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By Washington state law, does my girlfriend have to store a known drug dealer’s personal property in her home?

  • Posted on January 23, 2011 at 3:20 pm

My girlfriend was friend’s with this girl who’s boyfriend was busted for a 1/2 ounce of meth. He sent a letter to my girlfriend from jail stating for her and her elderly parents to hold his belongings until his release from jail which is in two or more years. I personally have an issue with this because God knows what unsafe things may be in this stuff and my girlfriend’s daughter who is seven should not have to be in the same home as his stuff. Any advice???

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is this good? and is it too personal?

  • Posted on September 29, 2010 at 4:32 pm

My parents got divorced when I was nine years old, but I feel like they were never even together in the first place. I don’t remember my parents ever spending time together, except for the loud fights they would have. I don’t remember guests coming over, except for the police who would come to calm my dad down during those fights. I don’t remember my dad tucking me into bed, having father-daughter days with me, or teaching me how to tie my shoes. I do, however, remember the day I came home from skiing in third grade to my father gone and moved out. I remember my mom telling me that it was for the best. I know for certain more than anything in the world the reason why my dad has never really been there for my family and me: alcohol. Because of my dad’s alcoholism, I hate alcohol. I more than hate it. It hurts me more than anything to know that my dad chose alcohol over his own family. Some of my relatives in my extended family also struggle with alcoholism, and I am determined never to be one of them.

it’s for a personal essay for school. it’s the introduction. but i think it might be too personal, so i might not use it. what do you think?

thanks

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Is my relationship with my daughter affecting my personal relationships?

  • Posted on August 16, 2010 at 1:24 pm

I have a very close relationship with my 5 year old she is my life, pretty much the only reason why i wake up every morning just to see her little face, like everything i do is for her,I feel like theres women out there and they come and go but my baby girl is always going to be there, its like she’s the only girl i adore,especially with all the crap i took from her mother and still am taking, even if i meet a girl and I’m with her I’m reluctant to introduce them too my baby girl because I want her too have stability in her life not just someone who’s there one minute and is gone the next, especially now that i have full custody of her because her mother is going to be in jail for 140 days and I’m the only parent she has right now..like the only thing she knows right now is mommy’s sick and can’t be with her, when she’s really in jail for getting caught with cocaine and driving while intoxicated, like i can see myself either back together with her mother or alone & its been like that for almost 7 years, but its like she’s the only lady i need in my life right now?

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A Personal Story About Binge Eating Disorder

  • Posted on January 8, 2010 at 2:24 am

“I could die if I don’t eat food.” “I could die if I do eat food.” Those two statements were a near reality for me as I silently tortured myself into thinking that food could take away my living hell.

Why do I want to write my story and share my personal details with the world? Because I have something important to say and I have learned that without speaking about healing binge eating disorder others who suffer from it might stay that way forever when they truly don’t need to.

My experience with eating disorders started with anorexia when I was 16 years old. Growing up I had always been self-conscious about my body even though I was of normal height and weight. But being “normal” doesn’t make a hill of beans if you don’t feel it on the inside. That’s just the outside. My grandmother used to tell me I would be fat if I ate those “bad” foods and those thoughts were the start of an unhealthy view of food. I adopted her belief that I would become fat so I feared food and I feared becoming fat.

As I got older I kept an unhealthy relationship with food at an arms length. At age 22 I was married and by 25 had my first daughter. At 27, I left my husband. I chose not to live a life filled with deception and corruption which is what my husband had gotten into. He was embezzling money from the police department he worked for and was blaming me for it. I couldn’t believe that my husband who claimed he would love me forever would blame me for his wrongdoings. Did he ever really love me?

Even though I was 3 months pregnant with my second baby, I took my 2 year old and left with a broken heart. He didn’t care about me, my 2 year old or my unborn child and my self-esteem hit rock bottom. In the three weeks that followed, I lost my job, I lost my grandfather, I lost my marriage and I lost my unborn child. My life would never be the same.

At first I used food as consolation. I had lost just about everything in my life that was important to me and food seemed to soothe my soul. I was depressed, angry, sad, hurt, and desolate. A few months had passed and I started to put myself back together for the sake of my daughter. I started exercising and dieting because in my twisted mind I thought that no man would want me unless I looked like a skinny model from a magazine. I was 27 years old, getting divorced and had a 2 year old. What man would want to be involved with a woman like me?

I started starving myself and compulsive exercising and the weight just melted off my body. Of course so did my muscles and immune system. But I didn’t care because my body was responding to the control I wanted to have over it. I couldn’t control what was going on in my life but I sure could control my own body.

My family was close to doing an intervention as I pushed my body beyond healthy limits. I was smoking cigarettes so I wouldn’t eat and still compulsive exercising. My lungs were screaming at me but I kept pushing. My knees finally gave out from overuse and it was then that I was forced to stop exercising compulsively. My body was trying to regain control over my brain and it was using methods to get me to stop. It finally worked. It amazes me now when I think about how brilliant the human body is and how it sends messages when the brain isn’t listening!

In the meantime, I began dating again and found that I was still attractive to men even with a child in tow. My self-esteem seemed to get a little better but food was still an issue. I hardly ate and still smoked. I had not dealt with the underlying issues of abandonment from my marriage so there was still emptiness in my heart.

A few years later I met my current husband. I was ready. I had waited 7 years after my divorce to meet him, had let go of the pain I felt inside, and he was like a fairy tale prince. It seemed that my life had turned for the better and I fell head over heels in love with him. We were planning our wedding and building a house at the same time so my stress level was enormous but I was on cloud nine.

