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Sex Prescriptions?

  • Posted on March 26, 2011 at 1:21 pm

One day Bill complained to his friend, “My elbow really hurts, I guess I should see a doctor.”

His friend said, “Don’t do that. There’s a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor. Just put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It only costs ten dollars.”

Bill figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause out popped a small slip of paper on which was
printed:

You have tennis elbow.
Soak your arm in warm water.
Avoid heavy lifting.
It will be better in two weeks.

Late that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this machine could be fooled. He decided to give it a try. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction. He went back to the drug store, located the machine,
poured in the sample, and deposited the $10. The computer made the usual noise and printed out the following message:

Your tap water is too hard.
Get a water softener.

Your dog has worms.
Get him vitamins.

Your daughter is using cocaine.
Put her in a rehabilitation clinic.

Your wife is pregnant with twin girls.
They aren’t yours.
Get a lawyer.

And if you don’t stop jerking off, your
tennis elbow will never get better.

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The Effects of Stress on Your Health

  • Posted on July 2, 2009 at 11:47 am

Stress can be a factor that can deteriorate your health faster than any disease. Many people have suffered physically when dealing with problems that plague their lives. Since stress can affect you physically, mentally and emotionally, we can say that you won’t be safe until you get your problems under control with the proper stress management technique.

Learn to read the signs

In most cases, stress usually start mentally rather than physically. Since both are linked and work in tandem of your existence, we can say that the more affected you are with your problems, the more negative effect you will feel on your body.

To deal with this, you need to take extra care in observing your own body when being under stressed. Signs of heavy breathing, sweating, having trouble sleeping, or some aches and pains – they are all signs that your body is reaching its limit in coping with your stress.

There are plenty of techniques that you can take to help deal with stress and reduce the effect on your health. Breathing exercise can help regulate your oxygen intake and will help you relax. If you are having trouble sleeping, meditation can help you relax to the point of putting you to sleep.

You can also take in sleeping pills or anti-depressant medicines to help you along – these might be hard to come by since these are addictive if you keep taking it in. You might need to consult your doctor for prescriptions and if its safe to take these in.

Music therapy can also help you relax if you want to get a good night sleep after a stressful day at work. Since your mind is the problem when you are having problem sleeping, you need to make sure that you focus on keeping your thoughts in line and not get the better of you.

The adage “Music can soothe the savage beast” may very well work in your favor in this case. Go for nature rhythms or instrumental ones since these have a steady flow and can relax the mind and put you too sleep.

Eat well and eat right

Women tends to be more prone to eating than men when in the throes of stress. You need to keep an eye out on your diet and make sure you don’t go way past the limits that your body can take. Dieting is part of stress management and is routinely observed to keep your health as normal as possible.

Since eating habits tend to be erratice when you are having problems, you need to be careful in what you take in. Stay abreast of your weight and girth to determine if your eating habits are getting out of hand. Also, you need to be more conscious on what foods you take, make sure that these are healthy ones and stay away from fast foods or junk foods.

Start taking in vegetable salads with a healthy dose of some extra virgin olive oil instead of burgers and fries. Fruits can be prepared in plenty of ways to satisfy your cravings which is a healthy alternative to junk foods.

The secret to keep a healthy lifestyle during a time of stress to be more sensitive to your body. Try to be aware of possible signs that will indicate that your body is falling apart. The more you manage your stress, the more healthy your body would be.

Read up on pregnancy urine test at the Pregnancy Blood Test website. Find information on too much potassium at the Potassium Rich Foods website. For info on benefits of potatoes, visit the Potato Nutrition site.

Article Source: The Effects of Stress on Your Health

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