetamine addiction photos pictures of drug abusers
- View
- viewpoint
- views
- vigil
- vigorous physical activity
- village doctor
- Villages
- vinegar
- violate
- violation
- violence
- Violent
- violent behavior
- viral rashes
- virgin
- virginia satir
- virtual networking
- virtue
- virus
- Visa
- Visible
- visible areas
- vision disturbances
- vision problems
- vision quest
- visions
- visit
- visitation
- visiting
- Vista
- visual impression
- visualization
- Visualize
- visual representation
- vital answers
- vital documents
- vitality
- vitality and health
- vital life force
- Vitally
- vital tool
- vitamin b12 deficiency
- vitamin b complex
- vitamin d
- vitamins and minerals
- vitamins minerals
- vocabulary
- voicemail
- Voice T1
- volleyball tournament
- voluntarily
- vomiting
- vote
- voting
- VP's
- VPN NJ New Jersey internet
- Vulgare
- vulnerability
- w/his
- w/our
- w/regard
- w/wout
- waching
- waffle irons
- wage war
- Wailin'
- waisting
- Waiting
- Wake
- wakes
- waking
- walk
- Walker
- walking
- walking down the aisle
- walking exercise
- walking on eggshells
- walking shoes
- walk in the park
- walks
- wall
- wallet
- walmart
- walter cannon
- Wandering
- Wanna
- wannt
- want
- wanted
- wanting
- wants
- war....mom
- Warcraft
- Waring
- warm handshake
- warm water
- warn
- Warning
- warning signs
- warrants
- warriors
- Wash
- Washington
- washington state
- Wasilla
- wasn't
- wasting
- wasting time
- wasting your money
- watch
- watched
- watching
- watching tv
- watching your vision
- water
- water..help
- water cooler
- waterfall
- water is life
- water sports
- water sprinklers
- water wine
- Wave
- wave energy
- waves of fear
- Wayne
- way of thinking
- Ways
- ways and means
- ways to quit smoking
- ways to reduce stress
- weakest link
- wealth creation
- wealthy architect
- wean
- weaning
- weapon of mass destruction
- weapons
- weapons of mass destruction
- Wear
- wear and tear
- wearing
- weather
- weavings
- webkinz
- web pages
- website
- website traffic generation
- Wedding
- wedding bouquet
- wedding gown
- wedding jitters
- wedlock
- Wednesday
- wee bit
- weed
- week
- weekend
- weekly
- weeks
- weeks...what
- weened
- weening
- weepy
- weight
- weight/hair
- weight gain
- weight lifting programs
- weight loss
- weight loss capsules
- weight loss goal
- weight loss management
- weight loss news
- weight loss plan
- weird
- weird concept
- welfare
- Welfaretowork
- well
- wellbeing
- well meaning
- wellness products
- welps
- welts
- went
- were
- Wesley
- Western
- western culture
- western medicine
- western style
- wet.
- wets
- Wetting
- wet tissues
- wet weather
- wey
- whammy
- what'll
- What's
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Mothers and drinking alcohol while child is in your care??Read Info……?
Custody for recovering alcoholic mothers?
My husband & I recently separated & he wants to take our 5 mo. old daughter from me. My trip to alcoholism in 2005 w/the separation from my ex & 8 year marriage. I went through treatment in 2006 & had been sober since until my relapse Feb. 8, 2008 of this year. I self-admitted myself to a treatment program & am attending AA & doing the steps unlike before. I’m very proactive in my recovery & I can say more so now than before. It took me a long time to realize this is a disease I will have 2 deal w/the rest of my life & I know I can’t do it alone. My husband is emotionally abusive & w/ a lil help from postpartum depression I slipped back. Only for a short while but he is trying to say now that I’m a bad(unfit) mother & he should have primary custody of our daughter. He hardly had anything 2 do w/her until I left & still has not taken her to 1 doctors appt. We rescheduled her shots to I could take her on my weekend. He only lets me see her 2 days each week. Any suggestions?
What Mothers Are Finding Out About Paxil
Does your son or daughter take Paxil? Has your son or daughter been hurt, injured, harmed, or even died as a result of taking Paxil? If so, it is time that you find out what mothers are starting to find out about the antidepressant drug called Paxil.
Today, mothers are finding out that Paxil was never intended to be used as an antidepressant in children under the age of eighteen years old. There are many lawsuits against the GlaxoSmithKline Company, the manufacturers of Paxil; because it is believed that they may have hidden or misrepresented vital information about the possible side effects that Paxil could have on children under the age of eighteen years old. The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has never approved the use of Paxil among children and has posted several warnings that the use of Paxil could result in increased suicidal and violent thoughts, cardiac problems, respiratory problems, and other side effects such as nausea, diarrhea, dry mouth, tremors, and insomnia in children and it could have even more drastic effects on mothers-to-be. Research has proven and shown that mothers who took Paxil during their pregnancy had a higher risk of cardiac, respiratory, and other birth defects. The FDA reported that mothers who took Paxil during the first trimester (the first 12 weeks) of the pregnancy increased the risk by double of experiencing some form of birth defect or complication as a result of taking the drug.
Many doctors do not tell their patients that the use of Paxil was never recommended for children or pregnant mothers. Many doctors prescribe Paxil by using their professional judgment. Therefore, if your son or daughter is taking or has been given a prescription for Paxil by a doctor, it is a good idea to contact a Paxil lawyer to discuss the possible problems that may arise. There are Paxil lawyers available to explain the effects of Paxil on some patients and what your legal rights are in regards to the complications resulting from the use of this medication.
Many mothers are finding this information out too late. So, be wise. Investigate your child’s Paxil medication before it is too late. There are other antidepressant medications that are more effective and safer for children. Paxil is not recommended for children under the age of eighteen, so think twice before your child becomes a Paxil victim. If you have any questions, contact a Paxil Lawyer today. It is better to be safe, than sorry.
A Mother’s Custody Injustice
I have never done anything like this before. I have never been in a desperate situation where I am in a soundproof bubble, and the system doesn’t hear my cries. They see me, but they pretend I am not there. This is the Michigan Family Law and Friend of the Court Division. It is our system; the one we are suppose to count on for freedom, justice, and liberty. It is my prayer that you read through to the end. Although this is my hell and my grief, this story must be heard. Please feel free to leave comments and post the story in to your blogs and various social marketing venues. It is imperative that we use our voices; otherwise, this will continue to happen to mothers who don’t deserve it. Justice needs to prevail, I must get my daughter back, and the biased officials involved in my case need to be reprimanded. This must climb up the political ladder and reach the steps of the Supreme Court. I can not get there alone.
I am a wife and mother of four amazing children. We are an American white collar, middle-class family. I am so fortunate and thankful that we own a beautiful 2,500 square foot home that backs up to the 4th green of a prestigious golf course. I wasn’t always of this status, most people aren’t. We start somewhere, and then gradually improve ourselves with the combination of time, effort & experiences. I consider myself ordinary. I, like most of you, have experienced meaningful relationships. I’ve been hurt. I’ve failed and given up on things. I’ve traveled extensively, I’ve gone to college. I am a deep thinker, a reader, and I am gentle. I love nature and respect its wrath. I am not religious, but am deeply spiritual. I am passionate about loving and caring for my children. I am always searching….searching for truth, for mindfulness, for authenticity. I am searching for the path that will ultimately be the “dash”….you know, that little mark on a gravestone that is between the day you were born and the day you passed….that’s the dash I am referring to.
I would ask, are you much the same? Probably. I am thankful that we can redeem ourselves throughout our lifetime; to make better decisions, to course-correct, and to leave a footprint that we can be proud of.
So, why am I writing about custody injustices?
On January 22, 2009, I lost custody of my 9 year old daughter; the oldest of four. I didn’t lose custody because of abuse, or because of illness, or because I was unwilling to care for her. I didn’t lose custody because of drugs or alcohol, or because of a lack of interest and participation in her social and educational needs. I didn’t lose custody because I couldn’t provide her with clothing, food, housing, or emotional support. I lost her because of an incompetent court system with which accountability to a higher court or official is unlikely. Records are so tightly sealed in the Michigan Family Court System, that the likelihood of reprimand and justice is as likely as the sky turning yellow tomorrow.
I was under the disillusionment that a mother who is unfit or unwilling to parent could lose custody of a child. I never dreamed that a mother who was competent, loving, stable, and willing could lose their child.
I solely raised my daughter and was completely alone during my pregnancy. Her father and I parted ways because he had some severe addictions to overcome and I didn’t want any part of it. When I told him about the pregnancy (which was right away), he denied responsibility. He began accusing me of being promiscuous. His parents and sister were unaware of his addictions for the most part (they knew he used drugs, but they didn’t know to what extent), and they too began to propose that the baby wasn’t his. Over the next several months, I began to look inside of myself and had to make some pretty grown-up decisions.
I finally moved back to Michigan with my family when I was 34 weeks gestation. I felt that it was the best thing I could do for myself and my unborn child. I would be in a safe, moral, and loving home, receiving unconditional support. Love and support is what I needed, and I wasn’t getting it in Indiana. My unborn child’s father was still backing out of the responsibility and I came to accept that we would be alone. I was about to embark upon “single parenthood”, a journey that would shape me in to the person I longed to be, a journey that would be so treacherous at times, it would test my endurance down to the nucleus of my being. Even so, I was ready to take it on .
I never married her father. After my daughter was born, I re-met a man I knew when I was a child and got pregnant again. I was on birth control when this happened and was devastated to be in this situation again. I married this man 7 months later, had yet another child and we divorced when our youngest was 2. If I don’t have you disgusted by now, it gets worse. I got pregnant again with someone who became the love of my life, before our divorces were final. OUCH! If you are thinking we cheated on our ex-spouses, think again. That is not why our previous marriages dissolved, but amidst our divorces, we met and became attracted to one another. I ended up marrying for the last time, and the rest is history.
Regarding my last surprise pregnancy, in my mind then and still to this day almost 6 years later, I believe that the responsible and right action to take with regards to my situation was to carry this pregnancy full term whether it was socially accepted or not. No person or court should be given the right to impose their conviction as an absolute rule if a law has not been broken. For some unreasonable single dimensional process of thought, our society so eagerly conforms to; I was labeled as immoral (by the court), years later. I haven’t done anything that everyone else isn’t doing. Hello, people have sex. Some get pregnant, others don’t. It’s the women who get pregnant that are at a disadvantage. Think about it…when you have a big balloon belly, the evidence that you engaged in sexual activities is plain and clear. If you are on effective birth control, nobody thinks about it. For a man, there is no visual indication that he is engaging in sexual activities. It is only the pregnant woman who endures the “immoral” label. Because she’s pregnant and unwed, she must be promiscuous. That, unfortunately, is the punishment our society and system have placed on women.
By the time our daughter was 18 months old, my friendship with her father was on the mend, and for the next 7 years I considered him a best friend. I put a great deal of thought into the life my child would have without her parents getting along and being supportive of one another. With all of my selfish might, I didn’t want to bite the bullet, but it wasn’t about me me me anymore. He stopped using drugs, and even stopped smoking. The court verified parentage through DNA testing (ordered by the court to begin collecting child support and recover hospital costs that Medicaid initially paid). It wasn’t until she was 2 years old that he began paying child support, and his arrears neared $3,000.00.
It was in an earlier court occurrence when our daughter was 5 months old, that he would lie under oath for the first time stating that he provided for his daughter financially, and saw her regularly. He petitioned a motion preventing me from leaving the state of Michigan with the daughter he denied was his. At this time paternity was not established, nor was a court order for parenting time and/or support entered. That didn’t happen until she was almost 2 years old. The Judge ruled in the father’s favor and I was not to move our child’s residence out of the state of Michigan.
Over the next 8 years, life continued. My family was complete, I found my lifelong partner, I ran my own successful company, and subscribed to an intense leadership development program. I coordinated and hosted charitable benefits for our local Child Abuse and Neglect Council, regularly met with and mentored with my children’s school district superintendent and principals about topics such as leadership and parenting, and was invited to be a guest speaker for career days. I am deeply involved in my children’s education and offer to volunteer at their schools. Each week, I meet with them individually over their lunch hour. These are our special “dates”.
It is not my intention to toot my own horn. I just want you to be able to gauge my involvement. While this is just from an educational standpoint, the level of involvement carries over in to every facet of their lives.
Here is where my life turned a corner:
I received notification on June 25, 2008 that the non-custodial parent petitioned the court for a change of custody. In Michigan, there are 12 factors considered in determining the “best interest of the child”. It is basically a game….whomever receives the most points wins.
I was completely blind-sided. There was as a petition before me requesting a change of custody due to abuse and a lack of financial resources. I can’t even begin to convey my shock and disbelief at this nonsense. Here was an erroneous testimony alleging that I abused my daughter physically, frequently cursed at her, would scream uncontrollably, and was unable to financially support extra-curricular activities such as gymnastics for her.
I was scratching my head, wondering if this was a cruel prank.
In April 2008 for the first time ever since a support order was entered, I requested that the court considers a review for child support. Because the father lives in Indiana, this complicates orders with regards to child support. He doesn’t pay what Michigan’s standards are, although my daughter and I resided in Michigan. He pays according to Indiana’s formulations which are considerably lower. Our child was no longer a baby, and the cost of her daily upkeep had increased over the past 7 years.
I received a call from him days later confronting me about requesting the review. When I told him that indeed, I requested the review, it changed everything. Our friendship turned a corner, and paybacks came in the form of a change of custody motion on June 25, 2008.
