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I never knew love like this?

  • Posted on April 8, 2011 at 9:20 am

So I have never wrote to something like this. i dont know what all to say. I think i am looking for someone to explain to me or talk to me about this. So let me just say where i am from. I am 55 years old okay. i live in the inland empire of southern California. This is where i grew up. Im just what you would call your typical loser. I think every cop in victorville remembers me. or maybe they heard of me. In the 70s I was arrested so many times. Everytime I would get out of jail i would laugh at how stupid the cops are. They couldnt make nothing stick on me. i could sell quarter bags under there nose but get away with it. But in the 80s I did spend time for a bunch of stuff. My daughter was born and I never really got to know her. I didnt care because her mom was a looser like me. But let me tell you what happened. In 2005 my daughter had a baby and the hospital called me. They were going to put her in cps because my daughter testes positive for meth so they asked if I can take my grandaughter. I took her and my life is never been the same. once I held McKenzie she stoled my heart. everything about life is not the same. this is my life now forever. i never did shit again and told everyone who does shit to stay away from me. i love this girl with my heart. i used to feed her and change her and hold her. She stold my heart. nothing nothing nothing about life matters now. i got a job and my duaghter moved in with me. she has McKenzie in the day time and i have her at night. now McKenzie is 5 and she talks and plays and is in school. how can one person take tour heartt away like this. all I want in life is her. she is so everyhing to me that I never knew i could love someone like this. i am so sorry for all my life i wasted. all i want is to be a good person to her. do you guys understnad this?

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Songs about a dad never being there for their daughter or son?

  • Posted on January 3, 2011 at 1:21 pm

I’m a teenage girl who has never known her father, I’ve heard from him by family but, never have talked to him or seen him. I really don’t know what to feel towards him. If I should feel hate or feel pitty for my self?…anyways, I only know of 2 songs about this situation. They are: Confesions Of a Daughter to father and Daddy’s little girl . SO I’m really into music. It’s my addiction and i”m supposed to turn in an assigment about my life and I need songs concerning this issue…so please help. Any genre of music is okay, just as long as it’s meaning of a father and their children or something like that…

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Do you agree or disagree ( illegal ) Baltazar never intended to steal the car had job worked for cash?

  • Posted on October 8, 2010 at 5:22 pm

A Westmoreland County jury Thursday convicted an illegal Mexican immigrant for the attempted carjacking of a Monroeville woman and her 10-year-old daughter from a Murrsyville parking lot.

The jury deliberated for more than four hours before convicting Noe Tovar Baltazar of one felony count of attempted robbery of a motor vehicle. Baltazar, 24, was accused of getting in the passenger’s seat of a car driven by Rachel Riedel on March 18 in the parking lot of the Village of Murrysville shopping plaza.

Riedel’s daughter fought back, kicking, screaming and elbowing Baltazar in the stomach to get him out of the vehicle. Police found Baltazar minutes later, hiding behind a trash bin.

The defense argued that the prosecution could not prove that Baltazar intended to steal the car.

But Assistant District Attorney Mike Pacek told the jury that Baltazar had no other reason for jumping into the passenger’s seat and grabbing for the keys or steering wheel.

“Nobody knows his intention, but you can only judge his actions. He was waiting for that car to start. Getting in on the passenger’s side is classic action. He could have held that little girl hostage,” Pacek said.

Riedel testified that she jumped from the car to scream for help. She told jurors she feared that Baltazar would force her to drive away and would harm her daughter.

The defense argued that Baltazar was drunk and stumbled into the car without knowing what he was doing. Baltazar testified through a translator that he did not remember the incident because he was intoxicated after drinking as much as a case of beer earlier that day.

“Rachel Riedel was afraid, and her fear caused her to just see something that wasn’t there,” Public Defender Donna McClelland told jurors. “This man was essentially beaten up by a 10-year-old girl. If he wanted to steal the car, would he have been deterred by a 10-year-old girl?”

“There is a bias and a prejudice against Mexicans, maybe some biases, fears and stereotypes of Mr. Baltazar,” McClelland told jurors in her closing.

McClelland was asked whether she thought Baltazar’s nationality was a factor in his conviction. “I certainly hope not,” McClelland said.

Pacek said the prosecution was not predicated on Baltazar’s ethnicity. “We would have prosecuted any defendant just as vigorously,” he said.

