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Defiant 10 yr old step daughter refuses to let you help her look presentable for school…what to do?

  • Posted on July 27, 2010 at 9:22 am

She argues with you about everything. Even what the caculator says is wrong when you use it. You decide to start picking your battles, letting things go unless it’s a safety issue. Today she gets angry at you before you start on her hair and won’t let you do it. Her bio father is already at work. It’s your job to get her off to school. You tell her, Fine, style it yourself. She finishes it and has an uneven part down the middle, lopsided pig-tails hair all over her head. She knows it looks bad. You offer to fix if she will apologize or ask you to redo it. She is to stubborn to do either. At first you feel empowered by not engaging a power struggle with a 10 yr old. However, when you take her to school won’t people think you must be a nelectful, intoxicated or uncaring step mother to send your child to class with a what appears to be raging bed-head?
Ivory_Fla why do I have to “apologize to her for being controling”. I told her that if she didn’t want me to fix her hair that was fine and on that day I would only assist if she treated me with the same respect that I give to her. (asking for assistance or apologizing for being disrespectful). I look at some of these answers and I know why America seems to be going the way of Rome, Egypt, Soviet Union and other legendary failed empires. Oh and I’m a step mother not a mental punching bag, not a shrink, not giving machine. I was raised by a mother who would of beaten my ass, treating me the way this kid does AND she would off taken away my dolls for a week AND made me go to school with messed up hair to boot. Also, ppl stop assuming that she and I don’t spend hours together doing all kinds of activities that she likes, that I haven’t bent myself into a pretzel trying to bond with her, understand her, love her. I’m starting to think THAT’s the problem. I’ve been TOO accepting!

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