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my husband refuses to give up smoking cocaine it’s been one our kids are older now what should i do. i pray

  • Posted on February 17, 2011 at 1:22 pm

you know wedding vows are serious. we have been married 18 years and have 3 daughters. age of girls 19, 14, & 12. to have this continue is not good how do i get him to seek help.

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my mom says i’ll be an alcoholic when i’m older?

  • Posted on November 12, 2010 at 12:18 pm

i told her the wine at church tasted good, and she says, “great, now my daughter’s gonna be an alcoholic”

does liking wine mean i’ll be an alcoholic?

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My sister lives several hundred miles from me and recently she has had to let her older daughter move back,?

  • Posted on September 2, 2010 at 1:23 am

her daughter was addicted to pain pills, she has been in rehab and put in jail because her urine came back positive, my sister is about to lose it, and her husband has been dead for a few years.I’d like to know what if anything I could do to help my sister out. She is just at a rock and a hard place. We talk on the phone once a week, and I let her vent her problems to me, but I feel so bad for her, she didn’t do anything wrong, yet she is being punished. Her daughter also, lost her house, and is having to wear a ankle monitor for a few years. Any helpful suggestions would be appreciated, please only ones who will help, not smart remarks. Can you help?

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My bf mistreated me and I moved away w/our baby and my older daughter, I feel very angry w/him. Is this normal?

  • Posted on July 30, 2010 at 12:18 pm

He was often short, ugly and insecure. He would stonewall, and gaslight. He did three tours and Iraq. I have known him for seventeen years. I had no prior romantic interest in him and he put a tremendous amount of pressure on me after he was in divorce proceedings with his wife who asked for a divorce.
He only got married the first time because he got her pregnant after seeing her a month, and this baby I have by him was conceived in spite of birth control and condoms.

He didn’t speak to his mother for over a year after she kicked out his grandchildren over issues that involved control of grandchildren a few months after he got out of the Army. When this happened she focused her anger on me. She looked up my court history that was more than ten years old and mailed it to his ex. She spoke hatefully about me in a verbose manner in an e-mail she sent him and she made sure the pre-school his children attended got a copy of this. His (now) ex-wife had cheated on him and physcially abused him. She also assumed we were romantically involved when we weren’t when he was married and she sent me vulgar, hateful text messages and a year later starting harassing me via crank calls over a two day period. His mother had physically abused him as a child. I helped him care for his children and eventually he had to rent an in-law from my parents. His wife concealed an entire pregnancy from him and binge drank vodka when she was pregnant, and sought no medical attention. This was in part because of the fact she cheated -she didn’t know who the father is-we still don’t know and that child is almost 4. His children are troubled and he can’t see it. She is a very under-involveld/neglectful mother and yet he is supportive of this and intolerant of me. I feel that I am the only “safe” person to take his resentment out on. I no longer speak to him, but I find myself very angry at him for mistreating me. I am currently seeking counseling. I don’t worry about harming either one of my children. I just find myself withdrawn. I have read about emotional abuse and trauma. I have read that emotional abuse is sometimes more psychologically damaging than physical abuse because of its frequency. He was often so ugly and he would needle and needle and needle and I would finally say something hateful and ugly back to him. I don’t want to be that kind of person. My older child is fairly well adjusted. She is academically gifted, adults just love talking to her and she is personable and happens to be a successful child model. I gave a lot of attention to her when she was small-I nursed extensively and spent a lot of time bonding with her. I brought her to counseling when her father was no longer in our lives-the therapist was amazed at her vocabulary by three and after some time felt my daughter was ok to move on. I was always a single mother. She is now ten. I want to be able to give attention to my baby somewhat to the degree that I did my first child(which is impossible because now I have two). I feel as if I stayed there I would be further diminished with nothing left to give my children or myself emotionally. I don’t think it was wrong of me to leave the father of my child in another state. He wanted to get married-I said No. I just find myself so angry at him for mistreating me after knowing me so many years. Is it normal to feel this way?

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Older teens drinking alcohol in restaurants?

  • Posted on January 3, 2010 at 1:32 pm

I’m booking a meal for my soon to be 16 year old and her friends (who are all sixteen already)….naturally- they want to have a bit of a drink her big day. I know I can trust them as they’re all sensible kids.

There is a law that says that 16 year olds can drink cider or beer in a restaurant setting. The law definitely does exist but I’m unsure of the terms of it. Does someone of over 18 years of age have to buy it for them or are they okay to order it?

Also, what are your experiences of taking older teens out with you? Are restaurants okay with it? Do you let them drink?

Personally, I don’t like my daughter drinking and I’d rather she didn’t- but I might as well be a bit lenient for this special day so she learns theres a time and a place.
I don’t know it’s like in the US, but most families I know here in the UK bring their children up to have wine with an evening meal and teach their kids that there is a time and a place. Is this common where you live or are you very anti-alcohol?
She can’t drive…I’ll be dropping her off and picking her up at an allocated time.
In case you’re curious about UK drinking laws- I’ve finally found the complex system.

Age 18- You can buy and drink alcohol anywhere.
Age 16- You can drink cider or beer if it is purchased with a meal by an adult.
Age 5- You can drink anything privately…….

The last one is pretty shocking.

Thanks for your answers.
Other parents are cool with it- do you honestly think that I wouldn’t have asked them?

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Older parent……He don’t want my child?

  • Posted on January 3, 2010 at 4:02 am

I am a older parent. I had my daughter really late in life. My other children are grown and gone. One has two girls. My daughter is two. Her dad hid a crack addiction. I knew nothing about that drug. So I left when she was a baby. My other children’s dad just passed away. I started dating the man of my dreams. The problem is he is 8yrs older than I . He will retire in a few years. He told me this morning he does not want a young child in his life. That he is at the age he can do what he wants and he was looking for a woman to do things with him. But he did fall for me. He has he wants to give it time and see if he can adjust to having a small child around. But he also says he doubts it. So I eneded it with him. Now he is mad and saying I am a jerk for doing that. That he still would like to see me and we can remain friends. Friend sis not what I guess I want. I don’t blame him for how he feels. But it hurts alot. But I do have my daughter to raise. She is my life right now. But I do wish I can find someone to share my life with. Do I still see him and just be friends. Or let him go on and find a woman he can have fun with. I am 47 he 55.

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