Baltazar faces a maximum sentence of 20 years in prison when he is sentenced in three months by Judge Al Bell. Pacek said he would seek a sentence of three to six years of imprisonment, the same sentence offered in a plea bargain deal rejected before the trial.

Baltazar has two prior convictions for drunken driving while living in Georgia in 2006, according to Pacek.

Baltazar, who has been in jail since his arrest, will be held in lieu of a $50,000 bond, pending his sentencing.

Since his arrest, a federal detainer has been placed against him over his immigration status.

Baltazar testified that he came to the United States eight years ago, with prior stops in Florida, Georgia and Kentucky. He arrived in Westmoreland County last year to work as a dishwasher for a Delmont-area Chinese restaurant. Baltazar told jurors he was among several illegal immigrants who worked for cash at the restaurant and lived rent-free in the home of the business owner.

http://www.pittsburghlive.com/x/pittsbur…

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I never had my 8 year old daughter until 2 years ago and now she is driving me crazy..?

  • Posted on October 7, 2010 at 8:21 am

I have 3 kids.10,8,6. This is about my 8 year old daughter. Me and her dad wasnt together and my mom died 2 weeks after she was born. I thought the best thing for her was to give her to her father. I ended up not seeing her for 6 years never connected to her, it actually felt as though I gave her up for adoption. I was okay with the situation. I moved on raising my son and even had another girl who I loved and cherished. Okay so 6 years later I get a phone call that My 8 year old’s Father is now on Meth. I go and get my daughter per her stepmom and knowing that I had to. I take him to court and the Judge ruled for me. I now have full custody.He abandoned her with her step mom for 2 months and she said she has her own kids to care for. Its been Two years she’s 8 now. I want to say I love her but I know that I love my other kids more. I just wish she could go home.Will this feelin ever change? Will I ever come to love her? I know she’s been through alot. Please don’t judge me…….

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What do you think it’s now or never..?

  • Posted on September 13, 2010 at 9:17 am

My wife left me about 6 months ago. I know she filed for divorce but as for the status I don’t know. I have been out of commission so to speak. The last time we exchanged I had asked for her to please hold off for a few months. I don’t know if she did. It’s all about my disorder that I BELIEVE was triggered by the substance abuse. Well when she left I had been clean many years, but due to the trauma and my bad choices I went on a binge it’s been a long horrible binge, she told me a couple weeks ago to get it back together, get clean and working again because we need you(her and my daughter) well I am trying to do that now, but I know the with-drawls will be hell, I was wanted to ask her if she would keep me company through the with-drawls, not personally though that would be nice but by phone or chatting texting any of them Since I have gone through this before I know how important is to have someone with you so to speak. many people die during this detox. We don’t have money for a doctor or hospital do you think this would be ok? cause I need someone and I have no family or friends anymore in this state.
nice thought but no one wil lend me money. the last time it came to 35 grand.cant do it

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What do you think it’s now or never..?

  • Posted on September 12, 2010 at 4:17 pm

My wife left me about 6 months ago. I know she filed for divorce but as for the status I don’t know. I have been out of commission so to speak. The last time we exchanged I had asked for her to please hold off for a few months. I don’t know if she did. It’s all about my disorder that I BELIEVE was triggered by the substance abuse. Well when she left I had been clean many years, but due to the trauma and my bad choices I went on a binge it’s been a long horrible binge, she told me a couple weeks ago to get it back together, get clean and working again because we need you(her and my daughter) well I am trying to do that now, but I know the with-drawls will be hell, I was wanted to ask her if she would keep me company through the with-drawls, not personally though that would be nice but by phone or chatting texting any of them Since I have gone through this before I know how important is to have someone with you so to speak. many people die during this detox. We don’t have money for a doctor or hospital do you think this would be ok? cause I need someone and I have no family or friends anymore in this state.
nice thought but no one wil lend me money. the last time it came to 35 grand.cant do it

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I never asked for this life then or now. I am tired of going through the motions and nothing interests me.?

