You are currently browsing all posts tagged with 'point of view'

How to Deal With A Break Up After Your Boyfriend Dumped You

  • Posted on July 2, 2009 at 10:40 pm

I feel like dying because my boyfriend dumped me! It isn’t the end of the world and it isn’t even close. Even though it hurts, it isn’t going to kill you. This is something that you can and will get over. It will take some work, some help, some readjusting in the way you think, and some time. Be sure that just because you are upset that my boyfriend dumped me doesn’t mean that life stops, life goes on. Be ready for it.

Getting past the idea that my boyfriend dumped me isn’t going to be easy but it also isn’t going to be impossible. You are going to have to pick yourself up and dust yourself off and move along. The alternative means that you will be stuck wallowing in your own misery. If that is no life that you want to have then do what it takes to get out of it. It takes work to climb back out of the pit but the work is worth it.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help but be careful where it is that you ask for it. If you are battling depression because of it, seek professional help. This doesn’t mean that you are going crazy, depression is something that many people deal with so don’t worry about people judging you. Do try to beat it, though.

It may be, though, that you have good friends or family that can help you out while you are trying to deal with that fact that my boyfriend dumped me. Be careful to not lay too much on these people, though, and when you ask for advice, follow it.

Stop complaining about your life all the time. There is no sense asking for advice from people close to you if you don’t listen to their suggestions at all.

You might need to rethink your attitude about being dumped. Look at it from another angle or someones point of view. You might think that your life is over now that he is out of your life but that might not be true for another person.

Make sure to keep yourself busy to take your mind off things. Perhaps you would like to take up a new hobby to better yourself. Discover a new passion for things now. Channel your energy into something positive.

The end result will be a happier you. Once you have found that happiness, it will become magnetic and draw in the person that you dream of, the one that makes you smile and makes you feel like you belong. It will make you look back on this dark time in your life when you were crying because my boyfriend dumped me and see it as one of the best things that ever happened to you.

What Is Rebound Relationship Tips? Watch a video that shows you the mistakes you should avoid when trying to get your ex back. Visit the website below. What Is Rebound Relationship Tips

Article Source: How to Deal With A Break Up After Your Boyfriend Dumped You

  • Share/Bookmark

Get Clarity in Thinking via Counseling NY

  • Posted on July 2, 2009 at 11:47 am

When a person is not satisfied from his life and is full of anxiety, anger, grief or embarrassment and wants to look for the better ways to march with the world, go for the counseling NY. Counselor is certified and trained personnel who creates such environment that gives comfortable and safe feeling to his client so that he can openly come up with all his distressing issues.

During counseling, the counselor listens carefully without interruptions and thereby understands and identifies the problem area of his client from the latter’s point of view. Today, Counseling NY deals with numerous different kinds of emotional distress. One can benefit from it at one time or the other. Counseling NY proves supportive to deal new and different life situation, to overcome the bad habit, aid in work and family related issues and any other life problems.

There are various forms of counseling such as:
• Cognitive Behavioral therapy
• Person centered counseling
• Psychodynamic counseling
• Empathy
• Non-Verbal communication
• Reflection

Depending upon the direction that counselor recommends to his client, the type of counseling ranges from full directive counseling to non-directive counseling. Where, the former is about to listen the trouble and advising accordingly and also motivating the client. The latter is about encouraging the counselee to explain the problem, enable him to understand the same and find out the procedure to overcome from this.
During counseling NY, up to eighty percent of the communication is non verbal and that is achieved through nodding, eye contact, involved and positive face expression, etc. The counselor should put away his personal value system to better understand the client.

Counseling can be the
• Individual counseling is based on one-to-one conversation where the person who has lost the sense of idea or is dissatisfied, experiences better life at home and office through sharing personal fear in secret frame. Here, with the time mutual trust develops between counselor and patient.
• Group counseling ensures people that they are not alone. There are other too who have the same experiences and undergo through the same emotions though the growth stage may be different. Here, every member in the group supports each other for their well-being.

Now days, online counseling NY also known as online therapy, e-counseling or e-therapy is on boom which provides service through World Wide Web technology. Here, coaching is done in virtual office that is through video conferencing, e-mail or by real time chatting. It will be the great option if:
• One need privacy and don’t want to be identified
• Want to save time that too with flexibilities
• Lives in distant area
• Unwilling to meet counselor in office
• Have financial problems
• Want to know obvious answer to his questions

Article Source: Get Clarity in Thinking via Counseling NY

  • Share/Bookmark

Relationships: The Art of Listening

  • Posted on July 1, 2009 at 10:12 pm

In 1974, Dr. Virginia Satir presented the concept of mirroring in her groundbreaking book, “Conjoint Family Therapy.”

In 1975 Dr. Thomas Gordon wrote a best-selling book called “Parent Effectiveness Training.” In the book he taught parents to “active listen,” which means to reflect back to the speaker the feelings and information they are trying to convey.

Mirroring, or active listening, is a powerful tool, but whether or not it works depends upon your intent.

If you are active listening to another with an agenda to get them to see what they are doing wrong, or to get them to listen to you after you listen to them, then your intent in listening is to control. The person you are listening to can easily pick up the energy of control and will get angry or go into resistance. Listening with the intention to control backfires and just creates confusion in communication.

However, active listening from a true desire to understand another’s feelings and point of view can be magical. When you listen to learn and understand, rather than to control, you give the other person a great gift.

We all want to be heard and understood. While it is our responsibility to hear and understand ourselves – our own feelings and needs – and take loving action for ourselves, it also feels wonderful when someone we care about hears and understands us. This is the basis of emotional intimacy.

