You are currently browsing all posts tagged with 'often'

How often do you do your shopping at the great wal-mart?

  • Posted on April 4, 2011 at 1:22 pm

Walmart Doctor

One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Gary behind him, “My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I’d better see a doctor.”

“Listen, you don’t have to spend that kind of money,” Gary replies

“There’s a diagnostic computer down at WalMart. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what’s wrong and what to do about it.

It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars – A lot cheaper than a doctor.”

So, Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to WalMart.

He deposits ten dollars and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample.. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.

Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:

“You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks. Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart..”

That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe began wondering if the computer could be fooled.

He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample from himself for good measure.
Joe hurries back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the results.. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results .

The computer prints the following:

1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener (Aisle 9)
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren’t yours. Get a lawyer.
5. If you don’t stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better!

Thank you for shopping @ Walmart

Inspired by a great contact.
Thanks Kitty2

  • Share/Bookmark

My six-year-old daughter is very thin and often talks about losing weight. Should I worry?

  • Posted on December 25, 2010 at 1:21 pm

My daughter is naturally very slender and always has been. Her doctor has never been concerned about it. But lately she’s been making comments about losing weight, eating salad, and even calling her two year-old sister fat. Two days ago she proudly told me that she could see her ribs. I’m overweight myself, but healthy, and her father lost over 100 pounds after gastric bypass surgery. I’ll admit that she’s often heard me say how great he looks now, and I used to complain about my weight. I don’t any more out of concern for her. I just found out that one of her classmates called her fat at school, and the teachers say she’s extremely sensitive about herself. They say she wants to be perfect and cries if called down because she doesn’t want to be in trouble. I’ve always told her I love her no matter what she looks like or does. And lately I’ve been saying that it doesn’t matter what people look like as long as they’re healthy. She said once that she loves me but doen’t want to look like me. OUCH! She was five at the time.
She and I have always been extremely close emotionally and, except for the sensitivity, everyone tells me how mature and helpful she is. Her teacher said she’s without a doubt the “best” kid in the class and a dream to teach. And no, my daughter didn’t hear her say that but I did repeat it to others in her presence.
Her father and I have had lots of trouble in the past with addiction and fighting. He also suffers from depression, anxiety, and mood swings, but things have improved greatly with medication and counseling. The kids have witnessed much more than they should have but I’ve always emphasized that none of it is their fault, sometimes grown-ups fight but it’ll be OK, etc… I still feel that he sometimes says very innappropriate and wrong things to the kids, but that’s another issue entirely… I try to do damage control and smooth things out with them later, but you can never take words back, right?
Have other parents had a similiar situation?

  • Share/Bookmark

How often do you buy your child new things? (clothes, toys, books, ect..)?

  • Posted on October 28, 2010 at 10:22 pm

My husband says Im addicted to buying our Daughter stuff! LOL

Every time I go out and about I usually always come back with a book, outfit, toy or something for her. He’s always saying “that’s why she’s spoiled” but I don’t even think that. Its just I enjoy buying things for her. She doesn’t even know what materialistic things are! Is it really going to “spoil” her buy Me buying her things often?
She is 21 months old.

  • Share/Bookmark

My 11 yr. old daughter is on amphetamine, she used to take ridlin. She often wakes up screaming due to nightm?

  • Posted on July 25, 2010 at 1:25 pm

nightmares, is this a common side effect of this drug?
I have to go, but will expect answer
my email address is
peter_twitchell@yahoo.com

  • Share/Bookmark