An order for mediation was entered. This is a “service” that is provided under the umbrella of the Friend of the Court. This mediator is not bound by family law standards and is absolved from possible lawsuits that could result from their recommendations….right, wrong, or indifferent. In other words, if your mediator is incompetent (to put it nicely), you can not file a claim against him/her as a result. They are untouchable. How convenient.
Of the 12 factors, in a truthful and transparent world, I would be favored solely on 8 factors and we would equally share 4 factors. The only way it would be possible for us to share on 4 factors was a direct result of my conviction that my daughter and her father would need to spend more time together than what the court was ordering. A normal parent/child bond would have been impossible with one weekend per month (that was the courts order).
Unfortunately, this isn’t a truthful and transparent world. It is a world sadly full of selfish, unaware, scathing people (and many of them are in politics).
My thoughts going in to mediation, was that she (the mediator) would instantly see that the plaintiffs testimony was far-fetched. I had confidence that the mediator would be intelligent, would have an eye and ear for inconsistencies, and could be able to accurately decipher between truth and untruth.
Moreover, as it is a part of my way of communicating, I never thought twice about using metaphors, analogies, or directives. Intelligent discussion about the facts regarding my relationship with both my daughter and her father were botched entirely in the written recommendation drawn by the mediator.
An example of 1 of the countless severely skewed pieces of conversation is as follows:
I was sharing with the mediator how out of my 4 children, each of them has very different personalities….same parent….4 different personalities. I grabbed this analogy I am about to share from a motivational leadership speaker. The talk this speaker gave was titled “Buffalo’s and Butterflies”. I said to the mediator, “I have 4 children. I can best describe them this way: 2 are butterflies….happy, bouncy, and fluttery. I also have a mosquito….this little guy is always attached to me, either on my hip or on my lap. Then, I have my buffalo. She has a strong will, is hard to budge once her mind is made up, and is sometimes just plain stubborn”.
What I said and the context in which I said it was not conveyed the same way in the recommendation. The mediator writes this on the final recommendation: “This mother refers to her child as a bull!”
That’s it. Would you say she accurately relayed my statement?
Here is another account:
I was asked why I might be opposed to my daughter living with her father. Because there is not just a single answer to that question, one of my reasons was: “My daughter is an extremely bright child. She is getting her education from one of the top schools in the state. The children are tested in to the school and it is a school dedicated to creative arts and academic giftedness. My daughter is surrounded each day by cultural diversity, and higher learning. These children are positioned to attend any university in the country. My daughter has the potential to be a brain surgeon. In the Amish community her father lives in, the percentages of people completing grade school are numbered. If they do graduate, they go on to work in the local trailer factories, farms, or grocers. My daughter can be so much more than that. Her father, grandfather, and great-grandfather all worked for the family excavating business. Her education here will help to position her for a life more successful than the one I had.
This is what the mediator wrote in the recommendation: “This mother’s reason for not wanting her child to live in Indiana is because she said her daughter will grow up to be nothing more than a grocery store clerk if she lives with her dad”. She left out all of the other reasons I gave, such as that she has 3 younger siblings in the home….how might it change their lives to no longer have their sister with them?
Here is another:
In an attempt to defend myself from hurtful and untruthful allegations of premiscuity, I shared with the mediator that I have only had a handful of relationships, each were deeply meaningful. I told her that at least I knew the names of people I shared my bed with, whereas my daughter’s father did not. He lost his virginity in a different country whilst in a drunken stupor. He didn’t know the girl…not even her name. Following our daughter’s birth, he frequented the gentleman’s clubs and paid for sexual pleasures.
This is how the mediator worded it in her recommendation: “The minor child’s mother said knew the names of the men she laid with”. Nothing further was written regarding this conversation. This bit of conversation was placed in the recommendation under the moral fitness of the parents factor. He was favored on this factor. Also, while in court, the father’s attorney asked me: “you told the mediator that you knew the names of the men you laid with?”. Then she gave this little conniving laugh and used body language intended to intimidate. It still makes my skin crawl to this day. I said, “yes, but”…..then she interrupted and said: “It was a yes or know answer”. I was not allowed to finish.
There are more…many, many more accounts of poor and inaccurate note taking. Most of my testimony was not reflected in the final recommendation. It is my belief that the mediator had her mind made up within minutes of our introduction.
Rewinding to the first day of interviewing: I wasn’t prepared for the 4 hour long bash-fest I was about to embark upon when I entered the mediators office along with my daughters father. I thought that the mediator would systematically discuss each factor with us and allow us each a turn to share our side. That is not what happened. No sooner did she explain her protocol and the bantering began. This man had been well-rehearsed by his attorney on what to say and when to say it. I on the other hand was not. My attorney advised me to be honest and transparent.
It became evident nearly immediately that he had been practicing his every word. He also knew exactly everything the mediator was going to ask. As a matter of fact, he answered everything before it was asked, right down the line. He came up for air after 4 hours.
All I could manage was frequent protests. I could not get a word in edgewise, nor was I given the opportunity to. He was assailing blame and resentment, of which nothing had a speck of truth. The mediator wrote down everything he was saying, and it carried over in to the final recommendation. She did not and could not verify anything he was alleging, because none of it had truth.
My thoughts were literally spinning in my head. Where did this all come from? How did he come up with it? Wait, some of these characteristics are his, not mine, but he’s blaming me? This must be a very bad dream! He laid out pages upon pages worth of erroneous bull crap, and now, all I was left with was the hope that this mediator would see through it.
Because we weren’t even close to finishing the interview/interrogation, another time was scheduled….this time, we went in separately. I was much more comfortable with that. When I sat with the mediator, she went through each factor with me. The interview lasted about 1 1/2 hours and during that time, she jotted down some notes only a handful of times. That alarmed me.
When my ex was being interviewed alone, it gave him the opportunity to pull more awful allegations about me out of his magical bag. This time without my protests.
I will tell you, my feelings about him took a fast U-turn. This is a person who praised me as an individual and as a parent over the past 7 years, a person who called me on almost a daily basis just to chat, a person who I re-opened my heart back up to as a friend and opened my home up to on weekends he came to pick up our daughter but the roads were too bad to travel on, a person who called me his best friend.
I realized that he was either a person who was wearing a facade all those years, planning all along to make this move, or it was the sudden new relationship and engagement he was in that triggered this. It is really something to witness…selfishness that is. We all have it, but for some, it goes through a sort of metamorphosis. When you give selfishness wings, it can and will go anywhere. It will plow down anything and everything that gets in its way and it won’t look back, because it doesn’t have a conscience.
I knew based on the final recommendation that he continued during his private interview to throw some additional fictitious details out there for the record.
In the end, the non-custodial father was in favor on all 12 factors. The Saginaw County Friend of the Court Mediator didn’t favor me on a single one. His testimony became the “hard evidence” needed to gain sole physical custody.
During the final court hearing, my attorney blasted holes through the plaintiff’s testimony and she devalued the mediator’s recommendation by means of witnesses and hard documentation. The school principal and teachers were witnesses, my husband, and my mother. My attorney pointed out one inconsistency after the other. She went through each factor, line-by-line and anyone with even a pea-sized brain would conclude that the allegations lacked evidence, some were even humorously ridiculous, and the recommendation made by the friend of the court mediator was void of evidence and was drawn purely from one-sided hearsay.
I lost custody of my daughter that day. My children lost their sister. The same leniency and generosity I afforded her dad all those years was not afforded to me (with every other weekend visits, extended summer breaks, and sharing all school breaks). The judge was a breath away from revoking my joint legal custody rights and verbalized this in the final seconds of his judgment.
It’s been 10 months since custody was lost. Our lives have changed so much, and so has my daughters. Everything single thing that favored her father by the mediator either never existed or existed only for a moment, long enough to get it on the record. I was awarded one weekend per calendar month. I am responsible to drive to Indiana to pick her up on that Friday and we get home at around 8 pm. We have all of Saturday to reconnect, and then she’s whisked away early Sunday afternoon. I don’t get to see her at all for the remaining 2009 holidays, nor for the first half of 2010 holidays. We live 156 miles apart, and in Michigan, if parties live more than 150 miles apart, they by default are granted only 1 visit per month (over a weekend). While the judge knew I let him have every-other-weekend visits with our daughter, he did not feel impelled or kind enough to afford me the same.
She is being raised by her single father whose engagement was called off shortly after the custody was changed. His relationship fell apart completely and his fiance and her young child moved out. My daughter who is now 10 doesn’t have a maternal influence on a daily basis, just 1 1/2 days per month. No one to sit down with to discuss “girl things”, no mumma to play with her hair, or tuck her in snug-as-a-bug-in-a-rug at night, no mumma to have “spa nights” with (this is when we get out all of our beauty goodies and do makeovers and pedicures). Daughters need their mother’s. Forty-eight hours per month is abusive and does not aid in embracing a mother/daughter bond. It is not even close to being enough time!
If I had to do it all over again, I wouldn’t change a thing…..except I would have brought a voice recorder to the Mediation interview. It should be required by state law that the testimony given at mediation be audio taped.
I have learned a lesson that has perhaps hardened me, but has also been a huge eye-opener:
Transparency, truth, and integrity doesn’t always prevail. Sometimes it takes being dirty and cunning to get to the top. For me, I lost something irreplaceable and precious….but, I didn’t lose my integrity.
Nothing ever became of the request for child support review in late April 2008 that stemmed his move for custody in June 2008. When I contacted the child support division in Indiana on numerous occasions prior to losing custody, they would tell me that they haven’t reviewed the case yet. I called right up until the day I lost my daughter. After the change of custody was ordered, I received a letter from their office stating that because custody has changed, there would be no need for review.
A Michigan Mother’s Custody Injustice
I have never done anything like this before. I have never been in a desperate situation where I am in a soundproof bubble, and the system doesn’t hear my cries. They see me, but they pretend I am not there. This is the Michigan Family Law and Friend of the Court Division. It is our system; the one we are suppose to count on for freedom, justice, and liberty. It is my prayer that you read through to the end. Although this is my hell and my grief, this story must be heard. Please feel free to leave comments and post the story in to your blogs and various social marketing venues. It is imperative that we use our voices; otherwise, this will continue to happen to mothers who don’t deserve it. Justice needs to prevail, I must get my daughter back, and the biased officials involved in my case need to be reprimanded. This must climb up the political ladder and reach the steps of the Supreme Court. I can not get there alone.
I am a wife and mother of four amazing children. We are an American white collar, middle-class family. I am so fortunate and thankful that we own a beautiful 2,500 square foot home that backs up to the 4th green of a prestigious golf course. I wasn’t always of this status, most people aren’t. We start somewhere, and then gradually improve ourselves with the combination of time, effort & experiences. I consider myself ordinary. I, like most of you, have experienced meaningful relationships. I’ve been hurt. I’ve failed and given up on things. I’ve traveled extensively, I’ve gone to college. I am a deep thinker, a reader, and I am gentle. I love nature and respect its wrath. I am not religious, but am deeply spiritual. I am passionate about loving and caring for my children. I am always searching….searching for truth, for mindfulness, for authenticity. I am searching for the path that will ultimately be the “dash”….you know, that little mark on a gravestone that is between the day you were born and the day you passed….that’s the dash I am referring to.
I would ask, are you much the same? Probably. I am thankful that we can redeem ourselves throughout our lifetime; to make better decisions, to course-correct, and to leave a footprint that we can be proud of.
So, why am I writing about custody injustices?
On January 22, 2009, I lost custody of my 9 year old daughter; the oldest of four. I didn’t lose custody because of abuse, or because of illness, or because I was unwilling to care for her. I didn’t lose custody because of drugs or alcohol, or because of a lack of interest and participation in her social and educational needs. I didn’t lose custody because I couldn’t provide her with clothing, food, housing, or emotional support. I lost her because of an incompetent court system with which accountability to a higher court or official is unlikely. Records are so tightly sealed in the Michigan Family Court System, that the likelihood of reprimand and justice is as likely as the sky turning yellow tomorrow.
I was under the disillusionment that a mother who is unfit or unwilling to parent could lose custody of a child. I never dreamed that a mother who was competent, loving, stable, and willing could lose their child.
I solely raised my daughter and was completely alone during my pregnancy. Her father and I parted ways because he had some severe addictions to overcome and I didn’t want any part of it. When I told him about the pregnancy (which was right away), he denied responsibility. He began accusing me of being promiscuous. His parents and sister were unaware of his addictions for the most part (they knew he used drugs, but they didn’t know to what extent), and they too began to propose that the baby wasn’t his. Over the next several months, I began to look inside of myself and had to make some pretty grown-up decisions.
I finally moved back to Michigan with my family when I was 34 weeks gestation. I felt that it was the best thing I could do for myself and my unborn child. I would be in a safe, moral, and loving home, receiving unconditional support. Love and support is what I needed, and I wasn’t getting it in Indiana. My unborn child’s father was still backing out of the responsibility and I came to accept that we would be alone. I was about to embark upon “single parenthood”, a journey that would shape me in to the person I longed to be, a journey that would be so treacherous at times, it would test my endurance down to the nucleus of my being. Even so, I was ready to take it on.
