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My ex moved on (w/ ex sis-in law) and I am so disappointed…?

  • Posted on November 3, 2010 at 4:32 pm

I was married to my ex for 20 years. He gave me a life of disappointments, problems, alcoholism and drug abuse. He cleaned up after 13 years of marriage, but he remained the same irresponsible and immature man as ever, except now he was sober. Long story short, he was never there for my kids or me and as soon as the kids graduated, I divorced him. I loved him so very much, but who he was, I did not want and although I loved him with all my heart, I love me more.

It is now almost three years later and I have moved on, am engaged and happy. No more stress, problems or rescuing. I still am the only one the kids can depend on, and where is he? He partied and went back to drinking the moment I left. My son chose to move in with his father after he graduated (bcuz I have rules) and had freedom beyond belief as his dad partied the nights, weeks, months away. After a series of mishaps, they had to move from where they are and my ex did not bother to talk to my son, he chose to move on in with his current gf. Who may that be? Well, his ex sister-in law.

My ex had a child before we married. His ex has a sister who is 12 years younger than he and also married with 3 children, ages 2 years, 9 years and 12 years. When this woman’s husband found out his wife was having an affair, he kicked her out, kept the children and now my ex and she are moving in together. My son is devastated at his father’s lack of respect. His dad says “they didn;t plan it this way, it just happened”. BS! To see a married woman, you have to plan around her husband! He sees nothing wrong with it…

I am disappointed and cannot stop thinking about this. My ex is a poor budgeter and has no money for an apartment, so he is renting a room in someone’s house w/ this woman. My ex asked me to wish him well, and I told him I would not do that. THe only thing I wish for him is to recuperate his relationship with my kids. My son (19 yrs.)moved in with some roommates, but always has my support, as does my daughter (21 yrs.).

I am so angry that I cannot stop thinking about this. I don’t know if it is because I did not want him to move on or because of who he is doing it with or because of the pain he caused us and he doesn;t deserve to be happy! THere are moments I want to cry and moments I hurt and moments that I know how much I don;t love him anymore. But it still hurts to see that in the end, he still is not there for his family because everyone else still comes first…

In the end, he started to cry and tell me he continues to miss me everyday and still loves me very much. Says no one will ever take my place and said he loves her, but it is not the same.

I am so disappointed in his choices in life. Although in the beginning he denied what he is doing with this woman is wrong, he admitted in the end that he knows it IS wrong, but, “Oh well”.

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Why did this man put a restraining order on my friend then move to where she moved to clear across the US ?

  • Posted on August 21, 2010 at 4:22 pm

This man was married to the grand daughter of a mob boss. he took my friend to court and got a restraining order against her claiming he was afraid for his life. Judge Scoville made her leave the state. She relocated over 3000 miles away. this man we will call Sal follwed her and moved his wife, father and mother there and lived three blocks away. She mysteriously was raped at the Scottsdale Hilton Resort. Then someone broke into her home with her three day old baby, drugged her with PCP and Ecstasy. She lost her mind then died.

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My bf mistreated me and I moved away w/our baby and my older daughter, I feel very angry w/him. Is this normal?

  • Posted on July 30, 2010 at 12:18 pm

He was often short, ugly and insecure. He would stonewall, and gaslight. He did three tours and Iraq. I have known him for seventeen years. I had no prior romantic interest in him and he put a tremendous amount of pressure on me after he was in divorce proceedings with his wife who asked for a divorce.
He only got married the first time because he got her pregnant after seeing her a month, and this baby I have by him was conceived in spite of birth control and condoms.

He didn’t speak to his mother for over a year after she kicked out his grandchildren over issues that involved control of grandchildren a few months after he got out of the Army. When this happened she focused her anger on me. She looked up my court history that was more than ten years old and mailed it to his ex. She spoke hatefully about me in a verbose manner in an e-mail she sent him and she made sure the pre-school his children attended got a copy of this. His (now) ex-wife had cheated on him and physcially abused him. She also assumed we were romantically involved when we weren’t when he was married and she sent me vulgar, hateful text messages and a year later starting harassing me via crank calls over a two day period. His mother had physically abused him as a child. I helped him care for his children and eventually he had to rent an in-law from my parents. His wife concealed an entire pregnancy from him and binge drank vodka when she was pregnant, and sought no medical attention. This was in part because of the fact she cheated -she didn’t know who the father is-we still don’t know and that child is almost 4. His children are troubled and he can’t see it. She is a very under-involveld/neglectful mother and yet he is supportive of this and intolerant of me. I feel that I am the only “safe” person to take his resentment out on. I no longer speak to him, but I find myself very angry at him for mistreating me. I am currently seeking counseling. I don’t worry about harming either one of my children. I just find myself withdrawn. I have read about emotional abuse and trauma. I have read that emotional abuse is sometimes more psychologically damaging than physical abuse because of its frequency. He was often so ugly and he would needle and needle and needle and I would finally say something hateful and ugly back to him. I don’t want to be that kind of person. My older child is fairly well adjusted. She is academically gifted, adults just love talking to her and she is personable and happens to be a successful child model. I gave a lot of attention to her when she was small-I nursed extensively and spent a lot of time bonding with her. I brought her to counseling when her father was no longer in our lives-the therapist was amazed at her vocabulary by three and after some time felt my daughter was ok to move on. I was always a single mother. She is now ten. I want to be able to give attention to my baby somewhat to the degree that I did my first child(which is impossible because now I have two). I feel as if I stayed there I would be further diminished with nothing left to give my children or myself emotionally. I don’t think it was wrong of me to leave the father of my child in another state. He wanted to get married-I said No. I just find myself so angry at him for mistreating me after knowing me so many years. Is it normal to feel this way?

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