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What do you do when your partner’s kid doesn’t want you to be a couple anymore?

  • Posted on October 16, 2010 at 12:17 am

My girlfriends 12yr old daughter seems to be manipulating her against us being together. This kids dad bailed on her, has not even seen her in the last 12 months, and they don’t get a penny from him. Basic deadbeat, always disappointing the kid. When we started dating the kid really seemed to like me, Now I have just gone thru some big changes, I had a lap-band put in and have totally changed the way my entire family looks at food. her daughter is pushing 200lbs @ 12yrs old. She binges on sugar and basically stuffs her face with anything “bad” that will fit in it…seriously. I know this unsaid conflict is at the root, When I’m around she feels self conscious about her gorging on food,,even sneaks it when I’m around. I have never said anything to her about her eating habits, she implies it?
R D: She actually stuffs her face…she gorges, this is not an exaggeration, like a race to eat “anything” My family consists of my sisters, mom, and nieces. Trust me I have talked to the mom. She just says she is an emotional eater, and says she gets more upset if its brought up and she eats more.

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Is it possible to stop my ex partners parents seeing my daughter?

  • Posted on August 14, 2010 at 4:17 pm

My ex partners mother is addicted to drugs and she is an alcoholic and has been for years. The drugs she is addicted to are speed and possibly crack coacaine. I live in uk so any advice would appreciated, i am at a loose end as my daughter is at risk of coming in to contact with drugs.

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What do you do when your partner’s kid doesn’t want you to be a couple anymore?

  • Posted on August 3, 2010 at 5:17 am

My girlfriends 12yr old daughter seems to be manipulating her against us being together. This kids dad bailed on her, has not even seen her in the last 12 months, and they don’t get a penny from him. Basic deadbeat, always disappointing the kid. When we started dating the kid really seemed to like me, Now I have just gone thru some big changes, I had a lap-band put in and have totally changed the way my entire family looks at food. her daughter is pushing 200lbs @ 12yrs old. She binges on sugar and basically stuffs her face with anything “bad” that will fit in it…seriously. I know this unsaid conflict is at the root, When I’m around she feels self conscious about her gorging on food,,even sneaks it when I’m around. I have never said anything to her about her eating habits, she implies it?
R D: She actually stuffs her face…she gorges, this is not an exaggeration, like a race to eat “anything” My family consists of my sisters, mom, and nieces. Trust me I have talked to the mom. She just says she is an emotional eater, and says she gets more upset if its brought up and she eats more.

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My daughter and multiple sex partners?

  • Posted on August 2, 2010 at 7:23 pm

Hi, recently I’ve noticed strange behavior in my daughter. She just turned 17 in August. She had broken up with her boyfriend of a little under two years, about two months before her birthday. Much to my surprise, she seemed completely not phased by the whole ordeal. She apparently broke up with him after a rift, and them mutually cheating on each other (teen drama, huh?). I know for a fact, that they were having sex, as she came to me about birth control when she was 15, probably 4-5 months into their dating (and while it made me uneasy, she’s an extremely bright girl for her age, we’ve known the boy since they were in kindergarten due to them going to grade school together, and I appreciated that she came to me). We have a very close relationship, but as mother and daughter, not as friends. She knows she can come to me about anything, but that doesn’t mean she will, and I, being a psychologist, tend to see shifts in her mood that create an urge to ask her what’s wrong. Back to the problem, while I would not say I’m naive as a parent, she could do a very well at making it seem so. She’s very sneaky, and has a very (unfortunate for me)way of telling the truth but being able to bend and twist it and everything, so confusing. She’s rather very popular, has always had lots of friends even as a child(and always been boy crazy), and she’s got a very confident, quick personality. And as bizarre as this may sound she’s also, to my husband and I’s dismay, very beautiful and what people consider “hot” and you know, has the “body”, so boys have been around since I can remember (and hey, I’m not that old, :]). What bothers me, is she seems a bit distant, she’s been sneaking out of the house past her curfew (and she’s pretty out of control with that, as even if she’s grounded under stern conditions, she still leaves, she has no limits). I’ve caught her intoxicated, which also resulted in punishment. I’m pretty positive she’s also sneaking boys into her room EVEN when we’re there. She has a very innocently manipulative way with her, and we’ve even walked in on her with a boy both half naked in the process of making out, I’ve never seen a boy head for his shirt so fast. I’m concerned with the fact, that since she’s broken up with her boyfriend, that she’s had multiple partners since then. She is definitely someone I can see with a (forgive the ridiculous comparison) “Madonna” type stance on sexuality, despite knowing it would make us very unhappy. I’ve asked her about it, each time it results in her blushing and the “MOM!” sneer look on her face. So it’s very difficult, she’s very difficult to punish. She’s STILL on birth control even after having been broken up with her boyfriend, and has never said anything about coming off of it. She shows all the signs of sexual activity in a teen, except she’s definitely not all phased upon the fact that she seems ‘talk’ to numerous boys like she’s interested in a relationship, when it probably should phase her as the boys have no idea they aren’t the only ones. She brings different boys over all the time (SUPERVISED!), and is very flirty. This also makes me worry about her reputation. Help?! I know I should be happy she’s usually open with me, and that she came to me when she started having sex, etc., but this is very worrying to me… the fact that it’s extremely hard to punish her AND the chance of there being different sex partners.

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I am a stepmom, how do I deal with my partners alcoholic daughter?

  • Posted on January 8, 2010 at 8:07 am
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