I never married her father. After my daughter was born, I re-met a man I knew when I was a child and got pregnant again. I was on birth control when this happened and was devastated to be in this situation again. I married this man 7 months later, had yet another child and we divorced when our youngest was 2. If I don’t have you disgusted by now, it gets worse. I got pregnant again with someone who became the love of my life, before our divorces were final. OUCH! If you are thinking we cheated on our ex-spouses, think again. That is not why our previous marriages dissolved. I ended up marrying for the last time, and the rest is history.
Regarding my last surprise pregnancy, in my mind then and still to this day almost 6 years later, I believe that the responsible and right action to take with regards to my situation was to carry this pregnancy full term whether it was socially accepted or not. No person or court should be given the right to impose their conviction as an absolute rule if a law has not been broken. For some unreasonable single dimensional process of thought, our society so eagerly conforms to; I was labeled as immoral by the court, years later. I haven’t done anything that everyone else isn’t doing. Hello, people have sex. Some get pregnant, others don’t. It’s the women who get pregnant that are at a disadvantage. Think about it…when you have a big balloon belly, the evidence that you engaged in sexual activities is plain and clear. If you are on effective birth control, nobody thinks about it. For a man, there is no visual indication that he is engaging in sexual activities. It is only the pregnant woman who endures the “immoral” label. Because she’s pregnant and unwed, she must be promiscuous. That, unfortunately, is the punishment our society and system have placed on women.
By the time our daughter was 18 months old, my friendship with her father was on the mend, and for the next 7 years I considered him a best friend. I put a great deal of thought into the life my child would have without her parents getting along and being supportive of one another. With all of my selfish might, I didn’t want to bite the bullet, but it wasn’t about me me me anymore. He stopped using drugs, and even stopped smoking. The court verified parentage through DNA testing (ordered by the court to begin collecting child support and recover hospital costs that Medicaid initially paid). It wasn’t until she was 2 years old that he began paying child support, and his arrears neared $3,000.00.
It was in an earlier court occurrence when our daughter was 5 months old, that he would lie under oath for the first time stating that he provided for his daughter financially, and saw her regularly. He petitioned a motion preventing me from leaving the state of Michigan with the daughter he denied was his. At this time paternity was not established, nor was a court order for parenting time and/or support entered. That didn’t happen until she was almost 2 years old. The Judge ruled in the father’s favor and I was not to move our child’s residence out of the state of Michigan.
Over the next 8 years, life continued. My family was complete, I found my lifelong partner, I ran my own successful company, and subscribed to an intense leadership development program. I coordinated and hosted charitable benefits for our local Child Abuse and Neglect Council, regularly met with and mentored with my children’s school district superintendent and principals about topics such as leadership and parenting, and was invited to be a guest speaker for career days. I am deeply involved in my children’s education and offer to volunteer at their schools. Each week, I meet with them individually over their lunch hour. These are our special “dates”.
It is not my intention to toot my own horn. I just want you to be able to gauge my involvement. While this is just from an educational standpoint, the level of involvement carries over in to every facet of their lives.
Here is where my life turned a corner:
I received notification on June 25, 2008 that the non-custodial parent petitioned the court for a change of custody. In Michigan, there are 12 factors considered in determining the “best interest of the child”. It is basically a game….whomever receives the most points wins.
I was completely blind-sided. There was as a petition before me requesting a change of custody due to abuse and a lack of financial resources. I can’t even begin to convey my shock and disbelief at this nonsense. Here was an erroneous testimony alleging that I abused my daughter physically, frequently cursed at her, would scream uncontrollably, and was unable to financially support extra-curricular activities such as gymnastics for her.
I was scratching my head, wondering if this was a cruel prank.
In April 2008 for the first time ever since a support order was entered, I requested that the court considers a review for child support. Because the father lives in Indiana, this complicates orders with regards to child support. He doesn’t pay what Michigan’s standards are, although my daughter and I resided in Michigan. He pays according to Indiana’s formulations which are considerably lower. Our child was no longer a baby, and the cost of her daily upkeep had increased over the past 7 years.
I received a call from him days later confronting me about requesting the review. When I told him that indeed, I requested the review, it changed everything. Our friendship turned a corner, and paybacks came in the form of a change of custody motion on June 25, 2008.
An order for mediation was entered. This is a “service” that is provided under the umbrella of the Friend of the Court. This mediator is not bound by family law standards and is absolved from possible lawsuits that could result from their recommendations….right, wrong, or indifferent. In other words, if your mediator is incompetent (to put it nicely), you can not file a claim against him/her as a result. They are untouchable. How convenient.
Of the 12 factors, in a truthful and transparent world, I would be favored solely on 8 factors and we would equally share 4 factors. The only way it would be possible for us to share on 4 factors was a direct result of my conviction that my daughter and her father would need to spend more time together than what the court was ordering. A normal parent/child bond would have been impossible with one weekend per month (that was the courts order).
Unfortunately, this isn’t a truthful and transparent world. It is a world sadly full of selfish, unaware, scathing people (and many of them are in politics).
My thoughts going in to mediation, was that she (the mediator) would instantly see that the plaintiffs testimony was far-fetched. I had confidence that the mediator would be intelligent, would have an eye and ear for inconsistencies, and could be able to accurately decipher between truth and untruth.
Moreover, as it is a part of my way of communicating, I never thought twice about using metaphors, analogies, or directives. Intelligent discussion about the facts regarding my relationship with both my daughter and her father were botched entirely in the written recommendation drawn by the mediator.
An example of 1 of the countless severely skewed pieces of conversation is as follows:
I was sharing with the mediator how out of my 4 children, each of them has very different personalities….same parent….4 different personalities. I grabbed this analogy I am about to share from a motivational leadership speaker. The talk this speaker gave was titled “Buffalo’s and Butterflies”. I said to the mediator, “I have 4 children. I can best describe them this way: 2 are butterflies….happy, bouncy, and fluttery. I also have a mosquito….this little guy is always attached to me, either on my hip or on my lap. Then, I have my buffalo. She has a strong will, is hard to budge once her mind is made up, and is sometimes just plain stubborn”.
What I said and the context in which I said it was not conveyed the same way in the recommendation. The mediator writes this on the final recommendation: “This mother refers to her child as a bull!”
That’s it. Would you say she accurately relayed my statement?
Here is another account:
I was asked why I might be opposed to my daughter living with her father. Because there is not just a single answer to that question, one of my reasons was: “My daughter is an extremely bright child. She is getting her education from one of the top schools in the state. The children are tested in to the school and it is a school dedicated to creative arts and academic giftedness. My daughter is surrounded each day by cultural diversity, and higher learning. These children are positioned to attend any university in the country. My daughter has the potential to be a brain surgeon. In the Amish community her father lives in, the percentages of people completing grade school are numbered. If they do graduate, they go on to work in the local trailer factories, farms, or grocers. My daughter can be so much more than that. Her father, grandfather, and great-grandfather all worked for the family excavating business. Her education here will help to position her for a life more successful than the one I had.
This is what the mediator wrote in the recommendation: “This mother’s reason for not wanting her child to live in Indiana is because she said her daughter will grow up to be nothing more than a grocery store clerk if she lives with her dad”. She left out all of the other reasons I gave, such as that she has 3 younger siblings in the home….how might it change their lives to no longer have their sister with them?
Here is another:
In an attempt to defend myself from hurtful and untruthful allegations of promiscuity, I shared with the mediator that I have only had a handful of relationships, each were deeply meaningful. I told her that at least I knew the names of people I shared my bed with, whereas my daughter’s father did not. He lost his virginity in a different country whilst in a drunken stupor. He didn’t know the girl…not even her name. Following our daughter’s birth, he frequented the gentleman’s clubs and paid for sexual pleasures.
This is how the mediator worded it in her recommendation: “The minor child’s mother said knew the names of the men she laid with”. Nothing further was written regarding this conversation. This bit of conversation was placed in the recommendation under the moral fitness of the parents factor. He was favored on this factor. Also, while in court, the father’s attorney asked me: “you told the mediator that you knew the names of the men you laid with?”. Then she gave this little conniving laugh and used body language intended to intimidate. It still makes my skin crawl to this day. I said, “yes, but”…..then she interrupted and said: “It was a yes or know answer”. I was not allowed to finish.
There are more…many, many more accounts of poor and inaccurate note taking. Most of my testimony was not reflected in the final recommendation. It is my belief that the mediator had her mind made up within minutes of our introduction.
Rewinding to the first day of interviewing: I wasn’t prepared for the 4 hour long bash-fest I was about to embark upon when I entered the mediators office along with my daughters father. I thought that the mediator would systematically discuss each factor with us and allow us each a turn to share our side. That is not what happened. No sooner did she explain her protocol and the bantering began. This man had been well-rehearsed by his attorney on what to say and when to say it. I on the other hand was not. My attorney advised me to be honest and transparent.
It became evident nearly immediately that he had been practicing his every word. He also knew exactly everything the mediator was going to ask. As a matter of fact, he answered everything before it was asked, right down the line. He came up for air after 4 hours.
All I could manage was frequent protests. I could not get a word in edgewise, nor was I given the opportunity to. He was assailing blame and resentment, of which nothing had a speck of truth. The mediator wrote down everything he was saying, and it carried over in to the final recommendation. She did not and could not verify anything he was alleging, because none of it had truth.
My thoughts were literally spinning in my head. Where did this all come from? How did he come up with it? Wait, some of these characteristics are his, not mine, but he’s blaming me? This must be a very bad dream! He laid out pages upon pages worth of erroneous bull crap, and now, all I was left with was the hope that this mediator would see through it.
Because we weren’t even close to finishing the interview/interrogation, another time was scheduled….this time, we went in separately. I was much more comfortable with that. When I sat with the mediator, she went through each factor with me. The interview lasted about 1 1/2 hours and during that time, she jotted down some notes only a handful of times. That alarmed me.
When my ex was being interviewed alone, it gave him the opportunity to pull more awful allegations about me out of his magical bag. This time without my protests.
I will tell you, my feelings about him took a fast U-turn. This is a person who praised me as an individual and as a parent over the past 7 years, a person who called me on almost a daily basis just to chat, a person who I re-opened my heart back up to as a friend and opened my home up to on weekends he came to pick up our daughter but the roads were too bad to travel on, a person who called me his best friend.
I realized that he was either a person who was wearing a facade all those years, planning all along to make this move, or it was the sudden new relationship and engagement he was in that triggered this. It is really something to witness…selfishness that is. We all have it, but for some, it goes through a sort of metamorphosis. When you give selfishness wings, it can and will go anywhere. It will plow down anything and everything that gets in its way and it won’t look back, because it doesn’t have a conscience.
I knew based on the final recommendation that he continued during his private interview to throw some additional fictitious details out there for the record.
In the end, the non-custodial father was in favor on all 12 factors. The Saginaw County Friend of the Court Mediator didn’t favor me on a single one. His testimony became the “hard evidence” needed to gain sole physical custody.
During the final court hearing, my attorney blasted holes through the plaintiff’s testimony and she devalued the mediator’s recommendation by means of witnesses and hard documentation. The school principal and teachers were witnesses, my husband, and my mother. My attorney pointed out one inconsistency after the other. She went through each factor, line-by-line and anyone with even a pea-sized brain would conclude that the allegations lacked evidence, some were even humorously ridiculous, and the recommendation made by the friend of the court mediator was void of evidence and was drawn purely from one-sided hearsay.
I lost custody of my daughter that day. My children lost their sister. The same leniency and generosity I afforded her dad all those years was not afforded to me (with every other weekend visits, extended summer breaks, and sharing all school breaks). The judge was a breath away from revoking my joint legal custody rights and verbalized this in the final seconds of his judgment.
It’s been 10 months since custody was lost. Our lives have changed so much, and so has my daughters. Everything single thing that favored her father by the mediator either never existed or existed only for a moment, long enough to get it on the record. I was awarded one weekend per calendar month. I am responsible to drive to Indiana to pick her up on that Friday and we get home at around 8 pm. We have all of Saturday to reconnect, and then she’s whisked away early Sunday afternoon. I don’t get to see her at all for the remaining 2009 holidays, nor for the first half of 2010 holidays. We live 156 miles apart, and in Michigan, if parties live more than 150 miles apart, they by default are granted only 1 visit per month (over a weekend). While the judge knew I let him have every-other-weekend visits with our daughter, he did not feel impelled or kind enough to afford me the same.
She is being raised by her single father whose engagement was called off shortly after the custody was changed. His relationship fell apart completely and his fiance and her young child moved out. My daughter who is now 10 doesn’t have a maternal influence on a daily basis, just 1 1/2 days per month. No one to sit down with to discuss “girl things”, no mumma to play with her hair, or tuck her in snug-as-a-bug-in-a-rug at night, no mumma to have “spa nights” with (this is when we get out all of our beauty goodies and do makeovers and pedicures). Daughters need their mother’s. Forty-eight hours per month is abusive and does not aid in embracing a mother/daughter bond. It is not even close to being enough time!
If I had to do it all over again, I wouldn’t change a thing…..except I would have brought a voice recorder to the Mediation interview. It should be required by state law that the testimony given at mediation be audio taped.
I have learned a lesson that has perhaps hardened me, but has also been a huge eye-opener:
Transparency, truth, and integrity doesn’t always prevail. Sometimes it takes being dirty and cunning to get to the top. For me, I lost something irreplaceable and precious….but, I didn’t lose my integrity.
Nothing ever became of the request for child support review in late April 2008 that stemmed his move for custody in June 2008. When I contacted the child support division in Indiana on numerous occasions prior to losing custody, they would tell me that they haven’t reviewed the case yet. I called right up until the day I lost my daughter. After the change of custody was ordered, I received a letter from their office stating that because custody has changed, there would be no need for review.