When I work with couples, I teach them that there are only two healthy ways of dealing with conflict:

1. Move into an intent to learn
2. Speak your truth and lovingly disengage

MOVING INTO AN INTENT TO LEARN

When you really desire to understand another, you move into an intent to learn – both about yourself and about them. Actively listening to the other is a major aspect of learning. When you really want to deeply know another, you listen carefully and mirror back to them what you hear them saying and feeling. It is not a matter of agreeing with them, but of understanding them. It is not about changing them or changing yourself, but about really hearing them and attempting to see the world through their eyes – understanding the good reasons they have for feeling and behaving as they do.

For example:

Your partner: “I’m still angry at you for being late and not calling me when you know I worry about you.”

You: “I hear you saying that it’s really unsetting to you when I don’t call when I’m going to be late. You feel I don’t care about the fact that you worry.”

Your partner: “Right. If you really cared about me, you wouldn’t want me to worry.”

You: “I understand. It hurts your heart when you know that I know you worry and I don’t seem to care about that.”

Partner: “Yes, that’s exactly right. So if you understand this, are you going to start to call me when you are late?”

You: It sounds like you believe that if I understand you, then I will change – that I have no good reasons for not calling, is that right?

This dialogue can go on until it feels complete to both of you.

Your partner may or may not want to hear why you were late without calling, and you need to let go of getting him or her to hear you. That’s the hard part!

SPEAKING YOUR TRUTH AND LOVINGLY DISENGAGING

There are times when, even if you are open to learning and really want to understand another, the other is just intent on attacking and blaming you. When this is the case, you might want to speak your truth and lovingly disengage. This looks like saying something like: “I’d love to talk with you about this when you stop being angry,” and then walking away, keeping your heart open. This means that you are not withdrawing in anger or blame. You are staying in compassion for yourself and the other person so that when he or she opens, you have no residue because you have taken full responsibility for yourself.

Once the other person is no longer angry and blaming, you might want to again open to learning and active listening to them – with no agenda that he or she listens to you. True listening is an act of giving with no expectation of anything in return. It is a kind and loving way to interact with someone you care about. It is a great gift.

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is a best-selling author of 8 books, relationship expert, and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® healing process. Are you are ready to discover real love and intimacy? Learn Inner Bonding now! Click here for a FREE Inner Bonding Course, and visit our website for more articles and help.

Article Source: Relationships: The Art of Listening

  • Share/Bookmark

Mastering Your Mind Power: Your Life is Yours to Live!

  • Posted on July 1, 2009 at 9:04 pm

We have been conditioned to live our reality from the materialistic point of view. In other words, only that which is solid; only that which we see, touch, hear, smell or taste is real. We believe that since when we experience whatever we experience, it is already in our world of reality, and we can only experience it with our physical senses. We believe we did not have anything to do with that reality coming into being and that we have no power to influence it.

We think that we are powerless to do anything but to be pushed and pulled back and forth by forces of the physical world. Since we believe this is so, then we feel we have no responsibility for what happens to us. We feel free to blame someone or some force outside ourselves. We conclude that life (our reality) chooses a few of us (about 5%) to experience the riches of life while the remaining 95% essentially are deprived of those riches.

If you only knew and believed a little more about how much power you really have at your disposal and understood how you can and should take more control of the forces that move you toward the financial abundance or the honor and respect you desire. You would be able to accept that most of the assumptions you have built about the so called real world around you are incorrect. You could even possibly begin to accept a different reality, one in which you have the power and ability to influence what kinds of experiences comes into your life.

Even though most of the beliefs in your mind that shaped your reality were not consciously formed by you, your life is yours to live as you desire. Now I am not suggesting that had those beliefs not been sort of forced upon you by the influences in your environment that you would have necessarily made different choices. Unfortunately, much if not most of the information that could have made a difference in your decisions was probably not made readily available to you.

I am reasonably sure that the pressures from your environment to accept the beliefs you have accepted were enormous. The number of people who would have supported you in forming different beliefs would have either been very small or non-existent. To form beliefs that were different from the prevailing beliefs in your environment would have likely made you and outsider. Being an outsider is probably as troubling for you as it is for most people.

Be advised that many of those same influences and pressures, such as family and friends, the media, and business and religious institutions, are very much alive and operating today. You, however, have the power to convert these influences and pressures into stepping stones instead of accepting them as stumbling blocks. It cannot be overstated that your life is your life. If you are consciously making decisions that the life outcomes you are now experiencing are the outcomes you desire, then consciously do everything you can to keep attracting those kinds of outcomes.

If, on the other hand, you desire to experience more of the riches of life, and if you accept that you are just as deserving of these riches as anyone else, then you are going to have to begin (or continue) to consciously make different choices as to what beliefs you will allow and what path you will follow.

This I know for sure. You can claim or re-claim control of your own mind power. You are the most miraculous of all living beings on earth. You are the owner of a mind that is so stupendous, that as you truly begin mastering your mind power and consciously using it, there is no dream that you can dream that you cannot achieve.

Harold L Lowe retired at age 62 when his six-figure income position was eliminated. He now wishes to share some of what he has learned since then and some of his experiences as well through articles. He is now studying The New Think And Grow Rich with the author, Ted Ciuba, a founding member of the World Internet Summit. To Claim A FREE Copy Of The Book That Inspired The Movie/DVD/Book, The Secret, Go To: Power Of The Mind

Article Source: Mastering Your Mind Power: Your Life is Yours to Live!

  • Share/Bookmark