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should I go to psychologist or psychiatrist?

  • Posted on May 3, 2011 at 9:21 pm

Hi all, sorry if this is long but please help me:
I am 21 years old, and am a senior in college. My maternal grandmother who had alzheimer’s disease for many years died very recently (six days ago) and I am very conflicted on what to do. My maternal grandmother and I did not have a relationship at all, even though my mom and I lived with her for many years. To make a long story short, when I was younger, my grandmother would allow my cousin who is severely bipolar and addicted to perscription pills and heroin against the wishes of my mother and I to visit her at the house. My mom and I were strongly against this because my cousin tried to kill my mother twice in front of me, and myself the third time. We would also have to lock all of our medications and valuables away. My mom and I would also have to deal with my biological father because my cousin and his father were trying to make my mom look like an unfit parent, and take my grandmother’s house away that my grandmother was going to pass down to my mother. My mom and I tried to talk to her numerous times about it, but she refused to listen and treated him like her “golden child” despite everything he had done, even though I was sober, doing well in school, and involved in my community. It seemed like he was given all of the attention and love by her, and I was given none. She was also very mean and disrespectful to me and my mother, and friends. She was always very mean and cold even before she was diagnosed with her disease. The last time my cousin came to visit when I was 17, my mom was given an ultimatum by her mother to choose her daughter (me) or her mother. Like any other mother, she chose to protect me, and that resulted in us being kicked out of our home. I rarely saw or spoke to her after that incident, even after we had to move back to her house last year, after living for a few years in a mobile home. Now that my grandmother is dead, I unexpectedly have been feeling hurt, angry, and surprisingly sad. I feel like I have tried to talk to everyone in my family and my closest friends about the depth of my feelings, especially my mother, but I feel they will never truly understand. I never have expressed any of my feelings about my past with my grandmother or the above incident with anyone. Sorry this is so long, but where do I go from here please help!!!! All advice is greatly appreciated. Thanks!

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Factors Distracting Alcohol Rehabilitation Procedure

  • Posted on July 3, 2009 at 5:13 am

The major factor that distracts an alcohol rehabilitation procedure is the environment. If the alcoholic does not feel comfortable or neglected, he will search out escape routes. If the people carrying out the rehabilitation procedures are not caring or the alcoholic feels uncomfortable, he or she may act as if they have rehabilitated just to end the procedure. Alternatively, they may react violently towards the people carrying out the rehabilitation procedures.

An alcoholic has reached this state definitely because of some reason. The only way to rehabilitate him or her is by making them desire for rehabilitation. The rehabilitation cannot be forced. Either alcoholics will require rehabilitation because they may lose their lives if they are not rehabilitated, or they are suffering from a health problem caused by consuming too much alcohol.

However, whatever may be the case it’s the alcoholic’s own will power that will do the trick. An alcoholic must have the will to live and to stop drinking. This is what a rehabilitation procedure is supposed to do. If the recovering alcoholic cannot get on with the psychiatrist or psychologist, how is he going to recover? If he feels that he is devoted with insufficient time, he’s not going to recover.

If after rehabilitation, he has to go back to the same environment. Facing the same set of social and family problems, he will return to drinking. Therefore, a number of factors matter in a rehabilitation procedure. First is the attitude of the staff of the rehabilitation center. They must recognise that an alcoholic is a disease like any other disease, and requires proper nursing and care.

They must not be treated with disdain or like social outcasts. They should not be made to feel rebellious. In fact, they must be treated as normal human beings. Alcoholics are human beings who are suffering from an acute problem! Secondly, the atmosphere of the rehabilitation center must be serene and soothing. However, most important is getting the alcoholic to speak about what drives them to alcohol, and how can this urge be removed.

The family plays a major role in this. Family support, acceptance, and spending time in good company are what an alcoholic needs. The alcoholic may be deeply disturbed and may feel a sense of loneliness. Having no responsibilities, an ample income and nothing to do can drive a person to alcohol. There are no wonder cures for this ailment and even the best rehabilitation procedures can fail.

The doctors can be the best, the atmosphere friendly and serene. Yet the rehabilitation procedure can fail. Until the alcoholic is not ready to change and has the will to change, the procedure is doomed to fail.