A Curious Mother’s Day Story
SALOME and HERODIAS,
A CURIOUS MOTHER’S DAY STORY©
Reprinted with permission from The Perspicacious Woman OnLine©
April, 2003 issue, Volume 3:Number 2
Publisher, The Daisy Shop, women’s couture resale
http://www.daisyshop.com
Barbara Nell
First, a disclaimer:
This article requires information about John the Baptist, whose life and works and words are holy, divinely inspired, to Christians. The sources I’ve accessed are religious, historical, literary, exegetic, and anecdotal. In order to avoid disrespect for the sacredness of the words and concepts with which Christians hold The Gospels and with which Jews hold The Torah, I’ve renamed both ‘translated redactions.’ I also use the euphemism, monotheistic god, to avoid any disrespect to any deity and religion. This is an essay designed to entertain and inform you, Dear Reader, not to cause any religious discussion or foment.
Second, a thank you:
To friend Pam and friend Vanessa, both of whom got my research juices going on Salome, whom, I believed, was trivial, too trivial even for our newsletter. It boiled down to “Who did she do the belly dance for?” I hadn’t a clue, because I didn’t think she was real. They both assured me she was a real person. I checked it out. Yup, she was real and…
…she may have danced or may not have danced. But, if she did dance, it wasn’t a belly dance that she did, nor was it a tap, the tango, or the quick step. The belly dance aspect was imagined in the late 19th century by some artistic guy, and we’ll get there, later, when it’s timely. She did perform, that much is true, and she performed for the host, her stepfather, at the instigation of the hostess, her mother, and their banquet guests.
It was an entertainment interlude, and it occurred about the 1st century AD in a castle located in area called The Galilee. She may have performed in a play about some Greek mythological character or she may have been the one non-Bedouin ( a guest) in a troop of Bedouin entertainers who did folk dances that non-Bedouins enjoyed seeing. If it was the former, the structure of the play was rigid: it was a pantomime, with stringed instrumentals to keep the story line going, mime actors of both genders, all adults, and young children acrobatics of both genders. Everyone was masked. This was a troop of professional entertainers on the payroll of biggies, not a traveling group (a type not yet invented). They were probably on the payroll of her stepfather and she had time to practice with them before the banquet.
If it was the latter, it was a dance, one with a lot of whirling and head tossing, by females in heavy blue robes with cowls, and there was a flute accompaniment. The company did not live in The Galilee, but were nomads from the desert between The Galilee and Arabia, who had come by request of the biggie. It is unlikely that Bedouin dancers were involved in this banquet, for they had to walk a fine line in their desert migrations, land that abutted both The Galilee and Arabia at that time There was bad blood between Aretas IV King of Arabia and Antipas, stepfather of Salome, Tetrarch of The Galilee, the place where the banquet and the entertainment took place and the place where Salome lived. And, Salome would not have had time to practice the whirling and head tossing before the banquet.
So, it was a Roman style play about Greek mythology that was probably performed as the intermediate event between courses or the closing event of a posh banquet. The host, her stepfather, was a Herod we’ll call Antipas, (not as high as a King) and the hostess, her mother, was named Herodias (a former Queen, divorced from her 1st husband, Phillip, a King, and now married to a mere Tetrarch, making her a Tetrarchess, I guess). These were minor players in the times’ political stage and the definition of ‘posh’ was relative to their stature…minor. The guest list contained: nobles visiting from Rome, Roman nobles stationed in The Galilee by Rome, aristocrats from The Galilee and maybe Judea, and Antipas’ Steward, Chuza. Some sources say the banquet was thrown by Herodias because it was Antipas’ birthday, an unnecessary embellishment, to my way of thinking. Most sources are silent about the reason for the banquet, so I tend to go with most when it’s a fact such as this kind.
Any banquet takes preparation, whether you’re a Queen, a Tetrarchess, or merely the wife of a mope. So, along with the timing, guest list, menu, food preparation, and seating plan, Herodias prepared for the entertainment. She had to decide that Salome’s participation in the entertainment would be the thing to do long before the banquet took place. Herodias is described as a savvy kind of gal by the benign tellers of the tale (she’s vilified by most) and Salome was her only child (by Phillip), so she probably made time to watch Salome rehearse. A lot was riding on Salome being real real good. Nothing anywhere says whether Salome wanted to be a part of the entertainment or was unwilling to be a part of the entertainment.
Herodias planned a staid, Roman affair. It could not have been a bacchanal type banquet (similar to the present Wild On’s on E!), as some sources suggest. There were stringent Roman rules about highborn women and what they can attend and do in while in attendance. Herodias was high born and from Judea. (Antipas, her second husband, was not as high born, coming from an Idumean father and possibly a Samarian mother.)
Salome was just a kid at the time of the banquet. Some sources say she was a teenager, but they have to in order for other parts of the legend to fit. (We’ll get to the other parts later.) I doubt if she was a nubile teenager. She was royalty, a Princess, in fact, with very good blood on her mother’s side, Maccabean blood, which was respected even by Rome, who, by the way, had conquered Judea (and The Galilee) long before this time and made this area a part of their Empire. Modesty and chastity were required for this type female from a Roman standpoint and a Maccabean standpoint (her bloodline was matriarchal). She had to be dutiful, respectful, and learn at her mother’s knee, an important custom amongst the Maccabean women. She was a good kid. So, she couldn’t have been a teenager and allowed to perform. It would diminish her future value in the marriage market, Roman or otherwise, and it would have been a sin. I would opine she had to be less than Nadia Comaneci’s age when she blew away the Olympic judges in 1976, but she was probably just as agile.
It’s probable that Herodias recognized her daughter’s agility long before the banquet, for kids have a tendency to display what they’re good at long before there’s a use for the tendency. It could have been a genetic throwback to the time before the Maccabees were promoted to highborn, the time when the men were just about the best guerilla fighters in Judea and found the mountainous regions around Judea excellent terrain to entice their foes into combat. She was probably proud of this tendency and tedious of this tendency (“Watch me, Momma,” once too often can be tedious.) and savvy enough to see a utilization for her own good. This also pre-supposes that Herodias might have had more contact in Salome’s upbringing than Roman highborn mothers, for Maccabean women were responsible for (both gender) children to ‘learn at their knee’ a minimum of 613 rules the monotheistic god required of adherents, or that there was a lot of contact between highborn mothers and their daughters at that time. In either case, Herodias planned the banquet and the entertainment and included her agile daughter in the entertainment, making sure Salome rehearsed and would do a good job in the acrobatic kid part of the troop…a multi-tasking woman for sure.
Protocol at posh and formal banquets where Roman mucky mucks were invited was stringent. This would have been very important to Antipas, also. He had been raised in Rome (maybe even a hostage child) and the land he administered at the time of the banquet had been bequeathed to him by Rome. Augustus (of the Cleopatra story) had handled the apportioning of Antipas’ father’s enormous estate when he, known as Herod the Great, died. Antipas was not happy with the way Poppa’s estate was apportioned, felt he had gotten the short stick amongst his four brothers. (He had.) He would have been very, very Roman at this Roman banquet in order to make nice and have this get back to Rome.
The men would have reclined on the equivalent of 1st century Barco-Loungers and ate lovely things and drank lovely wine moderately, while trading amusing stories and quips and bantering amongst each other. I’m not sure just what bantering is, but I am sure they bantered. They would have been arranged in a horseshoe U pattern. The women guests and their hostess would have sat on chairs and I couldn’t figure out where the chairs were placed, within the horseshoe in a line or outside the horseshoe in a line. But in any case, they would have sat on fancy, but hard backed, chairs in a line and would not have eaten or drunken wine, but I suggest they may have bantered. Their job was to just sit, all gussied up and smellin’ good. (They would eat and drink, later, when they got home or when the guests left, depending on your perspective.)
Salome could not have been invited. If she had been invited, she would have left her fancy, hard-backed chair vacant in order to get into costume and perform. Antipas would have noticed the empty chair and have asked someone, “Where did the kid go?” And, someone would have said, “She’s going to perform.” That would have taken the drama out of this next part of the story. Let’s agree; she was not invited to the banquet.
At the proper time, the play was performed, and the audience clapped after it was over. Antipas complimented the performers, then singled one out. Because it was Salome that was singled out, I believe she was one of the masked acrobats. It only makes sense. Antipas apparently didn’t recognize the stepdaughter he had raised since infancy as the excellent acrobat in the play. Rather, he thought her one of the professionals, for if he had recognized her, he wouldn’t have offered the gift
eward. He just would have said, “Good job, sweetie. Go get washed. You’ll catch cold.” Therefore, because he didn’t recognize her, he made a magnanimous gesture (It’s not unlikely that he was showing off for the guests, for Antipas was a doodle-head, didn’t think things through. We’ll get to that, later.), and he offered the acrobat-Salome anything she desired as a gift from him for her fine performance. This is exactly what Herodias had planned to happen. She knew her guy pretty well and she knew her little girl real well. The benign tellers were right: she was a savvy gal.
Since all sources attribute what comes next as engendered by Herodias, the acrobat-Salome had to have asked him to wait a minute and had to have gone to the chair line, where her mother and the other women were sitting, otherwise Herodias would not have been associated with what comes next. (It would have been only Salome who would have been associated with what comes next.). So, the mother and daughter had to have conferred quietly, while Antipas (and the guests) watched. Perhaps, Salome said, “Euwww,” as kids do when they hear something revolting; or perhaps, not. She was a 1st century kid and they may have been different from 21st century kids. I think not. Kids are kids. She said “Euwww.” Dutifully, she listened closely to what her mother told her and she probably repeated it back to Herodias, so that she got it right and straight. Then, she, the acrobat-Salome, came back to Antipas with the gift idea: the head of the long time prisoner John (who later became John the Baptist, but who was merely the prisoner John at this time) on a platter (which was probably not a platter, but a charger).
It’s possible that he recognized Salome at this point. It doesn’t really matter. I do know he knew he had been set up by his wife, Herodias, via this acrobat-Salome, when he heard the performance reward. And he was startled and embarrassed and in a public quandary. It’s possible he questioned the acrobat-Salome with an ‘are you kidding? kind of question, while looking in Herodias’ direction, who either shrugged her shoulders or nodded ‘yes.’ From a legal standpoint, he did not have to honor this acrobat-Salome’s request, for it wasn’t hers. It was Herodias.’ It is possible that Chuza, his Steward, jumped in at this point, for he had been financing John’s nascent ministry through his wife, Elizabeth, but it’s just as possible, he did not, for that’s not how it went down.
Everyone at the banquet knew there had been a big mad between Herodias and Antipas regarding John for a long, long time. She had wanted him killed outright for talking often and badly about her and her marriage to Antipas to everyone and anyone who would listen to him. John had labeled it incestuous and it was, kind of, but by only a technicality, the small print in a big, long contract. Herodias’ first husband, the Herod we’re calling Phillip, was Antipas’ half brother. They shared the same father, Herod The Great, but had different mothers. Phillip was still living in Judea where he was King (Rome gave him a large portion of his father’s estate, larger than Antipas..) and as long as Phillip lived, Herodias and Antipas had an incestuous marriage. As soon as he died, it would be an okay marriage. But, he hadn’t died, yet.
Although it was the gossip that bothered Herodias (A good spin doctor would have helped, but they were 2000 years down the road in development.), it was the religious twist John put on the technical incest that bothered Antipas. John attributed all the stuff that had gone wrong in The Galilee since they married (and stuff had gone wrong, for Antipas was a doodle-head) to the marriage. And, John said that the monotheistic god was angry with her, more than Antipas, because of her good Maccabean blood (a mix of Idumean and Samarian blood results in a person that the monotheistic god doesn’t expect much from), and would stay angry with her and get more so, so the anger would spill over to the whole of The Galilee, until she and Antipas split (or, I guess, until Phillip died, a factor that was out of her hands).
People listened to that kind of stuff at that time and in that place and they got real scared. A monotheistic god’s anger was a terrible thing. Famine, drought, disease, pestilence, flood, invasion, even eclipse – anything could happen when a monotheistic god was angry. While there hadn’t been famine, drought, disease, pestilence, flood, invasion, or even an eclipse in The Galilee, Antipas had lost a war, his first, with Nabatea, their neighbor in Arabia.
Herodias could have been a vulnerable position should important people have listened to John’s predictions. Luckily for her, the important people had other things on their mind. Antipas said ‘no’ to killing John and ‘yes’ to imprisoning him, believing that would shut John up. Some sources said Antipas had a feeling that John’s predictions were true; others said he had a feel for the monotheistic deity. Still others say he was merely acting like a political animal, notably, a fox. At any rate, John was not killed, but imprisoned, and he had been languishing in the prison for many years at the time of the banquet.
