You are currently browsing all posts tagged with 'motives'

Mystery Unraveled: Admiration is the Key to True Love

  • Posted on July 2, 2009 at 7:15 am

Have you ever asked yourself: Does true love exist? Is the notion of soul mates real? Have you ever found yourself asking a couple who has been married for many years, “What’s your secret?” If you answered “yes” to any of these, you’re not alone. Since time immemorial, we have been trying to unravel the mystery of love and long-lasting relationships.

Hayden Dane, a pseudonym for a regular guy who has tried to learn from his relationship mistakes, believes he has the answer: Admiration.

In his new direct-to-download book entitled “I Have One Question,” Dane makes a convincing case that true love lies in one partner admiring in the other what he/she admires about himself/herself, and vice versa.

Says Dane, “What a man (or woman) admires in himself (or herself) forms his identity; his essence. These elements combine to form the person he believes he is and wishes others to see. Consequently, he is least likely to compromise on these elements; least likely to change them. If his partner can’t admire these elements, and vice versa, their relationship will be tension-filled and won’t be likely to endure.”

“I Have One Question” describes a conversation to be had between couples or those looking to be couples that will elicit the elements each admires in himself/herself. Dane observes that most people haven’t thought in terms of admiration, so simply asking your partner, “What do you admire about yourself,” isn’t likely to yield helpful information. To overcome this limitation, Dane walks readers through the conversation to have, using himself as an example. Upon finishing the book, the reader should be able to have a comfortable and productive conversation with their spouse, significant other, or prospective partner and be able to properly interpret the answers received in order for each to reliably conclude on their long-term compatibility as a couple.

Dane’s motives are not purely altruistic, however. It turns out that Mr. Dane is looking for his soul mate, and his book is a helpful (and clever) way of introducing himself to eligible women. By using himself as an example for the conversation, Mr. Dane is able to share with readers what it is he admires about himself. “Perhaps one of my single, female readers will conclude that she admires me for the things I admire about myself, and we’ll have a conversation and I’ll find that I admire her for what she admires about herself. That would make for a very promising match,” says Dane. “If that doesn’t happen, at least I will have helped a lot of others in their search for true love and a lifelong relationship.”

Not one to dismiss the importance of physical chemistry and other traditional elements of compatibility, Dane agrees that they should be present for a fulfilling relationship, but contends that if they are present without the mutual admiration he describes in his book, the relationship will be tenuous. Dane points to the high divorce rate as proof, suggesting that if one were to explore many of the relationships, you would find that traditional measures of compatibility existed but mutual admiration did not.

“I Have One Question” is available for download at www.haydendane.com

Article Source: Mystery Unraveled: Admiration is the Key to True Love

  • Share/Bookmark

Nanny Background Check – Isn’t Your Child Worth It?

  • Posted on July 2, 2009 at 7:15 am

When you make the decision to hire someone to take care of your child, it should be one of those decisions that you will want to ponder a while. What is more important than your children? With society the way it is today, you never can fully know a person just by talking to them or meeting them. Thus, getting a nanny background check is paramount before hiring a nanny. A nanny will spend a significant amount of time with your child.

They will be the one that has the most access to your child. They will be the one your child trusts. Isn’t it wise to get a nanny background check and feel secure that your child is safe? It is difficult enough leaving your child with a total stranger, but what if they had other motives. It’s just not enough to trust your instincts. It is imperative you get a complete background check.

Here are some steps you can take:

1. Ask for at least three references. Contact all of them and ask questions.

2. Let them fill out an application that includes location and date of birth, driver’s license number, previous names, last five employers, names, addresses and phone numbers of close relatives, names of colleges/schools attended and dates, and last three addresses. Plus, anything else you would like to know.

3. Let them know you will do a background check and have them sign a statement authorizing you to do so. If they are not willing to do this, would you really want to trust your kids with them?

4. Call relatives to verify the relationship. Call previous employers and find out if the information given was true and what they thought of their work.

Finally, verify the information given using a Nanny Background Check service.

Article Source: Nanny Background Check – Isn’t Your Child Worth It?

  • Share/Bookmark

Life Coach and Relationship Advice Research: Poor Relationship Has 66% Chance to Be Fixed

  • Posted on July 1, 2009 at 10:12 pm

Do Poor Relationship Have a Chance to Improve? What Do We Know (so far) about Human Behavior that Allows an Answer?

Here are some basic facts and agreed upon assumptions that have a valuable impact regarding relationship advice, therapy, online counseling and traditional modes of counseling: they all do have a chance! Once we take a special look at the ‘Intimacy Factor’, we may declare the following positive statement: Poor relationship has 66% chance to be fixed.

1. Human beings are biological creatures – our biology determines our behavior to a grate extent, but we are not rigidly programmed by it.
2. Every person is different, yet much the same – our personalities, intellects and interests differ, but we are similar in our capacities to think, feel, remember and so on.
3. People can be understood fully only in the context of their cultural, ethnic identity and gender identity – since beliefs about right and wrong, food preference, language usage, religious practice, as well as male or female essence are influenced by the socio-cultural forces.
4. Human lives are a continuous process of change – because of the biological tract that leads us from infancy to old age, and because of life events and experiences.
5. Behavior is motivated – and helps us to meet our needs. However, not all our motives are simple or easy to reveal.
6. Human are social animals – and not only in order to accomplish things that single individuals cannot. We need company. We suffer when we are lonely.
7. People play an active part in creating their experiences – the human nervous system interprets the outside world and creates the reality for us.
8. Behavior can be adoptive or maladaptive – and each direction could be changed.

The following traits were isolated, along with the estimated percentage of the inherited trait:
• Extroversion (mixed easily, likes to be the center of attention): 61%
• Conformity (respects tradition and authority; follows the rules): 60%
• Worry (easily distressed and frustrated; feels vulnerable): 55%
• Creativity (tendency to become lost in thought and abstraction): 55%
• Paranoia (feels exploited, thinks “world is out to get me”): 55%
• Optimism (confident, cheerful, upbeat): 54%
• Cautiousness (avoids risks and dangers; takes safe route): 51%
• Aggressiveness (tends to be violent; has a taste for revenge): 48%
• Ambitiousness (works hard to achieve goals; perfectionist): 46%
• Orderliness (plans carefully; tries to make rational decisions): 43%
• Intimacy (prefers emotional closeness): 33%

The basic known facts and agreed upon assumptions about human behavior creates a valuable impact regarding counseling and therapy. Once we put together all we know about human nature, the optimistic point of view must capture our horizons.
The conclusion is both simple and impressive: we all are capable to adopt and change; relationship advice, therapy, online counseling and traditional modes of counseling do have a chance!

Dr. Joseph Abraham, Director, Center for Human Growth and Business Insights, Mechanicsburg, PA Tel 717-943.0959 A Psychologist, Online Life Coach, Marriage Counselor and Relationship Advice provider. Relationship Advice and Life Coach Online Counseling and Small Business Advice

Article Source: Life Coach and Relationship Advice Research: Poor Relationship Has 66% Chance to Be Fixed

  • Share/Bookmark