Rehabilitation requires building a one on one relationship with an alcoholic. Getting them first to speak about what drives them to drink, then building their will power to leave drinking and making them mentally strong. This is what will work. An alcoholic must genuinely believe in change. Only when they develop this attitude, the rehabilitation procedure will work. One on one session group therapy and other procedures can fail if the alcoholic refuses to budge mentally.

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Article Source: Factors Distracting Alcohol Rehabilitation Procedure

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The Dangers of Recognition

  • Posted on July 1, 2009 at 10:12 pm

We all have the ability to recognise – someone we already know, a difficult situation when we see one, an opportunity that’s staring us in the face or a problem that needs our attention. However, our psychological ability to recognise is just as much a curse as it is a blessing. We take in raw data through our body’s five senses – a psychologist would term this “bottom up” data – through the process of cognition. At this point, the data, of itself is meaningless – we need to interpret it. This is done by adding our “stored knowledge” or “top down information” to the raw data and, in this way, we make sense of what is going on. This is the process of re-cognition.

As I said, this process enables us to make sense of the present moment. Or does it? The big problem with our stored knowledge or top down information is that, generally speaking, it is decades out of date. We generally start storing key elements of that “knowledge” between 12 and 18 months – when we create “schemata” (or pigeonholes) into which we then fit anything similar that we might encounter in later life. From an evolutionary perspective, this gave us a huge advantage – we didn’t have to waste our precious attention on routine day-to-day stuff – we needed that attention to watch out for the next man-eating tiger that might otherwise devour us!

But the result is that, in the modern day, we pay little or no attention to what our senses are actually telling us in the present moment – we prefer, automatically and subconsciously of course, to let our top down information make sense of what’s going on for us. And, in the process, we make nonsense of the present moment and react accordingly.

Somewhere between 12 and 25 years (adolescence), we generally stop taking in new top down information. That has drastic implications for the rest of our lives because, for the rest of our lives, we live in an illusory world of make believe – we create what we think is going on based on out of date information. As a result, so-called “normal” people never really appreciate what is actually happening – everything is “filtered” through their stored knowledge – and, as result, they react to what they think is going on. And, as you and I know, reacting generally makes matters worse, not better.

Quick example. Somebody at work asks you to do something. Because of the way we automatically pigeonhole people, you will have made up your mind whether you like or dislike the person who’s doing the asking within four minutes of meeting them for the first time. Say, for example, she reminds you of your sister-in-law (and you hate your sister-in-law because she reminds you of someone who bullied you at school thirty years ago). Also, the thing you’ve been asked to do is something that you think you don’t like doing – you might, for example, have a hang-up about putting together some sales figures because, when you were small, your father gave you grief over how awful your math marks were (these are all true client stories, by the way).

So, someone, who not only could be the nicest person in the world but who might also have a major impact on your career and on your life, asks you to do a simple task – and you snarl at them in return. It’s an automatic reaction. The request is the raw data – but you’ve made nonsense of the request based on a load of out-dated notions that are stored deeply on your subconscious. And that’s the process of recognition.

And that’s what gets normal adults into trouble. Conflict breaks out at work and at home – not because of what’s actually going on but because of what normal people think is going on. But, worse than that, real opportunities are missed because they are never spotted in the first place. The opportunity could be staring you in the face and, because of your top down data, you wouldn’t recognize it for what it truly is.

Normal people need to stop recognizing and start cognizing all over again. That’s why so many business and sports people meditate – it enables them stop recognizing and start experiencing what is actually and really going on, using their five senses, in the present moment. Watch your TVs – all the great sports people “meditate” before a field kick or a tee shot, before a penalty or a serve in tennis. And I meditation was good enough for someone as prolifically successful in business as Thomas Edison well then, it’s good enough for me. Start paying attention to what your five senses are actually telling you. Stop analyzing, judging, adding your top down out of date information. Whether it’s through some form of formal meditation or just “stopping to smell the roses” – break the vicious cycle of the normal repetitive behaviour that normal recognition automatically produces.