  • Posted on September 11, 2010 at 4:32 pm

I am so absolutely sick and tired of my life. I go through the motions daily, because I owe it to my daughter. But, I don’t know how much more I can deal with. I am a 42 divorced (due to ex’s alcoholism-he turned cruel and mean) woman with a beautiful five year old daughter. I wasn’t a planned child—I was adopted at three days old, and at the age of six, I was told. By the age of 12, I knew too well that I was not ‘first picked’—I was never told or shown that I was loved……as an only child, I was verbally and psychologically abused until I finally had to leave. It still bothers me to this day—I never could understood how my own mother, and her ‘cronies’ could be so cruel—for no reason other than meanness. I volunteered at the library, ran errands for the elderly, walked/rode in -athons to raise money for charities, tutored kids who needed help, —-everyone else seemed to appreciate me except my own family. I was, and am still to a fault, a nurturer and empathizer. Yet, where one would think that people appreciate that in a person, it has caused me nothing but grief. If it weren’t for the teachers in my life, I would probably be living on welfare or some kind of addict. I have never experienced ‘true love’ or ‘unconditional love’….My daughter who is also adopted, since I suffered from ovarian cancer at age 19 and lost one ovary, is my only salvation——and it breaks my heart because I cannot give her all of me. I blame myself for ‘her daddy’ leaving……I tried so hard to help him, to get him help, to do whatever he wanted–yet he still left—two years ago……and his family ‘protected him’ although everything he did to us was cruel and vindictive——moved out and we lost our home, car, etc……..and he refused to help pay anything, he just moved in with some girl he just met—-and guess what, they have a little baby of their own now……I have no other family so to speak, so my daughter only has me, and I feel like a basket case all the time…….Since I was denied family stuff when I was a kid, I always promised that my family would always celebrate everything with family..yet for the two years since my ex took off we have been alone for everything—thanksgiving, christmas, birthdays, soccer games, EVERYTHING..my heart breaks just thinking about it. i have tried to reach out in so many ways to others, but I dont even have a friend in which to talk to. the few friends that I did have kinda went their own ways after the divorce. so, here I am all alone, trying to make a life for my little girl and me. I am terribly sad about what her life has become as well as extremely angry that all the people that were in our life have ‘abandoned us’ She did not deserve this. I just don’t know what to do. I could write on and on about this.. I gave so much my entire life, and my career is based on giving back to at risk kids—which I love, but no one has ever been there for us. I have tried churches, support groups, etc. It is like we are invisible. so, dont offer advice about ‘helping here or there’—I have helped out more than anyone I know and have never been the recipient of any such help. Not that it was ever a thought on my mind when I volunteered all the time, just looking back, it seems that I always gave (because I wanted to) and now, when I need someone, ANYONE, there is NO ONE. and the part that makes me bitter is that it is affecting my daughter, no matter how hard I try to keep it from doing so. She deserves the world. Both she and I have so much love to offer and we desperately want a family to share our lives with—it just seems hopeless

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can u be proved unfit if father saying u drive drunk all the time with child in car but have never had dui?

  • Posted on August 22, 2010 at 1:27 am

the father of my child and my aunt are saying that all i do is drive drunk with my daughter in the car thats what they told dss. i have never had dui there was no law involved father has child abuse on his record, also assualt on female drug charges and other things. Since all this happen i started going to aa meetings her teachers are going to court with me i have a full time job i have letters from people i know stating that i have always looked out for the safety of my child, what are the chances of them taking my child from me? we are not married.

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My out of state married daughter never acknowledges gifts sent to my grandchildren. Should I keep sending?

  • Posted on August 15, 2010 at 10:22 pm

My married daughter has lived out of state for 8 years. The grandkids are now 3 and 6. We were never on great terms, but civil, due to long story from college days, etc. My husband and I can never “win” with her. We have been told not to take things out on the kids. so I remember all birthday,s holidays, etc. We never hear a word. We are in Ohio , and she is in Oregon. It seems a losing goal, we can’t gain ground with her. We feel she is not allowing the kids to get to know us, even long distance. She never calls, or nothing. No pictures through the internet of the kids or no contact at all when it comes to our celebrations. We are in our 60′s now and anything could happen. On our end, we have put past behind us, but it seems she is holding on to it. We think drinking and maybe other addictions could be a part of her behavior. We went through all that during high school years. She estranged herself from us druing college and we have very little contact,We are blamed!!

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How do I tell my 8 year old daughter about her biological father,when she has never seen nor met him?

  • Posted on August 11, 2010 at 10:17 pm

my daughters’ biological father wants to have contact with my daughter,but I have never told her about him because he was abusive and an alcoholic.Should I tell her about him,since he wants to have contact with her?

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