Now, killing a local prisoner was no big deal anywhere in the 1st century world of the Roman Empire and having a prisoner killed to reward an agile acrobat was stretching the reward idea, but… it could work. The thing is that the head on a plattercharger was the note that made it a bigger deal. This touch was a gruesome, certainly barbaric, dramatic thing and would cause a scandal and gossip all over Judea and in Rome, what Antipas did not need if he were to ever get any more land from his dead father’s estate from Rome. (And it did, for Flavius Josephus in his book, “Antiquities,” writing to and for Rome about 100 years after the event ,included the event for it was still so juicy. This, by the way, is how we know about some parts of it.) (An important question occurs to me and that is this: How and where did Herodias get this notion? Two ideas come to mind: (1) the Greek myth of Perseus and Medusa and their fight to death: Perseus won. He decapitated Medusa and waved her head around and took it a bunch of places as a talisman. It must have been awful after a time. Maybe that’s where she got it, for she was well educated. (2) A similar event took place in Rome 50 years earlier: Pemejus, a political competitor to Julius, lost his political battle, and his foes brought Julius, the winning Caesar, his head. She might have heard this gossip. Perhaps, she then pragmatically adapted decapitation to the situation at hand. Beheading was a popular type of death and an honorable type of execution for criminals and warriors amongst the Romans and the Maccabees and the Arabians. This, I discovered, from plunking around on the Internet to some very weird websites. I don’t recommend you check this out for yourself. Truthfully, I cannot imagine where she got this embellishment. One of these weird websites calls her talented.)
The doodle-head complied.
A messenger was sent to the fortress named Macharerus (now called Mukawir) in an area called The Perea (now part of Amman, Jordan) where John was imprisoned. A nameless guard cut off his head, and got a messenger to convey it to the castle somewhere in The Galilee, where the banquet guests were waiting, the males still bantering with one another, I guess, to pass the time; the females still sitting quietly on their hard chairs, smellin’ good. The acrobat-Salome probably went off somewhere to bathe and change clothes, then returned to the banquet room to stand next to her (talented) Momma or stand with the performers. The guards put the headless body somewhere, waited for further orders.
I couldn’t find out how far away the area The Parea was from The Galilee, for I couldn’t pin down exactly what city the castle was located in the area known as The Galilee, then, the area where the banquet occurred. Let’s believe it wasn’t terribly far, so the messenger conveying the head could get from there to there quick. He arrived and a kitchen servant brought a plattercharger (No one knows if it was a platter made out of silver, gold, porcelain, or stoneware. In fact, no one cared. Furthermore, it may not have been a platter, but a charger, which is larger than a plate and smaller than a platter and rested under a plate at a table service and was often of precious metal. Since it’s a Roman banquet, people took morsels of this and that from servant-held chargers, didn’t have a table service at all. They were reclining.) Another servant, a serving type, brought the head to the banquet hall and stood in front of Antipas. It’s possible he directed the servant to acrobat-Salome, who took the plattercharger and gave it to her Mother. One redactor source makes Herodias even more gruesome stating: she got a sword and stabbed the tongue. This is an embellishment that even Flavius Josephus didn’t believe, so he doesn’t mention it. What she really did with it, I don’t know. (People who thought John had a direct line to the monotheistic god requested his body and his head from Antipas, who released both parts to them. They took it to an area called Samaria, which was close to The Perea, and buried it.)
What happened after this part of the banquet took place, I don’t know. I imagine some guy yawned and said, “It’s been quite an evening. I think it’s time to get going.” And the guests all went to their lodgings. It’s probable that Antipas and Herodias had a long conversation, after the guests left. When they were alone in their private rooms, he probably opened the conversation with: “We never talk anymore, Herodias. Tell me what’s going on with you.” Salome, who had been up long past her normal bedtime, was probably overtired and went to sleep or was put to sleep immediately.
And there you have it. Salome didn’t dance, didn’t wear veils, and had a strong bond with her Mother.
To discover how the belly dance became associated with Salome, we have to veer away from her. It’s Herodias and John who carry the story line forward.
At the time of the banquet, Herodias was the 2nd wife of Antipas, and they had been married for about 10 years. (Antipas was the only father Salome had known.) Salome’s biological father was Phillip, who was King of Judea, a large land mass, much larger than the area called The Galilee, and he and Herodias were divorced when Salome was about 1 year old. Herodias had been an important wife when Phillip was first made King by Rome because of her Maccabean blood. The Maccabees had been rulers of Judea long before Phillip came on board, but through a lot of circumstances, Judea was ruled by the Herod bunch and had accepted Rome’s yoke by that time. The Maccabees were prolific (as was Herod The Great), and there was a large pool of eligible Maccabean women for rulers to marry. It was a stable region in Rome’s empire. In any event, the divorce was with Rome’s permission. Phillip was allowed to marry some one else with Rome’s permission, and I didn’t check out whom. He never asked for visitation rights.
Some sources say Antipas first met Herodias when Herodias was on a trip to Rome with Phillip petitioning Rome for something or another at the same time that Antipas was in Rome (alone) petitioning Rome, yet again, for the title of King and more land from his father’s estate, neither of which Rome never granted him in his lifetime. I don’t think it matters how they met. They met, they talked, a deal was struck.
I don’t know why Herodias left Queenship of Judea to become a Tetrarch’s wife. There are always sources that attribute lust to this sort of situation, and these sources do arise in this story, some attributing lust to Herodias, others attributing lust to Antipas. Personally, I find lust a poor reason. A Queen, one of royal blood, just doesn’t think lust. She thinks power and lineage. A tetrarch, although not as powerful as a King, doesn’t have to go far from his little castle, even as far as Judea, to satisfy a lustful thought. An unhappy Tetrarch thinks power and lineage, too. Maybe it was her Maccabean blood and her Maccabean ties that Antipas thought would help him become a King of a landmass that included Judea, which her ancestors ruled before Rome put the Herods there. Maybe she thought The Galilee plus Judea is bigger than just Judea. Maybe she thought that The Galilee plus Arabia, which abutted The Galilee, is bigger than Judea should Antipas go to war for the Arabian territory. In any event, she left Phillip before the divorce (which came through quickly) and went to Antipas’ puny area, The Galilee.
She also jumped the gun. Antipas was not yet rid of his first wife, Phasaelis, when Herodias and the baby arrived. And, he hadn’t petitioned Rome to get rid of Phasaelis and marry Herodias. Although Phasaelis was a Princess by blood and the daughter of a powerful neighbor and King, Aretas IV of Nabatea (Arabia), Antipas decided to circumvent Rome by merely ‘putting her aside,’ an ignominy. This was not nice. Phasaelis went home to Poppa (and took the kids, if there were any with her and Antipas) who bided his time a bit, then attacked The Galilee, because of the dishonor.
Troops from all of Herod the Great’s sons (half-brothers to a man) jumped in to help The Galilean troops, even Phillip (inherited family land was a big thing; a former wife was nothing) and Roman legions jumped in to help, too. But land was lost and that, by definition, means The Galileans lost the war. He never did divorce Phasaelis and she never returned to him.
Herodias stayed put and she and Antipas married (with Rome’s permission, whose attitude toward provinces was very pragmatic: the war is over; they lost; let ‘em marry; who gives a damn) and lived in a castle somewhere in The Galilee with the baby.
Antipas’ reputation went from an annoying pest to miserable in Rome’s eyes because of this double screw up (stupidly and unnecessarily dishonoring a neighbor’s daughter thereby incurring an unnecessary troop expense on Rome’s tab and loosing land to a King who was not conquered by Rome). He decided to Make It Better. Tiberius was now the Caesar and Antipas decided to build a city to honor him. He commandeered land in The Galilee and his construction people began building a city. But, Antipas and his building contractors either didn’t do their homework, or if they did, they didn’t think it through. The land upon which the city was being built was a cemetery, sacred ground to every person in the world then as well as today. There was an uprising amongst the folk that local troops could not quell. Again, Rome had to help Antipas out, for Judea wouldn’t, since they sided with the people, not Antipas. The people were quelled and the city was built. It remained uninhabited. No one would go there to live no matter how sweet the pot Antipas created (free homes, free land, tax abatement). Rome had to send troops to forcibly move families to Tiberius and to guard them so they wouldn’t move out in the dark of the night. Flavius Josephus liked this morsel a lot when he heard of it. He checked around and then comments that riff-raff were recruited to populate the city. He observes that even the riff-raff were afraid of the monotheistic god, so local holy people made a rule: the new settlers would only be defiled for 7 days, then everything would be okay.
And life went on in The Galilee.
John, during some of this, had been going about his business in The Galilee. One particular thing he did caught on amongst the folk. No one knew what to call it, so it had two different names: sprinkling and lave-ing, both of which were already accepted cleansing rites in most, if not all, religions before that time and during that time in that area and most of the known world. Water was always the cleansing agent and John
used the nearby Jordan River as the sprinkling and lave-ing site. What John did was total body immersion, a new twist, one the people liked a lot, for it made sense to them and made them feel good and purified from sins committed previously. This total body immersion always occurred after John would talk about sinning and give definitions. He would call for penitents, people who wanted to cleanse themselves. They would step forward and get in a line, so he could do them one-by-one. He had set himself up as a person who knew what the monotheistic deity expected of good folk (mostly it was to stop acting like Romans and revert to the Galilean ways, the ones prevalent before Rome took over the area). While he was in prison and after his death, other people did the immersion for him. What he had said before he was imprisoned was credible to the folk.
But then, John was imprisoned and killed years after he was imprisoned.
Very soon a very lot of other things happened in The Galilee. These events were written down and pondered and interpreted by brilliant, eloquent, and sincere men, three of whom decided that John and what he said and his immersion twist was a ceremony that would be important to incorporate as a ritual for their testimonials. They were the redactors whose words have been translated and pondered for centuries. Their decision caused his death to be discussed (and his childhood, parents, vocation, inspiration, relationships, etc. to be determined) and this is how Herodias’ name was never forgotten.
The earliest redactor, a stickler for details, had a problem with her daughter’s name, when he read Flavius Josephus, who says ‘a damsel, the daughter of Herodias, brought the head…’ in his book to Rome. This was not good enough for him. He did some easy homework, for Herodias’ royal lineage was known and available. He determined that Herodias’ daughter was named Salome. This was not good homework. Herodias was Maccabean. No Maccabee, male or female, would ever name a child for a still living person, let alone the actual name of a relative, this case, a blood aunt, who was living at the time of her daughter’s birth. But, it’s all we have, so she must remain misnamed Salome (which means ‘peace,’ a nice touch, don’t you think?) when John’s beheading is talked about and when Herodias’ progeny is included.
And this is how Salome and Herodias and John were tied together forever more. Many centuries have to pass by before the triangle comes into focus again. We have to wait for society to go from antiquity all the way to modern…at least 1,970 years or so. More specifically, we have to wait for a religion to formalize; we have to wait until John’s contributions become important and incorporated; we have to wait for churches to be invented; we have to wait for representational art to be used for something other than decorative purposes; we have to allow for the Bubonic Plague interlude when absolutely nothing happened except the death of millions; we have to wait for literacy to occur; we have to wait for Gutenberg and his printing press; we have to wait for portraiture to be invented.
Once churches were invented, representational art was applied as a method to tell the stories to the illiterate devout people. The triangle story was not as popular as other stories, so it was represented only some times. The scene chosen was most always was when the plattercharger is proffered takes place. No one character of the triangle is more important that the other. It’s the story behind the scene that’s important, and that is John’s death (but not as a martyr, I don’t think, but I may be wrong). Typical friezes and frescos from churches in the early 14th show the scene with figures that are medieval in demeanor and costume. That’s what the medieval people needed; that’s what they got. Their eyes could roam the church for something to center on, if their attention drifted from the devotions at hand.
Everything gets pretty quiet everywhere, beginning 1330, when the first Bubonic Plague episode begins and we have to wait a long time, about 150 years, for normalcy to occur.
In 1485, the beheading surfaces. Portraiture had been invented by then, and art has gone into homes of wealthy people, who ask artists to do pictures for them, often of them and their family members. One type of portraiture allowed the viewer to be a voyeur, to glimpse an intimate scene, a freeze frame, if you will, from a larger story, if the artist was good. Religious art was a popular theme. The artist selected the motif and there was a lot of symbolism to get the whole story line into the canvas. It’s Salome and the plattercharger that’s chosen, when this subject is chosen at all, and truth be told, it’s lousy, static portraiture. She’s not portrayed as a child, but she’s not portrayed as a woman, either. “Damsel,” was apparently interpreted as that twilight zone a female has between childhood and woman. I don’t know why the subject matter was chosen by the patron or the artist, who apparently just couldn’t get into ‘it.’ I guess my opinion was shared by the patrons from 500+ years back, for this theme dies out.
John and his sainthood, not his death or Herodias or Salome, become the theme of most art, and we have to wait until 1630 to find the others of the triangle depicted again.
In 1630, a blockbuster piece of art is produced (my opinion) that asks you to consider Herodias, not John. It’s my absolute favorite, by a guy named Francesco del Cairo, “Herodias with Head of John the Baptist.” It is so different from all others than came before (and after). Is she exhausted, meditative, musing, or in a trance? A closer look might surprise you. Could she possibly be holding his tongue while on the verge of stroking his hair? I believe she is. What could del Cairo have been thinking? What is he asking us to believe about Herodias? Frankly, I don’t wanna go there. No one else did either, for depictions of Herodias (and Salome) simply stop until the 1800′s and John in his sainthood continue…with one exception.
Because of a single painting of Herodias by Paul Delaroche in 1843, it’s the literary arts, the poets and authors and playwrights, who pick up the story and fiction supercedes reality. Herodias, first, and Salome, next, sans John, are the motifs for the first time. They move from real people to fictional characters.