Here is the interesting thing about eating disorders though. Even though you may feel euphorically happy, you can still have inner struggles that bring out those dormant eating disorder feelings. Because I didn’t deal with the issues, I began to binge eat. I used food to combat my stress. And of course as I became a full time binger I had to hide what I was doing. How ashamed and embarrassed I was that I had become this hideous person that hid cakes in the bottom of the refrigerator and stuffed myself so full that I could barely move after. And to top it all off, I started to gain weight.

After three years of hiding my binging, I “came out of the closet”. Binge eaters typically hide their pain and food intake from everyone so coming out is scary but liberating. Another thing that happened when I finally decided to stop hiding is that I wanted to heal my eating disorder as fast as I could. I needed a way out of this disorder and I was going to find it.

I attended Overeaters Anonymous meetings for some time but they were of no help to me whatsoever. My experience with OA was that a hand full of people got together at my local church and sat around complaining about how stressed they were. No one knew how to deal with binge eating. No one knew how to heal it. In fact, every time I went to a meeting I had to state my name and that I was a compulsive overeater. I just didn’t believe that was the truth. I wanted to say that I was cured. I also got tired of listening to other people complain. my next attempt at help was to call my primary doctor.

My PCP had no idea what binge eating disorder was. She suggested I join a structured eating program like Weight Watchers. She also thought I should try an anti-depressant. She sent me home with a prescription for pills and a huge dose of frustration. Didn’t anyone know how to heal this? What kind of options did I have? It turned out, not many.

That’s when I decided to study holistic health and nutrition. I realized that I had been sent on my path of eating disorders for a purpose and that was to help other people find options to heal their disorder when they finally reach the point of “coming out”.

Finding the help I needed was miraculous. My healing included: stress management, challenging my old belief systems, getting to the root cause of my disorder, learning meditation, visualization, and assertiveness training and coping skills. It all came down to me and no one else. All of my actions and decisions up until the time I began healing my disorder where focused on everyone else except me. It came down to realizing that I have a great deal of value and self-worth and I can participate in life by being true to myself.

I learned that anyone can have an eating disorder no matter what their background is or income is or color is. I learned that stress can literally put you over the edge and cause you to binge eat and not knowing how to deal with stress correctly is part of the problem.

I also know that with healing comes an obligation for me to speak out so that other wonderful individuals don’t go home with a prescription for something that only masks the problem and not solves it. I urge people to learn about the disorder, to find online or offline methods available for help and stick it out. Healing binge eating disorder is possible. I am living proof of it.

“My name is Nadine and I am a healthy, happy, beautiful person.”

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Teach your Daughter Personal Responsibility

  • Posted on January 4, 2010 at 4:07 pm

So you bit the bullet and splurged on an American Girl© Doll for your dear daughter. What Mom can resist? The bad news is there is a lot more money to spend once your daughter gets wind of all the fabulous outfits and accessories that are available. The good news is you have just chosen the perfect tool to teach your child about personal responsibility, and she is at the perfect age to learn.


With that in mind I offer you the following tips for caring for your American Girl© Doll. You might want to print the list and post it somewhere in your daughter’s room. You can even revert to a tried and trusted method of encouragement and give her stickers or awards when you notice her following these easy, age appropriate guidelines.


Do…


Wash your hands. If you wash your hands before playing with your American Girl© Doll you will keep her cleaner for longer. No one likes peanut butter in their hair!


Keep your doll out of the direct sunlight. If you leave your doll in the sun all of her coloring will fade, including her clothes.


Brush your doll’s hair. Try to brush her hair every night. If you brush it frequently with a wire doll brush it won’t get tangles and frizz. If your doll’s hair does get tangled you can use a little water on the brush to smooth it out. Leave in conditioner works well too.


Use baking soda to wash your doll’s face. If your doll’s face get dirty or marked you can put a little baking soda on a lightly dampened washcloth and gently wash her face. Let it air dry afterwards.


Vacuum your doll’s cloth body. You can keep your doll’s cloth body clean and free of dust and dirt with help form your Mom and a vacuum. Gently rub cornstarch in to the cloth, leave her overnight, and then vacuum it away.


Don’t…


Drink or eat while playing with your doll. It is one thing to have a tea party for your doll (use water for the tea), but you should not eat or drink when you are playing with your doll. Juice stains or sticky jelly will ruin her.


Seal your doll in a plastic box. When you aren’t playing with your doll you should put her away, but don’t seal her in a plastic tub or box. If there is even the slightest bit of moisture in the tub she may get mold or mildew.


Blow-dry or curl your doll’s hair. Heat applied to the hair spells disaster. Style with a brush and a little water.


Try and scrub away an ink mark from your doll’s arms or legs. If you accidently get ink on her while she is helping you with your homework, don’t try and scrub it away. Have your Mom help you fix it. You should cover her entire body except for the part with the ink, rub a little vegetable oil in to the stain and leave her in the sun. If you do this a few times the stain should disappear.


Put doll clothes in the washer or dryer. You should hand wash doll clothes in a very mild soap and air dry them. When in doubt send the clothes to the dry cleaners.


If your daughter follows these simple rules she should be able to pass on her American Girl© Doll to her daughter. Now that’s a return on investment!


For American Girl© Doll storage trunks and other useful accessories visit http://www.dollsclothes-emilyrose.com


These tips are not official American Girl© tips, or endorsed by Mattel or Pleasant Company.

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