Copyright (c) 2009 Willie Horton

Willie’s work in the area of self-improvement and meditation has been described as “life-changing” and “phenomenal” by clients from every walk of life. His acclaimed two-day personal development workshop is now available online at Gurdy.Net

Article Source: The Dangers of Recognition

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The Dangers of Recognition

  • Posted on July 1, 2009 at 10:12 pm

We all have the ability to recognise – someone we already know, a difficult situation when we see one, an opportunity that’s staring us in the face or a problem that needs our attention. However, our psychological ability to recognise is just as much a curse as it is a blessing. We take in raw data through our body’s five senses – a psychologist would term this “bottom up” data – through the process of cognition. At this point, the data, of itself is meaningless – we need to interpret it. This is done by adding our “stored knowledge” or “top down information” to the raw data and, in this way, we make sense of what is going on. This is the process of re-cognition.

As I said, this process enables us to make sense of the present moment. Or does it? The big problem with our stored knowledge or top down information is that, generally speaking, it is decades out of date. We generally start storing key elements of that “knowledge” between 12 and 18 months – when we create “schemata” (or pigeonholes) into which we then fit anything similar that we might encounter in later life. From an evolutionary perspective, this gave us a huge advantage – we didn’t have to waste our precious attention on routine day-to-day stuff – we needed that attention to watch out for the next man-eating tiger that might otherwise devour us!

But the result is that, in the modern day, we pay little or no attention to what our senses are actually telling us in the present moment – we prefer, automatically and subconsciously of course, to let our top down information make sense of what’s going on for us. And, in the process, we make nonsense of the present moment and react accordingly.

Somewhere between 12 and 25 years (adolescence), we generally stop taking in new top down information. That has drastic implications for the rest of our lives because, for the rest of our lives, we live in an illusory world of make believe – we create what we think is going on based on out of date information. As a result, so-called “normal” people never really appreciate what is actually happening – everything is “filtered” through their stored knowledge – and, as result, they react to what they think is going on. And, as you and I know, reacting generally makes matters worse, not better.

Quick example. Somebody at work asks you to do something. Because of the way we automatically pigeonhole people, you will have made up your mind whether you like or dislike the person who’s doing the asking within four minutes of meeting them for the first time. Say, for example, she reminds you of your sister-in-law (and you hate your sister-in-law because she reminds you of someone who bullied you at school thirty years ago). Also, the thing you’ve been asked to do is something that you think you don’t like doing – you might, for example, have a hang-up about putting together some sales figures because, when you were small, your father gave you grief over how awful your math marks were (these are all true client stories, by the way).

So, someone, who not only could be the nicest person in the world but who might also have a major impact on your career and on your life, asks you to do a simple task – and you snarl at them in return. It’s an automatic reaction. The request is the raw data – but you’ve made nonsense of the request based on a load of out-dated notions that are stored deeply on your subconscious. And that’s the process of recognition.

And that’s what gets normal adults into trouble. Conflict breaks out at work and at home – not because of what’s actually going on but because of what normal people think is going on. But, worse than that, real opportunities are missed because they are never spotted in the first place. The opportunity could be staring you in the face and, because of your top down data, you wouldn’t recognize it for what it truly is.

Normal people need to stop recognizing and start cognizing all over again. That’s why so many business and sports people meditate – it enables them stop recognizing and start experiencing what is actually and really going on, using their five senses, in the present moment. Watch your TVs – all the great sports people “meditate” before a field kick or a tee shot, before a penalty or a serve in tennis. And I meditation was good enough for someone as prolifically successful in business as Thomas Edison well then, it’s good enough for me. Start paying attention to what your five senses are actually telling you. Stop analyzing, judging, adding your top down out of date information. Whether it’s through some form of formal meditation or just “stopping to smell the roses” – break the vicious cycle of the normal repetitive behaviour that normal recognition automatically produces.

Copyright (c) 2009 Willie Horton

Willie’s work in the area of self-improvement and meditation has been described as “life-changing” and “phenomenal” by clients from every walk of life. His acclaimed two-day personal development workshop is now available online at Gurdy.Net

Article Source: The Dangers of Recognition

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