Delaroche shows Herodias as exotic (read, non-European) (The euphemism used for most any type non-European at that time was Occidental.), regal (He did his homework.), authentically dressed (more good homework), and very, very lovely. The look on her face is open to interpretation. Has the grotesque event occurred or not yet? Is she serene or is she challenging us to question her? I don’t know who is represented in the background, for it certainly cannot be Salome. Herodias is a person in her own right. I would like to tie Delaroche’s interpretation to having viewed del Cairo (although I don’t know if this occurred, not having the resources to track the provenance of the del Cairo picture to align its location with Delaroche’s life).
Apparently Heinrich Heine, a German poet of some renown, was enchanted by the picture. He wrote a poem in 1843, “Atta Troll,” which sources say is a mock epic about Herodias. I was unable to find an English translation, so I have to accept what sources say as true. What I do know is that an epic is a very long and twisted story (the Iliad and the Odyssey are epics) about fanciful adventures of a protagonist (usually heroic) in pursuit of good end. How Heine got enough ideas about Herodias, who was minor in the first place and arcane by this time, to go on and on about her pursuit of an end, good or not good, I don’t know. I guess that’s called talent. In any event, he catapults Herodias (and the triangle) back into the minds of artistic people and they make her (and the triangle) interesting enough for public contemplation.
This mock epic and Delaroche’s painting next enchanted Stephane Mallarme, another poet of some renown, a Frenchman. He got his juices flowing and wrote a poem in 1869, “Herodiade,” whose English translation I was unable to find. I have absolutely no idea what his poem says. Critics say she described sultry (for the first time). I have to believe that Mallarme associated Occidental with sultry, not an uncommon association amongst fanciful European guys. Herodias is changing to heroic (maybe if Heine’s epic shows her to be this), Occidental, and sultry (read sexy).
All this got a French artist (of some renown) all excited. Gustave Moreau pondered the triangle and centered on Salome, instead of Herodias. He figured if Herodias was sultry, then Salome was more sultry. I don’t know why, but that’s what he did. He worked and worked this theme and ended up with a bunch of pictures with her as the (undressed) focal point, a first in Salome’s depictions, and threw in John’s head to make it all understandable. They were finished in 1876. All are amazing. The very last time Salome was the chosen subject matter was in 16th century (bad) portraiture. She’s always holding the plattercharger and has a boring look on her face and is all dressed up in 16th century costume. What the hell did Heine’s mock epic and Mallarme’s poem allude to with regard to Salome? I don’t know.
Anyway, Gustave Flaubert, a French writer of some renown, apparently read Heine and Mallarme and saw the picture interpretations of Delaroche and Moreau. All inspired him to write a short story in 1877 about Herodias, which indicates excellent homework, by the way. This, I read, and in this short story, she is called a Jezebel, albeit an aging one, for the first time. Her daughter is described as resembling her mother in her youth. You can read it, too. Go to http://www.classicbookshelf.com/library/gustave_flaubert/herodias/0/. It’s now fictional open season on Herodias and by association, her daughter, Salome.
Then came Joris-Karl Huysman, who liked what Heine, Mallarme, and Flaubert wrote and liked Delaroche’s and Moreau’s pictures. He went with Salome, not Herodias, in 1884, for his essay, “Against the Grain.” The essay is really prose poetry in the style of “The Song of Solomon,” real, real sexy. The essay was labeled decadent after it was published. You can read it, too, if and when you get in the mood for 19th century decadence. Go to http://www.imagi-nation.com/moonstruck/salome1.html.
In the 19th century, certain people loved decadent stuff, especially the artistic types who felt stultified with conservative stuff and who felt they had to push the envelope of public taste. This decadent Salome idea percolated for ten years in Oscar Wilde’s mind before his play, “Salome,” was performed in 1893. An interesting touch was his collaboration with Aubrey Beardsley to do playbill artwork. Wilde was jailed it was so damn decadent.
Within a year after Wilde’s play, Beardsley came out with a folio of images of Salome. It’s racy for the bare breasts and belly button, but it’s also a curiously clunky, non-sexy posing of Salome. Why is her midriff covered? Why is she wearing high heeled shoes with bows at the ankle? What the hell is going on here? Mere titillation, nothing more. Shame on you, Beardsley.
Everything rested until 1905, when Richard Strauss, a German of music renown, chose Salome as his opera subject. His librettist, Hugo von Hofmannsthal, an Austrian poet of some renown, put words to the decadent musical motifs. A costume designer, whose name I could not find, turned her eastern Byzantine and gave her a harem twist and a costume of 7 veils. A choreographer had her shimmy (belly dance). In the first performance of “Salome,’ Marie Wittich, described as an ample soprano Salome, refused to do the dance or wear the costume. A nameless ballerina accommodated the scene and this became a tradition each time the opera was performed. One critic, a word wizard, called Strauss the apostle of decadence. This made the people want to see it for themselves. Strauss’ “Salome” was performed 50 times in the first two years after it was written in opera houses all over the world.
This chronicle has ended.
PS. A beheaded John, not yet a saint, is so very popular that I had to find a depiction of John with his head on. Caravaggio was quite taken with him and did a lot of versions of John with his head on.
PS. One female artist, Fra Lippinni, an Italian woman, did work on the triangle. I am disappointed with Fra. Although she chose Salome to be focal, she dressed her modestly in Medieval costume, twirling her skirts. It’s a pretty nothing picture that says more about Lippinni and her lack of inspiration and imagination (She is technically apt, I think.) than the subject matter. I think she should have tried harder to ‘get into it.’ She was a daughter once and may have been the mother of a daughter at the time the picture was painted.
A Mother’s Custody Injustice
I have never done anything like this before. I have never been in a desperate situation where I am in a soundproof bubble, and the system doesn’t hear my cries. They see me, but they pretend I am not there. This is the Michigan Family Law and Friend of the Court Division. It is our system; the one we are suppose to count on for freedom, justice, and liberty. It is my prayer that you read through to the end. Although this is my hell and my grief, this story must be heard. Please feel free to leave comments and post the story in to your blogs and various social marketing venues. It is imperative that we use our voices; otherwise, this will continue to happen to mothers who don’t deserve it. Justice needs to prevail, I must get my daughter back, and the biased officials involved in my case need to be reprimanded. This must climb up the political ladder and reach the steps of the Supreme Court. I can not get there alone.
I am a wife and mother of four amazing children. We are an American white collar, middle-class family. I am so fortunate and thankful that we own a beautiful 2,500 square foot home that backs up to the 4th green of a prestigious golf course. I wasn’t always of this status, most people aren’t. We start somewhere, and then gradually improve ourselves with the combination of time, effort & experiences. I consider myself ordinary. I, like most of you, have experienced meaningful relationships. I’ve been hurt. I’ve failed and given up on things. I’ve traveled extensively, I’ve gone to college. I am a deep thinker, a reader, and I am gentle. I love nature and respect its wrath. I am not religious, but am deeply spiritual. I am passionate about loving and caring for my children. I am always searching….searching for truth, for mindfulness, for authenticity. I am searching for the path that will ultimately be the “dash”….you know, that little mark on a gravestone that is between the day you were born and the day you passed….that’s the dash I am referring to.
I would ask, are you much the same? Probably. I am thankful that we can redeem ourselves throughout our lifetime; to make better decisions, to course-correct, and to leave a footprint that we can be proud of.
So, why am I writing about custody injustices?
On January 22, 2009, I lost custody of my 9 year old daughter; the oldest of four. I didn’t lose custody because of abuse, or because of illness, or because I was unwilling to care for her. I didn’t lose custody because of drugs or alcohol, or because of a lack of interest and participation in her social and educational needs. I didn’t lose custody because I couldn’t provide her with clothing, food, housing, or emotional support. I lost her because of an incompetent court system with which accountability to a higher court or official is unlikely. Records are so tightly sealed in the Michigan Family Court System, that the likelihood of reprimand and justice is as likely as the sky turning yellow tomorrow.
I was under the disillusionment that a mother who is unfit or unwilling to parent could lose custody of a child. I never dreamed that a mother who was competent, loving, stable, and willing could lose their child.
I solely raised my daughter and was completely alone during my pregnancy. Her father and I parted ways because he had some severe addictions to overcome and I didn’t want any part of it. When I told him about the pregnancy (which was right away), he denied responsibility. He began accusing me of being promiscuous. His parents and sister were unaware of his addictions for the most part (they knew he used drugs, but they didn’t know to what extent), and they too began to propose that the baby wasn’t his. Over the next several months, I began to look inside of myself and had to make some pretty grown-up decisions.
I finally moved back to Michigan with my family when I was 34 weeks gestation. I felt that it was the best thing I could do for myself and my unborn child. I would be in a safe, moral, and loving home, receiving unconditional support. Love and support is what I needed, and I wasn’t getting it in Indiana. My unborn child’s father was still backing out of the responsibility and I came to accept that we would be alone. I was about to embark upon “single parenthood”, a journey that would shape me in to the person I longed to be, a journey that would be so treacherous at times, it would test my endurance down to the nucleus of my being. Even so, I was ready to take it on .
I never married her father. After my daughter was born, I re-met a man I knew when I was a child and got pregnant again. I was on birth control when this happened and was devastated to be in this situation again. I married this man 7 months later, had yet another child and we divorced when our youngest was 2. If I don’t have you disgusted by now, it gets worse. I got pregnant again with someone who became the love of my life, before our divorces were final. OUCH! If you are thinking we cheated on our ex-spouses, think again. That is not why our previous marriages dissolved, but amidst our divorces, we met and became attracted to one another. I ended up marrying for the last time, and the rest is history.
Regarding my last surprise pregnancy, in my mind then and still to this day almost 6 years later, I believe that the responsible and right action to take with regards to my situation was to carry this pregnancy full term whether it was socially accepted or not. No person or court should be given the right to impose their conviction as an absolute rule if a law has not been broken. For some unreasonable single dimensional process of thought, our society so eagerly conforms to; I was labeled as immoral (by the court), years later. I haven’t done anything that everyone else isn’t doing. Hello, people have sex. Some get pregnant, others don’t. It’s the women who get pregnant that are at a disadvantage. Think about it…when you have a big balloon belly, the evidence that you engaged in sexual activities is plain and clear. If you are on effective birth control, nobody thinks about it. For a man, there is no visual indication that he is engaging in sexual activities. It is only the pregnant woman who endures the “immoral” label. Because she’s pregnant and unwed, she must be promiscuous. That, unfortunately, is the punishment our society and system have placed on women.
By the time our daughter was 18 months old, my friendship with her father was on the mend, and for the next 7 years I considered him a best friend. I put a great deal of thought into the life my child would have without her parents getting along and being supportive of one another. With all of my selfish might, I didn’t want to bite the bullet, but it wasn’t about me me me anymore. He stopped using drugs, and even stopped smoking. The court verified parentage through DNA testing (ordered by the court to begin collecting child support and recover hospital costs that Medicaid initially paid). It wasn’t until she was 2 years old that he began paying child support, and his arrears neared $3,000.00.
It was in an earlier court occurrence when our daughter was 5 months old, that he would lie under oath for the first time stating that he provided for his daughter financially, and saw her regularly. He petitioned a motion preventing me from leaving the state of Michigan with the daughter he denied was his. At this time paternity was not established, nor was a court order for parenting time and/or support entered. That didn’t happen until she was almost 2 years old. The Judge ruled in the father’s favor and I was not to move our child’s residence out of the state of Michigan.
Over the next 8 years, life continued. My family was complete, I found my lifelong partner, I ran my own successful company, and subscribed to an intense leadership development program. I coordinated and hosted charitable benefits for our local Child Abuse and Neglect Council, regularly met with and mentored with my children’s school district superintendent and principals about topics such as leadership and parenting, and was invited to be a guest speaker for career days. I am deeply involved in my children’s education and offer to volunteer at their schools. Each week, I meet with them individually over their lunch hour. These are our special “dates”.
It is not my intention to toot my own horn. I just want you to be able to gauge my involvement. While this is just from an educational standpoint, the level of involvement carries over in to every facet of their lives.
Here is where my life turned a corner:
I received notification on June 25, 2008 that the non-custodial parent petitioned the court for a change of custody. In Michigan, there are 12 factors considered in determining the “best interest of the child”. It is basically a game….whomever receives the most points wins.
I was completely blind-sided. There was as a petition before me requesting a change of custody due to abuse and a lack of financial resources. I can’t even begin to convey my shock and disbelief at this nonsense. Here was an erroneous testimony alleging that I abused my daughter physically, frequently cursed at her, would scream uncontrollably, and was unable to financially support extra-curricular activities such as gymnastics for her.
I was scratching my head, wondering if this was a cruel prank.
In April 2008 for the first time ever since a support order was entered, I requested that the court considers a review for child support. Because the father lives in Indiana, this complicates orders with regards to child support. He doesn’t pay what Michigan’s standards are, although my daughter and I resided in Michigan. He pays according to Indiana’s formulations which are considerably lower. Our child was no longer a baby, and the cost of her daily upkeep had increased over the past 7 years.
I received a call from him days later confronting me about requesting the review. When I told him that indeed, I requested the review, it changed everything. Our friendship turned a corner, and paybacks came in the form of a change of custody motion on June 25, 2008.
An order for mediation was entered. This is a “service” that is provided under the umbrella of the Friend of the Court. This mediator is not bound by family law standards and is absolved from possible lawsuits that could result from their recommendations….right, wrong, or indifferent. In other words, if your mediator is incompetent (to put it nicely), you can not file a claim against him/her as a result. They are untouchable. How convenient.
Of the 12 factors, in a truthful and transparent world, I would be favored solely on 8 factors and we would equally share 4 factors. The only way it would be possible for us to share on 4 factors was a direct result of my conviction that my daughter and her father would need to spend more time together than what the court was ordering. A normal parent/child bond would have been impossible with one weekend per month (that was the courts order).
Unfortunately, this isn’t a truthful and transparent world. It is a world sadly full of selfish, unaware, scathing people (and many of them are in politics).
My thoughts going in to mediation, was that she (the mediator) would instantly see that the plaintiffs testimony was far-fetched. I had confidence that the mediator would be intelligent, would have an eye and ear for inconsistencies, and could be able to accurately decipher between truth and untruth.
Moreover, as it is a part of my way of communicating, I never thought twice about using metaphors, analogies, or directives. Intelligent discussion about the facts regarding my relationship with both my daughter and her father were botched entirely in the written recommendation drawn by the mediator.
An example of 1 of the countless severely skewed pieces of conversation is as follows:
I was sharing with the mediator how out of my 4 children, each of them has very different personalities….same parent….4 different personalities. I grabbed this analogy I am about to share from a motivational leadership speaker. The talk this speaker gave was titled “Buffalo’s and Butterflies”. I said to the mediator, “I have 4 children. I can best describe them this way: 2 are butterflies….happy, bouncy, and fluttery. I also have a mosquito….this little guy is always attached to me, either on my hip or on my lap. Then, I have my buffalo. She has a strong will, is hard to budge once her mind is made up, and is sometimes just plain stubborn”.
What I said and the context in which I said it was not conveyed the same way in the recommendation. The mediator writes this on the final recommendation: “This mother refers to her child as a bull!”
That’s it. Would you say she accurately relayed my statement?
Here is another account:
I was asked why I might be opposed to my daughter living with her father. Because there is not just a single answer to that question, one of my reasons was: “My daughter is an extremely bright child. She is getting her education from one of the top schools in the state. The children are tested in to the school and it is a school dedicated to creative arts and academic giftedness. My daughter is surrounded each day by cultural diversity, and higher learning. These children are positioned to attend any university in the country. My daughter has the potential to be a brain surgeon. In the Amish community her father lives in, the percentages of people completing grade school are numbered. If they do graduate, they go on to work in the local trailer factories, farms, or grocers. My daughter can be so much more than that. Her father, grandfather, and great-grandfather all worked for the family excavating business. Her education here will help to position her for a life more successful than the one I had.
This is what the mediator wrote in the recommendation: “This mother’s reason for not wanting her child to live in Indiana is because she said her daughter will grow up to be nothing more than a grocery store clerk if she lives with her dad”. She left out all of the other reasons I gave, such as that she has 3 younger siblings in the home….how might it change their lives to no longer have their sister with them?
Here is another:
In an attempt to defend myself from hurtful and untruthful allegations of premiscuity, I shared with the mediator that I have only had a handful of relationships, each were deeply meaningful. I told her that at least I knew the names of people I shared my bed with, whereas my daughter’s father did not. He lost his virginity in a different country whilst in a drunken stupor. He didn’t know the girl…not even her name. Following our daughter’s birth, he frequented the gentleman’s clubs and paid for sexual pleasures.
This is how the mediator worded it in her recommendation: “The minor child’s mother said knew the names of the men she laid with”. Nothing further was written regarding this conversation. This bit of conversation was placed in the recommendation under the moral fitness of the parents factor. He was favored on this factor. Also, while in court, the father’s attorney asked me: “you told the mediator that you knew the names of the men you laid with?”. Then she gave this little conniving laugh and used body language intended to intimidate. It still makes my skin crawl to this day. I said, “yes, but”…..then she interrupted and said: “It was a yes or know answer”. I was not allowed to finish.
There are more…many, many more accounts of poor and inaccurate note taking. Most of my testimony was not reflected in the final recommendation. It is my belief that the mediator had her mind made up within minutes of our introduction.
Rewinding to the first day of interviewing: I wasn’t prepared for the 4 hour long bash-fest I was about to embark upon when I entered the mediators office along with my daughters father. I thought that the mediator would systematically discuss each factor with us and allow us each a turn to share our side. That is not what happened. No sooner did she explain her protocol and the bantering began. This man had been well-rehearsed by his attorney on what to say and when to say it. I on the other hand was not. My attorney advised me to be honest and transparent.
It became evident nearly immediately that he had been practicing his every word. He also knew exactly everything the mediator was going to ask. As a matter of fact, he answered everything before it was asked, right down the line. He came up for air after 4 hours.
All I could manage was frequent protests. I could not get a word in edgewise, nor was I given the opportunity to. He was assailing blame and resentment, of which nothing had a speck of truth. The mediator wrote down everything he was saying, and it carried over in to the final recommendation. She did not and could not verify anything he was alleging, because none of it had truth.
My thoughts were literally spinning in my head. Where did this all come from? How did he come up with it? Wait, some of these characteristics are his, not mine, but he’s blaming me? This must be a very bad dream! He laid out pages upon pages worth of erroneous bull crap, and now, all I was left with was the hope that this mediator would see through it.
Because we weren’t even close to finishing the interview/interrogation, another time was scheduled….this time, we went in separately. I was much more comfortable with that. When I sat with the mediator, she went through each factor with me. The interview lasted about 1 1/2 hours and during that time, she jotted down some notes only a handful of times. That alarmed me.
When my ex was being interviewed alone, it gave him the opportunity to pull more awful allegations about me out of his magical bag. This time without my protests.
I will tell you, my feelings about him took a fast U-turn. This is a person who praised me as an individual and as a parent over the past 7 years, a person who called me on almost a daily basis just to chat, a person who I re-opened my heart back up to as a friend and opened my home up to on weekends he came to pick up our daughter but the roads were too bad to travel on, a person who called me his best friend.
I realized that he was either a person who was wearing a facade all those years, planning all along to make this move, or it was the sudden new relationship and engagement he was in that triggered this. It is really something to witness…selfishness that is. We all have it, but for some, it goes through a sort of metamorphosis. When you give selfishness wings, it can and will go anywhere. It will plow down anything and everything that gets in its way and it won’t look back, because it doesn’t have a conscience.
I knew based on the final recommendation that he continued during his private interview to throw some additional fictitious details out there for the record.
In the end, the non-custodial father was in favor on all 12 factors. The Saginaw County Friend of the Court Mediator didn’t favor me on a single one. His testimony became the “hard evidence” needed to gain sole physical custody.
During the final court hearing, my attorney blasted holes through the plaintiff’s testimony and she devalued the mediator’s recommendation by means of witnesses and hard documentation. The school principal and teachers were witnesses, my husband, and my mother. My attorney pointed out one inconsistency after the other. She went through each factor, line-by-line and anyone with even a pea-sized brain would conclude that the allegations lacked evidence, some were even humorously ridiculous, and the recommendation made by the friend of the court mediator was void of evidence and was drawn purely from one-sided hearsay.
I lost custody of my daughter that day. My children lost their sister. The same leniency and generosity I afforded her dad all those years was not afforded to me (with every other weekend visits, extended summer breaks, and sharing all school breaks). The judge was a breath away from revoking my joint legal custody rights and verbalized this in the final seconds of his judgment.
It’s been 10 months since custody was lost. Our lives have changed so much, and so has my daughters. Everything single thing that favored her father by the mediator either never existed or existed only for a moment, long enough to get it on the record. I was awarded one weekend per calendar month. I am responsible to drive to Indiana to pick her up on that Friday and we get home at around 8 pm. We have all of Saturday to reconnect, and then she’s whisked away early Sunday afternoon. I don’t get to see her at all for the remaining 2009 holidays, nor for the first half of 2010 holidays. We live 156 miles apart, and in Michigan, if parties live more than 150 miles apart, they by default are granted only 1 visit per month (over a weekend). While the judge knew I let him have every-other-weekend visits with our daughter, he did not feel impelled or kind enough to afford me the same.
She is being raised by her single father whose engagement was called off shortly after the custody was changed. His relationship fell apart completely and his fiance and her young child moved out. My daughter who is now 10 doesn’t have a maternal influence on a daily basis, just 1 1/2 days per month. No one to sit down with to discuss “girl things”, no mumma to play with her hair, or tuck her in snug-as-a-bug-in-a-rug at night, no mumma to have “spa nights” with (this is when we get out all of our beauty goodies and do makeovers and pedicures). Daughters need their mother’s. Forty-eight hours per month is abusive and does not aid in embracing a mother/daughter bond. It is not even close to being enough time!
If I had to do it all over again, I wouldn’t change a thing…..except I would have brought a voice recorder to the Mediation interview. It should be required by state law that the testimony given at mediation be audio taped.
I have learned a lesson that has perhaps hardened me, but has also been a huge eye-opener:
Transparency, truth, and integrity doesn’t always prevail. Sometimes it takes being dirty and cunning to get to the top. For me, I lost something irreplaceable and precious….but, I didn’t lose my integrity.
Nothing ever became of the request for child support review in late April 2008 that stemmed his move for custody in June 2008. When I contacted the child support division in Indiana on numerous occasions prior to losing custody, they would tell me that they haven’t reviewed the case yet. I called right up until the day I lost my daughter. After the change of custody was ordered, I received a letter from their office stating that because custody has changed, there would be no need for review.
A Michigan Mother’s Custody Injustice
I have never done anything like this before. I have never been in a desperate situation where I am in a soundproof bubble, and the system doesn’t hear my cries. They see me, but they pretend I am not there. This is the Michigan Family Law and Friend of the Court Division. It is our system; the one we are suppose to count on for freedom, justice, and liberty. It is my prayer that you read through to the end. Although this is my hell and my grief, this story must be heard. Please feel free to leave comments and post the story in to your blogs and various social marketing venues. It is imperative that we use our voices; otherwise, this will continue to happen to mothers who don’t deserve it. Justice needs to prevail, I must get my daughter back, and the biased officials involved in my case need to be reprimanded. This must climb up the political ladder and reach the steps of the Supreme Court. I can not get there alone.
I am a wife and mother of four amazing children. We are an American white collar, middle-class family. I am so fortunate and thankful that we own a beautiful 2,500 square foot home that backs up to the 4th green of a prestigious golf course. I wasn’t always of this status, most people aren’t. We start somewhere, and then gradually improve ourselves with the combination of time, effort & experiences. I consider myself ordinary. I, like most of you, have experienced meaningful relationships. I’ve been hurt. I’ve failed and given up on things. I’ve traveled extensively, I’ve gone to college. I am a deep thinker, a reader, and I am gentle. I love nature and respect its wrath. I am not religious, but am deeply spiritual. I am passionate about loving and caring for my children. I am always searching….searching for truth, for mindfulness, for authenticity. I am searching for the path that will ultimately be the “dash”….you know, that little mark on a gravestone that is between the day you were born and the day you passed….that’s the dash I am referring to.
I would ask, are you much the same? Probably. I am thankful that we can redeem ourselves throughout our lifetime; to make better decisions, to course-correct, and to leave a footprint that we can be proud of.
So, why am I writing about custody injustices?
On January 22, 2009, I lost custody of my 9 year old daughter; the oldest of four. I didn’t lose custody because of abuse, or because of illness, or because I was unwilling to care for her. I didn’t lose custody because of drugs or alcohol, or because of a lack of interest and participation in her social and educational needs. I didn’t lose custody because I couldn’t provide her with clothing, food, housing, or emotional support. I lost her because of an incompetent court system with which accountability to a higher court or official is unlikely. Records are so tightly sealed in the Michigan Family Court System, that the likelihood of reprimand and justice is as likely as the sky turning yellow tomorrow.
I was under the disillusionment that a mother who is unfit or unwilling to parent could lose custody of a child. I never dreamed that a mother who was competent, loving, stable, and willing could lose their child.
I solely raised my daughter and was completely alone during my pregnancy. Her father and I parted ways because he had some severe addictions to overcome and I didn’t want any part of it. When I told him about the pregnancy (which was right away), he denied responsibility. He began accusing me of being promiscuous. His parents and sister were unaware of his addictions for the most part (they knew he used drugs, but they didn’t know to what extent), and they too began to propose that the baby wasn’t his. Over the next several months, I began to look inside of myself and had to make some pretty grown-up decisions.
I finally moved back to Michigan with my family when I was 34 weeks gestation. I felt that it was the best thing I could do for myself and my unborn child. I would be in a safe, moral, and loving home, receiving unconditional support. Love and support is what I needed, and I wasn’t getting it in Indiana. My unborn child’s father was still backing out of the responsibility and I came to accept that we would be alone. I was about to embark upon “single parenthood”, a journey that would shape me in to the person I longed to be, a journey that would be so treacherous at times, it would test my endurance down to the nucleus of my being. Even so, I was ready to take it on.
I never married her father. After my daughter was born, I re-met a man I knew when I was a child and got pregnant again. I was on birth control when this happened and was devastated to be in this situation again. I married this man 7 months later, had yet another child and we divorced when our youngest was 2. If I don’t have you disgusted by now, it gets worse. I got pregnant again with someone who became the love of my life, before our divorces were final. OUCH! If you are thinking we cheated on our ex-spouses, think again. That is not why our previous marriages dissolved. I ended up marrying for the last time, and the rest is history.
Regarding my last surprise pregnancy, in my mind then and still to this day almost 6 years later, I believe that the responsible and right action to take with regards to my situation was to carry this pregnancy full term whether it was socially accepted or not. No person or court should be given the right to impose their conviction as an absolute rule if a law has not been broken. For some unreasonable single dimensional process of thought, our society so eagerly conforms to; I was labeled as immoral by the court, years later. I haven’t done anything that everyone else isn’t doing. Hello, people have sex. Some get pregnant, others don’t. It’s the women who get pregnant that are at a disadvantage. Think about it…when you have a big balloon belly, the evidence that you engaged in sexual activities is plain and clear. If you are on effective birth control, nobody thinks about it. For a man, there is no visual indication that he is engaging in sexual activities. It is only the pregnant woman who endures the “immoral” label. Because she’s pregnant and unwed, she must be promiscuous. That, unfortunately, is the punishment our society and system have placed on women.
By the time our daughter was 18 months old, my friendship with her father was on the mend, and for the next 7 years I considered him a best friend. I put a great deal of thought into the life my child would have without her parents getting along and being supportive of one another. With all of my selfish might, I didn’t want to bite the bullet, but it wasn’t about me me me anymore. He stopped using drugs, and even stopped smoking. The court verified parentage through DNA testing (ordered by the court to begin collecting child support and recover hospital costs that Medicaid initially paid). It wasn’t until she was 2 years old that he began paying child support, and his arrears neared $3,000.00.
It was in an earlier court occurrence when our daughter was 5 months old, that he would lie under oath for the first time stating that he provided for his daughter financially, and saw her regularly. He petitioned a motion preventing me from leaving the state of Michigan with the daughter he denied was his. At this time paternity was not established, nor was a court order for parenting time and/or support entered. That didn’t happen until she was almost 2 years old. The Judge ruled in the father’s favor and I was not to move our child’s residence out of the state of Michigan.
Over the next 8 years, life continued. My family was complete, I found my lifelong partner, I ran my own successful company, and subscribed to an intense leadership development program. I coordinated and hosted charitable benefits for our local Child Abuse and Neglect Council, regularly met with and mentored with my children’s school district superintendent and principals about topics such as leadership and parenting, and was invited to be a guest speaker for career days. I am deeply involved in my children’s education and offer to volunteer at their schools. Each week, I meet with them individually over their lunch hour. These are our special “dates”.
It is not my intention to toot my own horn. I just want you to be able to gauge my involvement. While this is just from an educational standpoint, the level of involvement carries over in to every facet of their lives.
Here is where my life turned a corner:
I received notification on June 25, 2008 that the non-custodial parent petitioned the court for a change of custody. In Michigan, there are 12 factors considered in determining the “best interest of the child”. It is basically a game….whomever receives the most points wins.
I was completely blind-sided. There was as a petition before me requesting a change of custody due to abuse and a lack of financial resources. I can’t even begin to convey my shock and disbelief at this nonsense. Here was an erroneous testimony alleging that I abused my daughter physically, frequently cursed at her, would scream uncontrollably, and was unable to financially support extra-curricular activities such as gymnastics for her.
I was scratching my head, wondering if this was a cruel prank.
In April 2008 for the first time ever since a support order was entered, I requested that the court considers a review for child support. Because the father lives in Indiana, this complicates orders with regards to child support. He doesn’t pay what Michigan’s standards are, although my daughter and I resided in Michigan. He pays according to Indiana’s formulations which are considerably lower. Our child was no longer a baby, and the cost of her daily upkeep had increased over the past 7 years.
I received a call from him days later confronting me about requesting the review. When I told him that indeed, I requested the review, it changed everything. Our friendship turned a corner, and paybacks came in the form of a change of custody motion on June 25, 2008.
An order for mediation was entered. This is a “service” that is provided under the umbrella of the Friend of the Court. This mediator is not bound by family law standards and is absolved from possible lawsuits that could result from their recommendations….right, wrong, or indifferent. In other words, if your mediator is incompetent (to put it nicely), you can not file a claim against him/her as a result. They are untouchable. How convenient.
Of the 12 factors, in a truthful and transparent world, I would be favored solely on 8 factors and we would equally share 4 factors. The only way it would be possible for us to share on 4 factors was a direct result of my conviction that my daughter and her father would need to spend more time together than what the court was ordering. A normal parent/child bond would have been impossible with one weekend per month (that was the courts order).
Unfortunately, this isn’t a truthful and transparent world. It is a world sadly full of selfish, unaware, scathing people (and many of them are in politics).
My thoughts going in to mediation, was that she (the mediator) would instantly see that the plaintiffs testimony was far-fetched. I had confidence that the mediator would be intelligent, would have an eye and ear for inconsistencies, and could be able to accurately decipher between truth and untruth.
Moreover, as it is a part of my way of communicating, I never thought twice about using metaphors, analogies, or directives. Intelligent discussion about the facts regarding my relationship with both my daughter and her father were botched entirely in the written recommendation drawn by the mediator.
An example of 1 of the countless severely skewed pieces of conversation is as follows:
I was sharing with the mediator how out of my 4 children, each of them has very different personalities….same parent….4 different personalities. I grabbed this analogy I am about to share from a motivational leadership speaker. The talk this speaker gave was titled “Buffalo’s and Butterflies”. I said to the mediator, “I have 4 children. I can best describe them this way: 2 are butterflies….happy, bouncy, and fluttery. I also have a mosquito….this little guy is always attached to me, either on my hip or on my lap. Then, I have my buffalo. She has a strong will, is hard to budge once her mind is made up, and is sometimes just plain stubborn”.
What I said and the context in which I said it was not conveyed the same way in the recommendation. The mediator writes this on the final recommendation: “This mother refers to her child as a bull!”
That’s it. Would you say she accurately relayed my statement?
Here is another account:
I was asked why I might be opposed to my daughter living with her father. Because there is not just a single answer to that question, one of my reasons was: “My daughter is an extremely bright child. She is getting her education from one of the top schools in the state. The children are tested in to the school and it is a school dedicated to creative arts and academic giftedness. My daughter is surrounded each day by cultural diversity, and higher learning. These children are positioned to attend any university in the country. My daughter has the potential to be a brain surgeon. In the Amish community her father lives in, the percentages of people completing grade school are numbered. If they do graduate, they go on to work in the local trailer factories, farms, or grocers. My daughter can be so much more than that. Her father, grandfather, and great-grandfather all worked for the family excavating business. Her education here will help to position her for a life more successful than the one I had.
This is what the mediator wrote in the recommendation: “This mother’s reason for not wanting her child to live in Indiana is because she said her daughter will grow up to be nothing more than a grocery store clerk if she lives with her dad”. She left out all of the other reasons I gave, such as that she has 3 younger siblings in the home….how might it change their lives to no longer have their sister with them?
Here is another:
In an attempt to defend myself from hurtful and untruthful allegations of promiscuity, I shared with the mediator that I have only had a handful of relationships, each were deeply meaningful. I told her that at least I knew the names of people I shared my bed with, whereas my daughter’s father did not. He lost his virginity in a different country whilst in a drunken stupor. He didn’t know the girl…not even her name. Following our daughter’s birth, he frequented the gentleman’s clubs and paid for sexual pleasures.
This is how the mediator worded it in her recommendation: “The minor child’s mother said knew the names of the men she laid with”. Nothing further was written regarding this conversation. This bit of conversation was placed in the recommendation under the moral fitness of the parents factor. He was favored on this factor. Also, while in court, the father’s attorney asked me: “you told the mediator that you knew the names of the men you laid with?”. Then she gave this little conniving laugh and used body language intended to intimidate. It still makes my skin crawl to this day. I said, “yes, but”…..then she interrupted and said: “It was a yes or know answer”. I was not allowed to finish.
There are more…many, many more accounts of poor and inaccurate note taking. Most of my testimony was not reflected in the final recommendation. It is my belief that the mediator had her mind made up within minutes of our introduction.
Rewinding to the first day of interviewing: I wasn’t prepared for the 4 hour long bash-fest I was about to embark upon when I entered the mediators office along with my daughters father. I thought that the mediator would systematically discuss each factor with us and allow us each a turn to share our side. That is not what happened. No sooner did she explain her protocol and the bantering began. This man had been well-rehearsed by his attorney on what to say and when to say it. I on the other hand was not. My attorney advised me to be honest and transparent.
It became evident nearly immediately that he had been practicing his every word. He also knew exactly everything the mediator was going to ask. As a matter of fact, he answered everything before it was asked, right down the line. He came up for air after 4 hours.
All I could manage was frequent protests. I could not get a word in edgewise, nor was I given the opportunity to. He was assailing blame and resentment, of which nothing had a speck of truth. The mediator wrote down everything he was saying, and it carried over in to the final recommendation. She did not and could not verify anything he was alleging, because none of it had truth.
My thoughts were literally spinning in my head. Where did this all come from? How did he come up with it? Wait, some of these characteristics are his, not mine, but he’s blaming me? This must be a very bad dream! He laid out pages upon pages worth of erroneous bull crap, and now, all I was left with was the hope that this mediator would see through it.
Because we weren’t even close to finishing the interview/interrogation, another time was scheduled….this time, we went in separately. I was much more comfortable with that. When I sat with the mediator, she went through each factor with me. The interview lasted about 1 1/2 hours and during that time, she jotted down some notes only a handful of times. That alarmed me.
When my ex was being interviewed alone, it gave him the opportunity to pull more awful allegations about me out of his magical bag. This time without my protests.
I will tell you, my feelings about him took a fast U-turn. This is a person who praised me as an individual and as a parent over the past 7 years, a person who called me on almost a daily basis just to chat, a person who I re-opened my heart back up to as a friend and opened my home up to on weekends he came to pick up our daughter but the roads were too bad to travel on, a person who called me his best friend.
I realized that he was either a person who was wearing a facade all those years, planning all along to make this move, or it was the sudden new relationship and engagement he was in that triggered this. It is really something to witness…selfishness that is. We all have it, but for some, it goes through a sort of metamorphosis. When you give selfishness wings, it can and will go anywhere. It will plow down anything and everything that gets in its way and it won’t look back, because it doesn’t have a conscience.
I knew based on the final recommendation that he continued during his private interview to throw some additional fictitious details out there for the record.
In the end, the non-custodial father was in favor on all 12 factors. The Saginaw County Friend of the Court Mediator didn’t favor me on a single one. His testimony became the “hard evidence” needed to gain sole physical custody.
During the final court hearing, my attorney blasted holes through the plaintiff’s testimony and she devalued the mediator’s recommendation by means of witnesses and hard documentation. The school principal and teachers were witnesses, my husband, and my mother. My attorney pointed out one inconsistency after the other. She went through each factor, line-by-line and anyone with even a pea-sized brain would conclude that the allegations lacked evidence, some were even humorously ridiculous, and the recommendation made by the friend of the court mediator was void of evidence and was drawn purely from one-sided hearsay.
I lost custody of my daughter that day. My children lost their sister. The same leniency and generosity I afforded her dad all those years was not afforded to me (with every other weekend visits, extended summer breaks, and sharing all school breaks). The judge was a breath away from revoking my joint legal custody rights and verbalized this in the final seconds of his judgment.
It’s been 10 months since custody was lost. Our lives have changed so much, and so has my daughters. Everything single thing that favored her father by the mediator either never existed or existed only for a moment, long enough to get it on the record. I was awarded one weekend per calendar month. I am responsible to drive to Indiana to pick her up on that Friday and we get home at around 8 pm. We have all of Saturday to reconnect, and then she’s whisked away early Sunday afternoon. I don’t get to see her at all for the remaining 2009 holidays, nor for the first half of 2010 holidays. We live 156 miles apart, and in Michigan, if parties live more than 150 miles apart, they by default are granted only 1 visit per month (over a weekend). While the judge knew I let him have every-other-weekend visits with our daughter, he did not feel impelled or kind enough to afford me the same.
She is being raised by her single father whose engagement was called off shortly after the custody was changed. His relationship fell apart completely and his fiance and her young child moved out. My daughter who is now 10 doesn’t have a maternal influence on a daily basis, just 1 1/2 days per month. No one to sit down with to discuss “girl things”, no mumma to play with her hair, or tuck her in snug-as-a-bug-in-a-rug at night, no mumma to have “spa nights” with (this is when we get out all of our beauty goodies and do makeovers and pedicures). Daughters need their mother’s. Forty-eight hours per month is abusive and does not aid in embracing a mother/daughter bond. It is not even close to being enough time!
If I had to do it all over again, I wouldn’t change a thing…..except I would have brought a voice recorder to the Mediation interview. It should be required by state law that the testimony given at mediation be audio taped.
I have learned a lesson that has perhaps hardened me, but has also been a huge eye-opener:
Transparency, truth, and integrity doesn’t always prevail. Sometimes it takes being dirty and cunning to get to the top. For me, I lost something irreplaceable and precious….but, I didn’t lose my integrity.
Nothing ever became of the request for child support review in late April 2008 that stemmed his move for custody in June 2008. When I contacted the child support division in Indiana on numerous occasions prior to losing custody, they would tell me that they haven’t reviewed the case yet. I called right up until the day I lost my daughter. After the change of custody was ordered, I received a letter from their office stating that because custody has changed, there would be no need for review.
Does M.A.D.D. (Mothers Against Drunk Driving) protest at funerals?
My friend’s mother insisted they were going to protest at her daughter’s funeral. The daughter drove drunk and now the cousins want to take action to make sure people do not make the choice to drive drunk. However, they’re not sure if they should get involved with M.A.D.D. activities because of the “rumor.” Help?